New Years Eve was there at last. On the one hand, Haruhi was relieved. The wait was finally over. At the end of the day, she'd be fixed, Souji would live or die. On the other hand, she was feeling like that year had gone too fast, way too fast, and that she needed to be with him longer before maybe telling him farewell. She wasn't ready at all to surrender him back to the kami, not after this year, not after everything they've been through together, the tears she shed, the laughs they shared, their entwined bodies, the bruises and the kisses, two sides of the same coin that was Souji's wavering personality. No, she won't let the kami have him, not this time. They already took him away from her when she was a kid, taking him in the worst possible way for a warrior. She won't let them do it again. Souji was hers. She went to hell to get him back and she deserved to keep him to herself. She won. The kami could take his memory but it didn't change anything in the end. She did it. Souji loved her. He was going to survive. He had to.
She managed to make him agree to spend the evening at the inn to party a little with the rest of them but he wouldn't change his initial decision. He would disappear in the night and she'd see him in the morning if he was still around. He couldn't let her see him die.
The preparations of the party were lively even if everyone was thinking about Souji's fate, not only the both of them. Chizuru had prepared some games and Tama and Haruhi played a bit Hanatsuki during the afternoon before they helped Hajime with the cooking. It wasn't that simple since most of their work consisted in getting Shinpachi and the three kids out of the kitchen while they were yelling « Mochi ! Mochi ! Mochi ! ». Ayame asked to help after having been thrown out three times already and Tama showed him how to shape the mochi into little cat's head like the ones she used to do for Souji. Haruhi looked too and tried to do some too but Tama's really were prettier. She wasn't jealous though. Tama had a lot more experience than she had in the kitchen. Hajime let them take care of the mochi. His were usually delicious but he was more pragmatic than artist. There wasn't any need to shape the mochi into little cats, the taste was the same anyway, so he couldn't understand why they would do it. Yet, they had fun so why not. He was taking care of the soba and the zouni and Chizuru was making dumplings and tofu cakes. It was really nice that they made a bigger kitchen during the year Haruhi was away. They really could work all in the same room without stepping on each other's feet.
Kaede and Sanosuke were playing together with wooden toys in the common room under Shin and Souji's supervision, talking and drinking sake already. Sano was speaking a lot while playing and Kaede was listening carefully to every words, concentrated, sometimes answering and giggling. The both of them seemed to really get along. Ayame wasn't spending as much time with them because he was a « big boy » and not a « baby ». He prefered to be with Haruhi and Tama who were always congratulating him on his efforts. Hajime was asking them to stop though, saying that there was no reason to congratulate him when he was only doing his duty. He shouldn't be accustomed to this.
The evening was as lively as the preparations. Kids were playing games, Ayame tried the Hanatsuki with Tama but then, Shinpachi gently made fun of him, telling him it was a girl's game. Ayame put the shuttlecock down, vexed, but Heisuke picked it up, saying that there were no rules to play games and that he played it with Chizuru when they were younger. He played with Tama for a bit, making fun of Shinpachi and the latter came defending his honor shuttlecock in hand. The calm game rapidly turned into « make bruises on your opponent with full speed projectile » under Souji's laughter, who was arbitrator of the match. The others let them for a while but when it became a danger for the children and the integrity of the inn, Haruhi stepped in to stop them.
They ate everything that they had prepared although they were vexed that they spent so much time shaping the mochi into cats when Shinpachi was eating them three by three... Chizuru's dumplings got Tama and Heisuke's congratulations and the two women exchanged their recipe, talking about their favorites ingredients. Without surprise, Hajime was impassive and an external person maybe would have thought that he didn't care about the party but an observant eye could notice that he was never very far from his wife's tofu cakes. She probably made them specially for him, knowing her husband's taste for tofu.
Souji was playing with Kaede and Sanosuke, making them fly by holding them by their obi. Both the boys were laughing and yelling « More ! Higher ! Faster ! » and the adult was happy to comply. Haruhi looked at her futur husband for a while. She didn't really know who was having the best time here. The thought of her little boy with mahogany hair crossed her mind for a second. Souji would be a good father. Maybe not the most careful one but a loving one who would take time just to be with his children and that was already plenty. What a waste... If he hadn't believe Tsune, if she had told him, if she hadn't taken the herbs... Anyway, too late now. She just hoped Souji's desire to have children would never come between the both of them.
« Souji. » said Hajime, putting an end to the playtime.
« Is it time already, Hajime-kun ? » he smiled, putting the kids down.
His friend nodded, silent, and Souji tidied his kimono with a half-smile.
« Then, ladies, gentlemen » he said with a false wide grin « I'll see you tomorrow at the temple ! Enjoy your evening ! »
« Souji, I'm coming ! »said Haruhi, resolved.
« No way. » he patted her head « It's freezing outside, you'd catch a cold. Wait here, keep warm, eat and drink too much. »
« Souji... Let me come... » she begged, clenching to him.
« Don't worry. » he smiled, detaching her hands « we have a wedding planned. I'm not gonna let you escape it. I'll be back. »
He took a bottle of sake from the table and waved it in Hajime's direction.
« Can I take this to keep warm ? »
« Ha. » he nodded « I'll see you tomorrow, Souji. »
« See ya ! » he waved with a grin, sliding the shoji.
Haruhi looked at her father and at the shoji and her father again, clenching her fists and grounding her teeth. Without a word, he nodded and she rushed outside.
« Souji ! » she yelled and he turned over, surprised.
« I told you to stay. » he stated.
« I won't. » she said on the same tone, catching up with him « If I am to be your wife, my place is by your side. »
« Not yet. » he smirked.
« It has always been my place. » she whispered « and it will always be. »
Souji looked at her with a smile and shrugged as if all this didn't matter.
« Fine. Do whatever you like. » he said, walking again « since you found me already, let's get somewhere less freezing. »
Haruhi followed him to their little house. It was finished now even if still empty and pretty dusty because of all the work on wood. Not sure it was really warmer than outside since there was no fire and no hibachi, nothing to bring some heat into the rooms, yet, she was happy to be there with him.
« Since the temperature is basically the same, I'm gonna open a window to see the moon and stars. » said Souji with a wink « it'll be more romantic. »
Haruhi smiled and nodded but she knew romantism had nothing to do with it. He wanted to see the position of the stars to know when his time was over. He did as he said and sat back on the wooden floor without tatami yet. She joined him as he opened the bottle of sake and he turned to her.
« Do you have cups ? »
« Ah ! No ! Sorry... I should have thought about it. »
« Nevermind. » he smiled « guess we're drinking from this bottle. »
He brought it to his lips and handed it to her but she politely refused. She couldn't drink sake that way, like a drunk. That wasn't the way she was raised.
« Drink. » he ordered, shaking it before her eyes « You need to keep your body warm. »
« I... I can't drink like... this... » she stuttered, embarrassed.
« Ara, is that so ? » he smiled « then I guess, I'll have to warm you myself. »
He pulled her close to him, between his legs, and held her from behind, making her back lean on his muscular chest. He brought the sake bottle to his lips again and took her chin in his fingers to turn her head and lift it up towards him. He kissed her and as she gasped, she felt the warmth of the alcohol invade her mouth. She swallowed it badly and coughed heavily which made him chuckle.
« So are you gonna drink or am I feeding you this like a baby bird ? » he asked.
She didn't answer but grabbed the bottle and swallowed some sake, the warmth in her chest getting stronger. Anxious, she looked at the stars and Souji did the same.
« Ara... » he commented « time's almost up. »
His hand resting on her waist twitched and he nested his head in her neck, kissing it softly.
« Mind if I kiss you ? » he whispered.
« N... No... »
He smiled and lifted her chin up again. Haruhi felt like she could loose herself in the deep pine forest that were his eyes.
« I'm sorry for everything. » he whispered again « and if I disappear, I hope you'll keep a good memory of me and not the sorrow I caused you. »
« If you go, Souji, I'll follow. » she stated.
« I know, kitten. » he whispered faintly before his lips landed on hers.
She closed her eyes, feeling Souji's hands on her waist and on the back of her neck, his thighs around her and most of all, the hotness of his lips devouring her mouth. He kept kissing her deeply, as if there was no tomorrow, and she was surprised not to feel his hands on her anymore. Something started flowing on her face though and she identified it.
It's sand... Dirt ? No... It's dust !
Dust !
Souji's lips released her mouth and she felt their absence like frozen. She could still feel the dust landing on her face. Abruptly, she opened her eyes and screamed.
« SOUJI ! »