AN: Minor dialogue lifted from S5E19.

.-.-.-.-.

'Wish we could just use you guys as a FedEx,' Sam mumbled as he slouched low in the passenger seat of the Impala, the light pattering of rain lulling him into a doze. 'Quicker 'n' easier.'

Dean shrugged. 'This is more fun. I like driving,' he said defensively. He frowned as the rain quickly turned to a downpour, overwhelming the windshield wipers' ability to keep up. 'Lets us take a moment to sit back and relax.' He eased up on the gas as lightning lit up the road, immediately followed by a loud crack of thunder.

Sam jolted back to being fully awake. 'Right. Has nothin' to do with that constant vibrating coming from your pocket?' he asked with a grin. 'You know I'm perfectly capable of driving if you need to answer that.'

Dean rolled his eyes as he subtly reached out into the storm. 'I'm about to just put it on my dick and at least get somethin' outta this harassment,' he said distractedly. His eyes narrowed as he picked up on the thread manipulating the storm. 'This ain't angels…'

'Huh? Angels?'

'The storm. It ain't natural.'

Sam looked out the window, watching the trees sway harshly as the wind picked up. 'What is it? Omen? Monster?'

'Pagan.'

'You think it's the friends Gabriel mentioned or just a coincidence?'

'We're here and a buncha hunters know we were grabbin' up some boxes?' Dean scoffed. 'You tell me.'

'At least there's a motel coming up,' Sam said, squinting at the approaching neon sign. He leaned back into his seat as he read it. 'Never mind.'

'The Elysian Fields Hotel,' Dean read aloud with a smile. 'Not exactly subtle, is it?'

'Can you get us outta here?'

'Yeah, don't need to see out the windshield.' Dean reached out and surreptitiously began skimming the beings inside for information. 'Damn. This place is crawling with pagans.'

Sam sighed and looked from the packed parking lot to Dean. 'What do we do?'

'Play along, leave, or flash my wings and point out that whatever they're planning is pointless,' Dean replied, his tone conveying that he didn't like any of the choices.

'Guess on the outcomes?'

'One could lead to casualties. One leaves them wondering what the fuck happened and who fucked up, so potential casualties among themselves—which I'm leaning toward. And last one has potential casualties because they chose to take me on. And… Shit.' He groaned as he slumped back, switching off the ignition.

'What?'

'Humans caught in the crossfire. We're going in.'

'A or C?'

'I'm feeling generous. C.'

'Is that wise? I mean, what if they try to sell you out to Michael and his cronies? Or think they're being smart and give Lucifer information he already has? What happened to flying under the radar?'

Dean reached out to Gabiel across Angel Radio for an opinion.

'Yeah, I uh...I just got an invite from Kali,' Gabriel admitted.

'As did I,' Lucifer added in amusement. 'They claim they've just located Sam Winchester and wish to strike a bargain. Is this why you're ignoring the demon?'

'No, I'm driving, asshole.'

'There are better ways of travel, Seraphiel.'

'I don't like it,' Castiel said.

'As I understand it, no one likes to travel by car.'

Dean snorted and rolled his eyes. 'Even without the phone, I'm getting harassed. Plus, we're not even in the damned hotel yet, and these jerks are already selling us out.' He drummed his fingers along the steering wheel. 'How about this: Combo of A and C. We go in, I borrow a new meat suit, and I scare them all off. Good plan?'

'It's a plan.'

He related his idea to the others. 'Gabe thinks it's good.'

'Of course he does.'

'Lucifer doesn't. He just got word that someone found you and wants to trade, so he's voting for slaughter. And Cas is on standby if things get hairy.'

'Great. Bargaining chips for pagan gods. That's how I wanted to spend my evening,' Sam said as he reached into the back seat and grabbed a duffel bag.

'Not if I can help it. We've got about two or three hours before Lucifer shows his hand.' He eyed the distance they'd have to run to reach the entrance. 'I'm snagging that handicap spot,' he mumbled as he restarted the car. 'My wings are actin' up.'

Sam let out a disapproving sigh. 'Whatever. Do you know what gods are in there?'

'Old ones… Powerful, but waning.'

'That's…kinda sad.'

'They're already scared because humans are losing belief in them,' Dean explained as he pulled into the new spot. 'Throw in the apocalypse and the potential to lose all human life? Their very existence is at stake.'

'Going for a slow death over a quick one?'

'I guess. Some adapt. Insert themselves into new age religions. Nature and feminine deities have it easier right now. The Moirai managed to wiggle their way into a bunch of religions and beliefs,' he said as he fished around for his own bag.

'Repeating themes… You think we're dealing with one offs? Ones that couldn't secure multiple spots?'

'Possibly. Won't know till we get in there,' he said with a grin.

.-.-.-.-.

Dean was impressed with the effort that went into the entry and front desk. He wasn't as impressed with Mercury's procurement of their blood, but if these pagan gods wanted to be locked in the same building as him, that was their choice.

'Damn, these are nice digs,' he said as he fell back onto one of the beds. He stretched out his senses and felt one of the pagan gods walking down the hallway, pausing outside their neighbors' door.

'Yeah,' Sam replied, looking around the room in suspicion. It was a nice room. If Dean's insight into what was behind the hotel hadn't given anything away, then the price tag surely would have.

'I'm gonna take a nap,' Dean said pointedly. 'Just bang on the wall if those kids next to us get loud.'

Sam opened his mouth to reply, but he heard a scream come from the room next to them. One that didn't match either of the occupants they had just seen. He ran out the door just in time to see 'Chad' from the front desk burst through the door in a shower of splinters and land against the wall.

'Stay right there, Mercury,' a woman's voice called out.

'Seraphiel!' Mercury gasped as he tried to get his feet under him.

Sam watched as the pretty young woman next door lightly stepped through the broken door and adjusted her negligee and hair. She crossed her arms and glared down at Mercury, shadowed wings stretching along the walls behind her. If there was any doubt as to who wore the woman's skin, that look erased it for Sam.

'Come on, Mercury. I thought we were friends,' Seraphiel said, spreading his wings threateningly. He glanced at Sam and grinned. 'Sam! Fancy meeting you here. You and your sweet brother should stay safe.' He winked as he raised his hand in Sam's direction. 'I'll just—'

'Seraphiel!' a woman shouted as she ran into the hallway.

'Such bad timing. Guess you won't be joining your brother in dreamland,' Seraphiel said with an overexaggerated shrug. 'Hello, Kali. You're looking good.'

'Are you here on…orders?' Kali asked, looking from Seraphiel to Sam and back. 'Are you here as a proxy?'

Seraphiel laughed and tossed his hair. He was definitely digging his new Victoria's Secret vibe. 'He doesn't command me. I'm here to issue a warning for nostalgia's sake.'

Kali raised a hand as the others joined them, blocking the exits. 'What warning?'

'Don't make deals with the devil,' Seraphiel flatly replied. He shook his head in disappointment at some of the faces he saw and hoped he'd be able to convince them to leave. 'If you honestly think he would trade with the likes of you, then you've lost more than your followers.'

'That's where you're wrong,' Kali insisted. 'He's already agreed to hear us out.'

'Actually, cupcake,' Gabriel said as he stepped around the corner and walked up to stand beside Kali, 'Seri's right. You got less than an hour to clear out. If you're lucky.'

Kali narrowed her eyes as she glared at Gabriel. 'And what would you know, Loki?'

Gabriel smiled and shifted uneasily. 'Look, I like you guys. Really like some of you. But we can't be crossing Lucifer right now.'

Seraphiel took a fortifying breath and pushed his power forward and over the surrounding gods. He could play up his role, be the monster. Ignore how much fun it was before he got lost in it again. 'Loki. I always wondered why I never got to hang with you,' he pouted, giving a small, seductive sway of his hips. He caught Sam's disturbed grimace out of the corner of his eye.

'How many times I gotta repeat it? You're scary, and I'm a coward,' Gabriel replied.

Seraphiel's smile fell a little at the honesty in Gabriel's answer. 'I guess that's fair.'

Kali looked between them, her eyes narrowing in suspicion. 'Who told you we were here?'

Seraphiel waved his hand at Sam. 'I'm these kids' personal guardian angel,' he declared. 'Oh, sure, that glorified accountant on a leash might think he's doing a good job of it, but I have my own interests to look out for. Example: ending the apocalypse. Because I like Earth the way it is. Isn't that why you're throwing this little party?' He moved forward, and a couple of the gods lingering in the back shuffled farther down the hall.

Kali grabbed Gabriel's arm and tugged on him. 'Loki, come with me.'

'Kali…'

'Please,' she begged.

Gabriel edged closer, and sent a small bit of reassurance across Seraphiel's Grace. 'You gotta know this isn't gonna work,' he said. 'You guys are no match for Lucifer. Hell, you're no match for Seraphiel. You remember how he gets. How many of us he's killed.'

Kali cupped his cheek lovingly. 'But we will be able to defeat them,' she promised. She reached into Gabriel's coat and grabbed his blade, bringing it up to his throat. 'Because now we're armed…Gabriel.'

Gabriel looked at Sam and shrugged apologetically. 'This isn't gonna work, Kali,' he warned.

She wrapped an arm around his chest and held him close, facing the other angel. Her eyes drifted over the red wings she'd only caught glimpses of, and her brows furrowed at the white feathers that almost filled out the rest. 'One step closer, and I kill your brother,' she said, pressing the blade more forcefully against his neck.

'I think you're confused on the whole fallen angel schtick,' Seraphiel said, examining his new vessel's nails. He did his best to keep a straight face as Gabriel sent an image of Diet Orange Slice morphing into an angel blade. 'I'm a selfish asshole. You think I give a shit about him?'

'Maybe not, but there's just one of you, and plenty of us. And we have an angel blade.'

'She's got ya' there,' Gabriel said. He winced as the tip poked him harder.

'Shut up. You honestly thought we were going to deal with Lucifer? We're going to kill him!'

Seraphiel sent a wave of threat through the hallway, managing to scare off a couple of the gods who had slowly edged their way to the back. 'That, I can't let you do. Not that you'd be able to, but I'm trying to avoid a massacre here. I'm trying to save your lives. At least, what little is left of them.'

Kali barked out an angry laugh. 'You think your religion is any better than ours? Westerners, I swear. The sheer arrogance. You think you're the only ones on earth? You pillage, and you butcher in your God's name. But you're not the only religion, and He's not the only God. And now, you think you can just rip the planet apart? You're wrong. There are billions of us. And we were here first. If anyone gets to end this world, it's me,' she said, her anger raging against Seraphiel's dark energy. She squeezed Gabriel tighter and whispered, 'I'm sorry,' before plunging the blade into his chest.

'Gabriel!' Sam shouted, making a move to grab him, but stopping short as Kali pointed the blade at him. He jumped back and spared a glance at Seraphiel, put off by the impassive stare on the young woman's face. This was the Seraphiel from the books he'd read. The one who watched as those around him suffered.

Kali redirected the blade at Seraphiel and let Gabriel fall lifelessly to the floor. 'You may have claimed Earth as your domain, but we're taking it back, and your male-centric religion will learn its place,' she hissed.

'What can I say, when humans get hold of something, they push their own agenda on it. Kinda shitty of you guys,' he said, looking at Sam. He brought his attention back to Kali and cocked his head to the side. 'Would you feel better if I referred to my Creator as Mom? I hear there's a movement.'

Kali growled and moved to step over Gabriel. She gasped as her leg was grabbed and held in place. She stared down in shock to see Gabriel staring at the wall, eyes unfocused.

'Luci's here,' Gabriel said softly.

Seraphiel sighed and cast his gaze around the hallway. 'Last chance.'

'Please, Kali,' Gabriel begged as he stood. 'You guys gotta get outta here.'

'You…' She looked at the blade then at Gabriel. 'You tricked me.'

Gabriel shrugged. 'I may have been Gabriel first, but I'm still Loki. Never faked that.'

A scream echoed through the hall, and more of the gods ran off.

Kali backed away from the direction of the commotion, and Gabriel moved to stand in front of her, shielding her.

Lucifer rounded the corner and ran his eyes and Grace over Seraphiel. 'Interesting choice.'

Seraphiel shrugged. 'It was this or the guy, and I was feeling pretty,' he said as he flexed his wings, preening under Lucifer's gaze.

Lucifer pulled his eyes away and looked at the remaining pagans. 'And here are the heathens.'

Seraphiel shook his head as he watched Baldur edge along the wall toward Lucifer. 'Don't do it, man,' he whispered. He closed his eyes as Baldur silently raised a sword. He slowly let out his breath as he heard the sick impact of flesh being torn.

'And that's him not even at full strength,' Seraphiel said quietly as Baldur fell lifelessly to the floor. He sent regret and disappointment along his Grace into Lucifer, but only received indifference in response.

'Please, Kali,' Gabriel begged desperately as he moved away from Lucifer and tugged on her arm.

Her arms were quickly engulfed in flames as she resisted Gabriel's pulls. 'And what's to keep him from following me?' she asked.

'She won't. She's too busy with this shit show of an apocalypse. I'd be more worried about what's gonna happen after,' Seraphiel replied. At Lucifer's questioning stare and prods along his Grace, he shrugged. 'What? I'm joining a movement.'

'Obviously,' Lucifer replied, slowly looking over Seraphiel from head to toe.

'Hey. I'm cute like this,' Dean insisted.

'Yes. A lovely distraction that Gabriel's friends have failed to take advantage of,' Lucifer said as he shifted his gaze to Kali.

Kali quickly stepped back at having Lucifer's intense focus on her, barely aware of her fellow gods fleeing. She glanced down where Gabriel held her arm and breathed shakily at seeing his hand unharmed by her fire. She met his eyes as he let go. She backed away a few more feet before letting out a frustrated scream and ran.

Gabriel let out the breath he was holding and looked at Lucifer. 'Please, let her go.'

Lucifer nodded and looked at Sam. 'Sam.'

'No. I'm good,' Sam said, shaking his head and backing away.

'Next time, perhaps.' Lucifer smiled and turned to Seraphiel. 'Seraphiel. Do you have time to talk?'

Seraphiel sighed and looked at the room his body was laying in. He raised a brow at Sam and got a shrug. 'Sure. Lemme get changed and get these people out of here.'

'Abandoning your movement so soon?' Lucifer teased.

'Ha. Right. Keep an eye on him,' Seraphiel told Gabriel as he walked back into his vessel's room.

Lucifer watched in amusement as Sam hurried into the room he stood outside and shut the door. He side-eyed Gabriel as they waited. 'A pagan, Gabriel? Really?'

'What can I say? She was all hands,' Gabriel said dreamily.

'I hope you didn't catch anything,' Lucifer said with a sniff. His Grace poked around Gabriel's, investigating the taint from pagan sacrifices.

'Nothing contagious,' Gabriel promised with a grin.