A/N Just a warning that Christian is 15, and so his opinions of what it means to be a man are very shrewd. Statistics show that many men see being a victim of sexual assault as an attack on their masculinity, which is extremely toxic and something I obviously disagree with. However i wanted to write his character as realistic as possible. Hope you enjoy x

*Christian POV bonus*

The events that followed my incapacity and breakup with Ana were, for lack of better words, shit.

My parents came home the next morning to find a poorly attempted clean-up of the house, and their youngest son with a bruise on his head, cuts on his arms, and hazy pieced together memories of the night before.

They questioned me relentlessly and I chose to tell them I'd gotten into a bit of a fight, but it was sorted out now. They were perpetually 'disappointed in me' but nowhere near as much as Elliot. Much to his chagrin, he was grounded along with me. He even had a further month added because he was supposed to be in charge.

As for Leila drugging me, I hadn't told anybody apart from Ana. And she didn't give a fuck. If she didn't care, who else would? Plus, a small voice at the back of my head kept echoing that I was a pussy. What kind of man admitted to being sexually assaulted by a five-foot-nothing girl? My parents would probably think I had serious issues and have me shipped off somewhere. They'd think I couldn't look after myself properly. Couldn't keep myself out of bad situations. It would just reiterate the narrative that I was soft. That there was something wrong with me.

Elliot had come to my bedroom after we'd both been grounded. He told me that Ana had shouted that I'd been drugged and wanted to know if it was true. For once in his life, he actually looked sincere. I shrugged and told him I wasn't sure. He urged me to talk to someone, but I told him to back off and that it was all his damn fault anyway. We hadn't really spoken since then.

The following day at school, Ana broke up with me in English and I resolved to take her up on her bitter last words. Find another girl to torture. I would, and then I'd see how she reacted. How jealous she would be. I knew it was shitty, but I didn't care. She'd dismissed me. The girl I loved most in the world had told me she didn't care about me being drugged. All she cared about was the fact that I'd dared to speak to another girl and accept a drink. If that was her only concern, then I would ignore her just as she'd asked.

Instead of heading to the cafeteria, I tracked down Leila Williams. I'd found out a lot about her from Elliot's My Space. She was into parties and pot. Just as expected, she was smoking with some guys behind the school sheds. She smiled when she saw me. Actually fucking smiled. In broad daylight, she was tiny with huge eyes and hair just like Ana's. It was unnerving to say the least.

"I need to talk to you," I spat out.

Her friends laughed but she dismissed them and came over to me.

"Want to go for a walk?" She asked casually, as though nothing had happened between us.

As though she hadn't spiked my drink and groped me.

I walked further ahead, over to a few trees. Nobody else was around. Leila stood in front of me and looked up at me with a smirk.

"Did you want a repeat of Friday night?" She asked, stepping closer and looking around to check nobody was there. "I could give you a blowjob this time."

I backed away into the tree.

"You drugged me," I spat out.

Unsurprisingly, she laughed.

"Drugged you?" She asked. "Are you serious?"

I stepped closer. She didn't even reach my chin. "You know what I'm talking about," I spat angrily. "You drugged me and then touched me without my consent. Is that how you get your lays? By rendering young boys paralysed? I couldn't even move."

Her smirk disappeared and she looked at me angrily. "You're actually being serious aren't you? I would never drug someone in order to fuck," she barked. "From what I seem to remember, you enjoyed our night very much Christian. I didn't see you protesting or trying to push me away. I thought you were asking for more. If I thought you were drugged, I wouldn't have touched you. You might think I'm a slut, and maybe I am, but I'm no fucking rapist or roofier. If you couldn't move, that wasn't my fault. Maybe you should ask your so-called friends what they gave you."

I looked at her, studying every facial expression. Every word. She didn't seem to be lying, but…there was no other possible explanation. As soon as she offered me her drink, I had started feeling funny.

"You gave me the drink…" I blurted. "You offered me a drink and I immediately started feeling funny."

Recognition flittered across her face. "My friend Danny gave me that drink," she said quietly. "He told me to offer you a drink…to introduce myself. He said you needed a girl to teach you how to fuck, but I didn't think anything was in the drink."

Danny.

I remembered how he'd given me a drink earlier in the night with a big smirk. Had I started feeling funny then and just couldn't remember? Did he not give me enough and decide to send Leila over with a stronger dose? Everything was a mess. I had one goal, and that was to find out who the fucker was that drugged me.

I barged past Leila and headed to the back of the fields where Elliot always sat with his friends. Today there was only Elliot, Michael and Danny. I spotted him instantly, leaning against a tree and smoking. He looked up as I approached.

"Did you put something in my drink?" I asked roughly. "The night of the party?

He looked at me dumbfounded and shrugged. "Don't know what you're on about," he said, taking another drag.

"You put something in my drink, and it wasn't strong enough," I continued rapidly. "I didn't react like you thought I would, and so you sent Leila over with one later on. A stronger dose."

I watched as his face paled, confirming the truth. Elliot looked to me and then back to Danny.

"Did you drug my brother? He asked quietly.

Danny stood up then and tried to laugh it off. "What's a little GHB to loosen up?" He asked shakily. "He didn't have to drink it. I didn't force him."

All I saw was red.

That was it. He was going down. I stepped closer but Elliot beat me to it and punched him square in the face. Blood spurted from his nose as he let out a string of curses.

Elliot turned to apologise to me, but I was already walking away, scared I'd do something stupid and end up in jail.

Danny would pay big time. I'd make fucking sure of it.

A few days later, I tried out for the football team. Without Ana, I needed something to occupy my time with. Plus, I was sick of being a dork. Someone that people thought needed to be drugged in order to get laid. Elliot wasn't the only Grey who could be popular.

I tried out with Brody and both of us made the team.

"You finished with Ana for good?" He asked in the locker room when we were getting ready for practice.

I ignored him.

"It's a pretty big deal," he continued. "I just wanted to know."

I turned to face him, anger rising. "We're finished," I bit out. "Does that make you happy? Want to have a crack with her now?" I asked.

He shook his head and came closer. "I'm sorry Christian. Really. But no, I'd never do that to you. I'm over Ana now," he said honestly.

I sat down on the bench, trying to fix my hair.

"We're on the football team now anyway," he smirked. "Think of all the hot girls available. Ana's cute but you know…these girls are fire."

I felt another rise of anger. Was he trying to imply that the cheerleaders were better than Ana? They certainly were not. Ana was…everything.

"Ana's real," I defended. "Those girls are fake."

"Not all of them," he laughed. "Wait till you see Harriet Paige."

I brushed past him on my way out to the pitch. He followed behind, still laughing.

I saw Harriet Paige, or Hattie as everyone called her, later that night at the diner everyone went to after a game. Brody had a car, so he drove us over. Michael, Elliot's friend, made the introductions. She was sat drinking a milkshake with a bunch of other girl's, but she stood out by a mile.

Her hair was a deep red that caught the light when she turned. It hung waist-length, like a curtain. But it was her eyes that were magnificent. I'd never seen eyes so green – against golden tanned skin. She drummed the glass of her milkshake with long red nails and I thought they were the sexiest thing I'd seen in a while. Her top was low cut and she had on short shorts.

She caught me staring and I turned quickly, embarrassed. She wasn't like the other girls. Nothing about her was fake. She barely even wore makeup.

"Gorgeous isn't she?" Brody whispered at my side.

I didn't answer him.

"Apparently she thinks you're cute," he said, and I answered too quickly to be casual.

"Who said that?"

Brody laughed. "I've got my sources."

I pushed him.

"What do you think then? Hotter than Ana and Kate?" He questioned.

I ignored him.

It felt wrong looking at Harriet, but I couldn't help it. She was hot and I'd be lying if I said she wasn't. But hot was different to beautiful. Ana was beautiful, but she didn't know it, and therefore didn't capitalise on it. Girls like Hattie and Kate knew they were hot. Ana was innocent…sometimes too innocent. She hadn't even known what an orgasm was, let alone known that I wanted sex. I'd been happy to move at her pace, but lately…my hormones were completely on overdrive. It was out of my control.

Later, as everyone started leaving the diner, I noticed Hattie lingering behind. She shot me a furtive glance before saying hi. I said hi back and then Brody offered her a lift home. She sat in the back with me and started talking. We liked a lot of the same things. The same movies and music. She even wanted to go into business too.

For the first time in weeks, I thought I was starting to feel excited about a girl.

There was a party later that week. It was only for the football team and cheerleaders which I was glad for. I couldn't bear to see Ana right now. She still hadn't spoken to me; a fact I couldn't quite wrap my head around.

I was drinking beer from a can. Michael had a joint and I smoked a bit. I was sitting with Harriet and she was laughing at dumb shit I said. When she moved forward to kiss me, I kissed her back. Her lips were soft, and she tasted nice, but my stomach didn't clench. I didn't have butterflies. I didn't understand. I liked her. She was a really nice girl and undoubtedly gorgeous. Why didn't I want to ravish her?

With Ana, all it took was a glance. A roll of those powder blue eyes and I wanted every part of her.

I pulled back to clear my head. I went to get a glass of water when she called me back, holding out my phone.

"It's a girl," she said with raised eyebrows.

I grabbed it immediately.

"Ana?" I asked. "Is that you?"

Was this it? Was she finally calling to apologise?

But then she said something sarcastic about my girlfriend and I lost it. I slammed the phone down and almost crushed the glass in my hand. Is this why she'd called? To torment me? Hadn't she done enough? Only she could make me lose my mind like this. I felt like I was spiralling again…

Hattie immediately started fussing around me, but I pushed her away and strode outside to breathe in the fresh air. I started to think. Maybe I wasn't attracted to red heads. Yes, that would be it. I would find another girl. Another brunette with light blue eyes. Leila flashed before my eyes. My body had reacted to her touch…she'd know exactly how to touch me. How to calm my raging hormones. I shook my head quickly. I couldn't. It would be wrong.

I sat down on the grass, not caring that it was damp. For just a moment, I wished that Ana was here. Tucked underneath my arm as I stroked her hair. Looking into my eyes as I kissed her…

I shook my head again. If Ana didn't want me, I wasn't going to beg. If she could discard me entirely, based off of one mistake, perhaps I'd been wrong about her love.

A/N It seems Christian is in a bit of a mess. What do we think? Have our opinions changed? Are we still team Ana or team Christian? Love to hear your thoughts! – Elizabeth x