Chapter 22

"Uhm...Hello?" I waited.

"Charlotte," Her voice was like ice—beautiful and cold.

"Hi," I said, my heart pounding.

"Are you alright? You sound funny,"

"I was sick,"

"Oh, poor baby...Why?"

"Hangover,"

"Where were you last night? You weren't in Kabukicho last night. I was waiting for you,"

"No...A, uh, friend, invited me out. I worked somewhere else,"

"Where?"

"I honestly cannot remember,"

Silence.

"Hello?" I asked.

"I found the men that raped you,"

I placed my hand on the counter, my head swaying. "What?"

"The other night. Those men. I saw what they did to you. I know where they live,"

"Oh,"

What the fuck am I meant to say to this?

"One has children. Can you believe that? What kind of par—It's a girl too. Cute kid,"

"Where are you?"

"They have a record too. So many whores have reported them and...nothing,"

"OK...What are you gonna do?"

"I don't know yet. Sorry. I had to needed to hear your voice. Did you get my texts?"

"Huh? No. My phone's terrible. I need a new one,"

"What phone do you have?"

"I don't know—a HTC? It was the only pink one. I got it two years ago,"

"Yeah...You need a new phone," She paused. "I like your goldfish. She's pretty,"

"Thanks,"

There was a noise. A male voice in the background speaking a foreign language. I only heard a bit, but he sounded young—teenaged.

I heard her sigh and snap something back in Swedish—which I speak. She let out a sigh.

"You're Swedish?" I asked.

Silence. "That doesn't matter. I have to go,"

"Ok...Can I ask a weird question?"

"Quickly,"

"What's your name? I don't like not knowing,"

"It's not important,"

"Please. Just give me something to call you,"

"Uh...Fine. Katherine. Like Katherine Howard,"

I paused, think of the bookshelf in my room. I loved Katherine Howard. She was my favourite wife, (along with Anne of Cleves). I had tons of books on her.

I gulped and swallowed. I went to speak, but found that she'd hung up. I didn't like calling her Katherine. I changed it to Anna. It was much less personal.

I put my phone down and stared at nothing, trying to compute what'd just happened. I only stopped when Pasha came in.

He apologised and asked if anything had happened. I lied. He couldn't do much about it anyway. He began talking about his new girlfriend and I tried to pay attention.

"What's wrong?" He'd asked.

"Hm?"

"You look ill. Did something happen again?"

"No..."

"Don't lie. Come on. Something happened, didn't it?"

I paused. "I think she was here again,"

"Your stalker?"

"I think she slept with me last night. My bed was warm and my history books weren't in the right places, and..." I held my head. "There was this note,"

He read it. "Christ...Fucking hell. Jesus—Right. We cannot stay here anymore. Get packing,"

"What? No. I told you; I can't—"

"Charlotte, it's a fucking fish—"

"So what?"

He went to speak, before inhaling like he was in pain. He smiled. "Charlotte, what is it about this goldfish that's so special? If you tell me, I might understand,"

He'll just laugh at me. Just like everyone else.

I scoffed. "You'll just think I'm stupid,"

"I won't. I swear. What's with the fish?"

I shrugged. "I didn't have friends when I was a teenager. I could only ever talk to Trev...and my toys. You would not get it, but she listens to me. She doesn't judge me. She loves me and I love her,"

"See? That was not hard. And I'm not laughing, am I?"

"I guess not..."

"Go on. I'll go and tell work what's happening and find somewhere for you to go,"

I hesitated. "Sure. Thanks,"

I ended up staying with Lydia, who volunteered to have me and my zoo immediately. Pasha stayed with his girlfriend.

"I'll be fine," He'd repeated. "Will you be OK?"

"I think...I hope. Just...Be safe, Pasha,"

"And you. I'll see you at work later, yeah?"

At work, Ryōma was particularly pervy that day. The second I got in he was on me, taking me into the disabled toilets and made me give him a blowjob. It was disgusting, and after he was done he left me to vomit in the toilet.

"Fisher, is that you in there?" Himari snapped, forcing the door open. She rolled her eyes. "This is the disabled toilet, you know,"

I choked, only vomiting more.

"I know you're autistic or whatever, but you don't need the disabled toilet,"

It was just acid coming up now, and it was so painful. But it felt good. Ryōma immediately had me do his paperwork, laughing when Himari told everyone where I'd been.

"Grow up," Pasha had snapped, walking in with coffee. "You okay?"

"Fine, thank you,"

"Where's Morimine? I need to see him,"

"I'm here. What's up?"

"It's about the sticker. I found where it's from,"

"Fuck. Uh, okay—"

"Fisher; out," Himari snapped.

I stood, but Ryōma placed his hand my back, stroking my back dimples. "She's busy in here, actually,"

"Doing your work," Pasha snapped.

"She's not bothering—"

"For fuck's sake, Sorokin—what'd you find?" Himari snapped.

"Right, so Yamamoto came to me about this image being like a...A double-image, if you will. It's a woman and a swan, and someone mentioned that being a possible link to Swan Lake—the ballet. So, it took me a while, but I looked into it and I think I found something,"

"OK, what?"

"The image belonged to a ballet company that was active in Sweden until twelve years ago actually—it all went quiet in June of 2000 after some kind of incident,"

"Incident?"

"It's hard to find anything hard. I still have to go through all the newspaper articles,"

"Ballet troop, right? Could've been something to do with an eating disorder or something? An accidental death, perhaps,"

"Right," Morimine nodded. "So, what's this got to do with our killer?"

"From what I found, the company was most famous for Swan Lake—obviously—and they were pretty global, it seems. But a lot of the girls had tattoos. In pictures they'd have this symbol—this swan-woman. Often it'd be on the hip—somewhere discreet,"

"Why?"

"I could not find that. It might have been like a friendship thing?"

"Are there pictures of the girls?"

"Yeah, here," I peeked over and saw a few pictures of groups of skinny little things with beaming smiles. A few of them were showing off their new tattoos.

"I'm sure there are more photos," Pasha continued. "But their site has not been touched in years. The domain name's probably about to expire,"

"So all the contact info—"

"Probably defunct, but I'm gonna call some other companies in Sweden, maybe they might give us a lead,"

"Okay, good work. You speak Swedish?"

"No, but...I speak English—"

"I speak Swedish," I said, raising my hand. Ryōma's breath was hot on my neck. Everyone was looking at me.

"Yeah, sure," Himari scoffed.

"No, really. It's not as good as my Japanese, but I speak Swedish,"

"That's perfect," Pasha said. "Ryōma, you will have to find someone else to work with. Come on, Charlotte,"

"Uhm, Pasha?"

"Hm?"

"It's three in the morning in Sweden. Seven hours behind,"

"Oh, right...So that's..."

"We'll have to start at about half three, if that works,"

"It'll take me a while to find any companies anyway. Why don't we do it tomorrow? You are busy today anyway, yes?"

"Oh...yes,"

"I bet she is," I heard Ryōma mumble.

I was actually really busy that day. I had my usual load and my session with Genesis Slawter—which went fine. Only Genesis insisted I go shopping with her, which I initially refused.

We went to Genesis insisted on buying me whatever I wanted. It was quite embarrassing, but I can't say I disliked it.

She didn't even like the clothes I picked. "Charlotte, why do you dress like that? It's shameful,"

"It makes me feel good,"

She looked away and picked up a fluffy pink coat. "You'd look gorgeous in this. Pink's perfect for you,"

"I do like pink—"

"Oh! Well, bonjour, mesdames!" Shuu Tsukiyama appeared.

"Tsukiyama!" Genesis had cried. "I should've known you'd be here!" She turned to me. "He's always around, isn't he? You're everywhere. It's creepy. I'd like you to stop it,"

"Stop what?"

"Following me. You're always there. Wherever I go. I don't like it. It's like you're stalking me,"

Wouldn't surprise me, honestly.

"Genesis, don't be so ridiculous. I've better things to do than follow you all day,"

"Like what? Are you calling me boring?"

"No offence, chérie, but you spend most of your days sleeping. Besides, I'm here with Monsieur Fuyuhiko—he's supposed designing one of our projects, and I want him to build my new guesthouse,"

"But you hate Fuyuhiko because he won the magazine cover—"

"I don't hate him at all,"

"He only got on the cover because he's gay and ugly so everyone thinks he's the next Andy Warhol,"

"Oh, Gen, that's not very nice," Fuyuhiko said, walking in.

Genesis shrugged. "It's true. Anyway, Tsukiyama, I think Charlotte would look good in this coat,"

"Oh, absolutely. C'est parfait. Hm, maybe it'd go with...aha! This, don't you agree?"

"Uhm, I—"

"I think that's perfect. Maybe this dress would go too?"

"Oh, absolutely,"

"Why can't Charlotte decide what she wants to wear?" Fuyuhiko asked.

"She can," Tsukiyama said. "We're just choosing a few outfits for her,"

"Charlotte, do you want to wear that?"

"Don't patronise her,"

"I wasn't—"

"She's not a child,"

"I wasn't saying—For fuck's sake—Charlotte?"

"Uh, yes,"

"See? She's fine with it,"

"I'm hungry," Genesis said, "And I'm bored,"

"Oh, sorry, Gen," Fuyuhiko snapped. "We'll just all stop what we're doing because you're bored,"

"Exactly. Tsukiyama, could you please pay for this? I'll give you the money,"

"How old are—"

"I wasn't talking to you,"

"Of course I will, you go," Tsukiyama turned to me. "You stay, I need you to try something on,"

"Uh, sure,"

"Fuyuhiko, I'm taking Charlotte to the bookstore after this, if you're interested. You might want to prepare for our competition,"

"Competition?"

"It's this stupid reading competition they do," Genesis said.

"It's not stupid," Fuyuhiko protested. "And Tsukiyama, you know I don't buy things,"

"What?"

"He's a minimalist. That's why he wears the same thing everyday. It's creepy,"

"It's practical. It means I can focus on my art. Speaking of, I'm having a get-together tonight—if you two wanted to come,"

I paused. Tsukiyama nudged me. "You'd like Fuyuhiko's house. You should see his aquariums,"

"Aquariums? You have fish?"

"Aquascaping's a hobby of mine,"

"Sure, I'll go,"

Fuyuhiko took Genesis to get food and I followed Tsukiyama around.

"What's your style, Charlotte?" He'd asked. "What do you like wearing?"

I shrugged. "I like revealing clothes, I like anything that's pink. I really like pink. I'll wear anything girly,"

"Well, there are plenty of pink things for you to wear. You'll need special fittings, we can't have you in children's clothes, can we?"

"I like them, actually. They are cute,"

"Oh. You're one of those girls,"

"Sorry?"

"Pardon. That was rude of me. I can't remember what it's called, a babydoll?"

"I don't know. I like dark things too—blood and guts—anything with animals. I'm kinda into guro,"

He smiled. "We'll find you something. Oh, I meant to say. I got you an appointment with my hair specialist. Hair like yours needs special attention, I thought,"

"Thanks,"

"And I've got some skin products for you. You have a little acne, I see,"

"Yes, that's great...Thanks. Only, who's paying?"

"Me,"

"Oh, no, I could never—"

"Oh, tais-toi," He brushed me away. "Do you have the money?"

"Well, no—"

"See?"

"And the clothes?"

"Of course. Like I'd let you carry on wearing that,"

"What's wrong with my clothes?"

"They're secondhand, chérie,"

"It's better for the environment, and you can get loads of vintage stuff. See this clown jumper? It's not even on Google,"

"That's a good point, but you can still have new clothes, and you're not some downtrodden prostitute anymore—so there's no need to dress like a seven-year-old whose father abandoned you in a car park,"

"But my dad did abandon me in a car park. When I was nineteen,"

"Oh, no, I'm sorry. Pourquoi?" He touched my arm.

"I got a girlfriend. He said I was a disgrace and that I was not welcome back until I sorted myself out,"

"A homophobe, charming," He sighed. "That can't have been pleasant, je suis désolée. Anyway—you want people to want you, don't you?"

"Yes,"

"So you have to dress like it. We need you to look like everyman's dream, oui?"

"I'd like that,"

"Bien sûr. So, we need you looking sensual, not just sexual, you see?"

"You. Don't. Need. To. Talk. To. Me. Like. A. Child. OK?"

"My apologies. Moving on. See, this pink coat is perfect. It's fake, which is cheaper, but—"

"It's classy,"

"Exactly. Now, we can pair this with anything, so..."

He bought me so much stuff that day—I felt kinda awkward about it. Genesis and Fuyuhiko had left when we'd finished, so Tsukiyama proposed we walk to Fuyuhiko's through the park.

As we walked, I took the opportunity to pry.

"I like you," I said. "You're quite fascinating,"

Tsukiyama had looked at me and chuckled. "Well, you're fascinating too,"

"Do you like me?"

He didn't say anything for a while. "You intrigue me,"

"But do you like me?" I stopped. "I want you to like me,"

"I like you—you're very interesting, like I said,"

"Do you think I'm pretty?"

"You're beautiful, you know that,"

"I can't even remember what I look like, all I know is sometimes my appearance makes me want to fuck myself and sometimes it makes me want to die,"

"I believe that's dysmorphia,"

"No...Do you want to fuck me?"

He stopped then. "What?"

"Do you want to have sex with me?"

He stared at me for a bit. "I don't know yet,"

"Sorry. You're not gay, are you? Only, I know you and Fuyuhiko had a thing, but I just...I need to know what you want from me,"

"You think I want sex from you? You're sorely mistaken,"

"Then what do you want?"

"What do you mean?"

"You just bought me loads of expensive stuff, you're promoting me for free, you have gotten me jobs, you're being nice to me and I know you were going to kill me. I want to know what you want from me. Why have you not killed me yet? After I found out what you were? Why are you doing all this?"

"Not for sex,"

"Then what?"

"I just find you interesting. When you find something interesting, what do you do?"

I paused. "I learn as much about it as possible, write an essay, and tell everyone I can, before working out for three hours because I got so excited about it,"

"OK, well I don't quite do that, but I just want to learn about you. Yes, I could've killed you, I wanted to...At first, I'd thought you'd do it yourself, but you didn't and then you started to intrigue me,"

"Does that mean I'm safe?"

"Safe?"

"Yeah, like...I kinda have a stalker, and I don't really want something else to worry about. So, as long as I'm interesting, you won't kill me, right?"

"I suppose so,"

"Right...Sorry. That was weird,"

I looked to the floor and stayed mostly quiet. At least now I knew why Shuu Tsukiyama hadn't killed me yet. I mean, I knew being his trainer would buy me time, but there were millions of better trainers out there, so I was disposable.

But apparently, it was because I was interesting, whatever that meant.

I didn't know why I was interesting, I just knew I had to maintain it. Surely, it would be easy? I just had to keep doing my thing and I'd be fine.

Right?

Well, no, I had absolutely no faith in myself. I knew I'd fuck it up, because I always—always—fuck things up.