Kakashi gently opened the door of the restaurant, the smell of thick alcohol wafting through its walls immediately weaving themselves into the threads of his mask. The establishment had minimal lighting, obviously relying on the large glass storefront and street lights outside for a majority of its illumination. It was five in the afternoon, the same time the genin had been disembarked over to the third stage of the exams. In the meanwhile, Kakashi had been invited to meet with some of the other jonin teachers as a sort of "celebration". His exposed eye scanned over the room, trying to find his group.
"There he is."
The sound of a familiar voice beckoned his attention, Kakashi turning to find two jonin sitting at a four-seat table.
One was a man with spiky black hair and tan skin. A small, slicked straight beard ran around his face, connecting with his sideburns in a way that almost made it seem like he was wearing headgear. This was Asuma Sarutobi, the second child (and only son) of Hiruzen Sarutobi and leader of team 10. Depending on how much nicotine was in his system, his demeanor could range from sharp as a tack to completely dopey. Considering this restaurant didn't allow smoking indoors, Kakashi guessed that he was currently closer to the former. The other ninja next to him was a girl with long, bushy black hair. She had scarlet red eyes that appeared absolutely striking no matter the lighting they were exposed in. This was Kurenai Yuhi, the sensei of team 8. She was renowned for her genjutsu prowess, being considered one of, if not the best genjutsu user in the leaf.
Kakashi gestured a slight wave to the pair, quickly making his way over to the table and sitting down. Even though he took the side with no one next to him, Kakashi still felt somewhat cramped when he dropped into his seat. The table was small and rectangular, with chairs that had been poorly crafted. Their design took center stage, at the expense of even a baseline of comfortability. The back rests of the seats were made up of a rectangular frame that had been filled in by spiraling tendrils of wood, which made them aesthetically pleasing, but also meant that when you sat against them, it almost felt like you were being pressed against a cookie cutter due to the gaps. Kakashi wasn't too bothered by it however. When Asuma had offered to arrange the restaurant booking, he'd expected it to be cheap because, despite descending from one of the wealthiest families in Konoha as well as being a well-accomplished ninja in his own right, Asuma was cheap as shit. Kakashi respected this, because he was also cheap as shit and would've done the exact same thing.
"How are you doing Kakashi?" Asuma asked, as the other jonin settled himself against the cheese-grater like chairs.
"Alright, could be better." Kakashi said.
The other two reacted as if he'd said "great, feeling peachy" because at this point, it was odder to them if Kakashi didn't introduce himself as "could be better".
"You want a drink?" Kurenai asked, sliding the lily-white drinks menu across to him.
Kakashi quietly thanked her, opening it up and gazing through its contents with an inquisitive look.
"I think I'll have…" He paused flicking through the pages. "Do they have virgin drinks here?"
Kurenai immediately frowned, while Asuma laughed.
"Great, so I'm the only one who's going to be drinking alcohol tonight?" She said.
"Looks like it." Kakashi said back, not taking his eyes off the menu.
"Their one page three by the way. Near the soft drinks" Asuma added quickly, prompting Kakashi to flick over to the specified page.
"Honestly, I have no idea how you can smoke a pack of cigarettes a day but somehow think that abstaining from alcohol every six months is supposed to bring you closer to a "sage diet"." Kurenai commented, looking at the man to her side.
"Well, what's better, smoking and drinking or smoking and not drinking?" Asuma laughed back.
Kurenai looked at him unimpressed.
"Not smoking and not drinking."
"That's fair." Asuma mused, before quickly turning it back around. "Actually, maybe I should really stop calling it a "sage diet". I mean, Jiraiya's probably the "sageiest" sage in the world and he gets fucked up on the regular."
Kakashi snorted, while Kurenai attempted to suppress her own laughter on account of not wanting to validate Asuma's vulgarity. The Sarutobi man giggled to himself, clearly remembering memories long past.
"God, he's a character. Didn't he fill in for Minato one-time Kakashi?"
The copy ninja laughed to himself, placing the menu down upon the table as he looked up at the other two jonin.
"Yep. Spent the whole day in a deck chair doing nothing and then payed us 500 ryo each to tell sensei he did a good job."
Both Kurenai and Asuma let out a chorus of loud laughter, which was intensified by how immediately true they realized the story was. Kurenai's died down first, piercing red eyes looking up at Kakashi with a trace of humor still lingering in them.
"Why didn't you ask him to sub in again? Surely it would've been alright money for a genin?"
"I wish. Obito was just so bad at lying that sensei managed to figure him out. Rin also got him pissed because she tried to gouge him for more, so it's not like he was really in a hurry to teach us again anyway."
Kurenai giggled slightly, whereas Asuma burst into what could only be described as "crying-laughter." It was probably a full thirty seconds before he came to his wits, with traces of amusement still lingering in his tone.
"Ah, man. It feels like everyone in our grade has at least one Jiraiya story. Kurenai, do you remember when- "
"Hello my friends!"
A loud voice boomed across the restraint, drawing the attention of everyone, at least for a second. The jonin group were the only people who's gaze really stayed fixated on the point of noise, the loud yelling coming from a bowl-cutted man dressed in all green. He had large eyebrows that dropped over his eyes, causing his pupils to look like the dot at the end of the exclamation mark. His body language radiated energy, this becoming more and more prominent as he bounced along to his seat, sitting down next to Kakashi with enough force to shake the table.
This was Might Guy. He was the leader of team 13, or, as it had been egotistically dubbed, "Team Guy". He also happened to be the self-proclaimed eternal rival of Kakashi Hatake. This rivalry supposedly stemmed from a variety of factors, but all it really came down to was that Guy had been desperate for a rematch after Kakashi beat him in their first chunin exams. Kakashi had quickly manipulated this desperation to try and satiate his own personal amusement. He'd claimed that if Guy was capable of defeating him in "the hundred-yard challenge", he would grant him a one-on-one rematch in an area of Guy's choosing.
Contrary to its imposing title, the "hundred-yard challenge" was a series of one-hundred completely menial challenges that Kakashi would improvise ninety percent of the time. Each would score one point for their victory, with the ultimate winner coming with who could get one-hundred points first. If Guy won, he would receive his rematch. If Kakashi won, the scores would be reset back to zero. This had happened many times at this point, with the closest Guy ever came being "85-100". The current score was "62-68" in Kakashi's favor.
"Good to see you Asuma!" Guy said, shaking his hand before quickly repeating the same pleasantry with both Kurenai and Kakashi.
Upon shaking the copy ninja's hand however, he quickly became gravely serious.
"Will there be another contest tonight Kakashi? I know you sometimes like to surprise me with them, but I should know whether this will purely be a jolly night spent with friends or if it will need an appliance of my skills!"
"How would he know ahead of time? You do realize he just makes most of them up on the spot." Kurenai said, raising an eyebrow.
Guy thrust his arms in the air, pure luck dictating that he didn't wack Kakashi over the head as he did so.
"No! Sure, maybe a few of them but the "Hundred-yard challenge" is a time-honored tradition that has run in the Hatakes for generations!"
Guy was currently dramatically leaned in so far across the table that he could no longer see Kakashi next to him. That meant he missed Kakashi wincing his eye and shaking his head as to show to Kurenai and Asuma that this was some bullshit story he (ironically) had probably made up on the spot.
"So, does that mean you're the first non-Hatake to take the challenge, Guy?" Asuma asked, attempting to suppress the comicality in his voice.
Guy's expression immediately became stern, as he held his hand up to his heart.
"Yes, and it is an honor!" He said, so serious that he almost became out of breath at just the simple sentence.
He resembled a solider who's memories and understanding of both himself and the world around him was sprawling and wide. The water of the ocean crashed along the rock he was standing on, as the flickering sunset reflected into the crevasses of the crashing waves. It could bring a tear to his eye…
Then Kakashi grabbed him by the shoulder, reminding him that he was in some shitty restaurant that served the kids food and the cheapest mixed drinks you could find. A far cry from his sunlit beach for sure.
"We'll see if it comes up. For now, what are you going to order? Something alcoholic perhaps- "Kakashi asked.
Guy looked offended at even the suggestion, vigorously shaking his head like a dog trying who'd wet his fur.
"No, no, no! Only non-alcoholic drinks for me. Alcohol is a product of the devil I say, invented to extinguish the flames of youth before they can truly prosper!" He exclaimed. "My sensei was the most stoic man in the world, but after a few drinks, it was like he became possessed!"
Kurenai frowned, slumping in her chair as she realized she truly was going to be the only person who drank a non-virgin drink. A few seconds later, a waiter appeared, noticing that the table had finally been filled out. He wrote down their orders for drinks and food, which consisted almost entirely of sharable appetizers and virgin tonics, except for Kurenai who ordered a cosmo. As the waiter walked away, she noticed Asuma mischievously starring at her through the corner of his eye. It was almost like he was mocking her…
"It's my drink." She prematurely defended.
"Yeah, because it's red." Asuma laughed.
Kurenai pouted, not exactly approaching the man's childish scrutiny.
"No, it's because it was the first cocktail I ever had. You should remember, you were there."
"But you only ordered it because it was red."
"Wrong."
"Right! If it was blue you wouldn't have ordered it."
"Wrong again!" Kurenai tried to argue.
Her position was noticeably weak when you took into account that everything from her jonin outfit to her curtains, the walls of her house, her civilian clothes incorporated red in some way. On the flip-side, Asuma only really found it mentionable in the same "bully the girl you like" way that was commonly utilized by fifth graders. It was understandable for kids in that bracket, but Kurenai and Asuma had been in the same genin team and "joined at the hip"-level best friends since early in the academy. Whereas Guy found this display of youth inspiring, Kakashi didn't much care for watching the two bicker like this even if it was harmless.
"How are you liking your team's exam chances?" Kakashi asked, temporarily putting a stop to the pointless argument.
"I imagine all three will be promoted chunin by the end of the exams!" Guy said with a fist bump, somehow managing to convince himself that his kids would be able to pull off a feat that had only been achieve once before (that being every member of a specific team becoming chunin in their first exam).
"Honestly?" Kakashi asked him, hoping that he was not actually deluded enough to believe that.
"No! But I want to project confidence in my beloved team so I will not give an honest answer." Guy replied, strangely transparent in how much he was bullshitting. Kakashi guessed the reason was kind of endearing though.
"If you want an honest answer Kakashi, I think Hinata and Kiba fail this segment while Shino makes it through to the next." Kurenai explained, drawing outrage from Guy.
"Kurenai! Have you lost any assurance in your children?!"
"No, I just think this stage is difficult and the other two aren't as suited to it."
Asuma raised an eyebrow, ceasing the fiddling he'd been doing with his fork.
"Wait, what stage is today?" He asked.
"The forest of death." Kurenai said with a sly smile.
The Sarutobi man's face immediately lit up with a face that outwardly was filled with good humor, there was a deceptive undercurrent that read closer to PTSD than anything funny. Kakashi and Guy both recognized why this was. The story among their generation, becoming forfeit to numerous rumors and urban legends around the nature of the event.
" Oh ho ho." Asuma hummed to himself.
The story went that Asuma had smuggled his first pack of cigarettes in with him as he entered the third stage. Unfortunately, he'd been unaware of how to actually smoke them, but wanted to do so anyway because it was quote-on-quote "badass". After sneaking off to do so in peace, he'd attempted to light the smoke with a fire jutsu, which worked, but also set a little bit too much of the cigarette on fire. This led to Asuma burning the absolute fuck out of his top lip, while also breaking into an insatiable coughing fit because he'd literally inhaled the contents of a flaming stick of nicotine. His team with a one-man disadvantage as Asuma had to be taken off ground for medical assistance. This also meant that he had to retake the exams next year, subbing into Kakashi's team (who had a free spot due to Kakashi passing in his first attempt).
"Even with the war and everything, the most painful moments of my life was sitting in my bed with my charred-ass lip, waiting for dad to come home, cause he was Hokage at that time too, so of course they needed to tell him why his son had somehow managed to burn his throat like that. I remember, it was like two minutes until nine and I heard the door open and then just- "Asuma temporarily paused to scrunch his face into something that more closely resembled Hiruzen. "" Asuma, get your druggie ass down here right fucking now!"
The sound of Asuma's (admittedly quite accurate) impression of his father sent a bolt of laughter through all three of his companions. Guy in particularly was bellowing at the story, to the point that he was nearly slamming his hands against the table.
"Right? And then I didn't even get to do it the next year because they changed the stages around. The forest of death is a bunch of bullshit."
"The forest of death? What a bunch of bullshit." Naruto grumbled, walking along the sunset lit pathways while his team trailed behind him.
The boy's anger came from an actual reason, that being that the next stage would apparently last nearly a week. Considering what the last two stages had been, he was not exactly enthused at the possibility that this one could be similar, but with a massive time sink stuck on top of that.
The last of the more "industrialized" Konoha attributes began to fade away as they moved closer towards the forest. Storefronts gradually gave way to lanes of trees, whereas the occasional concrete sidewalk fully submit to the grasp of the soil. Sasuke stuck to himself, locking his hands in his pockets, while Sakura walked closer towards Naruto.
"They really couldn't have come up with a better name than the forest of death? It's so cliché." She murmured, which caught Sasuke's attention.
"It's basic rule of thumb that if you add "of death" as a suffix to something, that something probably doesn't contain much death, hence why it needs the suffix to spell it out." He explained.
"It's probably just some weird test that deduces how much forest juice we need to drink to be a real ninja or something." Naruto grumbled.
Both of his teammates looked at him with raised eyebrows, not quite following his train of thought.
"Forest juice?" Sakura asked, not having the faintest idea what he was talking about.
Naruto was so engrossed in his own grumbling however, that he didn't even notice the question. It would have been a vast undertaking to try and snap him out of his current rant, with the boy continuing to gaggle on about "dumb names" and "stupid test stuff" but it was entirely doable. As the number of trees obscuring their view of the sky began to lessen along the forest path, a large looming figure came into sight. Its monolithic nature was strongly punctuated by the already-arrived genin who were standing around it, their positioning making it look like a place of worship.
Judging from its hulking mass and the audience of ninja it had gained, the trio presumed this must have been the forest of death. In all honesty, the suffix didn't seem quite so silly anymore. It seemed to take the shape of a circle, but even from far away, it stretched on so wide that none of Team 7 could truly grasp its shape. Large trees sprouted forth from the ground; bark dark with aging but clearly tougher than any of the fairer, weaker trees that surrounded it. Some of these trees reached high off the ground, taller than any building in the village which drew a definitive distinction between the regular forest land and the forest of death. It was like the forest had sprouted from the ground, writhing and flailing like a freshly born baby, before suddenly halting its progress before it started to cause extreme collateral to it's surroundings.
As the trio moved closer towards the area, they found a squad of what appeared to be chunin standing stationary on top of a long, large cut down tree whose base was now being used as an improvised podium. They also noticed a thin mesh gate that ran around the outside of the forest, various different signs having been hung onto it. Bold letters were printed onto those same signs, each containing a myriad of menacing phrases including "Keep out!" Warning: Danger" and "Unsupervised entry restricted for ninjas under jonin rank. You've been warned."
Sasukes' calculating gaze glanced over the forest as they drew closer. It was hard to tell, but from what he could make out of its general perimeter, he guessed the forest had to be at least ten kilometers in length unless it abruptly curved inward on the other side.
"Holy shit, those trees are tall." Naruto said, previously aggressive eyes now wide at the forest.
A small rustling brought the trios attention to their side where they found the sound ninja Sasuke had observed in the exams. His head was covered in tape, leaving only a single eye exposed. Fur had been draped down the spine of his long-sleeved jacket, resembling the quills of a hedgehog. His one visible eye stared down at Naruto for a creepily long amount of time, seconds passing as Team Seven waited for him to say something. He seemingly refused to, staying completely quiet in favor of simply staring a hole into Naruto's soul.
"Uh…you want something dude?" Naruto asked, obviously creeped out at the lanky weirdo who was looming over him.
The sound ninja suddenly sprung to life, piercing eye turning fluid as he held his arms out.
"My name Dosu. Do you know if water where?" He asked, voice heavily accented.
Naruto and Sasuke both looked at him strangely, wondering if this was some weird joke. Sakura's more sociable instincts immediately kicked in in place of the pair, the kunoichi moving herself closer to the sound ninja to try and gauge what he'd said.
"Sorry, I didn't catch that. What did you say?"
His eye immediately filled with a mixture of frustration and embarrassment, arms (and too-long sleeves) flailing up in the air.
"Do you know if there is water?" He asked again.
"Water?" Sakura asked, still trying to discern his context.
"I think he's talking about forest juice." Naruto added unironically.
Sakura snapped back to him with a confused gaze.
"Okay, you've mentioned it two times now. What's forest juice?"
Naruto looked taken aback by the fact that she somehow did not know what forest juice was. He most likely would've told her though, had it not been for the sudden introduction of a feminine voice.
"Dosu. Dosu!" The voice called, drawing the attention of the sound boy.
From the inner-reaches of the crowd, a girl emerged, also from the sound village. Sasuke had also identified her as one of the other sound ninjas he'd seen in the previous stage, the one with the waterfall-like black hair. She quickly ran up the group with obvious concern that only intensified when she realized Dosu was interacting with people.
"Kin!" Dosu called out endearingly.
"Dosu, don't run off like that when you can't even speak the language." She scolded, quickly turning her attention to the other genin. "Sorry, he doesn't speak otsutsukish that well. He's trying to ask if you know where we could get water."
"I saw a stream a little bit down from here, you could probably make it before the deadline." Sakura said, pointing downward to the south of the group.
"Thanks, I appreciate it." Kin said, only for Dosu to run out in front of them and outstretch his arms like cat.
His sleeves hung down a good thirty centimeters from his hands, which could only be a complete sacrifice of autonomy for bullshit fashion in Sasuke's mind.
"Hugs for my friends. Sound culture!" He practically yelled, his response immediately getting a stern rise out of Kin.
"You don't have to hug him." She said.
This immediately triggered the contrarian side of Naruto's mind, and he immediately jumped into Dosu's hug.
"Nah, I'll hug him!"
"Hooray!" Dosu said, beginning to jump around with the other boy in his arms.
This was supremely awkward, not only because Naruto seemed to be doing it just to prove he could, but also because Dosu had a good foot of height on him. This meant Naruto was essentially held captive to the bouncing, in what Sasuke hypothesized would be a brilliant moment to "accidentally" drop him and break a bone. Luckily, Dosu seemed too good-natured to do something like that, with Kin eventually having to pull him away along with her as she marched towards the stream.
"Come on weirdo." She grumbled, while Dosu stayed silent, seemingly going cationic upon being removed from an area with other humans.
A cold, awkward silence transpired between Team 7. The self-consciousness of how simple-minded he'd just looked immediately washed over Naruto, the boys usual loose, carefree posture crumpling into a more tight, anxious pose.
"Wow, he was holding onto you real tight." Sasuke hummed.
"Shut up." Naruto mumbled back.
"Like an octopus." Sakura added, words being backed up by a humorous snort from the Uchiha.
"Hey, you shut up too! I'm just not rude and judgy like you guys, so why wouldn't I hug him?"
"If I asked you for a hug right now, would you hug me?" Sasuke asked, knowing Naruto didn't have the mental fortitude to fight back against this line of attack.
This was proven immediately right, as Naruto's face curled into one of disgust.
"Ew, no!"
"What? Why not, you hugged some random guy from the sound village why won't you hug me?" Sasuke asked, feigning hurt.
"Cause you stink, and I don't want to the grease from your gross greasy hair on me." Naruto replied matter-o-factly.
"What? I don't have greasy hair!"
Sasuke was no longer feigning hurt.
"Do so. Your hair's like a waterfall of grease dude, just layer after layer after layer- "
Sasuke quickly turned to Sakura, not used to Naruto managing to turn the tables on him to this extent.
"I don't have greasy hair, do I Sakura?" He asked.
The girl immediately retreated to the inner-section of her mind, seeking advice for the dilemma she had currently been put in.
What do I say?
Uh I don't know genius; maybe don't tell your crush you think he has disgusting greasy hair.
But it is greasy though-
Oh, it totally fucking is. I know it's probably just gel, but god, it's like every second of his life is spent just stepped out of the shower. It-
Okay, I get it. I can't just tell a lie.
You lie literally every day, dumbass and this is still in the "dropped my homework in a puddle" tier of lies. Just do it.
Wait, how long have I been talking to you?
"See, she's silent!" Naruto shouted with a heavy smile.
Sasuke looked away from his friends with a dejected look, mouth curving into a frown.
"Unbelievable."
"No! I don't think your hair's greasy Sasuke, honestly!" Sakura practically screamed, but it was too little too late.
"Ah ha, you're just trying to be nice! The case is already closed, Sasuke has greasy hair!" Naruto bellowed, cackling the whole way.
The sound of his laugh briefly brought Sasuke back from his dejected banishment, the Uchiha turning to him with a renewed fire in his eyes.
"It's not greasy. Hell, it's not even grease, it's just gel!"
Naruto quite literally hand waved the counterargument away, turning to face the crowd of genin instead of his friend.
"I don't care if it's gel, water or whatever the fuck, grease is- "He paused, train of thought derailing as quickly as it had come.
Luckily for Sasuke, he appeared to have found a new subject of interest in the crowd, namely the silver-haired boy who was hovering around the outskirts of the huddled-up mob. Naruto perched himself up on his tippy-toes, for some reason thinking that would amplify his voice further before yelling out loudly:
" Hey, Kabuto!"
Kabuto's eyes locked with his (along with a half dozen people who wondered what this random thirteen-year-old was yelling about), the spectacled boy offering a large wave and sprightly smile in response. Naruto returned the wave, holding it for an awkward amount of time before Sakura's voice drew his attention.
"You know that guy?" She asked.
"Yeah, that's Kabuto. He helped me at the vender yesterday after my coin got stuck. He seems like a nice dude."
With the mention of a name, a previously withdrawn Sasuke took interest in what Naruto had been talking about.
"Wait, Kabuto Yakushi? The "one-man genin"?" He asked.
"Yeah, you know him?"
"I've heard about him. I don't know what you're doing hanging out with him though Naruto, he's a complete loser."
Even though it was not directed at him, the insult immediately turned Naruto's tone hostile. However, this was barely out of companionship for Kabuto. In all honesty, it was an instinctive reaction to the word which Naruto had heard directed at himself one too many times.
"Hey, don't say that." Naruto barked.
"What?! He is Naruto, it's just the truth."
"Why, cause he failed the chunin exam a bunch of times?" He snarled back, obviously not willing to take the premature answer as an answer at all.
"No. What kind of elitist do you think I am Naruto? I don't care about that." Sasuke responded, the slight offense in his tone immediately making Naruto feel bad. "It's because he's a total deadbeat. His mother runs the Konoha orphanage and his father's a major ambassador to the other Shinobi Nations. He says he wants to be a doctor, but uses the "I'm just completing my exams" excuse to make it so that he doesn't have to do any real work."
"How do you know so much about him?" Naruto asked.
"When I was younger, I heard some of my father's friends talk about him. Saying how disappointed his father was with him and how he was probably going to be an inheritance baby his entire life. He's a total waster Naruto, stay away from him." Sasuke spat, a little bit more aggressive than intended.
Naruto looked down at the ground, trying to hide how the information had changed his view of Kabuto. In all fairness, his view of Kabuto had been based on a minute-long interaction they'd had earlier but he still had a view to begin with. Naruto had identified with the fact that Kabuto refused to give up despite constantly failing the exam a little bit more than he'd like to admit, but it felt good that their was someone else in the world who was pushing onward despite the negative stigma that doing so entailed (Kabuto had a nickname and everything). If that was really just some cover-up for a rich kid not wanting to do anything with his life, then it made him kind of…hate Kabuto.
As soon as that thought popped into his head, the more charitable side of Naruto immediately whiplashed back with double the amount of power. He needed to remember that Sasuke came from a high-up clan himself. The dude had an entire block of land for fucks sake. It would come as no surprise that his father's rich adult friends were just doing what rich adults did: looking down upon someone who they perceived to have tripped up. He was sure that Kabuto had a good reason for failing the exams so many times, even if it was just that he sucked.
BEEEEEEEEEEP!
The unmistakable sound of an airhorn being set off blasted through the area, pounding into the genins eardrums.
"Attention anyone who's not currently present, it's time for the third stage to begin!"
The voice of Anko Mitarashi rang out over the forestland as said woman took her spot on the wood stage. The jonin all lined up in a row behind her, giving her an immediate aire of authority and power in this situation. The stunned silence had knocked most of the genin silent, meaning she had free reign to dictate the rules of the stage. The only real sound came from the harsh footsteps of the genin who had been previously left to go refill their water skins (including Dosu who waved a baggy, long-sleeved wave to Team 7 as Kin came running back with him tow)
"Alright eyes up you little dirtbags, my name is Anko Mitarashi. If you're from Konoha, you probably know me as the organizer of the exams. If you're from one of the other nations, then hi, I'm the organizer of the exams. Today, you'll be- "
Despite her energetic tone, she soon became silenced, seemingly cutting herself off for no reason. That was, until her silence revealed to the rest of the genin what had been causing the problem. A bubble of chatter radiated from a small group of two girls and one boy, apparently oblivious to Anko's control of the situation. Anko blankly stared at them for a few seconds, before realizing that they were far too deep into their conversation for her to interrupt it with usual measures.
"Hey, you." She said, getting only a slight side-eye in response from one of the girls in the group.
That slight side-eye was all she needed though, Anko latching onto the opening like a hungry dog with a bone.
"Yeah, you in the little brown dress. Come here."
The girl, dressed in the aforementioned item, was short. She had light brown hair as well as a headband with a symbol none of Team 7 could identify. Her expression was surprisingly self-assured, still syphoning the collective self-confidence of her team.
"What is it Ms. Mitarashi?" She asked.
Anko stayed silent.
Fwoosh!
Then out of nowhere, a kunai knife came flying at the genins face. It was slow enough so that the girl realized she was in imminent danger, but far too fast for a low-level ninja like her to have any hope of stopping it. Its sharpness looked deadly enough that it was practically splitting sunlight over itself as it ripped through the air, a collective gasp ringing over the crowd as they realized they were about to watch a girl get stabbed in the head. Her face scrunched up, flinching as the knife came inches away from imbedding itself in the bridge of her nose.
And then it suddenly stopped. Anko was now in front of her, grabbing the kunai just before it claimed a fresh kill. The girl blinked a couple of times, at first wondering whether she was actually alive, or that it was just taking a few seconds for the pain to set in. As soon as she realized it was the former, jitters began to visibly run over her back, the girl struggling to stand up completely.
"What's your name?' Anko asked, eyes steely fixated.
"R-R-Rei." She mumbled back.
"Well, Rei. You'd agree that what I did just then was pretty badass right?"
"Y-yes."
"Well, the thing is, I do that when people speak when I'm speaking. It's a bit inconvenient but it's what I do." Anko said.
This was an obvious lie, and Anko was just attempting to make an example out of Rei, but considering a crazy-eyed woman was currently holding a kunai up to her face coupled with the fact she'd thought she was going to die no more than five seconds ago, Anko could have told her name wasn't even Rei and she still would've believed her.
"Now the thing is, I'm not actually that cool. It's actually pretty hard for me to do stuff that's that cool. Who says that if you talk again, I'll be able to catch the next one?"
There were a few seconds of silence before Rei gently nodded, mumbling something incoherently as she walked back to her group at the pace of a sloth.
"That's right, you better shut the fuck up." Anko growled, climbing back onto the exam stage.
Her bright grin quickly returned, it's reappearance probably having something to do with the collective quiet that had suddenly washed over the genins.
"Alright, let's get back on track here. This is the third stage of the exam, The Forest of Death. Each team will be given a scroll and then randomly placed around the perimeter of the forest. There are two types of scrolls: heaven and earth. If you are to pass this stage, you must steal another team's scroll so you have both and take them to the tower located in the center of the forest. This test last five days and if you are not at the center tower by then, you fail, even if you've managed to retrieve both scrolls."
Sasuke glanced over at the rest of the crowd. Assuming that each team didn't get strategically greedy and aimed to steal only one scroll, that still meant the herd was being thinned by half.
"That being said, the scrolls are not the only thing you need to worry about. Unless you manage to make it to the center of the forest in record time, you will need to provide your own food, water and shelter for that five-day period. If you find yourself suffering from starvation, you will be given a flare seal that you can set off and receive immediate jonin assistance. However, setting this flare off will be considered a fail. Are we clear?"
No one said anything, as they didn't want to have a kunai thrown in their face.
"Okay, good. Let's get started then. Form a line of threes along the stage and a jonin will give you your flare seal before blindfolding you and escorting you to your starting location."
After speaking she quickly retrieved a slip of paper, which appeared to be a script judging by how she held it up.
"Also, please keep in mind that by not willingly failing at this point, any physical or psychological damage you suffer in The Forest of Death is the responsibility of you yourself, and not the Village of Konoha or any of the jonin currently supervising you. The mortality rate that comes with the chunin exams has been clearly outlined to your sensei and your legal guardians, and accepted by you due to your presence currently." Anko read in clear monotone.
Her eyes suddenly squinted, the woman holding the piece of paper up high to try and read a bit of text that had was most likely written in fine print.
"but…but forage? What's this say? but…Oh! But don't forget to enjoy yourself and the company of your teammates!" She enthusiastically said.
The crowd did not return her energy.
A sharp puff of smoke aross from the end of the Hokage's pipe, floating in the air for a few seconds before fading out into nothing. There were some days his back started acting up, or his cough got the best of him, and he wondered why he still clung to this job after all these years. The answer was always revitalized in his head when he saw the glory of the Konoha sunset bathing the village in an emboldened amber glow. Soon enough, the night would come alive, drowning the setting light in a serenade of street lanterns and cold winds. Truly, there was no better a sight then this…
"Hyuck!" He exhaled after gulping a bit too much smoke from his pipe.
Okay, maybe it was the responsibility of the job that kept him here instead of some frivolous view. A sharp knock came at his door just seconds after, the familiar cadence indicating that it was obviously Mao.
"Come in." He murmured; words being swiftly followed by the creaking of the door.
"Lord Hokage, advisor Shimura wishes to speak with you at his home. I can't give you directions as he's had it redacted from any and all public records, so- "
"Mao.' Hiruzen grunted, standing up from the table. "I know where it is. Arrange for an upper-level ANBU detail."
"Just for a walk, my lord?" Mao asked, raising an eyebrow.
A stern gaze from Hiruzen answered the question.
"Alright, okay- "Mao said, exiting the room to do as ordered.
Hiruzen sighed upon hearing the door shut, walking over to a nearby coat rack and retrieving a warm jacket. It was a cold night after all and he was but a frail old man.
Fifteen minutes later, and Hiruzen found himself trudging through a forest while ANBU trailed him through the trees. The ninjas circled around a tight formation, so quiet that the rustles of their feet were functionally identical to the blowing of the wind. Speaking of which, it really was a cold one tonight, worse because Danzo had decided to live in a secluded area that meant he'd have to walk twenty minutes to even see the first glimpse of modern civilization. It was somewhat understandable, Danzo was a secretive man so he kept to a secretive place, but it didn't mean that Hiruzen particularly liked plodding around with the wind in his face for what felt like an hour. Five minutes later, and he caught the first glimpse of his house.
It was an old but large forest cabin, who's windows were stained as to not reveal the contents inside. Vines of vegetation and strands of flora clung to the old wood it was composed of, making the whole house look aged. This was not unexpected. Danzo didn't fancy playing housekeeper. In fact, he probably didn't even fancy a housekeeper in the first place. All he probably cared about was that his home kept him safe and secure in most events, which, by a technicality, a massive cabin in the middle of nowhere probably did. Hiruzen grumbled to himself as he walked forwards, only for a sharp voice to stop him in his tracks.
"Lord Hokage, wait." A female voice called out, drawing his attention to an ANBU who was perched on the branch above him. "There's traps in your path. Snake traps, explosive tags and unidentified fujinjutsu seals. We'll have to try and diffuse it before you can continue."
Hiruzen looked up at her with a blank face, before continuing to walk forward. A rush of panic shot through her system, as she watched him absent-mindedly trigger a battering ram trap. Was he really that old that he couldn't hear properly anymore? Maybe it was the wind but still…
The two wood pillars swung forward, attached to string. They were sharpened at their edges as well as massive in their size. If they somehow didn't kill Hiruzen by impaling him, they'd crush him with both their mass and force of movement. The ANBU's life flashed before her eyes as she tried to figure out what she could do. The two sticks of wood were hurtling at him with the force of a truck, covering both left and right. They'd sandwich him into a pulp if she didn't do something quickly.
"Lord Hokage, look out!" She cried, beginning to move towards his direction.
Hiruzen still refused to look at the two hurtling beams of death that were swinging at him. Instead, he calmly (but quickly) ran through his hand signs, not even stopping his stride to do so. With a gentle stretch of his hands, he sent two ferociously sharpened slices of wind shooting outward to his sides. They cut through the string of the battering rams like they were made of butter, the simple jutsu completely halting any momentum they once had. What had just looked like two weapons that were sure to bag a new body, now gently fell to the ground behind Hiruzen with the old man not even acknowledging their presence. The ANBU looked at each other from the treetops, relief clear even through the obstruction of their masks.
"Danzo, disable your bullshit system before I wreck the rest of it!" He yelled.
Soon enough, the sensory ANBU who had been monitoring the defense system felt as the chakra that had powered it completely faded away. A few seconds later, the door of the hose swung open, Danzo stepping out in the same white robe he wore all the time. Even through the bandages on his face, there was a clear irritation in his features.
"You really could have done that before you decided to destroy my meticulous handiwork." Danzo said, cross.
"You know I don't like waiting." Hiruzen said, reaching the wide but short staircase that stood as the entrance of Danzo's home.
"Have you forgotten that patience is one of the most important aspects of being a leader?"
Hiruzen looked at him with an unsympathetic tepidness. Danzo was so used to his gaze being an exasperated crassness that seeing the facial features that defined the Third's younger days caught him slightly off-guard.
"The virtues of a patient man have no bearing on a god of shinobi. Now, mind telling me why you've called me out here?"
"It's not for no reason, I assure you Hiruzen." A quickly recovering Danzo said, before entering inside and leaving the door open.
With anyone else, Hiruzen would take this as a que to come inside, but with Danzo, he immediately recognized it as the man just retrieving something. This would prove to be correct as just seconds later, Danzo reemerged holding a large black body bag. Hiruzen immediately frowned as he was led back down onto the forest floor.
The bag was attentively placed down against the dirt, Danzo quickly unzipping it with a stern expression. The frown the Hokage had been wearing further intensified as he noticed the state of the body. It was a man, probably not much older than twenty-five although due to his coloration. His light skin had begun to shrivel into a pale white, creating a similar sensation to what looked like the dead skin on your foot. Several veins of this rain across his face, each becoming more and more rough and deep in color. What Hiruzen noticed in particular though, was a small bit of writing underneath his eye. In sharp black ink, it read:
Are you impressed sensei?
"He was found like this around the border four days ago now and he just got in a few hours back. I've had a medic-nin run an autopsy on his body, but he couldn't find much of anything." Danzo elucidated, crouching down as he unwrapped the corpse from its casing.
"Do we have a time or cause of death?" Hiruzen asked, not taking his eyes of the body.
"The bodies been genetically altered far too much for us to properly figure this out. A group of hunters says they found him in a spot he definitely hadn't been the day before. His cause of death appeared to be snake bite."
Hiruzen's brow furrowed.
"Orochimaru's work. I presume calling card protocol picked this up?"
"Yes. I presume you'd want to send ANBU squad out near the borders?" Danzo asked.
Hiruzen stayed silent for a bit, deep in thought. This was a very dangerous situation, and not something that could be handled by simply throwing a number of forces at it.
"If we assume the bodies' approaching five or six days old, he would've already bypassed most border security. What is the status on Itachi Uchiha and his companion?"
"There hasn't been a sighting of any black-cloaked man who matched Itachi's description since the Iwa incident. I don't think they're currently a threat to our internal defense."
Hiruzen put a finger on his chin, stroking it thoughtfully before turning to Danzo with a stern gaze.
"Send multiple patrols around the country. Orochimaru is not to enter Konoha under any circumstances. Am I clear?"
"As you wish." Danzo nodded, zipping up the body bag and standing back upright.
If their thesis was correct, they be able to gauge his location quickly. After all, how much ground could one man cover in six days? The answer to this question should really have been doubled, but they didn't know that. Sure, they knew that the body had been altered in some way, but to the extent of what had actually happened? There was no gauging that. See, when you were extremely proficient with ninjutsu and sealing, there was a lot of tricks you could pull, but while to you, they may have just been tricks, to others unaware, they could become reality.
The body Hiruzen and Danzo were currently looking at was three and a half weeks old.