It turned out not to be so easy to keep the hamster a secret from Ford. It's not like Ford came into our room that often, but I was really paranoid every time he went upstairs, and I would run upstairs to my room to guard it. To add to this, little did I know hamsters are noisy little things, especially in the evening when they spun on their wheels. I worried that Ford would hear the noise from his and Evan's bedroom next door. Plus, while Guthrie has always been a super heavy sleeper who could sleep though the apocalypse, I was the opposite and easily woken up by noise. When I told Adam that the hamster was noisy at night, he rolled his eyes up to the heavens and told me that that was the reality of having a hamster.
Still, the cage was out of sight enough that you couldn't see it if you looked into our room from the hallway. With luck on my side, I could keep it hidden for another couple of days until Christmas eve which was when we gave our secret santa gifts to each other. We did other gifts on Christmas day.
Guthrie's grounding was finally over which improved his general mood considerably. On the first day he was no longer grounded, he zoomed around outside like a maniac when we got home from school, like he had been imprisoned for hundreds of years. He still wasn't completely himself though, especially at school. He was finding it difficult to concentrate; he'd take a while to complete work that he would usually be able to tackle quickly, and a couple of times when Mrs Whitby asked him a question, he had to admit that he had no idea what was going on.
On the way home from school, two days before the break, when Guthrie had had a particularly distracted day, I asked him what the matter was.
"I can't stop thinking about Michael. And his mom. Whether they're okay…," he said, forlornly.
"Adam and Brian said that they were, remember?" I reminded him. "They said that they're with people that can help them."
"Yea. But where are they?"
"I don't know… but if Adam and Brian said that they're okay, then they must be," I said. At that age, I had absolute confidence in what my two oldest brothers said. If they said someone or something was okay, I had no reason to mistrust that.
"But I still want to know where they are," he said grumpily.
We didn't have much homework at all that evening because the vacation was so near. I finished mine so quickly that I could have left the table after 10 minutes, but Guthrie looked like he was really struggling. Not to complete the work, I don't think, but to concentrate. Adam and Brian weren't closely monitoring us and there was a general hubbub at the table from the other guys too, so I sat next to him and whispered the answers to the science worksheet. Guthrie wrote down the answers quickly. When we were done, he let out a huge sigh of relief.
"Thanks, Heidi," he said quietly.
"No problem."
When it came time to go to bed, Guthrie became ornery. We were upstairs in our room- both playing with Lego on the floor. Guthrie was building a railway station from a manual, and I was just messing around, trying to see I could put enough pieces together to build a figure that looked like Polly, my favorite chicken. I wasn't doing so well though. We were talking about nonsense things- which goat we thought would fare better in space, when Adam strode into our room.
"Time for bed, kids," he said.
I put my lego model down and obeyed him immediately, climbing into my bed with Rocket, but Guthrie carried on playing as though he hadn't heard Adam.
"Guth," Adam said.
Guthrie looked up at him.
Adam nodded with his head towards Guthrie's bed.
"Bedtime. C'mon."
"I'm not tired though," Guthrie whined.
"Your tone of voice and your actions are tellin' me you're very tired," Adam said.
"Well I'm not," Guthrie said, stubbornly.
Adam frowned.
"What's goin' on, Guth?"
Guthrie looked up at Adam sullenly.
"Nothing."
"We both know that's not true," Adam said. He took a deep breath which I recognised was him struggling for patience.
"He's worried about Michael," I offered.
"Heidi!" Guthrie said, shooting me an angry look.
"What? I didn't think it was a secret or anything!"
"That true?" Adam said.
Guthrie shrugged, but he said, "Yea," and then looked down. He looked so forlorn.
Adam looked like he was considering something for a moment, and then he said, "Alright, Guth, let's talk."
He reached a hand down to Guthrie. Guthrie took it and Adam pulled him up. He led them both to Guthrie's bed. Guthrie got in, under the covers and then Adam sat next to him with his back against the headboard and his arm around Guthrie. It was actually my turn to be sat next to that evening. I knew that Guthrie needed the attention more than me, but I was a little disappointed. I always looked forward to my nights.
Adam squeezed Guthrie slightly.
"Tell me what you're worried about," he said.
Guthrie fiddled with the buttons on Adam's plaid shirt.
"I know you and Brian said that Michael and his mom were safe, but how do you know? And where is he Adam? Is he gonna come back to school?" His voice wobbled. "I feel so bad because… because… Michael asked me not to tell, and I did…"
He buried his face into Adam's shirt and sobbed.
Adam hugged Guthrie close to him.
I got up quickly and ran to the bathroom and fetched some toilet tissue for Guthrie. I took it back to my bedroom and handed it to Adam.
"Thanks, baby; that's really helpful," he said to me.
I went back to my own bed and lay down with Rocket again, watching Adam comfort Guthrie. I curled up like a prawn and put Rocket's soft fur up to my cheek for comfort.
Adam handed Guthrie the toilet tissue.
"Mop up."
Guthrie wiped his eyes and blew his nose.
Adam pulled away from Guthrie a little so that Guthrie could look at him a bit more easily.
"Guth, I want you to look at me, and listen to what I've got to say, carefully, okay?"
Guthrie nodded tearfully.
"What happened with Michael and his mom, and his family in general is not your fault. Do you hear me? It's not your fault."
"But he asked me to not tell and now he's-"
"He asked you not to tell because he was scared of what would happen if he did, but you did the right thing about tellin' me because now, as I've told you before, Michael and his family are safe."
"You keep saying that, but you still won't tell me where he is! Guthrie said, in a near shout, his face flushed with frustration.
Adam raised his eyebrows.
"I know you're upset, buddy, but watch your tone there."
"Sorry," Guthrie said, wilting immediately and then he asked in a more respectful tone, "Do you know where he is?"
"I don't know where Michael and his mom are exactly; that is to say that I don't know their exact location, but I do know the kind of place that they went to. I just haven't wanted to talk to you about it because I think you're too young. But maybe that was a mistake."
"What do you mean by the 'kind of place'?" I asked, from my bed.
"Yea," Guthrie said.
"They're at a place called a woman's refuge," Adam said. "It's a place that women and children can go to be safe when they're in danger from a husband or father. I don't know the exactly location of this refuge though, because typically, that information is kept a secret for the women and children's safety."
"Oh…" said Guthrie. "But you know that's where Michael and his mom are?"
"As far as I'm aware," Adam said.
"Where's Mr Ikerson?" Guthrie asked.
Adam shook his head, just slightly.
"I don't know Guth, and if I'm honest with you, I don't care as long as he's far away from Michael and his mom."
Guthrie wiped his eyes and nose again with another piece of toilet tissue.
"Why is Michael's dad like that, Adam?" he asked. He seemed calmer now that he had assurance that Michael was, indeed okay, as far as Adam knew. It was a question I had posed to both Adam and Brian before.
"I have no idea," Adam said. "All I know is that men like that are garbage. There's never any excuse that justifies mistreating your partner or children. These men belong in the trash."
Guthrie giggled.
"In the trash," he repeated.
Adam smiled.
"Yes."
"When do you think Michael will be back at school?" Guthrie asked.
"I don't have an answer for that I'm afraid. You need to be prepared that Michael might not come back to this school because we don't know where the refuge is. It may not be safe for him to come back to school in this area."
"Oh…" Guthrie said, looking instantly dejected again.
"But whatever happens, you need to know that you did the right thing by tellin' us, Guthrie. You did," Adam said. He tipped up Guthrie's chin to look at him. "Do you understand me?"
"Yea," Guthrie said.
"Will Michael be able to have Christmas?" I asked, rubbing my feet against a bobbly patch on the bottom sheet for comfort.
"Yes, I'm sure he will have Christmas… of a sort," Adam said.
"I bet it won't be as nice as our Christmas," Guthrie said sadly.
Adam combed his fingers through Guthrie's hair, front to back, just the way he likes.
"No, probably not. That's why we have to be grateful for the things we have, right?"
Adam was always telling us to count our blessings.
"If Michael and his mom were here, they could come to our house for Christmas, couldn't they?" Guthrie said. His voice was beginning to slur now- Adam's head stroking was evidently having the desired effect.
"Yes, Guth. Shall we read now?"
Guthrie and I were making our way through the entire Narnia collection at bedtime. We were now on Book Four- 'Prince Caspian' and we weren't that far into it. Adam continued to comb Guthrie's hair with one hand, while he held the book in another. Guthrie fell asleep against his shoulder after a couple of pages, but Adam continued on for another ten minutes for me.
When he finished, he gently disengaged Guthrie from his side. Guthrie stirred as Adam eased him down, but he didn't wake up.
I snuggled further down, curling up even further like I do when I want to get to sleep. Adam crossed to my bed and tucked the comforter around me so that I was completely cocooned in a comical way.
I giggled.
Adam bent down and kissed my forehead.
"Sleep well," he said quietly.
"Love you," I said, quietly back.
We weren't a family who told each other every minute how much we loved each other. We did it more in actions. Now though, I just felt like saying it.
Adam smiled softly.
"Love you too."
/
The winter break finally arrived, and Uncle Pete was due to arrive on the day of Christmas Eve. We all loved Uncle Pete and were excited for his arrival. Guthrie and I were almost hysterical with anticipation. It had been a couple of years since we had seen him since he was constantly travelling the country. He was, by far, the most fun adult we knew. He wasn't even like an adult, really- he was just like an overgrown kid. Like Peter Pan, he never grew up.
At breakfast on the morning of Christmas Eve, Guthrie and I asked so many questions, it drove our brothers to distraction. Even though he'd sent us postcards from where he was in the country- or out the country- one time he'd sent us a postcard from Mexico!- we hadn't see him in a couple of years. We wanted to know if he would look the same and if he had a new girlfriend. He always had a new girlfriend it seemed, he'd show us pictures of the latest one every time he came.
"Will he still be able to do a good cookie monster impression?" Guthrie asked.
Uncle Pete did the best cookie monster from Sesame Street impression.
"Probably," Brian said.
"Me love to eat cookies," Guthrie said, miming the action of stuffing cookies into his mouth like the cookie monster.
"Me love to eat cookies," I repeated, copying his actions.
The two of us started giggling uncontrollably, each one trying to outdo the other's impression, until Guthrie had a coughing fit from laughing so hard, which made me laugh harder.
"It's great to see you guys so happy, but you're goin' to make yourselves sick. Settle down now," Adam said firmly, in his no nonsense voice.
That helped calm us a bit, but we were still hyper, so much so that Adam and Brian made us come outside with them to help complete their chores, and put us to work so we could burn off some energy.
They had us fetch various things for them- things I suspected they didn't really need but it kept us occupied. We were in the tack shed when we heard the roar of a motorcycle in the distance.
"I bet that's Uncle Pete!" Guthrie said excitedly.
We ran out the tack shed to see Uncle Pete thundering up the road to the house leaving a cloud of dust in his wake.
"Here's here!" I yelled, jumping up and down.
I ran up to the house where I knew my other brothers were and burst through the screen door and the front door yelling "Uncle Pete's here! Uncle Pete's here!" before rocketing back as quickly as I'd come to greet him.
Uncle Pete had already come to a stop and parked his bike next to the trucks outside the house. He was hugging Guthrie who had thrown himself into him.
"Uncle Pete!" I shrieked, bowling into him to give him a big hug. He picked me up and hugged me tight, twirling me around.
"If it isn't my favorite niece!" he said, putting me down.
Ford and Daniel had come up out of the house now, followed by Crane and Evan and they greeted Uncle Pete with enthusiasm too.
Adam and Brian were the last to reach us. Uncle Pete hugged each one of them in turn.
"How you doin', son?" Uncle Pete said to Adam, patting his cheek in the same way Adam did to us sometimes. I thought it was funny seeing someone do that to Adam too.
"Doing just fine, Uncle Pete," Adam said, smiling.
Us younger kids crowded around Uncle Pete, bombarding him with questions until Adam told us to let Uncle Pete breathe and to let him come into the house. Uncle Pete grabbed his backpack from the back of his bike to take inside.
I took hold of his hand all the way to the house. He dropped his backpack near the stairs by the front door and flopped down on the couch.
"Ahhh, that feels good!" he said.
I sat next to him.
"Was it a long journey?" Crane asked.
"A bit- I've come all the way from LA in the past 24 hours," Uncle Pete said. "Say, you don't happen to have a beer, do you? I'm parched."
"I'll get it for you!" Guthrie said, barrelling towards the kitchen.
"You hungry?" Brian asked
"Starvin'," Uncle Pete said patting his belly.
Guthrie came running back through to the living room and handed Uncle Pete a can of beer. He opened it immediately and took a long sip.
"That hits the spot!" he said.
"Uncle Pete, can you still do the cookie monster impression," I asked, tugging on of his tattooed arms.
"Yea, can you? Can you?" Guthrie said.
"I reckon I'll need a couple of cookies to test it out," Uncle Pete said.
"I'll get you some!" I said, hopping off the couch and running into the kitchen. I grabbed three from the cookie jar and ran back into the living room where Uncle Pete was asking Daniel about his guitar.
"Here you go!" I said, interrupting them and thrusting the cookies into his hand.
Uncle Pete took them, and smiled at me, but continued talking to Daniel.
"Uncle Pete, can you do it!" I said, interrupting him again.
"Let Uncle Pete finish what he's sayin' Heidi," Brian said, coming up behind me and looping his arms around my front.
Uncle Pete went back to talking to Daniel.
I turned around and looked up at Brian.
"I just wanted him to do the impression," I said, feeling disproportionately upset, probably because I was so over wrought with excitement.
"Give him a minute", Brian said quietly to me. He pulled me back against him and squeezed my shoulders gently.
Uncle Pete talked to Daniel for another few minutes and then he turned suddenly to me.
"Me want cookie! "Om Nom Nom Nom," he said, stuffing one of the cookies into his mouth, bits falling everywhere.
Guthrie and I squealed with laughter.
"Do it again!" Guthrie shouted.
Uncle Pete did the same twice more, and each time, Guthrie and I were beside ourselves laughing.
Everyone else was laughing too, but I think they were laughing at us finding the whole thing so funny.
When Uncle Pete finished, he took another huge gulp of his beer and then let out an almighty performative belch.
"Alright! Good one Uncle Pete!" Evan exclaimed, pumping his fist in the air.
The others laughed, even Adam. Usually, if any of the boys did something like that, Adam would tell them off- he said that our mom wouldn't have liked any of us to act like that, but he didn't say anything to Uncle Pete now.
Uncle Pete talked with us for a while longer and then he said he wanted to take a shower. I was in my room when I heard the bathroom door open and when I popped my head around my door, I saw Uncle Pete coming out, towelling his hair dry.
"Uncle Pete!" I whispered theatrically- Ford was only downstairs and I didn't want him to hear me. "Come here!"
Uncle Pete loped to my room.
"What's up princess?" he said.
'Princess' was his pet name for me.
I took his hand and pulled him further into my room and shut the door.
"I want to show you something!" I said, taking his hand and pulling him further into my room and over towards the hamster cage.
"Look at this! It's the hamster I'm giving Ford for his secret santa gift tonight."
Uncle Pete bent down to look more closely at the hamster.
"Looks like a fine little critter," he said. "I'm bettin' Ford's goin' to love this little thing,"
"I hope so," I said.
Uncle Pete straightened up and looped the towel he'd be carrying around his neck.
"Me and your mom had hamsters when we were little too," he said. "Bibble and Bobble. Both girls. But then they escaped and we found them later living in the walls with their hamster babies so I guess they weren't both girls."
"Don't tell Adam that!" I said. The last thing I needed was for him to hear this story. "Was one yours and one mama's?"
"I think so. I can't remember- it was so long ago," Uncle Pete said, starring into the distance with a wistful look in his eye.
"You look like Adam and Brian do when they talk about mama," I said.
Uncle Pete brought his attention back to me and pinched my cheek.
"Let's go downstairs and get some lunch, I'm starvin'."
During lunch, Uncle Pete told us that he wanted to be involved in making some Christmas dinner the following day- well I call it dinner, but we usually ate late afternoon on Christmas day.
"Sandy's taught me how to make an unbelievable Yule chocolate log," he said.
"Fine by me!" Brian said. As usual, he was chief cook at Christmas time too.
"We've never had that before," Ford said.
"Trust me, you won't be sorry," Uncle Pete said.
"Can I help?" I asked.
"Sure, princess."
"Is Sandy your girlfriend at the moment?" Daniel asked.
"Sure is," Uncle Pete said. He dug into one of the pockets of his leather vest and pulled out a couple of photos. He showed the pictures to Crane, who was sitting right next to him on his left side. "This is her."
"I want to see!" Guthrie said, running around behind Uncle Pete to look at the pictures. I did the same thing, along with Evan and Ford.
Sandy looked pretty enough- but I couldn't tell the difference between any of Uncle Pete's girlfriends if I was honest. They were always blonde, petite and tattooed.
"What happened to Marion- that was your last girlfriend's name… right?" Evan asked.
"Yea. Didn't work out," Uncle Pete said casually.
For the rest of the day, Uncle Pete helped out with whatever needed done so that my brothers could finish working for the day early. He's not a rancher- ranching had been on my father's side of the family, but he was game and pretty much up for anything.
Early in the afternoon, I dragged him over to see Splotch and told him all about how we'd got her one day at the carnival. And then, Evan spirited him away to come and look at Diablo, even though Uncle Pete had met him before.
When supper was over and the dishes had been done, Adam told us to go and get our presents and then come back to the living room. I decided to leave the hamster up in my room until it was my turn to give my present to Ford because I didn't want him guessing, by hearing the hamster run for example. We gathered around on the chairs and couches in the living room. Adam and Crane lit a fire and turned off the main lights so that the only light in the room was coming from lamps and the lights on the Christmas tree and the glow from the fire. It was warm and cosy.
"Who wants to go first?" Adam said.
"I will!" Guthrie said.
"Okay, you know the drill. First you need to say whose name you picked."
Part of the fun was finding out who had your name.
"I picked Heidi," Guthrie said, looking at me.
"Me?" I said surprised. He'd managed to keep that one quiet, especially since we shared a room. He usually couldn't keep a secret to save his life.
"Yep," Guthrie said.
He handed me my gift, which was shaped in a rectangle.
My brothers normally just rip open the wrapping on their presents, but I like to unwrap mine carefully.
I could feel Guthrie's eyes on me while I opened it. When I'd opened the top of the wrapping, I reached in and pulled out a packet of the prettiest hairclips I'd seen in my life. They had sparkles on them and there were bows and different colours and some sequins. I thought I might cry with happiness and launched myself over Daniel who was sitting in between Guthrie and me to hug him.
"Thanks, Guth," I said tearfully in his ear.
"When I pulled back, Guthrie face was flushed a little.
"Brian helped," he said, bashfully.
"More like the saleslady in the department store," Brian said.
"Brian got her number," Guthrie said.
"Why doesn't that surprise me?" Crane said, playfully pushing Brian's shoulder.
"What can I do? I'm irresistible," Brian said.
"I'm going to put some on now!" I said, running to the living room mirror to see where I could adorn my hair with decoration.
Ford went after that and he gave Evan a book all about rodeo. Crane gave Daniel a book of sheet music with some of their favorite country songs in there so he could learn to play them. Daniel gave Guthrie a swiss army penknife which Guthrie appeared to find the coolest thing ever. Evan gave Crane a couple of books- autobiographies of musicians he admired. It turned out that Adam and Brian had picked each other. Adam bought Brian a new wallet and Brian bought Adam a new pair of work gloves since Adam's were so worn through.
Finally, it was only Ford left to get his gift, and by that time, he knew that I'd picked him.
"I need a helper to bring the present downstairs," I said.
"Why don't you go, Ev," Adam said, "Since you were so instrumental in helping Heidi choose this gift." I could tell he was teasing.
"You need to shut your eyes and keep them shut until we get back," I said to Ford.
Ford shut them obediently.
"Make sure he doesn't open them," I said to everyone else.
"We will," Daniel said.
Evan and I went upstairs and gently lifted the hamster's cage, bringing it downstairs together, one of us holding each end. Evan could have carried it on his own, but I wanted to carry it too, since it was my gift.
Ford had stayed true to his word, and kept his eyes shut the whole time. We placed the hamster cage down on the coffee table as gently as we could.
"Open them now!" I said, theatrically.
Ford opened his eyes.
For a moment, he just stared at the hamster cage, as though he couldn't quite compute what he was seeing. Then, a huge smile broke out on his face.
"A hamster! Are you serious? This is SO COOL!" he yelled.
Ford's not one for showing emotion so outwardly usually, so I knew that he really liked the gift. He kneeled on the floor so he could get a closer look at the hamster, who was trying to hide.
"He's kind of shy," I said.
"How did you manage to pull this off?" Ford asked me, both looking and sounding incredulous.
"It was Evan's idea, and he said you guys can keep him in your room," I said.
"But how did you get Adam to agree?" Ford said. We all laughed.
"We kind of bought him at the mall, without Adam knowing," I said. I glanced at Adam. "But I won't ever do that again," I added hastily.
"We're definitely not goin' to make a habit of this," Adam said.
"Thank you so much!" Ford said.
He moved to take the hamster out the cage, but it scurried away from him, the moment he opened the flap door.
"Just give him a moment to adjust to all the noise before you hold him," Evan advised.
"Seems like everyone did well here," Uncle Pete said.
"We didn't forget you, either," Crane said. He handed the second gift he was holding, a smaller one to Uncle Pete.
"You didn't need to do that," Uncle Pete said, looking embarrassed.
"We wanted to," Crane said.
Uncle Pete tore open the wrapping on his gift to reveal a small box. Inside, sat a black leather key chain.
"We thought you could put your motorcycle key on it, and that way you'll always think about us wherever you are," Crane said.
"I sure will," Uncle Pete said. His eyes were a little shiny. Uncle Pete looks like a tough biker guy, but he wears his emotions freely.
"Do you like it?" Guthrie asked.
"I love it," Uncle Pete said hoarsely. He cleared this throat.
"I actually do have a little somethin' for all of you too," he said. "I was goin' to wait until tomorrow, but I think I want to give it to you now."
I knew that Uncle Pete generally never came for Christmas empty handed, but I didn't remember what he usually brought.
"Cool- another present!" Guthrie said.
Uncle Pete got up from the couch and went over to his backpack which was propped up near the door now. He unzipped the front pouch and pulled out a handful of 8 envelopes. Then, he checked the name on the front of each one and handed them out- Adam and Brian being last.
"What?! No way!" Daniel exclaimed. His cries of disbelief were echoed by Evan and Ford.
I quickly tore open the top of the envelope and reached in, pulling out a note. It was a $50 bill. I looked at it stupidly. I'd never seen a note for this much money in my whole life. When I looked at my brothers, it was evident that they had one of them too, in their envelopes. Apart from Adam and Brian. They had four of those notes in their envelopes.
Both seemed lost for words.
"Uncle Pete… it's.. it's too much…" Adam said, looking at the bills and then at Uncle Pete and then at the bills again. "This," he gestured to all of this, "This is costing you a fortune. We can't accept this."
"Don't be ridiculous, son," Uncle Pete said. He sounded gruff. "It's the least I can do. This money's to help with the family." He gestured at Adam and Brian. "I know you two- and you're to keep some of that money and buy somethin' for yourself too. You deserve it."
For those of you worried about Michael- don't worry- he'll be back.