Paralyzed
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A/N-thank you very much to everyone who kindly reviewed the last chapter.
Chapter Thirty-Nine-A Revealing Conversation
The nightmare was always the same…
Rey was paralyzed, frozen in place as she observed Ben, injured, his ankle twisted, ribs broken, ascend from the pit. Strange blue flashes surrounded him as he staggered, pain and dizziness sent him tumbling to the ground. Rey was forced to continue to watch in silent agony as through sheer force of will he managed to rise, limping forward until he reached the broken body lying crumpled on the ground. The sight of seeing her own body lying motionless on the floor filled her chest with pain far greater than anything she had ever felt before.
Ben was crouched beside her fallen body now. Rey saw him wrap his arms around her limp form, and pull her onto his lap. At first glance, she appeared at ease, as though she were sleeping, but her barren eyes were lifeless and dull. Rey felt tears glaze over her eyes as she watched Ben pull her to his chest and hug her to himself for a moment. His utter despair and grief were etched deep in his eyes and on his face and it was more than she could bear….
"Ben!" Rey began to thrash around in her sleep. "Ben!"
"Rey."
"Ben!"
"I'm here. I'm right here. You need to wake up, sweetheart."
"Ben?" Rey felt confused, disorientated.
"Open your eyes, Rey."
Rey shook her head mutely, struggling to open her heavy lids, which felt like they had lead weights attached to them. She felt Ben's soft lips brush her forehead while he caressed her cheek with gentle fingers. "Its just a bad dream, sweetheart. That's all." He projected into her mind as he guided her back to sentience.
"Oh, Ben." Rey sucked in a deep, shuddering breath as she finally managed to shake off the remnants of the wicked nightmare and open her eyes. "Did you see?"
"I saw." Ben continued to stroke her flushed cheek. He kissed her and the world fell away like it always did, until there was nothing left but the two of them. The comforting glow of their bond swirled around them like a warm blanket. Rey opened herself up to him, her trembling fingers sinking into his thick hair as she yanked him closer, wanting to drown in him forever. When he pulled back to look at her face, she clung to him, not willing to let him go just yet. "It was just a bad dream, Rey." He tried to soothe her.
"You said you saw…." Rey whispered in despair.
"It was only a dream, Rey. It doesn't mean anything. Just like all those other dreams you've had in the past…."
"This one is different. Ben, it's a sign. Something…"
Ben cut her off with a fierce kiss. Rey hardly had a moment to react before he pressed his tongue to the seam of her lips and, at her grant of access, delved inside her mouth. Her arms reached up and tangled around his neck. In an instant she had pulled away and arched up into his broad chest, moaning in the contact of his body heat against her own, before she drew back into his lips.
"It was only a dream. It's not some kind of bad omen. Nothing is going to happen to you because I won't allow it." Ben stated firmly between kisses.
"But…."
"No buts, Rey." Ben's hand drifted to her hip. It settled there and pulled her closer. His breathing quickened as did hers. He began nuzzling her neck with delicate kisses. "You've dreamed of so many things. Like that fight you dreamed we had on the wreck of the death star in Kef Bir."
"I stabbed you." Rey gasped as her body began to tremble uncontrollably at the memory.
"You never stabbed me because it never happened." Ben moved up her body, his head angled to one side as his lips came closer and closer to hers.
"It felt so real." Rey whispered as their breaths mingled. Her heart fluttered inside her chest as Ben drew her into the comforting circle of his arms. "Oh, Ben, what is wrong with me?"
"Nothing." Ben said soothingly as he placed one hand over the gentle curve of her rounded abdomen. "You're just a little emotional right now."
"You really think that's all it is?" Rey sounded so young and afraid that it tore at Ben's heart. He leaned in and kissed her again. Rey loved the feel of his mouth so warm against her own, the caress of his lips softer than she could have imagined. She opened her mouth with a low moan as he she let him kiss all her fears away.
The next day Rey was clinging to him but for a different reason this time. He was leaving her. Not because he wanted to, but because he had to. They were running low on supplies so he and Poe had come to the difficult decision for the two of them to leave Echo base together and go off world in search of some. Rey knew it was imperative that he go, but having to say goodbye hurt all the same. The others withdrew to give them some privacy.
"I'll be back before you even have a chance to miss me." Ben said to her telepathically.
"I already do and you haven't even left yet." Rey answered as she buried her face against his broad chest in order to hide her tears. She was tired of being so hyper emotional. A day didn't go by without her crying about something.
"I won't really be gone. I'll still be with you. You can talk to me anytime." Ben reminded her as he slipped his hands underneath her thick padded jacket just so he could feel her properly. Ah, there she was. He pulled her flush against him and kissed her soundly, not really caring that they had an audience. It was with great reluctance that he let her go. His gaze remained fixed on her as he joined Poe. "I love you."
"Love you, too." Rey's heart was in her eyes as she watched him leave. She felt Rose come up beside her and give her a sympathetic smile. She sniffed back her tears and returned her smile, doing her best to appear brave.
"I'm always here if you need company." Rose offered.
The young engineer's kindness overwhelmed Rey and she found herself hugging Rose's petite body to her own in gratitude. She wondered how she survived all those years in solitude before Ben and the Resistance had come into her life. "Thank you. I will definitely take you up on that." She said gratefully as Rose returned her hug.
After another check up with Harter, Rey met up with Rose and they returned to her quarters, where the two girls spent the evening relaxing and playing the card game Sabacc to entertain themselves. While they played, they talked about inconsequential things, before the topic took a more serious turn and they strayed into the territory of past relationships, or in Rey's case a lack of.
"So, Ben was your first?" Rose asked incredulously.
Rey looked at the young engineer in amusement, wondering why Rose found that so shocking. "Why does that surprise you?"
"I don't know." Rose mused. "You always come across as so self-assured and confident. I just assumed."
"There wasn't much opportunity to indulge in relationships on Jakku. I was too busy just trying to stay alive and not starve. And the men I did come across were just rogues and pirates, and I avoided them at all costs." Rey shrugged as she dealt another round of cards.
"I'm so sorry. It was a crass assumption to make. I didn't think." Rose apologised.
"Please don't apologise, Rose." Rey hastened to assure her. "I don't dwell on it and neither should you. Anyway, what about you?"
"Oh, I was no Paige." Rose sighed, referring to her much experienced older sister. "I had a few dalliances, but nothing serious."
Rey looked at Rose in sympathy as she saw the flash of pain cross her face at the mention of her dead sister. "You must miss her."
"Every day." Rose gave her a sad smile. She swiped at her eyes as she picked up her cards and studied them. She was quiet for a minute, glancing at Rey often as if trying to summon up the courage to ask another question.
It didn't take Rey long to notice Rose's enquiring gaze. She pushed her own cards away and looked at Rose speculatively. "Is there something else you wanted to ask me?"
"Its nothing." Rose murmured, her cheeks flushing slightly.
"It doesn't look like nothing." Rey probed gently. "Whatever it is I don't mind. Ask away."
Rose exhaled slowly as if reaching a decision. She abandoned her own cards and shifted awkwardly in her seat. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to. It's just that I…." She hesitated, looking troubled. "I just wondered how you managed to get past what Ben did when he was…"
"Kylo Ren." Rey finished for her.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked." Rose apologised again, her cheeks flaming red now with embarrassment. "Its none of my business."
"It's okay." Rey assured her with a gentle smile.
Reassured that she hadn't overstepped the mark, Rose decided to carry on. "I mean do you separate them as two different men…Kylo and Ben. One is so different from the other."
Rey's expression turned thoughtful. "No, I don't. They're the same person. Kylo will always be a part of what makes Ben the man he is. I loved Kylo before he reclaimed his true name of Ben Solo. What he did in the past can't be changed and won't be forgotten, he can only grow from those experiences and atone moving forward. The way he is trying to overcome his past just makes me love him even more."
"So, you believe that a person can change for the better if given the chance?" Rose sounded desperate for reassurance.
"I believe that no one should solely be defined by their past actions, everyone is capable of change. We are what we grow beyond." Rey said philosophically.
Rose giggled. "Is that a quote you read somewhere?" She teased.
"Probably." Rey joined in her laughter as she reached for the cards again, but immediately tensed when she felt a terrifying swathe of familiar dark force signatures rolling toward her like a death wave. She paled considerably, her hazel eyes widening in alarm. She didn't have time to warn Rose as the doors to her quarters slid open to reveal the cursed Knights of Ren in full body armour with weapons drawn.
Rose let out a horrified scream at the Knights terrifying appearance. Rey pushed the frightened young engineer roughly behind her as she called for her own weapon. Her saber flew into her hand at her command. She ignited it, calling upon the Force to aid her as she faced down the intimidating Knights.
One of them stepped forward. "So, the face of Kylo's mistress is finally revealed to be the Scavenger all along." The knight sneered, revealing himself as Vicrul. "You've led us a merry dance, young lady." He continued in the same sardonic tone. "You have no idea of the difficulties we've had tracking you and Ren to this icy hellscape."
"How did you even get in here?" Rey demanded as she tried to play for time.
"This place is riddled with tunnels. Once we got down here, it was easy to lock onto your Force signature and it led us right to you."
"What do you want from me?" Rey tried to keep her voice steady as she spoke.
"A sacrifice of course. We told you that we would exact a price if you were to become one of us." Vicrul reminded her pointedly.
"Are you insane?" Rey argued, holding her weapon tightly in her clenched fists. "It was all a ruse. An act. I was never going to be one of you."
"We beg to differ, scavenger." Vicrul laughed cruelly. "Or should I say Rey Palpatine! Yes, we know who you really are now. You are the granddaughter of the most powerful Sith lord that ever lived. No wonder Kylo wanted you for himself."
Adrenaline flooded Rey's system, it pumped and beat like it was trying to escape. Her heart felt like it was about to explode from the pressure. Rey already felt her body betraying her as the nausea began to well at the back of her throat. The adrenaline continued to surge so fast she almost vomited, she could taste saliva thickening in her throat and cold perspiration beaded her brow as she got ready to fight to the death.
A/N-thanks for reading! Please review if you have the time.