Ch 44

Ben

I watched her from inside the base. She was swinging her arms around and dancing in the rain. There was a giant smile on her face and I could feel her joy through the bond. It was almost overwhelming.

She looked so at peace and beautiful as the rain fell down her face and drenched every part of her. Even the way the tunic she wore clung to every curve on her body…

Mind. Body. Soul

I suddenly began to notice the excitement course through my body and how it turned into flames coursing through my veins.

She doesn't desire you… she loathes you… that's why she's out there and not here with you by your side… her marrying you means nothing.

I shook my head and felt a shiver run down my spine.

I looked at Rey and drew from the light she was exuding. It felt warm and the cold voice in my head instantly stopped.

I walked out to Rey and caught her mid-spin. The rain was warm, it felt like a warm shower in the winter.

She smiled up at me and I could see the warm climate of the planet had given her a slight tan. Her freckles were more prominent.

She was such an angel…

I leaned down and kissed her. I wanted her in every way.

The kiss was soft at first and wrapped one arm around her waist and pulled her closer. The other hand caressed her face.

I wanted to be closer to her still, so close we became one person…

"Mnmmhm" she muffled through our kiss. I pulled away and looked down at her.

Her eyes were glossy… there was something mischievous about them…

"Not here… we should um… we should head inside…" she suggested.

If her mind was where mine was heading, then she was absolutely right.

She grabbed my hand and led me inside, the warmth from the rain suddenly leaving our bodies and we began to shiver.

"I t-think w-we sh-should-d ch-ang-g-e" she said between teeth chattering. I nodded, and we grabbed the clothes we had just bought and the food and the first stop, was our bedroom.

Rey

The bed in the middle of the room suddenly looked enormous and imposing. I knew that sex was a normal part of marriage and we hadn't yet… done the dee. It was strange, I was nervous, and I was terrified that I wouldn't know what to do.

I gulped and looked at Ben, was he feeling just as nervous as I was? I couldn't tell. My anxiety was blocking everything, even our connection.

"I um… I'm going to try and get some food ready. I'm kind of hungry, I'll be back in a few minutes?" he said. I looked towards him and I could see his eyes were kind of… gone. He was nervous too.

"Um yes darling, I would love that. I'm going to dry off and grab something else to wear."

"I'll do the same, you can take the 'fresher, I'll stay out here and change too" he said. I nodded and grabbed my bag of clothes and headed for the 'fresher.

Along the stands I had also picked up some other essential items like undergarments and a hair and toothbrush. I had also managed to grab sleeping shirt. It was white and tunic like. It looked like a man's shirt to be honest, but it was comfortable and something I wouldn't feel too self-conscious in.

I brushed my hair and realized it was getting ridiculously long. It was almost past my waist.

I had found a pair of old scissors in the 'fresher earlier, so I decided to cut to my mid back. The process didn't take as long as I thought, but I needed to get the nerves out.

So, I brushed my hair again, getting rid of any little strands left from the cutting.

I took a deep breath and told myself everything would be fine, that this was normal…

But the butterflies wouldn't leave no matter what I did so I put on my best brave face and walked out to the bedroom.

Ben was there in only sleeping pants. His hair was glistening, it was still damp, but it was so beautiful.

I always loved his hair. The color, the curls, how easily I could run my fingers through it…

I couldn't take my eyes off his bare top half. His arms were so muscular, but the skin was so soft, and his touch was always so gentle and yet he could easily kill anyone with a snap on his fingers.

He looked up as I approached the makeshift bed. I looked around and saw he had brought out some food and water. It was mostly some bread and some of the meat we had bought and vegetables.

There were four candles in a bowl looking… thing, to keep them standing up.

"I found those in the back of a shelf in the kitchen… I tried the light switch in here, but it wasn't working and it's getting dark out. I figured we could use them while we're eating at least."

I nodded and sat cross legged on the mattress. It was a little hard and uncomfortable, but it was better than the floor. I'd definitely had worse.

We ate in silence.

It was unbelievably awkward, I was still extremely nervous.

I was only really able to eat a few bites of bread and even less of the meat and veggies.

"You cut your hair?"

I nodded "Yea, it was getting too long and hard to manage"

The water I definitely scarfed down, I felt extremely warm all over, and it wasn't coming from the humid weather around us.

"I'm scared too… I can't feel you… I think we are… subconsciously blocking each other out with our nerves" he said, it was almost as low as a whisper.

"I have… never done this before… I'm scared Ben, I don't want you to not like it or… or not like me or… what if I do something wrong?"

He gave a sideways smile and he had a relieved look on his face.

"I feel the same way… and I… don't want to hurt you physically" he said looking down, I caught his ears turn red at the tips. He was embarrassed.

I took a deep breath and moved closer until I was kneeling in front of him. I took his hands in mine and looked at him until our eyes met.

"I want us to… try and I want us to enjoy it and just… act out of love. Can you promise you'll do the same?" I asked him.

He looked at me and leaned in to where our lips were barely touching.

"I promise" he said, and I crushed my lips against his.