This chapter goes out to Eve – without whom this chapter would not have been nearly as good.

WARNING: homophobia

Several officers stood in the locker room in towels when Jane entered. She went straight for her locker, if only to ignore the constant stares and lewd comments that had been coming her way since Danny outed her. Her cell rang out for the fourth time that morning, yet the second she answered there was nobody there.

"Hey, Rizzoli." She turned to Officer Peabody and dropped her cell onto the bench. The smirk on his face told her all she needed to know. She was about to turn around again when he pulled open his towel and the other officers around him did the same. "We know how much you dykes love a good strap on."

She closed her eyes and turned around. The officers came closer, their towels on the floor as they gyrated their hips. She tried to push the image of them wearing strap ons out of her brain, but it was difficult to rid herself of the memory.

"Fuck off, you morons," she shouted, opening her locker. It jammed, so she tugged it harder and it finally swung open. She jumped as dozens of dildos and other assorted sex toys tumbled out and onto the floor at her feet. The group erupted in laughter. Jane felt her emotions reach the surface. She opened her mouth to shout at them again, but Robin's voice appeared out of nowhere.

"You think you're big and clever because you know how to buy a fucking dildo?" She wrapped an arm around Jane. Succumbing to her comfort, Jane walked towards the showers, with Robin at her side. "You're a bunch of buffoons. You act like children then expect to be treated like men. No wonder most of you are fucking single. Who the hell would wanna sleep with you?"

The smiles on their faces disappeared. Robin pushed her into the shower room and shut the door behind them. Jane pulled her into her arms and let her emotions escape against her shoulder.

"I can't do this much longer," Jane whispered, her tears soaking Robin's shirt. "It's too much."

Robin rubbed her hand across her back. "You are stronger than you know. You're better than every single one of those homophobic asses combined. Don't let them break you."

"It's hard." Jane sighed and leaned against the wall. "Everything feels so fucking difficult right now."

"Don't be like that."

"Like what?"

"You're not acting like yourself. You need to show them who is boss. Not lie down and let them whack you on the butt. Danny started this; Danny should pay."

"I hurt him."

"So?" She shrugged. "Danny is a fucking ass. He outed you to everyone, he shouldn't get away with treating you like that. Do you really think Peabody and Hanson and all of them are smart enough to come up with that nonsense?"

Jane rolled her eyes. "Do you really think Danny is?"

"No, but I think he's the ringleader in all of this." She gripped her shoulders and stared into her eyes. "Don't let them beat you down. Fight back. Go above them. Report their homophobic asses. The rules have changed, Jane, they can't treat you like that and get away with it."

"You're right." Jane walked over to the sink and washed her hands and faces. "You're fucking right. I'm gonna go out there and report them."

Before she could move, Danny's voice travelled through the walls. She gritted her teeth. The last thing she really wanted was to face Danny again. The locker room was relatively safe, she knew that he wouldn't touch her there, but that didn't mean that she wasn't petrified of what he might do next.

"Better idea," she said, drying off her hands and swinging the door open. She marched up to Danny, her arms folded across her chest. "Oi. I wanna talk to you."

"Well, if it isn't my lying cheating lesbian fiancée." He glanced at the officers around them – now fully clothed – and they started laughing.

"You sure like to make people feel small, don't you, Daniel?" She closed the gap and tapped him on the cheek. He gritted his teeth but didn't move back. She licked her lips and her voice rose. "The difference between you and me, though, Danny boy, is that I am actually being satisfied in the bedroom. Something you will never understand."

"You're talking shit," he said, thrusting his chest out. "We had mindblowing sex."

"Yeah…no…you had mindblowing sex," Jane said, grinning. "I had to finish myself off every single fucking time. Now I'm with a woman, she does it all for me. She understands how to please a woman, and you, you understand how to please yourself. You wouldn't know a vagina from a pencil sharpener."

The crowd of officers doubled over in laughter. Danny's cheeks reddened. His eyes dashed back and forth between Jane and the group.

"Not so big now, are you?" Jane asked, glancing down. "Then again, you never were."

She looped an arm around Robin's and headed for the exit as the officers' laughter grew louder.

X

The restaurant was busy when Jane walked in. The noise level was higher than she would have liked, and she could barely hear herself think as she took a seat opposite Maura. They sat in silence for a few minutes, sipping their drinks as the waiter went off to place their order with the kitchen.

"I just wanna be here for you," Jane said, resting her hand on top of Maura's on the table. "That's all I want to do. Whatever is going on, you can talk to me."

Maura lowered her gaze and turned her hand over, interlinking her fingers with Jane's. "I don't know how to talk to people. I've lived my life hiding who I am. When I was five years old, I started telling people that my dad was a doctor. It was easier that way. They respected doctors, I understood that very quickly. But they didn't respect criminals. I don't know how to be myself around other people."

Jane gave her hand a squeeze. "I already know who you are, Maura."

"Some days I want to believe that's enough."

"You're always enough," Jane said, taking a sip of her beer. She didn't let go of Maura's hand.

"I don't feel like I am."

"Maur," Jane said. She leaned forward and rested her hand on her cheek. "Do you really think I would walk away now? After all this time? After everything we've been through? Haven't I proven myself enough?"

She stared down at their fingers still linked on the table. "I wish it was. I'm sorry that I am so broken."

"You're not broken." Jane kissed her briefly, then sat back down in her seat. "I understand you have reasons for being so closed. I don't always find it easy to talk, either. But I'm trying to be better." She sighed. "Today a bunch of guys at work put on strap ons and paraded around like a bunch of morons. They filled my locker with dildos. Then I humiliated Danny in front of everyone, which made me feel so much better, but I still cried in the showers, and all I wanted to do was call you and tell you what happened. I didn't know how much I wanted to be with you until you pulled away. Now I don't know how to bridge the gap there is between us."

"Are you okay?" Maura gripped her hand. "You should have called."

Cutting through the moment, Jane's cell lit up on the table. She stared down at the screen: No Caller ID. She pressed the answer button and held the phone to her ear. "Hello?" All she could hear was someone breathing. "Hello? Is somebody there?" She narrowed her eyes. "Danny?"

The phone went dead. Jane sighed and dropped her cell phone onto the table. "I keep getting silent calls. I think it's Danny being a jerk."

"He doesn't seem to understand the word no, does he?"

"No, he doesn't." Jane gripped Maura's hand. "I didn't know that I could call you, Maura. You've not answered any time I tried the last few days."

Maura sighed and closed her eyes. She breathed a couple of times before fixing her gaze on Jane's. "Chelsea found my things. She guessed that my father is who he is. I didn't know what to do. I still don't. She hates me, Jane. She went out last night for her anniversary dinner with Alex and I haven't seen her since."

"Why didn't you call me last night?"

"You were working."

"I would have called you back on my break." Jane pulled her chair around to the other side of the table, edging closer. Her knees collided with Maura's, but that only made her feel better. She cupped her cheeks and kissed her. "This is how we move forward. Okay? By sharing things that matter."

"I've never done this before," Maura said, resting her head against Jane's shoulder. "Being open, it scares me."

Jane ran her hand across Maura's back and pulled her in close. "I know. But if we do it together, it will get easier. I promise."

X

The car was cramped. Jane was almost certain that she'd grown a few more inches since the last time she'd had sex in a car. Maura's hands trailed across her skin. A fire burned inside of her and yet every time she moved, she banged her head against the window or the roof.

"For fuck's sake," Jane shouted as she bumped her head for the fourth time. She sat back against her heels. "Can't we just go back to yours?"

"No. Chelsea might be there."

"So?" Jane asked, resting her hands on Maura's hips. "I'll be there to play referee."

"I don't want to," Maura said, her tone harsher than Jane expected. She narrowed her eyes. Maura sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm tired. I didn't sleep well after Chelsea left. I want to do this."

Jane pulled her close and kissed her, smacking her head against the roof. She let out a groan. "It's not gonna work. I'm too tall."

"I don't know what else to suggest," Maura said. "Unless we go back to your…"

"No." Jane groaned. "That place has too many bad memories right now, besides, I don't know what Danny's gonna do. I probably have another dozen missed calls." She unlocked the door and tugged Maura's hand. They climbed out onto the sidewalk. Jane searched the street around them, then rounded a corner. She pulled her down an alleyway. "Will here do?"

"You want to have sex in an alley?" Maura asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Sure. Why not? Better than a car."

"Is it?"

"No." Jane groaned again and leaned her head against Maura's shoulder. She snaked her arms around her waist and pulled her in close. "God, I'm so horny."

"Motel room?"

Jane pulled back, holding her at arm's length. "You serious?" Maura shrugged. "We both have fucking apartments and we're gonna book ourselves into a motel to have sex?"

"Why not?"

Staring into her eyes, Jane could see the passion mirrored back at her. She pulled her close against her and growled against Maura's ear. "I don't wanna go to a motel. I don't wanna have sex in a car or an alley. Please can we go back to yours?"

Maura took her cell phone from her purse and typed out a quick message. A moment later a response flashed on the screen. "Chelsea's at the apartment."

Jane groaned. "Is this it then? Should we say goodnight?"

"I think we're going to have to," Maura said, resting her hand on Jane's cheek.

They kissed. Jane moved her hips forward as she deepened the kiss. Her whole body responded to the touch. A moan escaped her lips and she sighed heavily. "I hate how much I want you right now."

"I'm sorry. We'll have the apartment to ourselves again, eventually."

"Promise?" Jane asked, taking her cell from her pocket and turning it back on. The second the screen lit up; her cell started ringing.

Maura kissed her briefly. "I promise."

"Just a second," Jane said, gritting her teeth. She answered the call. "Why the fuck do you keep calling and not saying anything?"

"Jane?"

A lump formed in the back of her throat. She closed her eyes. "Ma?"

"Janie, I'm so sorry," Angela whispered.

"Yeah, me too." She hung up the phone and turned it off again. "Guess Danny's not the only one calling me."