Part 10 of 15 – Agent Bordey

La Kaz

Uh oh, cops with a photo. Is that DWAYNE? No time to catch up on gossip, my little voice is telling me to hide! And why are they arguing about the new man? Sounds like he's pissed off Dwayne and impressed the younger one; Fidel was it? What kind of person can generate totally opposite opinions like that? I'd better stay off ALL of their radars. Especially Dwayne's, he could blow my cover.

The Yacht

What's HE doing here?! Is he following me somehow? OK, over the side and away! No one can catch me when I put my mind to it in the water. What's that sound? Arrrrgh, he's got the boat! OK, OK, I give up. Come on, you Brit, just a little bit closer, lean out to me… and I'll pull you in and drown you!

Oh, no, no, he's letting the other officers lift me in. Probably doesn't want to get those lily-white hands wet. OK, time to hush and see what happens. I'll just say I was invited to the boat and Lavender had to go out on business. Oh, why is he interfering with my case? GO AWAY! You are a major green-eyed pain in the derriere!

Um, what's this? A shirt? Pfagh! It smells of fish but… still, it's a nice gesture on his part. I don't get to meet many real gentlemen in my line of work. Usually its ogle, ogle, ogle, how I hate oglers! And speaking of oglers… Dwayne! He hasn't once looked me in the eye yet! Oh, when this is over I'm gonna tell him a thing or three. You just wait, Myers! I'll get Maman on your case too and then you'll be sorry!

Station

Ooo, he's sharp! He's placed me at the Salcombe pool-party and he's not gonna fall for the innocent act again. Time to call in the big guns. I need to get out of this cell and so I demand my one phone call.

Well, that was humiliating. The Commissioner was very good about it but I'm not happy about the way things are going. Is my cover blown? I know Dwayne didn't recognize me but who else knows about my arrest? Patterson has agreed to keep that other prisoner locked up until this case is done but I'm still not happy. Now I have to stick around for a formal introduction to the big bad English! That will be fun, I'm sure! Not!

Well, here he comes, rattling up the steps like his hair is on fire and… he ran right inside without seeing us? What's his hurry? Late for tea, maybe? Ah, let's just get this over with.

What a stiff stick he is! And, what's this? He got my main suspect KILLED?! My case just fell apart and it's HIS fault! And he didn't have to be so snotty about it. I'M the sassy one, not him! I hate him! Although, he DID tie Charlie into it somehow. He found evidence I needed. How did he do that? He's only been on the island for 3 days!

La Kaz

That's right, Maman! Keep those enormous cocktails coming! I'm drowning my sorrows and trying to nerve myself up to call my handler on Gaudeloupe to try and explain how it all went so bad so fast! And I know whose name I'm gonna give up for the cause! Maybe if I get him into enough trouble, they'll pull him off the island and send a NORMAL person down here instead!

Ooo, a blue one, AND it's on fire! Merci, Maman.

Oh, who's calling me now? No one knows I'm here… except… … …

NOOOOOOOO! Sweet Mother of Mary, not that! Please, anything but that! The Commissioner must be insane to even think of something so awful. I've got to call my handler right now! I've got to put a stop to this madness! Come on! Pick up, pick up, pick… … …

….nnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooo… impossible… it can't be true… and, if it IS true, I need someone to please kill me now! My life is ruined! MAMAN! Two more of those blue things, a fire extinguisher, and a box of tissues, s'il vous plait. I've got something AWFUL to tell you… … …

Well, she could have at least PRETENDED to be sad for me but NNNOOOO-OH… she's upstairs making my bed and singing! Well, I'm glad SOMEone's happy about this catastrophe. Me? I'm gonna finish these drinks and throw myself into the… oh, look at the time! I'm due at the station. MY station now. Mine and… and… oh, sweet baby J… give me strength!

The station, hers and HIS

Merde, listen to him bleat and complain! You can hear him all the way down here, people are glancing up from the market! If I ever make it to the top of these stairs I'm going to tear a strip off him for being such a strident whiner! Plus, he needs to learn no one argues with Selwyn Patterson, not when he's determined to have his way. If I'M stitched up then POOLE gets stitched up… but HE deserves it; the controlling, impatient, nit-picking, irritating, annoying, ill-mannered, childish, 'I'm always right and you're always wrong', know-it-all, green-eyed man! It serves him right. How I hate him!

Back at La Kaz, drowning her sorrows

How did he do it? Who solves a case like magic in just 3 days? No one! That's who! No one! Now he's got a swelled head to go with those green eyes and thinks he's all special and everything. Well, Mr. I'm-so-perfect, I'm going to be going over the Hulme case notes with a fine-toothed comb just to see how you lucked into solving it so fast! You musta had help… or cheated… or something!

Solving a case in 3 days! Who does that? Nobody does that! Nobody human.

He'll never manage it again if he lives to be a hundred!

END – part 10

**And now onto the 'main event'… Richard Poole cast up on Sainte-Marie's shores!**