Bonus MDW chapter.

We out here in cliffhanger city and it's a nerve-racking party! Lots of theories and I love them all.

to all the guest reviewers: thank you for leaving your kind words :) even the ones where you're not happy with the direction of my story or grammar ;)

voodooguest: best question ever: they only got four so portland cream, dirty bastard, mango tango and captain oh my captain.

Team Ray: I will try my best, they are honestly my favorite to write. There's a whole chapter dedicated to Ray and Nita's story coming soon. I promise.

LizKoch7: you are too kind to me *hug*

I love how we're all Team Nani. I hope you all still feel the same way after this chapter and the next. *hides under the covers*

To my fanfic familia in the US, I hope you all had a good Memorial Day Weekend and are safe and well. To the men and women in the armed forces and the medical industry, you all are the real MVP's. Thank you for service and dedication.

Chapter 62 – a generous light.

Tuesday, April 14th, 2020

I step put of the elevator and see Ana sitting at the dining table while singing to herself and lost in her task. She's in profile, hunched over the table kneeling on the chair, looking over something. Fuck me, she wearing yoga pants again. There's no music playing on the sound system, just her voice echoing through. I love coming home to this.

I'd get lost on the boulevard at night
Without your voice to tell me, I love you, take a right.

I walk towards her but she doesn't seem to hear me and then I see she has airpods in. This gives me a chance to watch her in her element for a while. Ever since Ros has been on maternity leave and with my busy schedule, I barely get a chance to experience her this way. My eyes are always in front of a screen or report or I'm reviewing facts and figures or berating some imbecile.

Where I go, whatever I do
I wonder where I am in my relationship to you
Wherever you go, where you are
I watch that pretty live play out in pictures from afar

As I get closer I see she had a million piece puzzle that she's working on. It's still in the very initial stages and it's a puzzle of Dancers in Blue by Degas.

I walk up to her as she sings and hums absentmindedly, going through all the puzzle pieces. I stand and lean my forearms on one of the chairs adjacent to her and her face whips up and she gives me a big smile. She takes of her airpods and puts them to the side.

"Hey handsome." She giggles. I take a few steps and lean into her and pepper her lips with soft kisses

"Hey nerd." I smirk and take off my jacket to take a seat next to her.

"That's not what you called me last night. I believe the word Goddess was used quite frequently." She wiggles her eyebrows making me laugh.

"That smart mouth."

"Last night, you said it was talented." She looks at me and bats her eyes.

I smirk and shake my head. "I don't know why I even try."

"Cause you're old and forgetful." She sasses. "Tell me how was the dinner?"

"Boring as shit. I hate these things. I'm dragging you with me next time."

"So we can be bored as shit together?"

"Yes."

She rolls her eyes and goes back to working on her puzzle.

"Why do you always go for the 1000 piece one? It takes for forever." I realize I sound like child right now... but I really don't understand her love for this stuff.

"It's an exercise in patience, foresight and focus... that picture..." she points to the box cover."... is the endgame. All these pieces are the way to get there. How fast or how slow I get there all depends on how patient and thorough I am. All the pieces are always in front of you, whether you see them or not, is a separate issue but sometimes walking away and coming at it with a fresh pair of eyes is what helps. Like right now, all of this is too much information for me, so what I'll do is create small little groups of similar colors and then work on them little by little rather than spending my entire time going through each puzzle piece and seeing if they fit the last one I had in my hand. That's a waste of time. All the pieces will fit eventually." She speaks intently all while she continues to separate the pieces. "Plus, it shuts my brain up for a while." She laughs.

"Is this another way for you to figure out what he's up to?"

She stops for a second and blinks a few times. Her eyes remain fixed. "I've decided to stop wasting brain energy on that. If I do continue to think of the million possible scenarios then I'll drive myself mad and I already have enough shit in my mind that I'm dealing with." Her jaw tightens and she goes back to the puzzle pieces. "His so called game is just noise. If I let him consume my mind then he wins. I want to be present, as much as I can, in the here and now of my life."

I know she says that she won't think about it but chances are she probably will. She can't help it... just like I can't help it. Welch is still hitting a brick wall. No sign of Leila or Phoebe. Susannah has moved back to Florida and is now living with her sister.

Welch's contact in the building department was able to send him a copy of the plans that were filed for the buildings SARVAK and Elena purchased together. She finally found an investor for that precious and elite BDSM club she wanted to open. It's a hilarious that she died before it came into fruition.

FLASHBACK

Thursday, July 30th, 2015

"How was your orientation with Phoebe?" Elena asks. I don't know what the fuck she got done to herself, her face barely moves.

"It was satisfactory." I reply.

"She almost has no limits when it comes to pain." Elena says enticingly.

"That remains to be seen." Hopefully she won't safeword every two minutes like the last useless sub Elena found me. "We're meeting next Thursday after I come back from Chicago to go over the contract."

"I think you two will be perfect."

I roll my eyes. "There's so such thing as perfection in this shit, Elena."

"Of course, there is. Our arrangement was perfect."

"If it was perfect then why the fuck was I so quick to end it?"

She laughs and it's the equivalent of nails on a chalkboard. "You're funny, Christian."

"That wasn't my intention." I grumble and take a bite of my steak.

"Tell me, have you given any more thought to my idea?"

"What idea, Elena?" I know what she's talking about but sometimes I like to hear her grovel.

"Christian, don't be obtuse. Look the salons are doing so well... I really think we should venture into the BDSM club scene. The ones we have in Seattle are a disgrace."

I scoff. "And you want to be the savior of the BDSM scene in the pacific north-west?"

"We can make a lot of money, Christian." She tries to entice me.

"I already have a lot of money." I smirk.

"Christian, it'll be exciting. With the ideas that I have, it'll be the most sought after establishment. In fact there's one that I want you to see. Are you free at the end of this month? They've been having some trouble and are looking for an investor. They're hosting an open house, masquerade night. The club is beautiful and you know me, I rarely ever say that about anything."

"Does that include yourself?"

"Christian, don't tease." She laughs and sometimes she sounds like a dying hyena.

I know I make fun of her and treat her like crap every now and then but I'll never forget how she gave me the 100k no questions asked. Not to mention the beating she took from Linc when he found out. I owe her. She's the only person who understands my needs as annoying as she can be she's the only one I can freely talk to about this shit.

"Look, I'll think about it. It's a risk to associate myself with something like that. Send me the dates and location of where this place is and if my schedule allows, we can go check it out but no promises, Elena. If I don't like it, when I say no, you better shut the fuck up about it."

"I can work with that, though I'm sure you'll find it to be a life changing experience." She intones before gulping down her champagne through her botoxed lips and I roll my eyes. She always loves to be overly dramatic about trivial shit.

FLASHBACK ENDS.

"Can I help? You never let me."

"Sure, have at it. It may help with your old age. Ya never know." She giggles and leans over the table for a kiss.

We work in silence for a while. She's quick at separating the pieces by color and texture. Her face is of pure concentration and her brows are furrowed into a V. It's hilarious and cute at the same time.

"How was your session with Flynn this evening?"

Her face falls for a bit but she recovers quickly. "It was eh."

"Want to talk about it?"

She shrugs. "I just spend my time looking back a lot that it's keeping me from moving forward. I'm too comfortable living in nostalgia."

"What exactly do you find yourself looking back on?"

"The time before everything happened. Those memories are a safe haven. Anytime I feel like I'm about to spiral out of control, I go back into memory lane and it leads right back to Montesano."

I've been running from my childhood memories and she runs right back to them.

"How long has it been since you were last there?"

"It's almost been a year. I only go on my dad's birthday. I spend a few hours there and then come back, this tradition of course is only recent... when I started college."

"Do you visit his grave?"

"No. I've never visited his grave."

"Why not?"

She takes a few seconds. "It's not really where he is. That place holds no real memory or meaning for me other than the fact his bones have been laid to rest. I know he's not alive but I never really said goodbye to him so I guess I'm holding on to some idea that he's not really gone." Her face tenses a bit but she recovers herself and continues to work. "It's stupid, I know."

"It's not stupid."

She shrugs again.

"Your house in Montesano, do you visit it when you go there?"

Her voice wavers a little. "Not really. I can't seem to bring myself to go inside. I'll park outside of the house but I'm never able to go in. I feel like if I did, I'd never leave. It's been seven years now."

I see tears form in her eyes but they don't fall.

"What about going with Nita?"

"I wouldn't ask her to do that. She had to bury him and deal with everything that happened with me. She's gone through enough sadness for this life. I don't want to add more to what I'm already about to do in the near future."

"Ana, she's your mother. She will love you no matter what."

"That's not it Christian." She looks out the window for a few moments and closes her eyes as she takes a deep breath. "I'm about to throw a grenade into her life. The gravity of what that will do to her is not lost on me. I know she loves me. I know it... but the guilt she will feel, the anger towards a man she raised like a son. The rift it will cause in the relationship she has with the sister she loves and adores..."

"But Ana, this is all on him. Not you... "

"Look... when I told Nani, it almost broke me all over again. Seeing her reaction, I hated myself so much in that moment but I was also desperate... I felt like I was being suffocated and I needed to tell her."

"What happened? What did she say?"

She looks down and tears start to fall from her eyes. "She got down on her knees and begged for my forgiveness because she felt like she failed me... An 80 year old woman who was not at all responsible, who gave me all the love in the world and devoted so much time to my well being was on her knees and asking me... a nobody for forgiveness."

I rise from my seat and pull her up to me and hold her as I rub her back. "You're not a nobody Ana. You're everything to anyone who loves you." I lead her to the couch and we sit close tangled in each other. She doesn't cry but stays silent for a while as I kiss her forehead and hold her.

"Nita's given me so much. John says I owe her the truth and I know that... I just... I'm so scared and she doesn't deserve this. She doesn't deserve this betrayal."

"You're right, she doesn't. But none of this is your fault. Yes, the truth will be painful but in the end it's all on him. He did this. He will be the reason why all this is happening and Nita deserves to know the truth."

"Nita isn't even her real name."

"What's is it?"

"Nita is a nickname. Her real name is Noor Karim-Steele... Noor means light in Arabic and Karim means generous and she has been so generous with the light she brought into our lives. She brought out a different side of Ray, a side I had never seen before and she showed me so much affection. Something I never got from Carla."

"You're so much like her. You may not look like each other but you almost sound like each other and I see a lot of her in you."

She looks up at me in shock and a new wave of tears start to form. "No one has ever said that to me. It's the best compliment i've ever received."

I stroke her cheek. "It's the truth. Sometimes when I hear you talk to her, you sound like a little girl. Gives me a glimpse into what you must've been like as a kid."

"I feel like I'm 10 years old when I talk to her. Like we're right back in Montesano and for a second it feels like Dad is still alive. She took such an interest in my life, she always wanted to know what I was reading or listening to. She'd answer any questions I had about the world and the places she'd seen. She was respectful of how Ray wanted to raise me so she promised that once I grew older she'd take me on a girl's trip. Just me and her... she'd take me to her favorite places in Europe and take me to all the museums to see the paintings I loved." She smiles wistfully.

"Why didn't you go with her in college?"

She looks brings her knees to her chest and hides her hands. "I would take summer classes and I'd be working. I also didn't feel worthy... I know it's stupid but I was convinced that I didn't deserve anything more given the money they had spent on my recovery. I have to unlearn all those toxic thoughts now... I have to learn how to fight that crippling fear he instilled in me and it's a lot of shit."

Son of a bitch. Fucking asshole.

"Look at me, baby."

She takes a few moments and turns her head to me but her eyes don't meet mine. I tip her chin up with my index finger and give her a small kiss and she looks at me. Her eyes are red.

"I think you both should go this summer. Take the jet and go spend a week or two in Paris or anywhere you'd like. Spend time with her, we can liaise Mr. Benoit for any security measures. Sawyer and Prescott will be with you. You both will be safe."

She looks down and nods slowly. "I'll think about it." I know this is her way of avoiding idea. I'll just have to find some time to talk to Nita on my own this weekend.

"Are you excited about them coming?"

She smiles and nods enthusiastically. "Yeah, very. I just have to do a good job of watching Aria though. She has a tendency of wandering off. She likes to go on solo expeditions and touch things. She's my little explorer."

"I guess it's a good thing there's nothing scandalous in the apartment."

"Yes, thank god." She laughs.

"What's on your agenda this weekend?"

"They fly in Friday morning and staying at the Fairmont. We'll have lunch at the hotel then probably take Aria to a museum or the space needle. Then we'll meet Ros in the evening for a bit. Jose and Val will join us there. Saturday we'll just chill here and go out for ice-cream with Aria along with prepping stuff for Sunday's dinner and lounge around in my room and have our girl talk. Then Sunday is dinner here."

"I wish it wasn't busy. If it was warmer and not fucking raining, we could've gone on the Grace."

She gives me a small kiss. "It's okay, we're real homebodies. Since we barely see each other, we really like staying in and catching up."

"I've been meaning to ask, why are you making Nita cook and hosting a dinner with my family. We could've just gone to the Mile High Club."

"Well... it's just what the family does. I mean, it's kind of tradition in a way. My family, well the people I want are officially meeting your family and it's Nita's way of welcoming them as a parent. The best way to get to know the other family is over a home cooked meal or over tea. I mean it's not like your entire family can come to San Francisco on a whim. So it makes sense to do it like this."

"I'm confused. Why is it so important? It's just a dinner."

"In the south Asian culture, it's not a marriage of two people but two families. And I know we're not officially engaged but the intention for marriage is there. So this way, your family will get to know mine because they both will be a big part of our lives going forward especially in terms of kids and raising them and our families paths will continue to cross. It's also a good way to know what kind of family one's daughter will be a part of. At this point, Nita only knows Grace that too only a little bit and the rest she's just heard from me. I really wanted Karan and Aashu to be here too but they're in Manchester for work so they're missing out." She pouts and then giggles.

"I think that's really beautiful" I lean in and give her a small kiss.

"Well, hold your horses on that. We're gonna have a full house of people here and one very excited almost 3 year old. Lots of noise Mr. Grey."

I chuckle. "I'm okay with that. What will be on the menu? Please tell me Nita will make the beef curry."

Ana falls into a fit of giggles. "Yes she most definitely will... it'll be a repeat of the menu of what we had in SF since the spice level was mild except I'm making date barfi and one western dessert as well. I told Grace today and she was excited. Grandma Margot and Grandpa Theo are thoroughly jealous that they won't be here."

"Hang on, how often do you talk to all of them?"

"Well we text every other day for sure. Grace I'll talk to twice a week and Grandma Margot once a week. She loves Jose by the way and Grandpa Theo wants Val's number.

"I'm not surprised at Theo but how the fuck does Jose talk to Margot?" I feign irritation but end up chuckling.

"We send her videos." She giggles. We send pictures to each other all the time and once she sent a selfie of herself holding a rose she picked form your uncles garden and Jose and I sent her a video back calling her a Queen. She ate it up and now she always asks about him."

I shake my head trying to suppress a laugh. "Only Jose."

"Exactly. He's in our lives and never leaving Christian. Get comfortable." She laughs.

I roll my eyes.

"Do the Kapadia siblings know?"

"The question is, do I give two shits about them knowing?" she raises an eyebrow.

"Good answer." I laugh. "Now come on wench, I'm taking you to bed and having my way with you."

Saturday, April 18th, 2020

I'm on my way to the Fairmont to meet Nani and her lawyer. I left after Nita and Aria arrived at Escala. I found it odd that Rania didn't show up was told that she had a conference call and I took that as my cue to leave. Oddly enough, Ana never asks where I'm going and why. Even though I've not been answerable to anyone in years, I find that I want her to ask me. It's odd. She only asks when I'll be back. I remember Elliot once dated a girl who was obsessed with knowing where he was every minute of every day. That relationship lasted a total of a week. I suddenly realize, I am that person in this relationship. Even though it's because I want Ana safe it's also because I'm genuinely curious about her.

Once I arrive at the Fairmont, Taylor accompanies me to the lobby where Travis is already waiting for me. I see Mr. Benoit as well. He gives us a nod and turns on his heel signaling us to follow him.

I don't do nervous but I won't lie that the anticipation of what Nani wants to talk about has my stomach in knots. If this was any other meeting, I wouldn't give two shits about anything but since this is in regards to Ana, all my nerves are shot to shit.

Travis and I are escorted to the meeting room. Before we enter, Mr. Benoit stops us and asks that we hand our phones over to Taylor who will be waiting with him just outside this door until we're done.

"May I ask why?" Taylor inquires.

"The nature of the conversation that will take place beyond this door is sensitive. Mrs. Karim prefers the absence of any electronic devices." He says impassively. I get the distinct impression that he really hates my guts because he refuses to look at me. We take out our phones and hand them over to Taylor. If my nerves were shot to shit before, they're completely obliterated now.

Once I enter I see Nani dressed in western clothes. Head trip... and her lawyer is... Rania? I know Rania takes care of the business legalities at AHAK. Ana told me they have outside counsel for personal matters such as the Will. Oh fuck. Does this mean she knows? Ana told me she gave her the watered down version of her issue with Vishaal. I have too many questions are racing through my mind right now.

They both smile but don't reach out to hug but hold out their hands and greet us rather professionally.

We exchange pleasantries and they offer us refreshments but we decline.

"Mr. Travis, Aana speaks very highly of you and the mentorship you've provided over the recent months." Nani says with warmth.

"Thank you, Mrs. Karim. Your grand-daughter is an exceptional woman and a great asset to my team." He replies with a genuine smile.

I see Nani and Rania beam proudly. Even when she's not in the room we're all under her spell.

"Before we begin, we would like for you to sign this NDA Mr. Grey. Feel free to review it with Mr. Travis but I'm sure you'll find our terms reasonable. We want to make sure you're comfortable with this." Rania says as she hands two copies of the document. This is not the Rania who makes fun of Ana or teases me. She hasn't cracked a smile except for when Ana's name was mentioned. She has otherwise been completely stoic.

As I review it, I see that it's airtight but makes note to include that only GEH employees under security, legal and IT may only be privy to the information that is discussed in this meeting. I find the singled out departments and employees listed by name rather odd and slightly alarming. I then see Flynn's name listed as well. I look up at Nani briefly and I can tell she knows what really caught my eye. She gives me a reassuring smile and a slight nod. Fuck, she's already surmised that I'm going to need to talk to Flynn. Which means this will be a shitshow. I briefly wonder how she knows this but then I remember that Ana has told her about her therapy with him. Another interesting tidbit is the time limit on the NDA. It only lasts until the end of the 3rd quarter or until Rania has me sign another document rendering it null and void before then. Travis gives me a look but eventually signals me that it's okay to sign.

After the documents are signed, both Rania and Travis leave and just like that it's only Nani and myself in the room.

You could slice the tension with a knife at this point.

"Mr. Grey, I think it would be prudent that we address each other formally for the duration of this meeting."

Interesting. I nod. "Understood." I pause for a moment. "May I ask, why not go with the honor code?"

"That was my husband's way of doing things. I'm different." She says simply.

"I see." She really is all business today. I find this a little unnerving. I need to channel all the control I've mastered in the last 15 years. "Please continue. This is your meeting."

Her face is impassive as she begins. "The first thing on my agenda is that you stop surveillance on Vishaal."

WHAT THE FUCK?

Authors Note: holy shirtballs on a stick.

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Music:

In your atmosphere (Where the Light is: Live in Los Angeles) - John Mayer.