Chapter 39

I stumbled into the house. My clothes were a little damp but they weren't wet anymore.

"Hope!" I called out to her.

"I'm in the kitchen!"

I entered the kitchen and she was mixing something in a bowl.

"I'm trying one of your mom's recipes." She turned and finally looked at me.

"Ben..."

She stopped what she was doing and walked over to me. She took my upper body in her hands and led me to the table to sit down.

"What happened?"

She took a seat in front of me.

I sighed.

"Is it Julie?!" She asked promptly. "I'll take care of her if you can't, she'll won't bother us when I'm done."

She stood and started to leave.

"No Hope...wait...it's not Julie."

Hope sighed placed one hand on her back, the other on her stomach and gently sat down in front of me again.

"I have a lot to tell you..."

She touched my hand.

"I'm listening."

"Before I tell you...just know that this happened years ago...before you...I was a different person then."

"I understand."

"Okay...it was about 8 years ago..."

As I told her the story, the memories became very vivid in my mind.

"Gwen and Kevin did go off to college; and I was alone for a while but then I got a new partner...Rook Blonko. He's a Revonnahgander from the planet Revonnah. He was a Plumber that got promoted to the rank of Magister...He was always there until he wasn't..."

"I think I remember him...before us, I mean."

"Yeah well...we finished a mission, one night; and we went on so many I don't even remember now what it was for...but that's not important. We stopped by Mr. Smoothy had a few, and then talked like we normally did...until..."

I sighed.

"Until we got into it..."

There was a flash in my brain as my memory took me to that night. I remember hitting an alley wall with my back. I slid down and placed my head in my knees.

"What the hell was that?!" Rook screamed. "I don't mind saving you Ben, and I'm always glad to help, but you practically threw yourself into the line of fire."

"Sorry...I didn't know I did that."

"Apparently there's a lot you don't know."

I got to my feet and got in his face.

"Why is everyone on my ass, huh?!"

Rook stepped away as though I'd hit him.

"Ben, I'm sorry... don't take it so hard...I'm just worried about you, you've been fighting lousy for weeks...and I've never seen you like this...is it some sort of Earth thing I don't know about?"

I turned from him.

"Look Ben...maybe I don't understand but you could help me too...I just want to know what's going on with you."

"There's nothing going on...just forget it okay...sorry I snapped at you."

I started to walk away from him when he grabbed the sleeve of my jacket.

"Ben wait!"

"Let me go!"

"Not until I know what's bothering you!"

"I said it's nothing, now let go of me!"

He pulled harder.

"No!"

"Rook, would you stop it?!"

I tried to pull away and he tried to pull me back.

"We're partners, partners are honest with each other!"

"I am being honest now let go!"

The moment I pulled away, my jacket came off and Rook held it in his hands. He stared at me, and the jacket as if in slow motion fell from his fingertips. On my left wrist near the Omintrix were two scars. I sighed heavily. Before I knew it Rook pushed me up against the alley wall and held my wrist out. He glanced over the wounds.

"I didn't know you got hurt in battle." He said.

"I...didnt." I replied softly.

"Then how is it these scars got there?"

I turned away. It was quiet for a brief moment. He grabbed my face and forced me to look at him. I gasped.

"How Ben!?"

"I...I did it to myself."

Rook stared deeply into my eyes. I starred back into his. Suddenly, a lining of tears found there way out of the corners of his eyes. He blinked and they ran down his face, but he was still and silent.

"Rook I...I..."

"I may not know a lot about your world, your culture, your slang...but...I know what it means to injury yourself...all this time with the jokes and the throwing yourself into danger...you were trying to do away with yourself."

I had thought that so many times and it did hurt to hear it out loud.

"Yes..." I mumbled softly. Tears gleamed in my eyes.

"Ben..."

He took my face in his hands. I gasped. He pulled my head in toward him and kissed the top of it.

"Stop please...Maybe you don't know...so I'll tell you...Your parents, and Grandfather, Miss Tennyson, Kevin...me, we all love you and we wouldn't know how to move on without you if you weren't here."

I pulled away from him.

"Some love, Gwen and Kevin ditched me...Grampa Max couldn't bother to lend me a hand so I got stuck with you...and then Julie...

"I didn't realize you didn't want me around."

"It's not that...none of you want me around!"

"Ben...that is not true."

"Then how come everyone's trying so hard to get away from me huh?!"

"Ben..."

"Like I'm just not the hero they want me to be I guess...or maybe they want me to stop being a hero...like its all been one big joke...all I've done and worked for...the lives I've saved it doesn't mean anything if no one's gonna be there to save me!"

Tears began to leave my eyes.

"I know things are different now, and that everyone has to go their own way but how can everyone just accept that so easily and forget the past like it never happened at all, why am I the only one that's alone?!"

"But you are not...You have me."

"And how long before I don't...no one understands how dark and scary it is to see yourself and not like what you see...And as for you, how can you just stand there and fight side by side with me when all the others have left...why are you still here!?"

"Ben..."

"I told you I work better alone and I prefer it that way because I'm not gonna let anyone hurt me again, everyone else has already broken my heart...everyone knows I'm incompetent...everyone except for you!"

"But I-"

"I'm done okay, I don't want to work with you anymore, and I'm not even fit to be in this world anymore! Maybe the Earth would be a lot safer if there so called savior whose nothing more than a mess no one is gonna clean up just died right here and right now!"

"Stop it!"

He shook my shoulders as I cried.

"That's enough, do you even hear yourself?!"

I pushed him away.

"I told you to get out of here!"

"I'm not leaving you...not like this!"

"Stop trying with me Rook, I'm a lost cause!"

"Now you listen to me...you're not a lost cause...but you do need help...

"Rook...I...I..."

I dropped to my knees and sobbed.

"I...I...I'm not...not worth the help Rook."

Rook got in his knees near me and wrapped the upper part of my body in his arms. I sobbed heavily. That had been building up in me for a while. I was in therapy for 6 months. Took medication and tried to better myself with Rook's help. During those 6 months, Rook told me he wanted to make sure his sister was getting along at the Academy. He went back and sort of retrained and helped her with her classes. When he came back on a break; we made a promise. A promise that I have long since broke.

"So...remember it's not permanent...my sister just needs all the help she can get...and it might take me a few weeks to get her established. So promise me something Ben."

"Anything Rook."

"When I get back...promise me two things okay?"

"I can't until I know what it is."

"Okay...promise me you won't do anything to hurt yourself...or worse...and we become a team again, just you and me."

"I promise."

Hope stared at me and was still holding my hand as I wrapped up the story. My scars still visible to this day.

"Well the weeks turned to months and I heard he was doing some hero work with his sister in another galaxy. I forgot all about him and our promise the day I saved you, and when I remembered...I knew it would break his heart, so anything about us I told everyone not to tell him...I told the Academy to keep him busy. Any mission, even if it's just a pick up and drop off mission; give it to him. I thought what he didn't know couldn't hurt him...I didn't want to hurt him after what he did for me."

"Ben..."

Hope stroked my hand with her thumb. She looked at the scars on my wrist.

"I've noticed them for years but I didn't say anything until you wanted to tell me...and..."

She paused and pulled her hair behind her ear.

"I don't understand how you could have just kept us a secrect from him all this time...if he was that good of a friend to you then, that was a real shitty thing to do to him."

"I know it was wrong, but-"

"Did you never count on him finding out, I mean if he did-"

"He did."

I looked up at her.

"He found out, and he found me today...I tried to play it off as if I didn't know what he was talking about, but he knows and he's really upset."

"Then you need to make it right."

"I know but I just don't think he'll understand."

"Ben...if anyone deserves the truth it's him...you've opened up about us to everyone else...it's time he knew everything."

Hope was right. She took my explanation better than expected, and I asked the Academy to set up a place to meet Rook face to face once again. We met on the boardwalk in the early evening. When I arrived he didn't have a weapon.

"You've got a lot of nerve, the Academy told me that you'd be here, but they also instructed me not to carry a weapon, any reason why?"

"Because I just want to talk."

"But you can have a weapon."

"I'm not going to fight you Rook."

"Where's Charmcaster?!"

Hope and Harmione both came with me. The got out of the car and walked over to us.

"I'm here Rook, and this our daughter Harmione."

"Hi..." Harmione answered softly.

"This is my family Rook."

He just stared.

"How could you do this to me, Ben?!"

I looked down.

"My sister passes her exams, and I'm stuck doing trash duty, and picking up after the other guys for seven years while you go behind my back!"

"I told you it's not like that Rook!"

"Then you better start explaining, you know how many times I tried to get back here to you, it was like mission after mission, and while I did get in my experience all I could think about was you, wondering how you were getting by without me, and I found out yesterday by one of the Vreedle brothers that you got a new partner!"

"I know...and I know it's Charmcaster...but she's not the Charmcaster you knew and she's never hurt me...ever."

"And I did?!"

I gasped.

"What did I do to deserve being shafted!?"

"I thought you wouldn't understand..."

"You think I'm stupid, all those years ago did you just think up a way to get rid of me?!"

"No Rook!"

"Maybe she has changed, and maybe she does make you happy, but you could have told me, you could have at least said you were doing better without me, something!"

"I know...Rook I'm sorry...but I didn't want to hurt you...

"You have Ben!"

"Rook...I..."

"Did it ever occur to you or cross your mind that you'd make me look like a complete idiot when everyone knows but me, I mean the Vreedle brothers?!"

I sighed.

"And your daughter...you could have told me about her..."

I saw tears in his eyes.

"I understand everything Ben...except I don't understand why I was kept in the dark...I'm not a child...I'm not foolish or...incompetent."

Hearing the word I gasped. The feelings I felt years ago came flooding back. My hands trembled. Now Rook was feeling it too, and it was all because of me.

"Daddy?"

I looked at Harmione.

"Daddy's fine."

Rook fell to his knees in tears. I slowly walked over to him and got on my knees near him.

"Rook...no amount of apologies will ever make it okay for what I've done to you...but I thought to myself I'd rather love you from a distance then hurt you up close."

He looked up at me with tears.

"You were one of the only people I could talk too, you we're the only one I trusted then, and I couldn't bare to have you know...Because I was afraid to see you like this...I know you had your sights set on us being a team...and that you really wanted it to just be me and you, but I never counted on finding love in Hope."

I turned and looked at her. She looked back with a concerned look in her eyes.

"But the truth...here it is."

Rook's eyes with glittering tears never left my eyes.

"I love you Rook."

Rook gasped softly and his eyes teared up even more.

"I've always loved you."

He couldn't speak.

"But basically we're two childhood friends still learning to deal with the changes people face in life as we grow up together. New environments, new people, new feelings to get used to. But now that you know, I want you to also know that in spite of any changes, we are and will always be the constant in each other's life. Though there may be challenges that we have to face in the process, though there may be some inevitable physical distance between us at some point in time, we will surely rise above those every time, as we always have together. Time really sucks. Change most definitely sucks. But you never will. I love you. And...I'm here forever. That's what I should have told you from the beginning...Rook, I'm so sorry."

He quickly hugged me and I hugged him back tightly.