It was a high dose, so high it was dangerous, in more than one sense.

"I'm so sorry," Kakashi repeated, dropping the used syringe on the floor like it has singed his hand. Rin's dumbstruck face, her huge, questioning eyes…quickly, he looked away.

But no…

Not her eyes. They were stolen, just like his were. Eyes that should not be in a living person's head but rest in peace with the dead. What a hypocrite he was. Had he not just lectured Micha's father about disturbing the balance the Shinobi system rested on? Was hoarding and using those powerful eyes any better? For a truly peaceful future, they would have to destroy all stolen Uchiha eyes so that nobody could profit from their power ever again.

And he… he would have to give back the eyes that were not his and become… nothing special.

Rin's body in his arms trembled and then began to shake. Violently. He tightened his grip on her, his deep regret forming a heavy lump in his throat.

Nobody in the room moved. The Noharas' faces were completely emotionless, like they didn't care in the least that he held something vulnerable and utterly precious to them in his arms.

Kakashi's fingers shook as he grabbed three pills from the pouch at his belt. He swallowed the first, its bitter taste filling his mouth like a warning. Painful heat surged in his belly and he stifled a groan. This was going to hurt.

He swallowed the second and when nothing more happened, the third. Sakura's serum had made it hard to access the remaining Uchiha blood in his system, he needed an exceptionally high dose himself. A fourth?

"Sealing Technique: Release!" he whispered, successfully unsealing his eyes.

The world turned red, so bright and so fast it was almost blinding. He could look Rin in the eyes again, now immune to the Genjutsu she was able to wield. She was still convulsing in his arms, obviously in pain, and he wanted to hug her tight and hide her face away so that he didn't have to witness what he had done to her.

"I am so sorry," he repeated, his own voice barely audible over the blood roaring in his ears. Those words were pointless and hollow because what use was an apology when he deliberately forced her hand like this?

Reveal your true self. Reveal your ambitions. Let's end this.

It happened. Triggered by the serum, the Uchiha blood in her system reacted just like his. Fast spreading ornaments appeared on her face, her neck, her hands, and the little horns of her tribe formed on her forehead. Eerie, beautiful and terrifying.

The Rin in his arms activated her own Mangekyo Sharingan and shook his arm off.

"You," she hissed, "how dare you."

All pretense was gone. Cold fury flashed from her eyes. This… this was the Rin from the cave, the Rin who had fought him, had urged him to remember his promises.

Kakashi moved back from her in haste. There was no good and no bad Rin. There was one Rin in two bodies and the only thing that had made them different was the ingestion of a berry from the God Tree and a bolt of lightning that he suspected had to contain orders, memories, a purpose.

"Switch it on!" she said with a growl, crouching low.

He remembered the key this time.

A word to fully open the Curse Seal, lodged deep inside his brain, previously hidden in the muddle of his imperfect memories - memories that had been hidden, altered, erased, recovered so many times over the years that he couldn't distinguish which ones were real and which ones were not.

Kakashi scanned the room again. Still, the Noharas had not moved a muscle but the expression in their eyes was one of intrigue now. He didn't welcome it because it might mean he was going to lose. The Fire Daimyo and his illegitimate son stared at what was unfolding before them with a mixture of shock and disgust on their faces, most likely trying to decide whether calling in palace guards was advisable or not. Micha's father stared at the scene before him with something like awe on his face.

All that Kakashi was interested in though was seeing Micha's bravely determined face and the nod if encouragement he gave him.

He knew he could trust this man. To the bitter end.

I will not lose myself, Kakashi vowed, his lips trembling, I will come back from this. I have to, Sakura is waiting.

He conjured up an image. A cherry blossom, swaying gently in the spring wind, inviting his touch, capturing the yearning for a sweet, innocent life that he couldn't have. He anchored the image firmly, in an untouched corner of his mind. He put three layers of seals around it. Untouched and now untouchable.

"Come to me," Rin demanded.

His reaction to the red goddess before him was utterly terrifying. He risked too much. He had no other choice.

With all the courage he could find in him, Kakashi whispered the word that unlocked him.

The Curse Mark opened up and flooded his senses with a new purpose, turning him into what he had been fashioned to be over all these years: Rin's obedient soldier.

###

Funny how the mind worked. Instead of coming up with a plan how to escape death at a mad woman's hand, a memory from long ago flashed in Sakura's head.

Of Kakashi, their unwilling Sensei, reading an Icha Icha novel up on a tree while the three of them labored below in the yard of a farmhouse. Her frustration had grown to about five hundred times the size of the dung heap they shoveled out of the barn over the day and because she could simply not bear it any longer, she had confronted her Sensei out in the yard that smelled of livestock and excrements. He hadn't lifted a finger to help the elderly farm wife cook dinner, hadn't bothered setting the table, hadn't cleared it afterwards nor had he offered help with the dishes. The only thing he had done was frequently look at the farmers' daughter who had made what Naruto called "cow eyes" at him from the minute he had reported for duty.

In the orange glow of the setting sun, Sakura yelled the rudest things at this unflappable man who had his nose buried in that pervy book again, questioning his worth as a Shinobi and as a teacher, heck, as a human being altogether.

She gave it her everything in those few minutes, but the only reaction her tirade had drawn from him was a slight lift of his eyebrows and a minuscule change of expression in his heavy-lidded eyes.

"I see," he had said and had put his Icha Icha book into his back pocket.

'I see' wasn't even remotely an answer to what she had hurled at him and the lazy response that was so typical of him had made her even angrier, so angry she almost hit him.

"You should let it out more often," he had observed, the corners of his eyes crinkling briefly before he turned his back on her. "If you want to reach your full potential, stop screaming in your head."

Kakashi had always been the one to put her on edge and by doing so, to edge her on.

"I can't teach you anything," he had said, later. How much she had hated him back then. Well, no, not hated... She had felt rejected, slighted, pushed aside. Her heart had shattered and she had cried into her pillow for hours. He had chosen to tutor Sasuke, later Naruto, but her… her he had not deemed interesting enough, not worthy of his time when all she craved was his praise.

After crying until she was all dried up inside, the anger had returned. If he didn't want to teach her, fine! She would find someone else, someone much better than him and she would make him sorry for it.

It had taken all her courage but she had finally sought out Tsunade and asked for her tutelage.

When Kakashi had beamed at her proudly when they had next met, she had realized that she had done exactly what he had intended her to do. He had nudged her to step out of her comfort zone, away from the mediocrity that she had so firmly believed defined her. His rejection had made her take her own life into her hands so she could reach the next level of her skills. He had pushed her from the shadows of her teammates so she could become her own sun.

Sakura shook her head and felt a rueful smile tug at the corners of her mouth. Had she ever told him how grateful she was? She would likely die without seeing him again.

But she would not go down without a fight.

Rin had a Mangekyo Sharingan while she had not done any combat training for years - but she had her strength, her chakra control and her determination.

And she knew her worth because of Kakashi.

"Bring it on," Sakura said, channeling chakra into her fists and lifting them up in front of her. Strangely, she wasn't in the least afraid… only regretful for the life she wouldn't have with him. Regretful that love wasn't enough to keep two people together forever.

Rin made a step in her direction, her eyes moving over her body with palpable arrogance. Sakura shifted her stance - better. Meanwhile, Mrs. Nohara still stood there completely frozen like a discarded puppet. From the corner of her eyes, Sakura studied her more closely, the rigid body, the vacant eyes… like a puppet.

"Are you controlling your own mother?" she blurted out in disbelief. Sakura tried to see chakra threads between the two women by squinting hard, but there were none. It had to be mind control, probably a special Genjutsu.

Don't look into her eyes. Funny that the voice of warning in her head sounded like Kakashi.

"She is not my mother, even if she made me," Rin growled, making a jerking movement with her hand, ripping Mrs. Nohara's body backwards, throwing her flat on her back with an ugly thud as her head hit the floor boards.

Sakura suppressed a shiver.

"How long have you been here in Konoha?" Sakura asked, trying not to look at the prostrate, still figure on the hard floor, trying not to think about what it meant. When it had started, how they had been fooled...

"Long enough," Rin growled, "long enough to see that you are the problem."

Had she been hiding at the orphanage perhaps? Or in Danzo's catacombs? She knew there was tunnels underneath Konoha where some of the more hideous experiments had taken place. Some of them had been made impassable by Tsunade but there were many more that they had sealed only perfunctory.

"I'm impressed," Sakura admitted. Then, a chilling thought. "Were you ever… did you work with me at the hospital?"

The Rin in front of her pulled a disgusted face. "Oh no. Healing is not for me. I like to inflict pain, as you will soon find out."

"Did Kakashi…"

"Notice there were two of us?" Rin laughed bitterly. "Apparently I am a good actress, he did not."

Sakura wasn't so sure that was true. Kakashi had kept vital things from her, and she had strongly suspected it had to do with Rin. That hadn't helped her jealousy of course, but she was a grown woman, she knew how to hide it. A good thing she hadn't realized Kakashi was meeting with two other women who had a hold over his emotions. Had he protected her?

"What is it that you want?" Sakura asked, suddenly itching for the fight that was inevitable.

"Isn't it obvious?" Rin asked slowly, narrowing her eyes at her viciously.

Kakashi?

It couldn't be this simple or this ridiculous, could it. It wasn't possible that Rin had escaped death simply to covet a man she would never get. It had to be something bigger, something more meaningful.

"Is it revenge?" Sakura asked, almost hopeful.

Revenge had wreaked havoc in Konoha before. Revenge had driven Obito to side with Madara. Revenge had destroyed Sasuke and his family. As horrible as it was, revenge was an almost rational sentiment, a strong and sustained reaction to a felt injustice. Sakura understood revenge, at least in theory. But if this was not about revenge...

"Revenge for what? I knew you wouldn't understand," Rin chuckled, "you with your sheltered, perfectly normal life. You are so plain and unimportant you should never have mattered."

Mattered to… Kakashi?

"Get out of his life," Sakura felt anger surge through her and she grabbed onto it for strength, "let him move on, he had such a hard time because of you."

Understatement. Kakashi had very nearly been broken over Rin's death. Almost, but not quite which made all the difference.

"Never," Rin sneered. "He is my anchor and I am his. We are nothing without each other, from the very beginning."

Red hot jealousy laced through Sakura at this claim.

"You hold no power over him anymore," she hissed. "And that won't change even if you kill me."

"We will see about that," Rin said condescendingly - and her Mangekyo Sharingan blazed from her face.

Sakura caught the merest glimpse of a triple swirl pattern, felt the tug of Genjutsu but managed to ward off the attack with a hasty set of hand seals. Her innate Genjutsu skills better be up to this.

Rin's attack came out of nowhere.

Her fist caught Sakura squarely under the chin, ripped her head back and lifted her off her feet. She saw stars, almost blacked out, but it couldn't be over that quickly. Had she not come out of the war as someone pivotal for their success, people looking at her with admiration in their eyes on the streets?

Sakura slammed her fists against the wall right before impact, ripping a hole into the side of Kabuto's snug little house, turning her body in the air so she would land on her feet.

Or something like it.

Sakura staggered on the slightly wet grass and almost fell. She felt acutely dizzy and wished she hadn't eaten that heavy croissant so recently. Even more so when Rin punched her in the stomach. Sakura remembered how to flex her muscles from Taijutsu training to prevent the worst, but without situps every day, there were not that many muscles to protect her. She doubled over, ready to vomit - sensing Rin's next attack from above.

Instinctively, Sakura let herself fall, grabbing onto the leg that had attempted to break her back with both hands. A twist, impact. Rin landed on top of her like a sack of stones, driving the wind out of her. But even if she couldn't breath, Sakura had her fists ready.

She punched as hard and fast as she could at whatever part of her opponent she would reach. She hit Rin's shoulder. The bone shattered with a sickening sound.

Rin roared in pain and slammed her head down onto Sakura's face. Pain blossomed out from a nose that broke like a twig, blood flowing down her face warm and sticky.

Rin wouldn't let her come close again after this, dancing around her in dizzying speed, always just out of range. Fighting without being able to look into your opponent's eyes was hard, Sakura had to try and read the movement of Rin's feet to predict the direction of the next attack. Since she couldn't quite see those feet due to the tempo with which they moved, she got it wrong often. They exchanged blows ever so often, it hurt like hell. No time for jutsu, Rin was too fast.

Rin escalated by throwing Shuriken at Sakura with her good hand. The weapons came from all directions but only ever grazed Sakura's skin - it was almost like a brutal game. Rin seemed to be going for her upper body and face, soon leaving many badly stinging cuts on Sakura's cheeks, chest, shoulders and arms. Blood was blurring her vision. But she kept going, attacking and defending.

And then, Sakura felt her in her head. As if she had put her fingers inside and was clawing her way in. A genjutsu.

"I won't let you in!" Sakura screamed, pushing against the sensation with all her might. The world tilted precariously to one side and she lost her footing when her eyes fooled her into believing up was down and down was up.

She found herself on her back, unable to move.

"You are even more annoying than I thought," Rin hissed, bending over her, filling her field of vision like a comet about to destroy the world. Sakura pressed her eyes shut, but it was too late. She was inside her head already.

"What about you not remembering him at all? That will be fun…"

Sakura's head exploded in pain as those invisible fingers began to pluck at memories, trying to rip them out, to scatter them.

Sakura screamed as she opened up the Strength of a Hundred Seal, letting her chakra reserves fortify her and her senses.

"You. Get. OUT!" she screamed, pushing against the force that kept her immobile, coming to her feet in one swift movement.

"I shouldn't have held back," Rin acknowledged, "you are stronger than you look."

"Fuck you," Sakura pressed out between gritted teeth, "you are insane. We will lock you up and I will treat you with my serum until you're nice and docile like a kitten, weeping with regret because you threw your chance of life away a second time."

"You have no idea!" Rin screamed. "The only choice I ever had was choosing Kakashi, Kakashi who was then manipulated into killing me because I developed intentions of my own! I deserve to live the life I want, I deserve it!"

"Just get out of my village," Sakura growled, "go back to where you came from and never come back."

"How dare you stand in my way!"

Rin's next attack was more brutal than any of the ones who had come before. Her fury was palpable in the crackling air like a putrid stench. But Sakura knew fury too. This replica of a woman had made Kakashi suffer all his life. She had to pay.

Attack, defense. One could almost believe they were evenly matched. Almost.

"Hey, you! Lady! Get away from her!"

The shout pierced Sakura's dimming awareness, her head caught between Rin's legs, her own hands scratching the woman's torso more and more feebly as her air was cut off.

It was Naruto.

"Look who's come to your help," Rin drawled, "the fox boy."

"Aren't you Kakashi Sensei's woman?" Naruto asked astonished as he stepped closer, his fox essence making him glow yellow. "What are you doing with Sakura?"

"Get… away…," Sakura gurgled, shifting her weight so she had a chance to punch Rin in the face. Not good enough. She couldn't breathe. How much time had passed? Was it getting dark already?

"No, I should stay," Naruto said, "Sakura, you are badly hurt."

"Let go of her!" another voice demanded. Husky. Lazy. Cold.

Sasuke. Sasuke had come too. Sakura felt relief pulse through her, a sudden influx of hope. Before she remembered...

"More little mice want to play?" Rin spat, letting go of Sakura to come to her feet. "You should have stayed away."

A low whistle sounded from her lips and figures appeared all around them, clad in fur clothes, faces hidden by oni masks. So many. An army.

"Careful," Sakura coughed, but her vision was wavering. It wasn't dark yet, couldn't be. Her eyes were deceiving her.

"She is mine," Sasuke said cooly, addressing Naruto, "you take on her men."

"Let me help…," Sakura gurgled and came to her knees. Sasuke would not be able to fight well. Her serum was weakening him. The shots were pushing back the sickness in his blood but it also affected his ability to fight. She had had no time to find a way around it yet. He knew that.

"Stay put!" Sasuke ordered her. "You've done enough damage to yourself."

There was no concern behind his words, only cool observation, but Sakura felt fortified by his presence. But when Sakura's vision cleared a little, she saw that Karin had arrived too. She was pale, her red hair framing her determined face like a halo of flames, her hand on Sasuke's arm.

"Jackpot," Rin grinned at the sight. There was a second of warning, a musty, metallic smell before three towering Susanoos appeared around her.

It suddenly made horrible sense to Sakura.

This wasn't really about Kakashi, was it. And this wasn't about her either.

"Sarada!" Sakura screamed. "We must protect Sarada!"

Anbu members materialized all around them, a sharp command sounded as they went into battle formation.

"Yamato Sensei!" Sakura tried to identify him, to warn him but the white animal masks all blurred in front of her eyes, "Yamato Sensei, it's only a diversion! She's after Sarada, not us!"

Sakura fell on her knees. Her voice held no power, nobody had heard her. She was so very weak... all around her, weapons clashed and jutsus flashed as she toppled over, feeling how her life trickled out of her, one red and sticky drop at the time.

There were no glorious deaths. Only pointless ones.

###

Kakashi opened his eyes.

For a moment, he felt strangely trapped, as if he had struggled to breathe a second ago, his limbs feeling heavy and useless. Before he could understand why it felt so sickeningly familiar, the feeling went away and he blinked, trying to orient himself in the dim light.

He was in a large, comfortable bed. Instead of walls, there were plants forming a deep green tapestry of life all around him, making the air fragrant and fresh. This place… it made him happy, didn't it?

Someone was holding his hand.

Though he should know who it was, Kakashi turned his head to have a look - and winced from the massive headache that laced through him.

"Hello darling," Rin said and smiled sleepily. "Have you slept well?"

He wasn't exactly wearing much. More precisely, he wasn't wearing anything at all. Even though it was his habit to sleep naked, it felt so wrong he quickly moved away from her to the edge of the bed, covering himself with the bed sheet.

"Hm," Kakashi cleared his throat. It felt raw and painful as if he had screamed all night.

"Here," Rin sat up to pour him a glass of water. Kakashi blinked and blushed. She was naked like him, her small nipples hardening when they were exposed to the cool air.

He drank the water down in one go, but it didn't help against the headache nor the pain in his throat and it sure did not help with his mounting confusion.

What was she doing here with him?

"Bad dreams again?" she asked with a worried frown and moved closer to him.

"What are you doing?" he asked, his whole body tensing.

The pressure in his head wouldn't cease, no, it multiplied when he looked into her shining eyes. He knew what felt like this. He knew… but couldn't grasp it.

Suddenly, he felt an urgent need to look at himself in a mirror. But that meant getting up, walking around in front of her naked.

"Did I have a notebook on me?" he blurted out.

"Notebook? Why?" She was still moving closer, putting her hand onto his. It felt too warm, too sticky and he shuddered.

"I think I need to see it."

"What did it look like?"

Don't tell her.

"Uhm… black?"

"Just lie down again," Rin said softly, tugging on his hand demandingly, "you will find your notebook, don't worry. Relax. Be happy."

The windows. He needed to look outside the windows. Was it spring yet? He had no sense of time. Where was this? But he knew, didn't he. A house in the forest. His ninken lived on the third floor with their extended families. There was a wild little boy in the forest who sometimes stole food from him, food he deliberately left outside to bate him.

It was his sanctuary. A dream.

It was all wrong.

"Come back to bed," Rin purred seductively. "We are nothing without each other, don't you feel it? I need you."

Oh shit. He was in trouble.