A Thousand Times
I walked away from the dining table to answer mommy's call but my eyes stayed on them. Virgo looked so amazed at the sight of Beau and his father while Sting was frowning.
"Mom," was my greeting.
"Lucy, we transfered in T. Fiore Medical Centre. Balsam is too far from Apollo's business so we decided to transfer here. How's the case? Do you have any updates?" Mommy started.
"I... Uhm, I just know that Touka was caught along with other who escaped."
"What about the other people involved? Syndicates? Other allies in politics of Sen. Alabaster?" mommy asked.
I looked at Natsu. I don't know anything about what mommy wants to know. But I'm sure Natsu can help them though. I just don't want to disturb him in feeding Beau.
"I'll ask Natsu later, mom. I'll tell him to call you for the updates."
"You should. Tell him I want to talk to him. Ashley's looking for him. We need security and updates, understood?"
"Okay... Is Ashley fine now? What about uncle?"
"Ashley's still in pain. Your uncle is better now. The wound wasn't that deep. Ashley was the one who got hurt more. We also need to undergo stress debriefing. Your sister is still emotional because of what happened."
"Is that so? Okay, Mom, I'll see what I can do to —"
"Just ask Natsu to be here so we can hear the updates of the case."
"Okay," I said while looking at Natsu again. He's still busy feeding our son.
"Well then, I need to go to check on your sister."
Mommy quickly ended the call. I locked m phone and saw Sting staring at me.
"Your mom?" he asked, worried.
"Yes. She said they transferred to T. Fiore," I said.
Natsu turned to us, "I thought they weren't allowed by the doctor? Is your uncle okay? How about Ashley?"
Virgo started talking before I could answer his questions.
"Hmm. Daddy's concerned, huh?" She chuckled. Natsu looked at my sister with his serious eyes.
"Virgo..." I scolded.
Virgo just shrugged, "Well, who knows if he also fell for your sister, Lucy? It won't be a problem if it's for me because I'll gladly refuse —"
"I am not falling for anyone else," Natsu coldly said.
"Please, let's not argue. We're in front of the food —"
"You are not now because you found out that Lucy's single and you have a son. Of course, who would choose the poor copy when you can have the original? But I wonder what happened between —"
"Virgo..." I repeated, reprimanding.
"You were rumored to be in some kind of relationship. The media would never cover that unless there's something going on. And what about the painting?" Virgo said, her playful tone was replaced by a serious one.
"Virgo, stop it..."
Natsu's jaw clenched. He stopped feeding Beau. Our innocent and clueless son kept on smiling and staring at the food on the table.
"I brought that painting because it's a poor copy of Lucy's work and I didn't like it. And yes, I befriended Ashley during the time I was furious because of what happened. But you see, I don't fall in love fast and hard with anyone. I'm sure you've heard of that?"
Virgo pouted and nodded. I took a deep breath.
"I thought you just want to piss me off in that exhibit..." I whispered.
Natsu turned to look at me, "And that too," the corner of his lips rose.
I stopped my smile by biting my lower lip.
Sting cleared his throat. I went back to my seat beside Natsu and looked at our son who's asking for his food. Natsu started t feed him again. Sting, Virgo, and Aries were all staring at me. Virgo pointed Natsu using her lips before smiling meaningfully.
She probably thinks we're in some kind of relationship right now but the truth is that I still don't what our real status. I just want to enjoy the feel of seeing him with our son.
"I'll probably go to T. Fiore today. I'll check on mom and her family," I said.
"Why don't you call Loke. You have many things to tell him..." Virgo looked at Natsu before glancing at Aries, "Or... just daddy. I'm sure he already knows that your mom and her family's already here in Crocus."
"You'll go to T. Fiore today? You're leaving our son?" Natsu asked.
Damn it! Not that I want to leave Beau here. I can understand how Natsu doesn't want to be separated from our son even for a bit. It's only been a day since they've been together after all.
"We'll look after Beau. Go with Lucy... and besides, Aries here too," Virgo offered.
"Lucy, I'll call Aunt Jude. I'll ask about the updates on the case and the investigation," Sting said.
"Touka's already arrested and from what Drakes concluded, she has no other accomplices. This is purely here revenge for her dad."
"But we need to be sure. Might want to check on your team now for some updates regarding that..." Sting sarcastically said.
"Sting, please..." I begged.
I don't know how we managed to finish that breakfast. Aries took care of our dishes after that. Both Virgo and Sting are in the living room. Beau's beside Virgo while watching cartoons while I prepared myself for our appointment today. Natsu kept on following me even inside my room.
"Sting's here. We're leaving our son to him, really?" he insisted.
I dug my closet for my clothes. I let him tail me.
"If you don't trust him, then stay here and be with our son."
"Not that I don't want to be with our son but I can't leave you alone too..."
My cheeks warmed at what he said. I continued not facing him because of that.
"Virgo's here. Just tighten the security if you're scared. And also, mom's asking
you to please visit them. For the case and for —"
"My men kept on updating them about the case. I'm sure your uncle knows the latest updates of the case," Natsu explained.
I grabbed a bloody coloured body con dress and walked inside the bathroom. He followed me but I stopped him when he was about to come in.
"Ashley's asking for you. She needs your presence," I said.
Natsu frowned. I can shut him out now by closing the door but I didn't. I waited for his answer, "I'm not the damned doctor. But if you really want to go, then we'll go there together but I can't stay long. We'll go home here immediately," he said before turning his back on me.
I watched him as he dug his own things for his clothes. I closed the bathroom door and sighed. I understand his thirst for Beau and it is my fault.
We left Beau to Aries, Virgo, and Sting. I also didn't protest when he told me to ride in his Mustang. Natsu sat beside me in the backseat. He kept on making calls to different people. Be it about his realty or the Drakes.
I looked at the mirror and I saw Invel behind the wheels. There's also a young man in the front seat. I didn't know his name but I remembered him as one of the agents that Natsu gave me.
"Okay, got it, Zeref..." Natsu said in his nth call, "I also have something to tell you but I want to say this to you in person."
I looked at Natsu. His face is serious while listening to what his brother has to say.
"Yes... She certainly has too. Anyway, I'll set up a dinner anytime this week," he stopped to listen again. "Yes. But there's something else. I'll call you again."
He cut the line. I wanted to ask what he told his brother but based on our status now, I feel like I should just keep quiet. I need to leave him alone with his business.
We quickly went to mommy's suite when we arrived to the hospital. In there are some of Natsu's men. I also saw Daddy and Loke there who are talking to the agents. Loke clenched his jaw when he saw Natsu. I'm sure they already know since Aries and Sting told them.
"Natsu, I'll go in," I said, pointing at Ashley's room.
I won't go to uncle Apollo's room yet since he's still talking to his business partners.
Nervousness filled me as soon as I turned the doorhandle. I know mom will still ask for Natsu but I will stand by my decision.
Mommy and Ashley looked at me at the same time. My eyes rested in my sister. She looked pale and weak. Mommy returned her look on Ashley.
"You're with Natsu?" Mommy asked.
The tone of her voice on that one question already irritated me. It makes me feel like for mommy, it's a sin for me to be with him.
"Yes. He's outside."
"Why didn't you tell him to come in?" she asked.
"He's still talking to his agents and to daddy. Are you okay, Ash?" I changed the topic to stop the anger building up inside me.
"I'm fine," Ashley answered, "My stomach's just hurting."
"So... Natsu already know that you two have a child?" Mommy asked.
I turned to mommy. I couldn't hide my glare anymore. I want to supress my anger because our situation don't need it but I can't.
"He found out yesterday —"
"So great of you to tell him your secret at times like this? Look what happened, he cannot focus on the case now..."
My cheeks warmed because of anger and frustration.
"I didn't tell Natsu that we have a child. He found out when he went unannounced on my unit. Mom, let us not talk about this. I want to concentrate on Ashley's recovery..."
"You invited him on your condo so he found out that he has a son..." It was a statement. I hated it.
"I didn't. I was shocked when I saw him on my condo. That's all!" I said.
"Natsu won't leave you now because you have a child..." Ashley said.
"Look... Why don't you ask him to stay? I am not in some sort of competition here, for God's sake you are my family —"
"Family but you're choosing a man over it? What kind of family are you talking about?" Ashley shouted before grimacing because of the pain on her abdomen.
I stopped talking but the anger in me didn't.
"Please..." I calmed down, "I beg you to calm down and see reason. Natsu is not a thing! He can decide for himself and unless he'll tell me that he's leaving us for you, Ashley, it's when I'll let him go, okay?"
"How dare you say that, Lucy!" Mommy shouted while taking a stand, "You can see that your sister is suffering and you can still talk like that?!" her hand flew to my cheek.
I cried at the pain and agony I felt. I closed my eyes to control my anger and calm myself but I failed. My tears flowed like a water from a fall as I faced mommy.
"I'm suffering too, mommy!" I shouted, "Not just physical suffering! I'm also suffering emotionally! Ever since before! Ever since I've been born, I'm already suffering! In fact if this is a disease, I'm pretty sure I'm incurable right now but did you stop hurting me? No! You didn't, right?"
Mommy started shaking in anger. Her breathing became shallow and fast. Ashley stayed lying on her bed while looking at us.
"We are your family, Lucy! You're supposed to put us first!" mommy shouted.
"You're always the first for me! You! Every damned time, mom..." I said, "But now, I already have a child. My son needs a daddy. My son needs a complete family..."
"You were okay without a complete family!"
I couldn't believe what mommy said. I know the way she views things are veiled. I also know it was because of her want to give Ashley anything she wants. And to give Ashley everything, she'll sacrifice me. She'll hurt me to see his other daughter happy. Who'll make sure I'm happy then? No one. It's been like that since then. Since grandmama died, no one cared to check if I'm happy or not. But I didn't lashed at them for that. Instead, I made sure I keep them happy. Because I, myself, know how horrible the feeling of sadness is. Because I, myself, always feel like that!
"If that's the case mom, you don't want my child to experience a complete family too?" My voice trembled, "Do you love your grandson?"
She couldn't answer. The only thing I got as a reply is the pure anger in her eyes.
"Do you really love me? Because if you love me, you would also care for my happiness..."
I saw how her eyes reddened. Ashley didn't talk too.
"But you don't right? You'd sacrifice me just to make Ashley happy."
"Mom, she's comparing!" I ignored Ashley's shouts.
"You would rather rip me into pieces just to make your other daughter whole! If it's the case, mom. If you don't want me happy, then why? Why are you even throwing how we are a family to me? Why does it only apply to me and not to you too? You're my family! But why can't I feel that I'm your family, too? Why aren't you treating me as one?!"
Mommy gritted her teeth and moved her hand for another slap but I blocked her using my arm. I took a step back and wiped my tears.
"I did everything for you! I gave birth to you and you can't even be thankful for what I've done —"
"Thank you for that! Thank you for bringing me into this world! I am in love with this world, despite how painful my life was. I am still so in love with this life. And it's because of my son... and his father! So... if you're asking me to give Natsu up for Ashley, a thousand times no for you!" I bravely said.
I don't know where I got my strength to say that with courage anymore. I kept on crying but my voice stayed firm and loud.
"I am in love with Natsu Dragneel, my son's father! And unless he wants to let go of us, it's just when I'll rethink of my decision. But while he hasn't made his choice, I will never give him up!"
"You're very very selfish, Lucy! You've always been like that ever since. That's why mommy doesn't give you her attention! You always love the spot light! You always want to be talked about! You always want the attention! No! You're craving for it!" Ashley paused because of the pain on her wound.
"Yes, you are right. I craved for attention! I would always do because I never got it from the people I needed! That's why now that I have the attention from the man I love, I would never surrender it!" I shouted.
"Lucy!" mommy shouted because of my tone.
"I hope this is the last time you'll ask this, mom. Because the next time, I might stop forgiving," I said with seriousness dripping in each word.
Mommy's jaw dropped. I wiped my tears. As soon as the warm tears fell from my eyes, the door opened. I quickly turned to it to see who came in. Natsu's furious eyes met mine. His eyes were piercing me. I quickly wiped my tears.
"Natsu, dear... you're here!" mommy said while forcing a laugh.
"Natsu!" Ashley called in a cheerful tone.
I quietly cleared my throat and averted my eyes.
"I'll be outside," I said while walking towards the door.
I planned to just plainly ignore Natsu but he firmly grabbed my arm. "Why are you crying?"
I didn't talk. Mommy and Ashley couldn't talk too. I tried freeing myself from his hold to leave.
"Why are you... crying?" He asked with firmness, eyes still on fire.
Mommy laughed, "Natsu, Lucy's just emotional over what happened."
Natsu ignored what my mom said. I felt his hold tightened more.
"It's hurting me, Natsu. Let me go now."
"No..." he said.