The four headed out to a taco place just down the street from the back alley. After having their fill of tacos thanks to Allison, the three who were visually of legal drinking age raided the liquor store before going back to the hair salon where Allison worked since she arrived in the 1960s.
The group sat around the salon, drinking and listening to music on the radio. Allison, with alcohol running through her, began informing the others about her husband, Ray. They had apparently gotten into an argument before leaving the house.
"The nerve of that man," she growled, taking a comb to Klaus's hair," I mean, one thing goes wrong, and he's on the warpath. I mean, doesn't know who I am? No, no. No, Ray, you know exactly who I am. You just can't handle it. I'm-I'm protecting him."
Rachel was disrupted from her vodka by the sound a soft snap. She glanced across the salon at Allison and Klaus. The snap had been Allison putting clips in Klaus's hair. She smiled as she looked beside her at Vanya. The girl was using finger guns to fake shoot the line of empty beer bottles in front of her.
"Ow. From what?"
"The end of the world, for one."
"Is the world really gonna end in six days?" Vanya asked.
Allison looked at Rachel and Vanya through the mirror.
"Well, it did last time, and we did everything Five could think of to stop it."
"The answer is yes, Vanya. The problem is Five comes up with great ideas. Successful solutions are…rather elusive."
Klaus groaned and got up from his chair.
"Hey, wouldn't it be weird of Five grew up all hot?" he questioned," Wouldn't that be weird?"
Rachel smirked to herself as the sisters protested about how gross that would be before they all came to the same realization at once. Someone in the room had seen Five grow up. All eyes turned to Rachel. She raised her vodka bottle to them before taking a pull.
"To all your discomfort, he is incredibly hot. Granted, after a while, he was fairly unkempt in the-"
She waved her hand in front of her chin, referencing a beard but the word escaping her. Allison scrunched up her nose.
"Ewww."
Klaus turned around toward the protest as he stood in the center of the salon.
"Please, Miss 'Luther was my lover,'" he retorted, making kissy sounds.
Allison waved the hand that did not have alcohol in it at her brother.
"We have never even kissed."
"Yeah, but you guys were making little sick moon-dog eyes at each other all through puberty and breakfasts and all that."
Rachel pointed at Klaus and then Allison.
"That is totally accurate. Your eyes were like magnets. Finding each other everywhere you went."
Vanya spun around with an amused look on her face. Allison sat in Klaus's former seat, propping her foot up on a stool.
"Aren't we all brothers and sisters, or…?" Vanya questioned.
Klaus snorted with a grin as moved behind Rachel, stroking her silky hair with his free hand. The other was occupied with a black flask.
"Not me!" the girl crowed cheerfully, taking a drink.
"Well…technically, it-" Allison started.
"'Technically?' If you have to word…use the word 'technically,' you're already in trouble," Klaus pointed out, giggling.
Allison loudly interjected as Klaus began pouring whiskey into his flask.
"Okay, can…can we focus? I mean, clearly we're not saving the world tonight, but maybe, maybe, we could at least try to save my marriage."
"No!" Klaus protested," No, because that's like…that's like asking a nun how to hump someone's leg."
Rachel had a feeling that phrase would still be confusing to a sober person. None of the women there knew what he meant.
"I mean, who in this room knows shit about relationships? This one?" he asked pointing at Vanya.
Rachel raised her hand but got ignored, so she waved it away.
"In secret love with some farm Frau."
"Her name's Sissy."
"Which is an improvement on her previous love interest the serial killer."
Vanya looked at him with concern, sitting up in her chair.
"What?"
Allison waved it off saying "Later."
"Meanwhile, I'm carrying a torch for a soldier I haven't technically met yet, and Luther is in love with his sister."
"Okay, again, we are not biological."
"Face it, the healthiest long-term relationship in this family was when Five was banging both Rachel and that mannequin."
Rachel took the biggest swig of her alcohol she could manage.
"FYI…" she sniffed, trying to process her words," He was only banging me…but no…it is not a great example of a functional relationship."
Klaus stretched an arm to her as if to say "See?" and looked back at his sisters.
"The only thing the Umbrella Academy knows about love…is how to screw it up."
Allison and Vanya raised a glass to that comment, but Rachel withheld by shaking her head.
"Forgive me if I hold me and Five's current relationship to a higher standard."
The Hargreeves in the room turned to her. Allison pointed at her.
"You know, that brings me to a question I've been meaning to ask."
Rachel went to drink more of her bottle but found it empty. Cursing, she put it down on the counter beside her.
"Dazzle me."
"How, in forty-five years, did you two not have kids? Or did you leave one in the apocalypse somewhere?"
Rachel pounded the counter with a fist a couple of times before turning in the chair with a fake smile.
"Well…technically speaking that would have only been possible for about thirty years of our domestic partnership. I guess plus these past two weeks, eh, whatever. That is if…I could have kids. Which…I can't."
Eyebrows around the room were raised. The radio was the only sound in the room as the three in the room processed her words. Allison leaned forward in her chair.
"You never told me that," she stated, almost accusingly," Did you tell Vanya and not me?"
"Wait…how do you know you can't and just…didn't?" Vanya asked.
Rachel picked up the whiskey bottle and looked around for a glass, not wanting to be as unclassed as she had with the vodka.
"Oh, no, I found out when we were all still teens. I told no one. Five was the first, actually. Now you three. That serum really did a number on my body…functionally. Seems it just shriveled me on up like a prune."
Klaus made a face and clutched at his groin area.
"I take back everything I ever said about wanting to take that serum."
"I'm exaggerating a little, but no…you really didn't want that. Besides, imagine if I could have kids. How many kids would we have had by then? Ugh, the idea of raising even one in that environment. Not to mention, could you imagine Five as a parent?"
Shudders went around the room at the thought. Rachel made a face at them.
"Okay, it wouldn't be that awful, you whiners. The point I'm trying to get to is while he has mentioned spending the rest of our lives together and…kind of implied marriage…how can it happen if every time we go somewhere the end of life follows us? And, the hero complex your father instilled in us makes settling down so complicated. I mean-"
Rachel pointed at Allison.
"Do you know what I'd give to have a house to call my own? A-And pictures! Pictures on a damn wall showing love and lives lived. Me? I would love to decorate a house. But we're always on the move, always living off the adrenaline, always trying to survive. I mean…I died in a previous timeline apparently. It's exhausting…but I love Five so…that's my life."
"You could tell him that," Vanya suggested.
Rachel raised an eyebrow at her. Klaus and Allison both let out cynical laughs. Vanya nodded her head in understanding after thinking it through. Klaus patted Rachel's head.
"Oh, sweet baby, you married into the wrong family."
Rachel removed his hand, annoyed. The group was quiet for a minute before Vanya spoke up again. Klaus lit up a cigarette for himself.
"How do you guys deal with this?"
"What?" Allison asked of her sister.
"I mean, all of it. The time travel, feeling people's emotions, seeing the dead, the end of the world…"
"Well, I get really high," Klaus noted, sitting down in a chair by Rachel," Rachel and Five do it really loudly without consideration for the entire neighborhood. Allison…Allison…lies to herself."
Rachel pinched Klaus's arm very hard while Allison kicked the stool her foot was on so forcefully that it rattled across the room to him. He stopped it with his own foot as it lost momentum.
"Hey! I bruise like a peach!" he protested before looking toward Vanya, "And you…suppress all your emotions deep, deep down until you…you blow shit up."
"Yeah, I'd really like to not do that anymore."
Rachel got up and went behind Vanya, wrapping her arms around the girl's shoulders and hugged her. The woman smiled and put her hands on Rachel's arms.
"We'd truly appreciate it," she told her best friend, kissing her cheek.
"Well, you've got six days, missy," Klaus told her.
Allison, still in a bad mood, had begun to take a curling iron to her hair.
"What the hell are we supposed to do with six days?"
Klaus shrugged at her through the mirror.
"Party? I don't know."
Rachel stood up as Vanya sat up straighter, her feelings registering some confidence.
"I'm gonna tell Sissy that I love her," she announced.
Klaus looked at his sister in shock while Allison watched her through the mirror with concern. Rachel leaned back against the counter as Vanya turned toward Klaus.
"I don't want any secrets."
Allison turned and nodded, pointing her comb at her sister. Klaus nodded while Rachel gave a thumbs up.
"Yeah," they all agreed, but Allison continued.
"Yeah, yeah, you're right. Yes, 'cause, you know, if…it's all gonna go tits-up, the least I could do is be honest with my husband. And you can be honest with Five about wanting a stable life."
Rachel's eyebrows lifted as she blinked rapidly at Allison.
"We're all participating in this exercise? Yes, let me tell Five I want a stable life someday before we die from a nuclear blast!"
"Better than never saying it!"
Rachel grumbled, but could not argue with the woman's point. Despair emanated from Klaus as they spoke.
"Oh…does that mean I have to face my cult? I just hate group breakups. It's why I stopped dating twins."
Vanya threw up her hands.
"This family's amazing."
The rest of them in the room started cackling with laughter. The three of them all got up from their seat at her words.
"Yeah, sure."
"Whatever you say, Vanya."
"Okay, let's not get ahead of ourselves."
The standing three fell into a group hug that they opened to their final member in the group.
"Come here, Vanya."
"Come on, get over here."
She leaped up and bounced over to them. As the four of them hugged it out, the radio started up a new song.
"Oh! You guys!" Allison gasped, "I love this song!"
She ran over and turned the song up. It was Sam Cooke's "Twistin' the Night Away." When she came back, she led them all in dancing in the open spaces of the salon. They used every inch of the salon they could, thoroughly enjoying the moment of forgetting all their troubles and just dancing. When the song was ending, they all collapsed back into the chairs they had been sitting in before. Allison looked around at the group.
"Well…we should go make good on our deals, huh? Let's all tell the truth."
Rachel pulled her hair in front of her and began braiding it.
"So, you were serious? That isn't just the alcohol?"
"I'm serious."
After finishing her braid, Rachel tossed it back over her shoulder, feeling the hair coming undone almost immediately.
"Only because I love you crazies, sure. Everyone tells the truth. Deal?"
"Deal," two convincing and one begrudging voices rang out.
The four parted ways. Rachel moved down the street and back through Morty's back alley. It was dark by the time she made it back. She was just about to open the door in the back alley, when she sensed someone she didn't know step into the alley. She turned to see a calm feeling old man, looking somewhat undernourished by how gaunt he was. She waited, monitoring if his feelings shifted, but he reached her without a waver in his emotions. She was then handed an envelope. He then turned and left.
Rachel looked to her left and right, confused, before opening the envelope. She pulled out an invitation. At the top it read "From the Office of Sir Reginald Hargreeves." She frowned.
"Wait, really? 'To my Prusuers: I, Reginald Hargreeves, request the pleasure of your company-' Oh, pleasure my ass. This man…"
She read the rest to herself, noting that the dinner would be tomorrow night. An address was provided at the bottom. Tapping the invitation on her hand twice, she turned and went upstairs. She was relieved to feel Five appear in her power's boundaries. Moving faster up the stairs, she entered Elliott's while holding out the invitation. Her partner swung around from his spot in the kitchen.
"Did you get one, too?" she asked, closing the door.
"Jeez, Rachel, I was ready to kick you back through the door. You know better than to just burst into places just because you know who is in the room."
She wiggled the paper at him, causing him to take it. He read it through.
"This must be for both of us since we've only been seen together. This is perfect. We can now get Dad's help and, hopefully, sort this whole doomsday issue out. That is if Diego doesn't try to stab him in retaliation."
Rachel went deeper into the kitchen and started making sandwiches for their dinner. Having been left alone for most of a day, finally, Elliott seemed to be catching up on some much-needed sleep in his bedroom. She grinned as she worked on the meal.
"When Diego gets back, he is going to kick that poor man out of his bed again."
"Well, we'll be out of Elliott's hair soon enough," Five noted, "By the way, are you drunk? I smell vodka and whiskey."
Rachel grinned and shook her head at him.
"You're like an alcohol bloodhound. Yes, alright? Allison bought Klaus, Vanya, and I tacos before we all got drunk at her hair salon. I'm good now…I think. Aside from the room tilting every so often, I'm coherent."
Finishing with the sandwiches, the two sat down to eat at the kitchen table. Rachel looked at her partner, who was seated next to her, munching on his sandwich.
"What happened Five? I can tell you had a not so pleasing encounter with Lila today."
Five swallowed his food before shaking his head at her. He then gave her one of his intense looks.
"I ended up following her to a paint warehouse of some kind and after fighting her, realized she's with the Commission."
Rachel frowned.
"Another assassin? Getting in with Diego is deeper than they usually go."
Five wagged a finger at her.
"No. The Handler sent her."
Rachel choked on her sandwich. Luckily, she coughed it right back into her mouth before dying.
"I'm sorry," she said around the murderous bite," I thought Hazel…You know what, never mind, that woman is already a demon, so returning from the dead may just be one of her many skills."
"And even better, Lila is her daughter."
Rachel stared at her sandwich.
"That…makes complete sense. She got to Diego to get to you and accidentally fell for him. But now that they've fallen out, the plan is still in motion because she went back to mommy. Since you made it back here, I assume she needs you for something?"
Five, who had been eating, glanced around the kitchen.
"She wants to be in charge of the Commission."
Rachel made a horrified face.
"Please tell me you said no. That woman having that much power? That'd be beyond terrible."
"Yes, but she offered to change the rules so that we could all safely leave and return to 2019 without any apocalypse problems."
The girl narrowed her eyes.
"Okay…and she wants you to do what? AJ would throw a fish fit before letting that happen. The Board of Directors would never let her be in charge."
Five gave Rachel a look that said she was on to something. Her face crumpled into one of concern.
"What?"
"She wants me to take out the Board at one of their quarterly meetings. She said I was free to bring you as help if I needed it."
Rachel put her sandwich down on her plate.
"And you said…?"
Five put the rest of his sandwich in his mouth.
"I said I'd think about it," he said around the bite.
The female sat back in her chair and rubbed her temple. Five reached out and put his hand on hers.
"Hey, if Dad can help us, we won't need her help."
Rachel put her other hand on his.
"Five, if you help her this one time, who says she won't ask for more. The woman is manipulative, conniving, and-"
"I'm aware of her nature. I'm hoping we can go another way, okay?"
Rachel ate her sandwich quietly for a while, pouting slightly. Five kept reading over the invitation his father had sent. After finishing up her meal, she cleaned the dishes and put them on the drying rack. After drying her hands, Rachel turned to Five.
"Allison made the four of us swear to tell our truths."
Five turned around and looked at Rachel with a frown.
"Okay? And what truth do you need to tell?"
The blonde rubbed her hands together, trying to figure out where to start. Five, noticing, got up and went over to her.
"Let me guess," he said, taking her hand and tugging her toward the second bedroom," You all complained and shared way more than any of you would if you were sober."
Rachel smiled.
"It was pretty nice, actually."
As they got to the room, Five closed the door and gestured at Rachel.
"Alright, what is the secret?"
Rachel sat on the bed and folded her hands in her lap.
"Five, you know I love you."
"Well, this can't be good…"
"Will you please…hush?"
Five grinned but he motioned for her to continue. She bit her lip slightly before saying in a rush.
"I want to settle down someday. You, a house, maybe a pet. We don't have to have a pet, actually! We'd probably be cat people, but I don't want to clean a litterbox. Nevermind. You and a house are good. But a house. Not a small room at the Commission. A house. You. Me. Pictures on walls. Decorations, planning things…together."
Five stared at her. It almost looked like his brain had stopped working for a moment, which was highly unusual. Rachel gave him an awkward smile.
"I'm not saying…right this second. Or even in the next, like, five years until we at least…look like we are at an age where we can do that. Probably sooner because we could probably lie about our ages at some point. After all we'd be way older than any age we claim we are legally."
"Rach."
Five just held up his hand to get her to quiet down. The girl sunk back into the bed a little. As the alcohol was wearing off significantly thanks to this conversation, she really wished she had grabbed the bottle of whiskey before Klaus did to take home. Damn Allison and her stupid trust exercise.
"Please don't break up with me," Rachel said, quietly.
Five let out a laugh at that. He went over and sat next to her, taking her hand in his.
"You've done worse than tell me you want a stable life someday. I've done far worse and you're still here."
Rachel glanced up at him.
"I just…I got excited at the idea of living another whole life with you. One where…it really is just you and me. And…some of those feelings I had when I was young came back. One of…having a family and a happy home. You know just…minus the kids we know I can't have."
Five squeezed her hand.
"I'm glad you told me. The last thing I need is you resenting me forty-five years from now for not noticing what you wanted. Who knows…maybe someday things will calm down enough for that. I'll keep it in mind, okay? I love you, Rach."
The two kissed, hands clasped tightly. When Rachel pulled away, she smiled at Five.
"I think I'm going to bed now."
Five glanced at the clock on the side table.
"It's only 8 o'clock…"
Rachel got up and turned out the light, the room cascading into darkness.
"I said I'm going to bed. Not to sleep."
"Oh," she heard a touch of amusement in Five's voice but a surge of excitement from his feelings, "Well, I won't stop you."
"And I think that we should wake up the entire neighborhood…in honor of Klaus."
"And now I'm less thrilled about where this may be going…"
Rachel just laughed, believing his statement and deciding she'd fill him in on the joke later.