Chapter 34: Prove It!

Meredith's Point-of-View

The look on his face said it all. He looked part deer, part trout. His eyes were wide, like they were caught in the headlights and his mouth kept opening and closing like a fish drowning on dry land. A light sheen of sweat popped out along his brow and his whole body stiffened as if waiting for his punishment.

Finally, he managed to croak out. "You know." It wasn't a question.

I nodded.

"Yes."

"How long have you known?" That was a question.

"A couple of days after." I said quietly, my own body stiffening awaiting his reaction to my deceit.

His eyes searched mine, his whole demeanor confused. He appeared to be working something out if his mind and I knew when he realized what I had been doing.

"The date?" He asked, his expression heartbreaking.

What? That I didn't see coming.

"No!" I put my hands up in defense. "I found out the day after that. We had such a good time that night and I thought, wow, this guy is not what he seems. He is kind, funny, and seems genuinely interested in me." I looked up at him. "Then, I come to work and find out it was all a bet."

He opened his mouth to say something, but I stopped him.

"You will have your turn. Right now, I am going to tell my side."

He nodded.

"So, when Lexie told me, I was like really mad…really mad. I figured you really didn't like me and that the money was more important. I mean, no one has landed the Mighty Dr. McDreamy, so how did I stand a chance? I was just a challenge for you. So, I decided that instead of kicking your ass, I would just make you suffer. Make you jealous, make you crazy with wanting me, challenge your OCD tendencies by trashing your kitchen…I wasn't mean enough to cook for you. I didn't figure stomach pumping is a good way to spend an evening." I smiled softly. "Anyway, I got home, and I was talking to Amber and…"

"Amber?" He interrupted; his face thunderous.

"Yes. Who do you think helped me? Who knows you better than anyone around here? Like I was saying, I realized that this had gone on long enough and that I am not this petty child. I am an adult and it was time I started acting like it. And now, here we are."

I looked at him expectantly.

"It was all revenge?" He asked.

"Yes."

"The plate?"

I bit my lip.

"I didn't know. I swear. I would never have…" I broke off and cleared my throat. I felt tears force their way up my tear ducts. I looked at him and he sucked in a breath. "I am so sorry about that. And the allergic reaction…that wasn't in my plans either."

"Why are you apologizing to me?" He asked.

"I broke a family heirloom and I had to give you a shot in your ass so you could breathe." I looked at him like he was stupid.

"You wouldn't have had to if I hadn't of let my stupid male pride get in the way."

"And ego…Don't forget about your big fat stupid ego." I told him.

"That too."

I bit my lip and stared down at my shoe, that was idly tracing the carpet pattern.

"Why?" I asked. "I mean, I would've slept with you sooner or later. I liked you, a lot. I haven't felt that way in a really long time. Was it the money?"

"What? No! Of course not! It was…Mark and I were just joking around one day and it just happened…"

I felt the anger rip through my body.

"It just happened? The flu happens, an old person dying, happens…a sex bet over two women does not just happen!"

He took a step back.

"I was confused, okay?" He ran a hand through his hair in a rough movement. "I have never felt this way…about anyone and I just…I panicked."

"Why?" I asked.

"My parents had the perfect marriage. They hardly ever fought, and it was like you could feel the love radiating from them. When he died, a part of her did too. I mean, she was still an excellent mother, but it was like she didn't know how to exist without him. I could see the pain in her eyes every single day and I vowed I would never let anyone have that kind of power over me. I would never be that empty."

I walked over to him and placed my hand on his cheek, brushing away his tears. He blinked and looked at the wetness on my hands as if he didn't even know he was crying. He leaned his stubble studded cheek on my hand as he closed his eyes.

"Don't you see? You are already empty." I told him.

His eyes opened, and he looked at me in confusion.

"You have fought your whole life against any romantic attachments. No wife, no kids…just your family and your job. They all have their own lives now, and you won't be a surgeon forever. Then what? You retire and spend all your time in your fabulous house, with the flavor of the night, and your fish…what kind of life will that be, what kind of life can you really have if you are not truly living?" I slowly backed away. His hand dropped down to his side.

"I really wanted to be the one you 'lived' with." I smiled at him sadly.

He reached his hand out as if to stop my next words, agony lighting up his eyes.

"No, please don't say it." He pleaded.

"I have to." I whispered. "It shouldn't be this hard. I don't think that I am right for you."

"How can you say that?" He demanded, his voice anguished.

"How can I not?" I threw back at him. "I need a man who respects me, who will love me despite all my flaws, who wants me and only me. I can't…I won't accept any less. I shouldn't have to."

He nodded softly.

"I'll see you around." I told him.

As I brushed past him, yes…deliberately, his hand came out and dragged me into him. He held me tightly…hugged me to his warm hardness. I heard him inhale deeply, his nose buried into my hair.

"I can be that man." He said, his voice cracking on the last word.

I leaned back, away from him. His eyes looked into mine, so earnest, sincere, pain ridden, and sad. It was like looking into the soul of the little boy he used to be and partly, still was.

I nodded.

"Prove it." I said simply, before extracting myself and walking away.

Do you think that Derek will prove that he is the one for Meredith?