Hey guys so as you can see, I'm not dead! For whatever reason admin locked my account. I wasn't able to access it or post anything. I called numerous times trying to work out the problem. FINALLY, they figured out the issue and I'm able to post chapters.

So here is chapter 29. Remember this story is rated M. Proceed with caution.

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Chapter 29: Zuko

I was sick and tired of staring at worn out, rusted metal. I had counted the rivets above my head so many times my head began to ache.

The journey to Ba Sing Se was long and aggravating. Though the familiar, gentle rocking of the ship was a small comfort, I wanted to see my uncle, there was much to discuss.

Katara, however, was in her glory. Surrounded by her element she would often disappear under the currents, diving straight off the bow of the ship. Sometimes she was down there hours at a time before returning on deck; my men always watched her with peak interest that went beyond obligation.

It made my skin crawl.

It had been weeks since I felt her tremble below me. Since I heard her scream my name in ecstasy. The memory plagued me so thoroughly I almost couldn't hold a conversation with her without thinking about it. And we certainly didn't speak about it. But then again, we hardly had time to talk at all. We were constantly being pulled in different directions, or at least that's what she made me believe.

The sun had set hours back and now my mind swirled with images of her beneath me. I selfishly wished she were here. But I didn't dare walk to her cabin, especially this late at night.

I wondered if she has even thought about it since. Or if it meant to her what it meant to me. I didn't anticipate our friendship turning in this direction. Katara and I's relationship was decent at best and nonexistent at worst.

I felt like we had finally gotten to a good place. I trusted her, she trusted me, I told her about my mother even. Something I was very content with keeping to myself. She was adjusting well to life here in Caldera and it was nice to have such a good friend so close to home.

Everything shifted when her lips met mine after the wedding reception. She kissed me with so much passion I refused to believe she did it out of curiosity alone.

It was maddening trying to retrace my steps. Did I overlook a pointed glance towards me that would have given her away? Did she smile just a little too sweetly in my direction for someone who was just a friend? Or was this truly only in the spur of the moment?

My eyes fell shut as I tried to decipher it all.

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The boat docked a little after sunrise and I fidgeted nervously on the train taking us to the inner ring of the city. It was easy to spot Katara, her usual blue robes stood out amongst all the reds and oranges. I found myself staring into the back of her head, like it would spill all of her secrets.

The train screeched to a halt, my uncle greeting us at the exit. He motioned for Katara and I to join him in a transport to his house and to my surprise she sat right next to me. Much closer than necessary, thighs almost touching.

I struggled to keep my cheeks from heating and jumped from the dolly the second we got to his house; I ran to the room Mai and I shared the last time I was here. I shed my Fire Lord robes and changed into something far more casual, a weight lifting off my shoulders.

Joining my uncle in the kitchen for a cup of tea was the first relaxing thing I've done in weeks.

"So, I see you and Katara are getting along.." I nearly spit out my tea. Well, this was almost the most relaxing thing I've done…

"Of course! She's a good friend." I tried to sound as casual as possible, but nothing got by my uncle.

His left eyebrow twitched up in curiosity. To my relief he said nothing more about her.

"The other night I found Toph and Aang making out against my living room wall." He said nonchalantly, like he was talking about the weather. And to which I actually choked on my tea.

"Toph and Aang are good friends too." My face grew hot under his implications about Katara and I.

I sighed audibly, it was like word vomit. Once I started I couldn't stop.

"We were..uh-intimate I guess and since she hasn't talked to me. I can't help but think she regrets it, or maybe she didn't enjoy herself… I don't know how to approach her. I enjoyed our 'time' together but I don't want her to think I'm only looking for sex..because I'm not. Agni uncle, she's just..amazing-and strong and determined and selfless. I don't think I can give her everything she wants. Especially not from Caldera. She hates being far from the ocean as it is. I couldn't ask her to do that for me. And it's not like I can leave the throne. And how would that look to everyone else? She just left Aang and she's already moved on? Can the Fire Lord even be with a woman from another nation? Is that allowed? Plus, she's the Southern Water Tribe's princess. She has her own obligations. Uncle, she's-she-I'm...Katara is drowning me and-and no matter how hard I fight it's like she's pulling me deeper into the ocean and I just can't breathe and even crazier, I don't want her to stop. I want her, all of her. But I can't for the life of me figure out what she wants from me…"

Uncle said nothing for a moment as my head began pounding, the ache ever persistent, thumping away at my temples.

"You could just ask…" Her voice was as soothing as the tide. I could feel myself freeze and I glared at my uncle for not stopping my rambling when she walked in the room. I turned to her, my face ablaze as I looked down at Katara. I raked a hand through my thick onyx locks thinking over my next words.

"So uh...how much of that did you hear.." I prayed Toph would bury me into the mountain. Maybe she heard nothing at all, but I could tell from the look on her face that she had been there a while.

"Enough.." it was a simple answer, but it spoke volumes.

"I'll leave you guys to it then.." Iroh spoke before exiting the kitchen.

We stood there. Staring at each other. I could feel the temperature of the room rising. "Do you wanna, um..go for a walk or something?"

Despite stuttering, her voice was strong and I found myself nodding and following her out of the house.

I walked blindly next to her, my mind racing to think of something to say to make this all go away. I assumed we'd reach our destination much quicker than it seemed we would. To my surprise we arrived at the palace and were escorted inside. I couldn't fathom why she would bring us here. But I followed, still without hesitation. I lost track of the turns and twists as we weaved through the palace.

Katara led us into a room I had never seen before. The furnishings were minimal. A fireplace sat behind a large oak desk, bookcases with no books sat at the rear of the room, a few chairs and a simple couch. I knew for a fact I had never been in this chamber, so why would Katara bring me here of all places?

My eyes tracked her as she moved towards the mantelpiece on the hearth. Her delicate fingers wrapped around a stud and pulled downwards. The fireplace lifting off the ground. A secret tunnel, I realized. Katara disappeared into the darkness.

"Katara?..." no response. 'Spirits…' I entered the tunnel, lighting a ball of fire in my palm, how she could see where she was going was beyond me.

An eerie, but hauntingly familiar glow, beckoned to me at the end of the passageway. I squinted my eyes, just barely making out Katara's silhouette. The closer I got the more I wanted to turn away.

Blueish-green crystals protruded from the ground and ceiling illuminating the space. I cut out my flame.

Katara's back was to me. Why would she bring me here?

"I wanted so bad for you to be good that day. I could see it in your eyes. The struggle, the war raging inside you. I thought somehow, if I could free you of your mark, you would join us and we'd take back the city. I didn't realize how badly you seeked approval from...well anyone really.

"I thought about it a lot while Aang was recovering. I thought that if I could just talk to you one more time I'd convince you to do the right thing.

"Even then, all I wanted was to understand you. You were a child fighting a war you didn't believe in. But the longer I watched Aang struggle for his life the more I hated you. The world's one last hope for peace and you were so ignorant to the people around you; or maybe you were selfish enough that you were only chasing your goals and not looking towards the eventual future. I decided then that if Aang never recovered I would have hunted you and Azula down and bent the blood from your bodies.

I shuddered, knowing she wasn't lying and knowing she was perfectly capable of actually bending our blood.

"It's so effortless for us now. How you bypassed every wall I put up to defend myself, it requires far too much thinking for me to understand. And I don't want to think about it. Because if I think about how much you mean to me, it'll become real and I know something bad will happen. I know our minds will wander towards our eventual destinies with others. And we'll tear each other apart.

"I am not foolish enough to believe we could ever be given a fair chance…"

Her words hung in the air, thick and heavy. And it was true. It was all true. It could never be us in the end. Not in this lifetime.

"I don't want to think about it, or talk about it, Zuko."

She crossed the few feet towards me. Her eyes slightly swollen and rimmed red with tears I never saw her shed.

Her fingers trembled when she gripped the front of my robes as she dragged me against her. Katara's spare hand snaking up around my neck pulling me even closer. Her lips hovered over mine.

"I just want to act on it while we still have the chance…" Cold lips met my scorching ones. I couldn't keep up with her. She was everywhere, fingers gliding across my feverish skin like a plague with no cure. My robes were on the ground before I could even process her touches.

She brazenly gripped my length through my bindings and I hissed at the contact. Her tongue was gliding down my neck, wet and hot, when I felt her teeth sink into the tender flesh at my collarbone I was gasping in her ear. I was hard as granite in her hand and I just wanted to touch her. But the possessive look in her eye had me refraining from bringing us both tumbling to the ground.

I just watched as she kissed down my chest, to the scar on my stomach, a gentle and loving kiss placed there before she moved lower. Then she was to her knees glancing up at me. An image I'd commit to memory. Her eyes were wide, maybe even intimidated but filled with wonder and lust. I pondered if she had ever touched a man like this. But I didn't dare move as she pushed down my bindings.

My cock springing free from its confines, the cold underground air causing me to shiver. Katara grasped me at the base, dragging her palm up and down my length in a manner that was clumsy enough to give away her inexperience.

"You don't have to d-.." I gasped as her lips encased the head of me. Her tongue swiping out hesitantly, but it had me groaning. I adjusted my stance a little wider, my hands going down to move her hair out of the way, holding it behind her head.

Slowly, she took me in inch by inch, testing my restraint to not thrust into her mouth. She was warm and wet and inviting; I wondered if I'd die right here. My head was spinning and I thought I was going to pass out when her cold fingers enveloped my balls and squeezed gently.

"Agni...Katara…" her eyes met mine and she squeezed again a little too hard. I jerked away flinching. She looked shocked, apologetic even.

"Those are very sensitive, be gentle…" she nodded, face heating furiously under my instructions and gripped me again. Looking uncertain on what to do next.

"Show me.." she whispered, eyes meeting mine with rapt attention.

I nodded leaning against a crystal at my back. Her eyes didn't leave mine as I brought my hand to my mouth and licked it. Her head cocking sideways trying to understand.

"I'm sorry...I've never done this and I-"

"Watch me, Katara."

I grasped the base with one hand and the middle with the other. My hands moved in a routine I've long since mesmerized. Twisting opposite of one another, moving up and down.

"Can...I want to try…" She replaced my hands with her own and slowly picked up the movement. I rested my fingers at the back of her head again stroking her hair.

I groaned, unable to stop myself from giving into the ecstasy. Moving her head slightly closer. "Open." I instructed, her eyes meeting mine and her lips parted eagerly sucking on my head again.

"Spirits…you feel so good, Katara." My thighs were trembling and I couldn't stop watching her. Her lips wrapped around my length was an image I often dreamed about. Katara worked me, slowly, tentatively at first and as she increased her speed my weight fully rested against the crystal behind me.

My fingers gripped her hair as I tried to fight off my orgasm. I gathered my courage and glanced down at her. The look in her eyes sent me over the edge.

"Oh Agni, I'm gonna-" I pushed her head back, unsure if she wanted or even knew what was going to happen. She gripped firmly onto me and began sucking. My eyes rolled to the back of my head. But I forced myself to watch her.

I came into her awaiting mouth and she eagerly swallowed, a small smile on her face. Standing on wobbling knees she moved to grip me around my middle; I sighed into her mass of unruly hair. It was then, as I held her firmly to my chest, that I realized how tragic all of this truly was.

I hadn't just fallen for Katara, no, I've hit the ground and gone straight through it. I gripped her in my arms fearing she'd wash away like the tide.

And at that moment my heart wept for everything we'd never have.