Oswald entered the small rather empty apartment and tossed the key onto the side table. Even though he's been here a few times it felt strange being here still. More so now that he was here alone.

He yawned as he moved into Murphy's bedroom, the only room that was decently furnished, and took off his jacket. He placed it into the closet and took his shirt and vest off as well. Shirtless, he laid down on his stomach on the bed, a few angry red streaks across his back were raised up.

Murphy arrived back at the apartment a couple of hours later, making the walk back in record time once his shift had ended. Seeing a light on in the bedroom, he walked in to find Oswald lying facedown on the bed. His pants were still on, but Murphy could already see a few marks from the riding crop on his back, standing out in sharp relief against his pale skin. "Hey," he said quietly, going over and sitting down on the bed next to him. "How are you feeling?"

Oswald was starting to fall asleep by the time he heard Murphy come in and looked back at him from where he lay on the bed. "Tired." He said glancing at the clock that now said two AM.

"I can't imagine why," Murphy said with a slightly sad smile, running his hand through Oswald's hair affectionately. "Do you mind if I take a look at the marks? Check to see if any of them are bleeding or anything?"

Oswald awkwardly shifted off the bed and took his pants off. He knew a few of them were bleeding and didn't want them to get infected. They would need to be looked after. "Knock yourself out." He said, hissing as he pulled his underwear away, a few parts sticking to the open wounds with dried blood.

Murphy winced. It was worse than he'd thought. Once again, he felt a surge of anger for what Miss. Mooney had done to Oswald. Of course she'd overdone it. And of course she hadn't been bothered to have someone look after him afterwards. "Hang on," he said quietly. "I'll get the first aid kit." That had been another purchase he'd made immediately after moving here. Given their work environment and Oswald's relentlessly shitty luck, it was an absolute necessity. He quickly went to retrieve it from the bathroom cabinet and returned, sitting on the bed next to Oswald again as he set about gently cleaning the cuts.

"Do you think you can find an excuse to stay over tonight?" he asked. "I mean, since you're tired and…" And after what had happened, Murphy wouldn't feel right if he wasn't near him. Though he wasn't sure Oswald felt the same about it. He'd been trying pretty hard to push Murphy away earlier.

"I already called my mom and told her I was working a double shift to work inventory and won't be home until morning. If she asks why I didn't come home in the morning I'll just say I came here to sleep a few hours ..." He said with a slight shrug, his face burning red with embarrassment.

Murphy nodded. "Sounds convincing enough," he said, relieved that they were on the same page, and that he knew Oswald would be safe here with him tonight. He continued tending to Oswald's cuts,then asked: "How are your wrists?"

Oswald hissed as he touched the soft cloth to a particularly nasty cut. "They're fine." He said placing his hands under his head to hide them and turned away from Murphy. He hated that he was here ... He should have just went home. He didn't deserve this ...

"Oswald," Murphy sighed as he finished applying neosporin to the cuts on Oswald's backside. "You're hiding your hands. You don't have to play that game with me. Just let me see, okay?"

Oswald closed his eyes. "Just go away ... I appreciate you helping me but I broke up with you remember? You don't have to be nice to me anymore."

Murphy froze. "That…" He shook his head. His voice shook with emotion. "That 'you deserve better' bullshit doesn't count. If you want to break up with me, you can look me in the eyes and tell me you don't want me anymore. But you don't get to decide what's best for me, and you can't make me stop caring about you."

Oswald moved gingerly to sit up and looked straight at Murphy. It was what was best for him ... Oswald was destructive to everything around him ... He ruined everything he touched ... "I don't ..." He hesitated. He wanted Murphy more than anything ... But after what he did ... After he begged Mooney to ... And then to ask Murphy to tend to his resulting wounds. He felt disgusting. "I don't want you." He said standing up and walking towards his pants. It was a mistake coming here.

Murphy stared up at him for a moment, stunned. "Oswald …" he said, barely above a whisper, not quite trusting his voice. Already, he wasn't blinking back the tears quite fast enough. "Wait. Please." He stood up as if to go after him … but what was that going to accomplish? It wasn't as if he could stop him from leaving. But he couldn't stand the thought of losing him now, not like this, he couldn't bear to be alone again. "Just stay and rest, at least. I … I won't bother you if that's what you want, but … you shouldn't be walking home at this hour when you're hurt."

Oswald had his pants on and was grabbing his shirt pulling it over his head when Murphy managed to find his words. He was facing away from him, his hands clenched at his sides. Why did Murphy have to make this so goddamn difficult?

He stared down at the ground frozen on the spot, tears falling down the tip of his sharp nose and landing on the floor in front of him. "I can't ..." He said practically choking out the words.

"Please," Murphy repeated, tears trailing down his face. "Just … I just need to know you're okay." The words sounded stupid coming out of his mouth. He knew Oswald could take care of himself, but … he was terrified of letting Oswald walk out that door.

Oswald was silent for a moment before he spoke quietly. "Are you as broken as I am?" He asked his voice soft and confused. "After everything I've done to you ... You'd still beg me to stay?" He asked turning towards him finally. "Why?"

"Why?" Murphy looked back at Oswald, eyes wide with disbelief. "Can't you tell I like being around you? You … You took me in when I was homeless. You confided in me. You took a chance and let me into your life. You forgave me for lying to you about my identity. You made me stop feeling so alone. Why wouldn't I want you to stay? I thought… I thought we were both happy together."

"I thought so too ... But apparently I'm too broken to keep anything ..." He said quietly. "I can't stay Murphy." He said grabbing his jacket and moving towards the door.

"But why?" Murphy barely managed to choke out, his eyes pleading. "I don't understand."

"Because if I don't leave now …" Oswald paused staring at the floor again, his back to Murphy. "I won't be able to." He said making his way into the living room towards the front door.

"Then don't," Murphy said, desperation in his voice, following after him. "Why shouldn't we continue being happy together for as long as we possibly can? If you don't really want to leave, then just … just don't."

"I'm going to hurt you Murphy ..." Oswald said. "It's inevitable ... Let's face it I have already." He said. "If I actually cared about you, I wouldn't have done what I did tonight … and I most certainly would not have made you clean up the mess."

"No," Murphy shook his head. "You didn't make me do anything; I offered, remember? You came to me because you knew I was here for you. And if you didn't care, you wouldn't be so worried about hurting me … But … you're not doing me any favours by leaving." Being left alone would hurt so much more. He reached out and gently touched Oswald's shoulder. "Please stay," he whispered.

He couldn't understand it … He couldn't understand why Murphy just wouldn't let him leave. He was silent for a few moments before he rubbed the tears away from his face with his sleeve, a bit falling onto his wrist, making the wounds there sting anew.

"Okay." He whispered. No … No he had to leave. But … He couldn't say no to him. Not when he kept coming after him. Not when he wanted him to stay.

Murphy let out a heavy sigh of relief, feeling as if an unbearable tightness in his chest had just released, and he could breathe more easily again. "Thank you," he murmured, going around to face Oswald and wrapping his arms around him, careful to avoid any of Oswald's wounds. His face was still wet with tears as he held him.

Oswald hissed slightly as Murphy accidentally touched his wrist but ignored it, allowing Murphy to hold him. "I still don't understand ..." He said quietly.

Murphy heard Oswald hiss, and winced in response. "Sorry," he muttered. He pulled away just enough to look down at Oswald. "What don't you understand?" he asked.

"Why you're trying so hard ..." He said hiding his face in Murphy's shirt.

"Because you still don't seem to understand how important you are to me," Murphy said, pained that Oswald still thought so little of himself, no matter what he did. "So I have to keep trying until you do." And then continue trying after that, so that Oswald didn't get a chance to forget.

Oswald shook his head and pulled away from Murphy. "One day something will happen ... This is going to end badly. I know it. I can see it." He said. "We already don't have the stablest of relationships ... How long do you think this will last before you change your mind, or find someone better, prettier, less damaged ..."

"I don't want anyone else," Murphy said, having to blink back tears all over again. "Because no one else would be you . If… if you had any idea how miserable I was during that time you weren't talking to me, how much it hurt knowing that I might have lost you for good…" They hadn't really spoken about that period of time since then, not really. But Murphy still feared going back to that. "The only thing keeping me going was planning out how I was going to make it up to you. I just… I hate the thought of being without you again. If anyone leaves, it won't be me."

"Then you're in for a rough relationship ..." He said. "I'm not always a nice person. I'm sneaky and underhanded ... I don't always tell the truth ..." Was he still trying to push him away? Oswald didn't even know anymore. Was he testing him? To see if he'd walk away?

"I kind of noticed that," Murphy said, with a slight wince of a smile. "But … you always seem to at least tell the truth to me. Even when it's not pretty. So …" he looked back into Oswald's striking eyes. "Do you think you can continue being honest with me? I don't care who else you lie to. Just … not me, okay?"

"I ... I can't promise that." He said quietly. He even lied to his mother and he cared more about her than anyone else. If he couldn't be honest with her, how could he be honest with Murphy?

Murphy looked upset by that, but what could he really say on the matter? Hadn't he been the first one in this relationship to lie? And anyway, Oswald had already told him the truth about some seriously incriminating things. Somehow, it just didn't seem likely that he was going to start lying to Murphy about anything important now. "Okay," he said reluctantly. "I guess I can live with that."

Oswald sighed. Murphy was okay with that? How could that be okay? "Can we go to sleep?" Oswald asked. "I'm tired."

Murphy nodded. "Yeah," he said, keeping his worries to himself for now. Oswald was staying; he could deal with the rest later. "Sleep sounds good right now."

Oswald nodded, unable to look up at Murphy. He placed his jacket back on the chair where it was before and headed back into the bedroom. He paused and looked back at Murphy. "I'm sorry ..." He said looking back down at the floor again.

Murphy shook his head as he followed Oswald into the bedroom. "You thought leaving was the right thing to do," he said, laying a gentle hand on Oswald's shoulder. "It's okay." Though he knew that wasn't the only thing Oswald was probably sorry about… but so much of what had happened tonight had been beyond Oswald's control that, no matter how much it hurt, Murphy really couldn't blame him for anything. Tonight had been painful for both of them.

"No I mean ..." He paused and shook his head slowly removing his clothing. The material of his pants was uncomfortable and felt better already as he removed it. "Nevermind." He said shaking his head slightly.

"I know what you mean," Murphy said quietly. "But…" He shook his head. "I don't feel any differently about you." He started unbuttoning his shirt. "Let's just get some rest, okay?"

Oswald nodded and crawled into bed next to Murphy.