When the night has come
And the land is dark
And the moon is the only light we'll see
No I won't be afraid
Oh, I won't be afraid
Just as long as you stand, stand by me

Stand By Me - Ben E. King

The end could not come soon enough for Bella. It was proving impossible to set everything aside for even a moment so she could focus on final exams. She feared the test for her history class the most, which was riddled with dozens of names and dates that were impossible to keep straight even when her head was clear. The margin between passing and failing was feeling a little too narrow for comfort.

It was mid-morning, and she was already buried under a veritable mountain of books and notes, trying to quiz herself on the Buchanan administration.

"I'm heading out, kiddo!" Charlie called from downstairs. "I'll be back in time for dinner!"

"Bye, Dad!" she responded.

She sighed miserably as she turned the focus back to the task at hand. This wasn't working. Half-baked ideas popped in and out of her mind, accompanied by an equal amount of "how's" and "what if's" that sought to drive her mad. But despite all her worrying about logistics, the greatest hurdle to overcome was how she was going to part with everyone. Part of her was tempted to up and leave, just disappear into the night without a word. Some of it was the pain and guilt that came with facing her father and the Cullens, and some of it was the very real possibility that they would try to stop her. There was no doubt in her mind that Charlie would all but lock her in the station house if she were to come clean to him, and Edward...well, she wasn't ready to think about Edward.

Resigned to not getting anything done, she slid off the bed, careful not to disrupt its other occupants, and made the journey down the steps to the kitchen for a snack. Crunching into a bright red apple, she found herself staring into empty space with no rhyme or reason. Jacob might know what to do, if he could be serious for half a second. No. She was supposed to be working. Well, hearing his voice would help. His absence was part of her problem, after all.

Isn't it always?

Tossing the core into the trash, she dialed the number and waited impatiently as the phone rang and rang without an answer. Finally, there was an answer.

"Clearwater & Black," said a gruff, deep voice.

"Uh, hi. I'm calling for Jacob?"

"He's not here. Call later." And the line went dead.

She was, after a second of shock, rather miffed. With understandable indignation, she hung up the phone and returned to her studies, muttering about manners the whole way. Did the guy recognize her voice, and had the rift between her and the pack really grown so wide? That seemed unlikely.

When she called again before her father returned home, there was no answer. It frustrated her, but she decided to take his word for it. He didn't take a message, but surely he would tell Jake that someone called for him, and he'd know it was her, and he would call back.

That didn't happen. Studying for the rest of the week was pure torture on top of the radio silence. Confidence in her ability to finish her college career with a bang was shrinking. Still, she chugged onward with the knowledge that, as long as she passed her exams, that degree would still be in her hand. A degree was still a degree, whether you aced everything or made it only by the skin of your teeth. With her thoughts revolving around her current predicament, it was increasingly looking like it would be the latter. When the phone finally rang for her, she nearly pulled a muscle trying not to sound disappointed.

"Hello, my love," Edward purred. "How was your first exam?"

"Good, good," she replied absently. "I'm sure I passed, but I think my mark will be barely up to snuff."

"You have the other two tomorrow, and then you'll be done, right?"

"Mhmmm." Her finger curled around the cord.

"Perfect. That will give us plenty of time to prepare."

"For what?"

"Your graduation party, or course." A low chuckle rumbled from the other end. "You didn't really think the Cullens were going to let you get away without something to mark the occasion, did you?"

She gulped.

"Y-you don't think that's an awful lot of partying? What, with the wedding coming up and all?"

"Nonsense," he replied matter-of-factly. "The wedding is about us. This party is about you."

Layer upon layer of dread. Like peeling an onion, each one pungent than the one that came before it. Another party. Another occasion to tug at itchy tulle and taffeta. Another obligation to smile and toast and pretend she was thrilled with her choices. Another night beside her adoring fiance, the guilt accumulating like too much water behind a dam, waiting to burst and break his heart a second time. But that assumed that things would work out as she hoped, and she had long since learned that fate was rarely on her side. She made one final attempt after dinner, wondering if he could talk once the workday had ended, but that was unsuccessful as well. He wasn't there. Again. Her fingers twisted nervously, searching for some explanation to grab onto, but there was none. Only silence.

There should have been no greater feeling of freedom than to be released from the last exam she would ever take. At last, her thoughts and her free time were completely her own. No need to shove her cares onto the back burner to make room for obscure minutiae that she was going to forget anyways. She could devote herself to thinking things through, or even just letting herself think about Jacob, unfettered by other things. And yet, it was more difficult now than before. How funny that she had been using schoolwork to enable her procrastination.

It was tempting to just hang it all and appear, but her taste for spontaneity was soured by days without word from him. She worried that her confession to him had done more harm than good. It wasn't something she ever hoped she would have to tell him, especially when he already seemed so troubled, but she couldn't see any other way. After all, if she couldn't be truthful with Jacob, then there was no hope for her at all.

Her father's thunderous footsteps sounded on the front porch, the usual signal that he was home for the evening.

"Hey there, kiddo," he sang, removing his hat and holster. She looked up at him from her spot on the sofa.

"Hi, Dad. How was work?"

"Oh, you know. How was your first day of freedom?"

"Good," she replied, noncommittal. "You want me to go get started on dinner?" He cleared his throat.

"Actually, I was thinking you and I could go out." Bella's mouth twisted into a confused smile. "I'm sure the Cullens already have something in the works, but I was thinking you and me could have our own little graduation celebration."

She hesitated, moved by his sweet gesture while also worrying that she might miss a call from Jake, but she couldn't deny him this. For all he knew, she was getting married soon and would be moving hours away from Forks, and he would be alone again. Some quality time with Charlie was in order. She rose, smoothing the wrinkles out of her skirt.

"Sure, that sounds nice," she said with an appreciative smile. "Just let me get my shoes on." He was watching her slip them on her feet and begin lacing when his gaze landed somewhere in particular.

"Where's your ring?"

Shit.

"Oh, I was cleaning the bathroom earlier and I took it off," She explained hastily. "Bleach isn't good for jewelry, you know. I'll just run up and get it." He grunted in response.

She had grown to hate the damn thing. Regardless, she was stuck with it until further notice. Keeping up appearances was key. Surely she could do that. She had years of practice.

Something was afoot. She could taste it. Leah had watched him go up and down like a yo-yo all week, and it was getting annoying. He would wander into the office for no apparent reason, then wander back out and nurse a beer while she and Seth worked. She would have told him to either work or take a hike, but that felt needlessly cruel, given...well, everything.

Paul's continued presence did not improve the situation. The chip on his shoulder made the place unnecessarily tense. She wondered if something new had transpired between him and Jacob, but Jake only shook his head. It was strange; Paul had been particularly outspoken with his opinions on Jacob's departure. He made it crystal clear that it was an idiotic idea and would only nudge him further away if he came back alive. In a bizarre plot twist, Sam was reportedly on the same page, though why Paul insisted on radiating pure contempt now that he was home was a mystery.

Jacob was definitely not a mystery. There was no way that his reserved state was just another fluctuation of the wind. There was something else going on, and she needed to know before she lost it and found herself dumping their bodies into the quarry.

She looked up at the clock hanging on the wall, the second hand stuttering in place as it always did.

"Hey, it's closing time," she said, getting the attention of the other three.

"Thank God," Seth declared, shutting the hood of the weathered Ford in front of him. "I've gotta shower before my date."

"Glad she's changing you for the better." She turned to Paul. "I need you to give him a ride home. My bike started making a weird noise and I don't wanna ride it until I make sure it doesn't explode."

"Why don't you get Black to take him home?" he protested.

"Because I don't know shit about motorcycles and I need him to look at it for me. You can stay, right Jake?" She gave him a pointed look.

"Sure, sure."

"Fine," Paul grumbled. "Hurry up, kid." As soon as they were out of sight, she turned to him and asked, exasperated:

"So what the hell is going on with you?"

He turned his back away from the wind to light another cigarette.

"Nothing." She rolled her eyes.

"Oh, don't give me that bullshit. You've been huffing and puffing all goddamn week and smoking like the French. Something obviously happened."

With little additional resistance, he sighed and imparted to her the basics of his late-night escapade, generously omitting the more salacious details that she really didn't need to hear in the first place. She leaned against the wall and listened in without comment. His retelling was all over the place, with fondness, then frustration, then worry, before finally settling on apprehension. She couldn't say she blamed him.

"Wait, you're telling me you did it again?"

"Uh, yeah," he replied sheepishly. "Once you get the hang of it, it's not that hard to replicate."

"Where?" Her voice was raised in disbelief.

"...The office." She groaned, burying her face in her hand.

"Ugh, I thought I smelled something in there. Way to fly under the radar."

"I know, I know." He sucked in a breath. "Paul was about five minutes away from walking in on us, too."

"Stupid," she said sternly.

"Look who's talking."

"Hey," she barked with indignation. "Sam was one thing. Bella is a whole other ballgame. If anyone else hears that she's been down here, especially with what you two have going on, all hell is gonna break loose. What exactly do you think you're gonna do then?"

"I'll have to come to her."

"And what? Have her husband make a space for you on the couch?" He visibly winced at the word.

"She's calling it off," he said quietly.

Oh, boy.

The depth and sincerity of their feelings for each other were not in question. Bella had proven that to her time and time again, and this giant idiot would risk it all for her. The problem laid with everyone and everything else. The walls were pressing in around them, inching closer every day, and it was only going to get worse. She's seen this movie before. She knew how it ended.

"What are you going to do after that?"

"I don't know. I've been trying to come up with something for days, but I'm just going in circles." He tossed the butt into the dirt and ground it in with the toe of his shoe. "I can't think straight anymore. She should have called by now. We don't have time to fuck around with this. Every day that goes by is another day closer to the wedding. I swear to God, Leah. I'm losing my mind."

She pursed her lips, watching him rake his fingers through his hair. She didn't want to give him false hope. That kind of loss would only grind him down into a fine powder. But maybe it wasn't about hope. Maybe what he needed was a reality check and a smack upside the head. That was her specialty.

"She'll leave with you," Leah said plainly.

If you would quit being chickenshit.

"I hope so." He looked away.

It was clear that this question had weighed on him for much longer than he let on, and she understood why. It didn't matter how much Sam loved her, or how much she fought against the bullshit inflicted upon them. In the end, he was too weak. The memory raised a lump in her throat. Sometimes, on those nights where her lingering grief squeezed around her throat, she wondered if it was all predestined, if they were doomed from the start. In hindsight, it was clear that fate had nothing to do with it. Though their love was long dead and buried, history did not have to repeat itself.

"You need to get a grip, Black," she snapped. He gazed back at her, wide-eyed and confused. "Quit whining, get your head screwed on straight, and go talk to her. You're not a kid anymore. If you keep this up and everything goes to shit, you'll have nobody to blame but yourself."

He set his jaw. Pissed off Jake was an improvement, because it at least meant that he was motivated. It probably stung, but she didn't believe in babying men, and she sure as hell wasn't going to start now.

"You're probably right," he said begrudgingly. She flicked her own smoke into the dirt and went further into the garage in search of her personal effects.

"No, I am right," she called back firmly. Upon their retrieval, she sat astride her bike. "You're smart. Figure it out." She paused to revise her statement. "Just don't bring her onto the reservation again." He didn't care for that, either.

"I mean it, Jacob. It's bad news. If someone finds out you've been seeing her, and here, of all places, you'll be up a creek, and there won't be jack shit either of us can do about it. You got it?"

He nodded, chewing on the inside of his cheek as she kicked off. She said it, but the real miracle would be if he listened. Nobody else bothered to. Despite her warnings to him, she resolved to keep an eye open on his behalf, if for no other reason than to prevent this from completely blowing up in his face.

Christ, I am going soft, aren't I?

The faint ticking noise in Jacob's head went ignored for the rest of the night. He hated when Leah was right. No one in their right mind would give her any opportunity for it, or the resulting smugness would make her intolerable. Nevertheless, he couldn't help but be a little bit touched. It was becoming increasingly apparent that she gave a shit.

An outsider looking in would not see the good intentions buried under her caustic delivery, but he knew her better than that. It seemed that, somehow, she had started to crawl out of the black tar pit of her own misery. Losing a parent as a child was bad enough, as he could attest. Being abandoned by the only one you've ever loved, only to find him happily adjusted to his new life-the one he was supposed to have with you-could have been the finishing blow. In the years since, it looked like that was going to be the case. He and Seth believed that she would need looking after for the foreseeable future, her venom and snapping jaws a warning to anyone who might try to get close to her, like the twitching tail of a rattlesnake. It had been another reminder that he was needed here. Another stake securing him to the land. Another pang of guilt whenever he fantasized about being literally anywhere else. And yet, somehow, Leah figured it out. While she was never going to win the Miss Congeniality award, there was hope for her. It gave him hope that their little world would not fall apart without him.

The next day, he was greeted at the shop not just by the usual suspects, but Sam as well. Seth and Embry were finishing up the job from the night before under his watchful eye. He trusted them with tires and oil changes, but the electrical system was too much of a liability to let them handle on their own. Though electrocuting themselves was a distinct possibility, the wellbeing of the car was of greater concern. It was comforting to have some sense of normality for once, with Quil loafing about in front of the blaring radio and Seth's good-natured interjections balancing out Embry's wise-guy routine, but it was still incomplete. With time, it seemed that everyone had tacitly accepted that the gaping hole in the pack was permanent, that Jared was never coming home.

Paul did not make an appearance, to the relief of many. The death-rattle of summer was already sweltering without that ball of hot air around. That didn't do much to settle Jacob's nerves, though. Every now and again, he caught Sam fixing him with an unsettling stare from the corners of his eyes, which felt an awful lot like he was about to be taken out in a mob hit.

But nevermind all that. He needed to think. He wasn't going to show up at Bella's doorstep, or her windowsill rather, empty handed. He had an idea where they could go, which was a start, but when? How? Would she even agree to it? Money was the other matter tugging at his sleeve. There were his army wages, but he'd already set that aside to take care of Rachel and their father. He had squirreled away some money here and there in a sock in the back of his dresser-his "Oh, Shit" fund, as he called it- but it couldn't be more than twelve or thirteen dollars. That could only go so far.

"Jake, there are other ways! You could take out a loan or get a second job or...let me pay for it! I've got some money saved from my job-"

He sighed. Even with Bella back in his arms again, that night was too painful to think about. However, it did reassure him that she had always been willing to find a solution, and where there was a will, there was a way.

The boys scattered like pigeons once closing time was called. Normally, he would have yelled for them to get their lazy asses back here and clean up, but he felt no need to deprive them of the last few nights of summer. He circled the shop, picking up wrenches and errant bolts and screws while Leah flipped through the day's receipts. He was about to reach for the broom when Sam interrupted.

"You can go, Jacob. I'll finish up here."

"It's alright," he replied. "You've got Emily and Ruthie waiting for you."

And I could use the cash.

"She's with her mother," he said. "I'll take care of it. You go on home"

Jacob relented and handed him the broom. It was days like this where he wished he'd agreed to be chief so he could boss Sam around for a change. Whatever. More time to mull things over, he supposed.

An uneventful family dinner and an episode of The Munsters capped off the day. Rachel pushed her food around her plate, but said little to him. He probably shouldn't have told her he intended to leave because it had clearly brought her down. It was still too early to be dark, but he decided to head out regardless, kissing his sister on the top of her head as he passed. She didn't ask anymore.

When he arrived at the Swan house, parked some distance away and walking through the trees so as to avoid suspicion, her Chevy was still parked in the driveway. He smiled to himself in the gathering twilight. He began his wolf howling, half seriously and half hoping he'd get to see her come running to the window with her unamused pout. She was so cute when she was angry. But there was nothing. He gave up and began scaling the tree beside her bedroom, but it was empty. He jiggled the bottom of the window and found that it was unlocked. He slid inside.

Quiet as a tomb. He shouldn't be there. His eyes darted around the walls, the bed, the desk, not quite sure what he was looking for, until he noticed the uninterrupted surface of her bedside table. Bella was definitely not home, and wherever she was, she had taken the ring with her. He tried to shake off the sudden spike of nausea. It was time to leave. He proceeded carefully back down the way he came, conscious of the fact that darkness had not properly settled over him yet, and booked it.

Seeing her was going to fix everything, he thought. Just a few minutes to see her, kiss her, touch her to make sure she was really there. There were so many things he needed to know and so many things he needed to tell her. None of that was going to happen tonight, and his imagination was threatening to take the wheel and steer them both off into the weeds. There would be no rest for him. Leah's words echoed in his mind.

She'll leave with you.

But how was he ever going to be certain? At this rate, he was going to have to burst into the chapel with his objections and carry her out in full regalia while the congregation looked on in horror. He would give anything to see the look on her groom's face if that happened. God, Jacob hated him. He wanted to finally slug him and see if his blood really was blue. Then he saw her face. He switched the engine off in front of his driveway, and let out a hard breath, hanging his head as he gripped the handlebars.

No, he'd never do that to her. She would bend over backwards to keep from hurting someone, even at her own expense, even if they deserved it. It would hurt her too much, and she would think less of him. She would see him as the angry, no-class, backwoods delinquent that greeted him in the mirror every morning.

Wouldn't it be funny if that was what it finally took?

He chuckled darkly to himself.

Then it all began to slowly fit into place. This wasn't just another self-deprecating joke; It was the truth. Bella never cared about any of that. She knew exactly who and what he was from the very beginning, but she kept coming back. Even though she saw him more completely than anyone else in the world, she still had the gall to fall in love with him. He pushed her away, and she came back with a vengeance. Bella didn't want the secrecy. Bella didn't care. He pulled out his wallet and retrieved a weathered piece of paper, folded, opened, and re-folded so many times that it was beginning to tear at the creases. The outside was smudged with dirt, and the margin punctuated with a black thumbprint of dried blood.

"...I would have stayed. I would have figured out what to do. I didn't get the chance to try.

I loved you too, Jacob. You said you wondered how things could have been different. Maybe if you had stuck around long enough, you could've found out."

She wasn't deluded. She knew. She'd always known. He was the one with the thick skull, the one that couldn't see that she chose him, that she kept choosing him. Nothing was for certain; The only way forward was to trust her, so he did.

He settled in for the evening, letting his sister know he was home in an effort to ease her worrying. It would not last long. The peace was broken by someone pounding on the front door as if their life depended on it. He rose to his feet with a groan and shuffled to the door. When he opened it, he found the two eldest of the pack staring back at him with death in their eyes. Paul lurched forward, his shoulders heaving with rage, before Sam blocked his path with an arm in front of his chest. Jacob had never seen them like this. Not when he was disciplined at school. Not when he punched Paul in the face. Not when he confronted Sam.

"Outside, Black. Now."

A/N: Hello, friends. Sorry that it's been a while. I'm almost finished writing the last chapter. I think this is going to be the second to last one, and the last one is going to be long, so strap in.

I'm considering writing an epilogue. What do y'all think? Let me know in the comments. Smash that "Like" button and hit subscr-*distressed strangling noises*