Once the stage was defrosted, the next battle could begin. While Ice Prince worked on melting his ice mountain, Green Bean, Blushy and Glasses Boi talked about the battle. The three were sitting together in the stadium, chatting about what the hell just happened.

"Like damn I knew he was strong, but he didn't have to style on Tape Boi like that," Blushy grumbled. "Besides, his dad is already a top-ranked pro. He got into the school on recommendations. He'll have no trouble finding a hero job. So Ice Boi could have at least let Tape Boi show off a little. We're classmates after all."

Engine Legs disagreed. "All curtesy and kindness must be put aside for the UH Sports Festival. It's about making a name for oneself, at the expense of everyone one else. Right Green Boi?"

Green Boi wasn't paying attention to them. "Hey, doesn't Ice Prince look super sad?"

Blushy and Engine Legs leaned closer to get a look at Ice Prince's face. Blushy shook her head, "He looks just about the same to me. He always has really cold, dead eyes."

Engine Legs added, "He's out of range of my emotion recognition software. When he walks closer, I'll see."

Green Boi sighed. "Well he looks sad to me."

Blushy raised her eyebrows. She teased, "Do you have a crush on Ice Boi now?"

"WHAT?! NO! Why does everyone keep thinking everything I do is romantic? And, by the way, I never said I was gay!"

"Then why is your face all red, huh Greenie?"

"Blushy I thought you were my friend! Stop teasing me!"

Glasses Guy jumped in to say, "There is nothing wrong with moving on to a new romantic interest. However, I would advise you to choose someone who hasn't bullied you. Did you forget what Prince Zuko said to you this morning?"

"I'M NOT INTERESTED IN HIM!" shouted Green Boi.

While those three fussed, the next round began.

…

[Pikachu Dude vs Vine Girl]

"GET READY TO SEE SPARKS FLY FOR THIS NEXT BATTLE—LITERALLY!" shouted Speaker Mic. "We've got the boy with the electric personality versus the beautiful rose assassin who has a thousand thorns! It's Pikachu Dude from Class 1-A of the hero course, versus Vine Girl from Class 1-B! Both heroes in training are sure to give us a good show! But I don't think either of them can surprise us more than Abusive Fire Daddy's son did! Let's go ahead and, BATTLE, ST—"

Vine Girl raised her hand and waved at Speaker Man. "Um, excuse me?" she said.

"Huh?"

"Why'd you call me an assassin?"

"To stir up the drama!"

"I know you're clowning everyone else, but I'm not having any of that please. I'm not an assassin. Assassins murder people. I'm not a murderer. I'm an angel. I was sent here from the heavens to spread goodness, and smite evil with a heavy hand." As she said that, the clouds opened up and a beam of sunshine spotlighted her, casting an angelic glow.

"My bad!" apologized Mic Man.

"Thank you." She headed to her spot on the stage. Pikachu Dude watched her as she daintily strolled to the opposite side of the stage. He thought, Damn she's pretty. She's a total babe, ten out of ten. Maybe I'll ask her out. Then he shook his head. Oh come on, you idiot, you can't think about dating girls all the time. When you're a real hero, and you come across a sexy villain lady, are you gonna start blushing and asking for her phone number? So get your head on straight. She took her spot. He stared at her. And she probably has a boyfriend already.

"ALRIGHT BATTLE, START!" shouted Mic Man.

Fuck it, I'll ask anyway, decided Pikachu-kun. "Hey girl, you are single and ready to mingle?" As soon as he said it, he regretted saying it.

"Huh?" Vine Girl looked confused.

Pikachu Dude tried to say what he actually meant this time. "I mean, how about you and I go on a date after this? I'd be happy to treat you to a bite."

"A bite of what?"

"Um, like, a dessert at a café."

"Oh. No thank you."

Mic Man winced. "OUCH!" he shouted. "Rejected! It's okay kid! Rejection hurts but it's a normal part of life! I haven't given up after all those times Ninja Eyes turned me down!"

Ninja Man rolled his eyes.

"My advice: never give up! Even if it becomes so annoying that it borders on harassment!"

"What the hell are you telling my student?" Ninja asked, suddenly genuinely concerned. "No, if she says no, then respect it. It's that simple. Same goes for ladies. If he says no to you, then it's a no. Don't ask a million more times."

"Is that why you ignore all my messages Mr. Ninja?"

"Don't be stupid. You've never asked me out."

"Yes I have! So many times! Seriously!"

That was news to him! "Let's have this discussion later. Let the kids focus on their battle."

Yes, so back to the battle. Electric Boi charged up his Super Shock Attack. He began to glow with sparks of energy. "Alright this was probably a super awkward time to ask you out on a date Vine Girl. I'll try again after I defeat you!" He raised his hands up in the air and concentrated the energy into his fingertips. "Here's a taste of my super move! Non-lethal, plus-ultra stun-gun attack!" He let loose a wave of energy.

Vine Girl turned around and built a wall with her vine hair. It insulated her from his sparks. "No, sorry I'm just not that interested in you," she told him. "I don't want to hurt your self-esteem or anything, but you're just not my type. Don't take it to heart, okay?" Meanwhile her hair vines tunneled underneath the stage, toward Pikadude. The vines grabbed him, and squeezed him.

"Uh, no problem," replied the semi-stupid Pikachu Dude. He had used too much energy on that first attack. "You good."

Sexy Sadist Lady raised her dilly do and declared, "Vine Girl wins this match!"

[Pikachu Dude vs Vine Girl END]

…

As Pikachu Dude was carted away to the nurse's office by the singing robots, Tofu Block Man had to rebuild the stage. Green Boi used that time to scribble in his handy-dandy notebook. And he was hyper-analyzing the results of the last two battles. "Mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter…"

Blushy was sitting beside him, and she noticed that everyone around them was wondering what the hell Green Boi was muttering about. So Blushy nudged him with her elbow, and whispered, "Uh, Greenie? You're muttering."

"Oh shit," he said, covering his mouth. "My bad."

"What are you writing about?" she asked, peeking over at his notes.

"I'm writing about all the great quirks I've seen today." He handed her the notebook. She flipped through the pages. She pressed her lips together and blinked a couple of times when she stumbled upon the page of his notes on her. "Oh. So you take notes about me too?"

Green Boi nodded. "Yup, I've got notes on everyone in class."

"Not gonna lie, that's kinda creepy."

"Is it?"

"Like, super duper creepy."

"Oh." He looked discouraged. She returned the notebook to him. "But it shows your dedication! That's pretty intense! And you draw pretty well! Your sketch looks just like me. Hehe…" She faced the stage. "Glasses Boi is up next, so let's cheer him on!"

…

[Support Item Girl vs Glasses Guy Engine Legs]

Mic Man pulled Ninja Dude off to the side, away from the microphones. He was on his phone, showing the annoyed Ninja all the messages he had sent via Facebook Messenger. "So you don't use Facebook anymore? I though you kept ignoring my messages."

Ninja Eyes said, "I haven't been on Facebook since my cat died. Too many memories."

"Yeah, even your profile picture is your cat. It was a black cat named Itachi, right?"

"Please don't bring it up, I'm still mourning."

"Wasn't it three years ago?"

"And my life has been miserable since."

"Okay… Anyway, I sent you a lot of messages on Facebook."

"Well you wasted your time. And just to be clear, I hate you. I will never accept your confessions. And if you harass me, I'll kill you. Now let's go announce the next match."

So the two sat down at their booth and Mic Man started screaming into the microphones again. "ALRIGHT Y'ALL GET READY FOR THIS NEXT MATCH! It's a support-item course student versus a hero-course student! Two people who should be working together are going to get violent! My bet is on Glasses Guy Engine Legs, who comes from a long line of heroes! Ever heard of the hero Turbo Legs? That's his older brother! But let's not underestimate Support Item Girl! What sort of gizmos does she have under her sleeve? Remember to place your official bets at the UH Betting Booth or play online using our mobile app! And remember, all proceeds go toward educating the next generation of heroes! Alright, are we ready to battle? BATTLE ST—WAIT!" Mic Man leaned forward and pointed at Engine Legs. "What's this?! Is Engine Legs cheating?!"

The machine calf boi was wearing machines all over his body. He was decked out in several of Item Girl's "babies". He looked pretty silly, honestly, but he was sincere when he gasped. "Cheating! How dare you accuse me of cheating? I pledged my life to obeying the rules!"

Sadist Lady explained, "Engine Legs, Hero Course students can't use support items unless they fill out the proper paperwork."

Engine Legs gasped even harder. "I didn't know that was the rule! I wasn't trying to break it! I would have filled out any paperwork necessary! I love paperwork! I thought it was okay because Laser Belly-kun uses his Super Laser Belt."

Laser Belly basked in the brief moment of screen time he received while the camera of the stadium focused on him. He pointed to his belt and winked.

Sadist Lady explained, "He filled out the paperwork. You didn't. And that's not sexy. So take off those support items or I might have to punish you, you naughty, naughty, little boy."

Engine Legs bowed. "I'll gladly fill out the paperwork now, if I can. You see, Support Item Girl made my engines rev when she told me that she wanted a fair battle. She felt it was unfair for her to use support items and her quirk. So she gave me some items to use. Out of respect for her, I'd like to wear this gear!"

Green Boi muttered, "That doesn't sound like something Support Girl would do. What's her real aim?"

Blushy mumbled, "Glasses is being over-dramatic again."

But Sadist Lady liked the drama. "Such youthful vigor! Eeee! You're making my heart pound! It's sexy! I'll allow it!"

Mic Man narrowed his eyes. "Really?" He banged his hand on the table. "Well, you heard it folks! She makes the rules! I'm gonna go ahead and say, BATTLE, START!"

Glasses took off running. Support Item Girl smirked. She adjusted her headset and pressed a button to hack into the stadium's audio system. "Hello Heroes, Support Item Companies, and UH Sports Festival Spectators!" she announced across the stadium.

Mic Man frowned. "What? How is she doing that?" he shouted into his mic. But his mic was dead. "WHHAHTHT?"

"Welcome," she continued, "to Support Item Girl's Support Item Showcase 3019. I've got all the latest and greatest items from my Etsy Store to demonstrate for you guys today!"

Glasses Boi was confused as hell, but he was still running toward her. He was going to kick her hard enough to knock her out of the ring. But she pressed a button and stilts erupted from her backpack, sending her high into the air. "First of all, don't you see how fast my opponent is running? I've equipped him with my LightFoot Leg Braces, only 4500 yen! (Plus shipping and handling!) And this little backpack, right now it's on sale, 30 percent off! It's a steal! I'm almost giving it away!"

Ninja Eyes groaned. "Is she turning the Sports Festival into a commercial?"

Mic Man nodded. "That's wild! But I appreciate her creative marketing strategies."

Back in the teacher's section of the stadium, All American and Principal Kawaii were shocked by Support Girl's brazen disrespect of the tournament. All American turned to the Kuma Principal and asked, "Are you going to allow her to do that?"

The Principal nodded, and answered, "Yes. In fact, she's given me ideas for how to make more money from future UH Sports festivals. I can't believe I didn't do something like this sooner! But of course, since she didn't ask me for permission before she pulled this little stunt, I'll have to punish her by taking ten percent of her profits. Yes, yes…"

On the Tofu Stadium, Engine Legs revved up his engines. "What are you doing?" he shouted. "You're disgracing the sacred name of UH!" He ran toward her, but she dodged again. He almost fell, but one of her gadgets spun him around perfectly.

"And that, my good folks, was my Automatic Autobalancer. You don't have to be a hero to need something like that people. How many of you are clumsy? I know I am! Imagine not being able to fall down! Perfect, right? Anyone from housewives to top-ranked heroes can make use of that! Look, a similar product from the top agencies would cost you about 10,000 yen. I'm giving it to you at an affordable 5000 yen. You literally can't beat that price. And everything comes with a 14-day return policy and a money back guarantee. If you are not 100 percent satisfied, I'll take it back, no questions asked."

Engine Legs shouted, "I thought you wanted a fair fight!"

She ignored him. "That's just three of the twenty great items I have on my store: Little Miss Support Item Discount Store! And to any investors looking to partner with me, or to any support item companies looking for new recruits, you can contact me via Twitter or Instagram. I'm LittleMissSupportItem! That's LittleMissSupportItem!"

She had even hacked the stadium screens so that it displayed her contact info.

"Alright, so let's move on to item number four! For just 5500 yen, you could own your own pair of hoverboots!"

…

After about ten minutes, Support Item Girl stepped out of bounds. "Thank you for your attention, and don't forget to enter the promo code UHSPORTS at checkout to get another whopping 10 percent off of your entire order! Have a great day!~"

Sensual Sadist Woman, who had been checking out Support Item Girl's store on her phone, looked up, and realized the battle was over. "Oh looks like she stepped out of bounds. She loses. Match goes to Glasses Guy Engine Legs." She kept scrolling through the store.

Engine Legs was angry. He marched up to Support Item girl and started gesturing authoritatively with his hands. "How could you? You made me look like a fool."

She huffed. "Listen Legs, this is the UH Sports Festival. It's about making a name for myself, even at the expense of everyone one else."

And she walked away intensely as the background faded to a watercolored still frame.

[Support Item Girl vs Glasses Guy Engine Legs END]

…

"That was crazy," Green Boi said as he scribbled in notebook. "She's really crazy, but she's also crazy talented. If she gave that hacking microphone to Mind Trap Boi, perhaps he could broadcast his voice into dangerous environments like hostage situations, and mind control the bad guys. And she's so ruthless, tricking Legs-kun into being her advertising dummy. She's a formidable foe. In fact, she could have forced him out of the ring, since she had control of him while he's wearing her gadgets. Oh, but, no, that wouldn't make sense, because whoever she went against next wouldn't let her clown them like that. And she showed off everything she needed to, so there's no point advancing to the next round…"

As he was muttering, Blushy got really annoyed, so she went somewhere else to sit down.

…

[Pink Acid Girl vs Honey Sweet Laser Belly]

"Why does Class 1-A keep getting paired up against each other!?" announced Mic Man. "Clap your hands for the boy with the gaudy belt, and the flashiest super power there is—literally! It's Honey Sweet Laser Belly!"

Laser Boi winked at the crowd and said, "Bonjour!" All the fangirls swooned.

"And he's fighting against the Pink Acid Girl from Class 1-A! Is she a monster? Is she an alien? I dunno! But she's got mad skills on the battlefield! Who will win? Let's find out! Battle, a-start!"

Green Boi scribbled in his notebook and muttered, "She's gotta dodge his attacks and get close and mutter mutter mutter mutter…"

And, yeah duh, Pinky isn't an idiot. Of course she dodged Laser Boi's rapid sparkle laser blasts. Then she used her acid feet to skate along the ring until Laser Boi's laser beams became slower and slower. And then she got in close, threw acid on his belt, and punched him. And he fainted.

"And she wins!" Sensual Sadist Lady declared.

Green Boi nodded. "I expected her to win, but damn she kinda whooped his ass."

Mic Man yelled, "What a powerful knockout blow! Ninja-sensei, what have you been teaching your students?"

"Proper techniques," he replied.

"You heard it here folks! And let's see some more of those proper techniques in action in this next match! Again, it's two Class 1-A students on the battlefield! What's gonna happen!?"

[Pink Acid Girl vs Honey Sweet Laser Belly END]

…

[Rich Tits vs Bird Guy]

Rich Titty Girl walked onto the battlefield and stared down her opponent. Mic Man was yelling introductions, but she wasn't paying attention to that. She was focusing on how the hell she was going to win this battle. As useful as her quirk was, it wasn't so great in one-on-one fast-paced combat. She had to take time to create stuff. Time she didn't have against an opponent like Bird Guy. With Little Peepers emitting from his belly, Bird Guy was quick in terms of offense and defense. She'd seen that during the Calvary Battle.

So then I just have to be quick about my quirk, she thought. I'll make a shield, and then I'll make a staff. And if he attacks directly, I can deflect the—

"BATTLE START!" shouted Mic Man.

And in the blink of an eye, Little Peepers launched toward Rich Girl. And in the blink of an eye, she formed a shield and blocked it. But Little Peepers kept attacking. Bam! Bam! BAM! The demon bird banged across her shield, pushing her back until, "You're out of bounds!" Sensual Lady shouted. "Rich Tits loses!"

In like, 5 seconds.

Mic Man cracked up with laughter. "Did he read her? He read her strategy! He knew she would make a shield, and then he only attacked her shield so he wouldn't hurt her! Damn! Is this the girl who got into the school on recommendations?! She didn't even put up a fight! Who recommended her? HAHAHA!"

And his laughter was contagious. The audience in the stadium followed suit, laughing at Rich Tits. "HAHAHAHAHA!" the crowds rang out.

"That was pathetic!" Mic Man continued. "Are those the proper techniques you've been teaching your students Ninja Eyes? Or maybe she just didn't listen to lecture?"

Ninja Eyes growled, "Shut up."

Mic Man felt a chilling vibe crawl down his neck. He cleared his throat. "Uh, anyway, the next contestants should head toward the stage now!"

Bird Guy quietly walked off the stage, while Rich Tits trudged away slowly, her head down. As the people in the crowd continued to laugh at her, she remembered the words her parents had said to her when she had first decided to apply to UH.

…

Rich Tits had told her mother and father about her intention to be a hero early last year. "Mother, Father, I'd like to be a hero," she declared during family dinner time at the Tits Manor. Her father, Mr. Richard Tits the Third, was a tall, well-built dark-haired Englishman, who always wore a dark green business suit—except to sleep, of course. He slept in the nude. Anyway, he simply laughed at Rich Girl. "That's nice my dear," he replied, patronizing her.

Her mother, Madame Wealthy Tits, was even more discouraging. She was a tall, dark-haired Japanese woman with a short, bobbed haircut, and huge, huge boobs. And she always wore an evening dress with a plunging neckline—except to sleep. She slept in the nude. "You can marry a hero," she had said.

"No! Mother, Father, I'd like to go to UH and study in the hero course. I plan to take the entrance exam in a few months."

"My dear, they'll eat you alive!" her mother said, gasping. Her father nodded. "Dear daughter, if you really do intend to be a hero, I shall have you enter the school the proper way."

"Which is?"

"Recommendations of course." He turned to his wife. "Do you still know the wife of the Prime Minister? Have her write a recommendation and I shall donate to her husband's political campaign."

"Darling, that's a bit too much," Mrs. Tits said. "I'll just donate to the school. It's simpler."

"Smashing idea, my darling. Smashing idea." He then continued to eat his caviar and lobster bisque. "But, I do say my dear daughter, while you are at that school, be sure to consort with only the most talented heroes. I cannot have my daughter befriending riff-raff."

Her mother nodded. "It's a shame that school is open to the public. I'm sure all sorts of riff-raff apply to attend there."

But Rich Tits shook her head. "Are you serious? Mother, Father, you can't pay my way into the school!"

"My dear," her father said, "you would never make it into the school otherwise."

So Richie knew that her parents had paid for her to get into the school. She knew that it wasn't fair. She knew that it wasn't right. Yet she still showed up to class on the first day because she intended to prove her parents wrong. She wanted to show herself that she could be a hero. And so far, she had been a star student in class.

Until today. Today, here she was, at the UH Sports Festival, being laughed at by millions of people all over the world.

Is this the girl who got into the school on recommendations?! Mic Man had said.

"Yes, I am," Rich Tits mumbled. "Yes I am…"

…

On the other side of the field, Bird Guy walked into the corridor leading underneath the stadium seats. Waiting for him there was a balding, short man in a black suit, wearing sunglasses. He was holding a black briefcase and smoking a cigarette. As Bird Guy walked by, the evil bald short business man scowled at him. He opened up the suitcase, revealing the fat stacks of cold hard cash inside of it. "You made the wrong choice, Kid," the man said in a shady business man accent. "I offered you A LOT of money to throw the match. All you had to do was let her win."

Bird Guy's eyes flashed. Little Peepers emerged from his belly, and grabbed the businessman by the neck. "Foolish mortal," Birdy growled. "I respect Tits-chan more than I need your ill-gotten money. As her friend, I know that she'd rather lose with dignity, that win by dishonesty." Little Peepers smiled demonically as he telepathically asked, Master, may I feed?

"Eat, my little birdy. Eat."

The businessman's screams of terror were drowned out by the cheerful laughing of the crowd.

[Rich Tits vs Bird Guy END]

…

[Spikey Red Head Dude vs Copy of Spikey Red Head Dude]

They both punched each other a lot.

They both got knocked out.

And Sadist Lady raised her dilly-do and said, "They both lose!" as they were carted away to the nurse's office.

[Spikey Red Head Dude vs Copy of Spikey Red Head Dude END]