Numb
After another week and a half in the hospital Punk was finally discharged and they were both finally going home. AJ was at his side every day and night in the hospital and that really put Punk at ease.
"This couch is really comfortable." Punk said enjoying the new furniture finally.
"Right?" AJ asked walking over with a tray. "Soup."
"You really think soup is like a magical cure, don't you?" He asked accepting the tray.
"I do." She said to him.
"You know, the jury has been out on Eliza's case for almost a week." Punk pointed out.
"Don't care." AJ shrugged.
"Right." He said to her.
Punk's face was down to normal size and thanks to her necrotic cleaning, the wounds were healing quickly. Now it just looked like he was scrapped along the road rather than having his fast run over. But AJ was able to kiss him again and that's what mattered.
"It's ok to care about things that aren't me." He informed him.
"Not until you're 100%." AJ informed him sternly.
"How are you feeling?" He asked her.
"I wasn't nearly murdered and buried alive so I'm ok." She reminded him and he eyed her.
"Yea but you're carrying a life inside of you so I'm curious." He teased.
"Oh, actually good. I don't know if all the throwing up was morning sickness that has passed or you just made me so nervous all I could was throw up." She shrugged.
"Did you uh- hear from your father at all these last few weeks?" Punk questioned.
"Nope but I told him not to contact me." AJ reminded him. "He finally listened."
"Who have you had to lean on during all of this? Dean has been working like crazy." Punk said to her.
"Peyton and Renee." AJ told him. "Celeste has checked in a lot too."
"Good. I'd just hate that you wouldn't have anyone to talk to about your feelings." He said to her.
"I talk to you, I talk to the baby." She shrugged straightening up.
"You talk to the baby?" He asked curiously.
"Yea I mean why not?" She asked. "She's getting bigger so maybe she grew some of your big ass ears by now."
"My ears are perfectly shaped." Punk defended.
"Not according to your mother or the mirror." She mumbled.
"I want to talk to the baby." He said to her and she laughed.
"Yea?" AJ asked and she sat next to him and pulled up her shirt.
"You have a belly." He smiled placing his hand over her stomach.
"I mean she's not kicking or anything but yea she's growing. I'm only 12 weeks but she's growing." She told him.
"When do you go back to the doctor?" He asked her.
"Tomorrow." She told him and he jerked his head up.
"Don't worry, Pam is going to come over and sit with you." She assured him.
"I don't need a sitter." He scoffed. "I need to be there at the appointment with you."
"Limited activity." She reminded him.
"I'm not missing this." He argued. "All I have to do is walk a few feet and I can. I want to see my kid in real time."
"Are you sure?" She asked and he eyed her. "Ok you are." She added. "Fine but you have to behave."
"I always behave." Punk defended. "So, what do you say to her?" He asked her.
"I usually complain about you." She told him honestly and he glared at her. "You've made me very antsy the last few weeks." She shrugged.
"Don't tell her stuff like that." Punk said to her.
"Then don't scare me." She told him simply with a shrug and just like that the moment was gone when the doorbell rang.
"Who's that?" Punk asked alarmed.
"I have to answer the door and find out." AJ laughed standing up fixing her shirt.
"We have a camera at the door." He said trying to figure out how to look at the camera on the TV but AJ just walked over to the door. "Do NOT open that door." he warned her.
"It's Dean." AJ said looking out the peephole.
"Fine." Punk said still trying to figure out the camera.
"Miss us already?" AJ teased letting him in.
"Oh, yea. Six hours without either one of you is far too long." Dean mocked. "How are you feeling?"
"I'm ok." Punk told him. "You have news?"
"We found Jason Kennedy." Dean told him and AJ was relieved instantly.
"Thank god." She said. "Now you can ask him about Dickie."
"I would if I could." Dean told her. "We found him dead. Been dead for a few weeks. Campers found him in the woods."
"He probably was killed the night it happened." Punk said to him.
"The girl isn't talking either she claims to know nothing of Dickie." Dean told him. "But it's a safe bet that he was hired by Dickie to take you out and then Dickie tried to clean up the mess."
"Why wouldn't Dickie just do it himself?" AJ asked.
"One reason is that Dickie probably couldn't take Punk point and second reason he wanted Punk occupied while he did what he had to do." Dean told him.
"Oh, you mean kill me." AJ said to him.
"I wouldn't worry." Dean said simply and AJ eyed him like he was crazy. "Agent Creed is in town and he seems to think this was meant to keep you from testifying which worked but Dickie being involved means-"
"You're off the case." Punk finished for him and Dean nodded.
"That's not fair." AJ argued.
"It's not so I'm going to sneak." Dean told her. "You're not the only one who can sneak.""
"I'm the only one who does it well." AJ snorted. "Why would Dickie want to help Eliza? She kind of gave him up to save herself."
"Maybe he's still loyal to her." Dean reasoned.
"Or maybe he doesn't just take orders from her." AJ remarked. "I know someone reelection campaign is going to look better when his wife is found not guilty." Dean looked over to Punk who was looking at him.
"That's actually a really good point." Dean hated to admit.
"I should really just be a Detective." AJ said to them.
"I like you better as my personal nurse." Punk said to her.
"Eat your soup." She ordered.
"You made soup?" Dean asked innocently. "You didn't use Daria's recipe did you?"
"Sit I'll get you a bowl." AJ told him and he took his jacket off and sat next to Punk.
"I didn't get a chance to thank you for looking out for her while I was out of it." Punk said to him.
"She's my family. That makes you family and it's what family does." Dean said to him.
"You also literally saved my life." Punk said to him. "I won't forget it."
"Try to." Dean said to him. "You have bigger things going in your life than this and thinking back to it will only haunt you."
"Yea I guess but it's kind of hard to forget when I'm actively trying to remember." Punk said to him. "It comes in bits and pieces but I remember more and more each night."
"Well when you remember tell me first even though I can't work this case." Dean said to him.
"I don't trust anyone working this but you." Punk told him. "When this first happened I wasn't sure I even wanted to go back to work but now I'm itching."
"You have to try to relax you're a ways off from from coming back to work." Dean reminded him.
"A few weeks and I go back to desk duty." Punk corrected.
"Here, it's hot be careful." AJ said passing Dean a bowl.
"Thanks." Dean grinned. "Smells just like moms."
"It's exact and Phil doesn't believe it can heal broken bones." She told Dean.
"Oh, man it does." Dean said seriously. "When I was 15 I got knocked on the ice playing hockey and Daria made this for me and it healed."
"Sure." Punk scoffed.
"It's true." Dean insisted.
The next day AJ was driving back from the doctors appointment and Punk was next to her looking at the sonogram.
"What did you think?" AJ asked.
"I think hearing the heartbeat of my child was the best thing I have ever heard in my entire life." He said to her in awe of the picture. "She's bigger from the last picture."
"I should hope so. The last picture was a month ago." AJ said to him.
"You're doing amazing." Punk told her. "Through all this craziness and hell you managed to stay healthy and take care of this baby. Thank you."
"You're welcome." She grinned.
"And you're not even the slightest bit scared." He said in awe of her.
"You are?" He asked.
"I mean a bit." He admitted. "This is a human that it is going to depend on us. I've never been a parent before I didn't even have a good example of how to parent until Pam took me in."
"I mean my dad sucked but my mom was great." AJ reasoned. "I don't really know how to parent I've never been around a baby before but I think dumber people raise kids and they turn out fine."
"That's a good point." He had to laugh.
"And I already figured that you could be the strict parent and I'll be the fun one." She said keeping her eyes on the road.
"Oh, that's not going to work." Punk said to her. "You think if you have a little mini you I'll ever be able to yell at her or ground her?"
"True. I guess I'll be the strict one but I also really want to have that special relationship with my daughter that my mom had with me." She told him.
"You will." Punk assured her. "But it's not going to be the same. Part of your bond with your mother as the fact that it was you two against the world. Your dad left and didn't look back I don't plan on ever leaving. So don't expect it to be the same."
"You're right." She agreed. "It won't be the same. Our daughter is going to have two great parents."
"That she will." He agreed. "I mean we say she but what if it's a he and now we're just confusing it."
"He, she, it and they." She noted. "Our baby is going to be very insulted and confused. Also when you were in the hospital I mentioned to Dean being godfather-"
"I wouldn't want anyone but him to do that." Punk told her seriously. "He's going to love this baby as much as he loves you."
"He told me the baby is going to annoy him because I'm annoying." She told him and he let out a loud laugh. "That's not funny!" She scolded.
"He's not wrong." He said to her still laughing. "I'll have you that I have to keep one eye on then a mini PI I have to keep my other eye on. I'll need Dean for backup."
"I heard you telling him you were anxious to get back to work now." She said to him.
"Yea. I mean you were right." He said to her. "I think I just had jitters."
"Just don't rush back before you're ready." She said to him.
"I won't." He promised. "But I will go stir crazy soon."
"Don't worry I'm going back to work Monday so you can watch boring sports all day." She told him.
"You're going back to work?" He asked her surprised.
"Yea I mean unless you think you still need me." She said to him. "I have to make money, Phil. We have a kid and a house."
"I am being paid being out." He reminded her.
"What are you so nervous about?" She asked.
"It's just you have the office at home." He pointed at her.
"I really don't want clients to come meet me at my home." She grinned. "Look, if you're not ready to be alone I'll push it back."
"No I'll be fine." He said to her. "Are you doing field work?"
"Phil." She warned.
"I'm paranoid ok?" He said to her. "I have a right to be."
"I have to work." She insisted.
"I'll go with you." Punk offered.
"No, Phil." She said shaking her head. "I'm going to be out for weeks after the baby is born I have to work as much as I can now and I have clients who have been very patient and waiting in my return."
"I just don't like you going all the way into the City with Dickie popping back up." Punk said to her.
"Dickie is always a threat and I worked just fine before." She said to him.
"Things have changed." Punk said to her growing angry. "I can take a beating, you can not. You aren't just alone anymore or did you not hear that heartbeat?"
"Of course I did." AJ said to him. "A heartbeat that I want to provide for. "I have been away from since our wedding I have to work Peyton depends on her paycheck from me and I can not pay her if I don't have clients."
"We can still pay her." Punk reasoned her.
"I'm going back to work, I'm going to do what I would have done before you were hurt and before I found out I was pregnant. My job is safe it's not like I'm rock climbing."
"No." He said simply and she would have laughed if she wasn't so angry.
"I'm not asking you for permission, I'm not even asking for you input." AJ said to him.
"Damn it April I don't want you out of the house." He snapped.
"Well I'm not staying cooped up until Dickie is caught because he might never be caught." AJ said back to him. "Deal with it."
The rest of the car ride was silent and neither spoke once they got home. AJ went up to the bedroom while Punk stayed downstairs and flicked through the channels. He was mad at her, going back to work this soon was one of those reckless things he spoke to her about in the hospital. It wasn't worth it. But at the same time he kind of understood. She's going to miss work once the baby is born and he was sure she missed it now. Like she told him, being a PI wasn't what she did it was who she was and she was so good at it. He was just paranoid and scared.
Punk made his way up the stairs and saw AJ laying above the covers still dressed and he crawled into the bed behind her and kissed behind her ear.
"I'm mad at you." She reminded him.
"I didn't mean to snap." He said to her. "I'm scared, alright? How could I not be? I remember bits and pieces of what happened to me and if that ever happened to you-" He began then couldn't even finish the sentence.
"Why do you assume that's going to happen?" She asked rolling onto her back to face him.
"I don't assume it I fear it." He said to her.
"I have to work. We need money." She reminded him. "We not only have a house and bills to keep up with but we have a baby coming and word on the street is that they're kind of expensive."
"Yea I've heard that rumor." He said to her. "I don't want you to not work I just want you to work when I know Dickie isn't out there."
"Dickie isn't going to show up in my building." AJ said to him. "I don't work alone." She reminded him. "And I"m pretty damn tough myself. If I let the things I've seen scare me I would have never left New Jersey or the diner."
"I wish I could be like you." He sighed.
"Are you going to throw a tantrum when I leave for work Monday?" She asked.
"Yes." He responded honestly. "But I'll get over it."
"I know this isn't easy for you." She said to him. "I know you're still shaken from what happened to you."
"I could give a shit about what happened to me." He said to her. "It's you I'm worried about."
"I'll be ok." She promised him.
"Ape." He sighed. "I don't like it I like having you right here with me."
"I can't do that forever. I can't just stay at home. You have to let me go." She told him.
"I'll never let you go." He warned her. "You have to check in constantly with me. If you don't check in I'm calling the police."
"Relax." She said to him. "I'll check in. And I have a feeling that once I've done this once or twice you'll feel better."
"I doubt that." He said to her and she leaned down and kissed his lips tenderly. "Can I convince you to be a stay at home wife or mother?"
"You know I encouraged you to want to go back to work." She reminded him.
"I know and that's because I'm a very selfish person." He told her seriously and she rolled her eyes. "It's true! I told you that you were the most selfless person I ever met and I meant it. You're willing to put up with worry and fear so I can go back to work because you know I love my job. Me on the other hand knows you love your job and I'd be ok with guilting you into staying home forever as long as I had peace of mind and knew you were safe."
"That's very honest of you." AJ mocked.
"I'm selfish, not dishonest." He agreed.
"You're not selfish." She told him. "You work a selfless job and you were never selfish with me."
"I'm ready to be selfish with you." He insisted and she frowned. "Fine." He groaned and she kissed his cheek. "But you have to be very careful. And I think we should discuss you carrying a gun."
"Ugh." She said to him. "I'll probably shoot myself by accident."
"I'll teach you." He promised.
"We'll see how I feel." She said to him.
"If what happened to me god forbids happens to you I won't be as strong as you." He warned her. "I don't have half of your strength."
"You do." She said to him. "You're the one who taught me."
"What am I going to do here all day with you at work?" He asked now more annoyed.
"What the doctor said you should do- rest." She said to him.
"I can do things I just can't run any marathons." He said to her.
"You can work on my office. You know make it more office like." She said to him. "Then after you do that I should be further along and you should be stronger you can work on the baby's room."
"Baby's room." He said to himself. "Which room?"
"Well I was thinking we'd move office which is across the hall down the hall and put the baby across the hall." She reasoned.
"I like that. And I get to do the room with no input from you?" He asked her.
"I didn't say that." She said to him.
"But it would be my pet project." He said thinking about it. "It will occupy my mind. You can't peak."
"Phil I want input." She argued.
"You're carrying her I can at least do the room or I'm going to go crazy here." He warned her.
"Are you going to do it in like all sports stuff?" She asked.
"Not one sports item." He promised. "Ok one sports item somewhere but I'll make the room perfect."
"Will you make it overly corny?" She asked.
"Nope I can do it." He said to her.
"Fine." She said to him.
Later that night AJ was soaking in a bath and Punk planned on barging in on her even just for a peek because he had missed her very much. They were always a very sexually active couple and now it was going on a month and he wouldn't be cleared for sex for another few weeks but he needed a peek at least. He decided to take Larry out for a walk first. When he stepped out his front door with Larry it was dark out but he saw a car parked in front of the house and he instinctively went to reach for his gun which he carried with him almost everywhere now. But as he got closer to the car he put the gun back in the back of his pants and eyed the man sleeping in the car.
Punk knocked on the window loudly startling the man and Robert Mendez looked up and rolled down his window.
"Can I help you, Mr. Mendez?" Punk questioned.
"I've been trying to build up the courage to knock on the door." Robert said to him. "I kept losing my nerve then I guess I fell asleep."
"Why are you here?" Punk asked him. "You know she doesn't want to see you."
"I heard about your accident, I heard it had to do with that McCall and I heard April didn't testify so Eliza walked." Robert said to her.
"She's been under so much stress these last few weeks and I'm sure your intentions are good but I can't let you near that house." Punk told him. "You get that, right?"
"I do. You're just protect her." Robert said to him. "I was worried. Are you alright?"
"I am or I will be at least." Punk told him. "But she's on edge and I know she told you that she was pregnant and the added stress of you isn't needed."
"I get that." Robert agreed. "I thought Eliza would go to prison and April would have some peace."
"AJ is at peace right now. She's focused and she's strong and seeing you isn't going to help her." Punk told him.
"She's my daughter." Robert told him. "You'll get it more when your child is born but when you know they're hurting and they need protection no matter their age you show up."
"It's just you seem to pick and choose when you show up." Punk pointed out. "It's not fair to her. If you really were concerned I'd imagine you show up at the hospital. You tend to show up when the storm is over and want credit for doing so."
"That's fair I suppose." Robert said to him.
"I've never involved myself in your relationship with your daughter but your daughter is my wife and she has taken a mental beating these last few weeks so I have to protect her. She doesn't need you when it's all better she needs you when it's falling apart. Like when her mother first went missing or when I was first shot or when I was first attacked. You give her money hoping that buys you back in but if you knew your daughter you'd know she can't be bought. And she doesn't need you to ride in and save her when life is beating her down because she always picks herself up back up. She doesn't need you, Robert." He told him bluntly.
"I'll go." Robert said starting the car. "You take good care of her." He told Punk. "Do better by your child then I did for mine." then took off.
Punk walked Larry then slowly climbed the stairs and burst into the bathroom and frowned.
"What?" She asked as she brushed her wet hair and was wrapped in a towel.
"Nothing." He groaned and she eyed him.
"Are you not feeling ok?" She asked him.
"I'm fine. I was hoping for a free show." He admitted. "I'm desperate, ok?"
"You're cute." AJ said looking in the mirror as Punk watched her. "Hoping the towel comes loose?"
"Maybe." He admitted.
"What was he doing here?" She asked him and he eyed her.
"Who?" He asked innocently.
"I saw my father's car and I saw you sending him away." She said to him.
"How did you see that?" He asked.
"I got the cameras on my phone." She told him. "I watch the house. You're not the only one on edge."
"He wanted to say hi. I didn't think it was a good idea." Punk said to her.
"You were right." She said brushing her hair still. "Always wants to show up when I don't need him."
"I think he got through to him but he's hard to read." Punk said to her.
"He can't take a hint." AJ said annoyed. "Thank you for taking of it. I don't think I'd have energy to deal with him."
"Of course." He said to her.
"You always take your gun when you walk Larry?" She asked casually still brushing her long hair.
"I never used to." He told her honestly. "I'm not a perfect man, April." He reminded her. "It's going to take a little bit for me to get back to where I was."
"I get that." AJ said turning around to face him. "I wish I could help you."
"You do help me." He insisted.
"Renee left a card for you." She told Punk.
"Counseling, I think the fuck not." Punk said to her.
"Therapy it's one on one." AJ said to him. "It's private and she claims she uses the same therapist."
"Renee see's a therapist?" Punk asked with a sarcastic laugh.
"She see's a lot of ugly." AJ reminded him. "You hand off the cases to her and then it's all on her to make sure the bad guy goes away. She has to study things more than you, she has to work twice as hard and she's the face of the case and when it goes wrong it's all on her. I don't blame her."
"I'm not judging her." Punk said to her. "Therapy isn't my thing."
"I saw a therapist." AJ confided and he looked at her.
"You? You of all people?" He asked stunned.
"That's right. The strongest person you know saw a therapist. I really enjoyed it." She told him. "My mom suggested I go when I started getting into trouble in high school. I spoke a lot about my dad."
"And it helped you?" He asked.
"I mean it's been a long time clearly since I've gone." She teased. "I tried to go back when my mom went missing." She said walking past him and into the master bedroom.
"Why didn't you stick with it?" He asked.
"My old therapist retired so I saw this younger doctor and he made a pass at me." AJ told him. "He cared more about how short my skirts were then my pain."
"That's fucking awful." He said to her coldly.
"I wish I would have seen a different doctor." She told him. "Tried a bit harder. I didn't think going to a doctor made me weak. I just knew Dean was busy looking for mom and Elliot never wanted to be bothered. I'm not telling you to go I'm just asking you to consider it."
"I will." He promised.
"Thank you." She said untying her towel right in front of him and placing her hands on her hips. "Happy?"
"Horny." He corrected eyeing her body and licking his lips. He went to make a move towards her and she stepped away and grabbed a baggy t-shirt and pulled it over hear head.
"You know better." AJ scolded. "No sex."
"Just a little sex." He reasoned and she laughed as she pulled up a pair of sleeping shorts.
"None at all." She told him and he walked towards her.
"Just something." He insisted and she swatted his hands away.
"What is a little sex or just something?" She asked.
"Touching, fondling, licking, foreplay-" He counted off and she tilted her head in annoyance.
"No nothing." She said to him. "If your lucky my hand might lip while I'm bathing you."
"I don't need you to bathe me." He said with a laugh and she arched a brow and he got serious. "But of course yea, I'll need help and if your hand wanders I won't be upset at all."
"Uh-huh." She said walking out of the room.
"Babe? When is my bath?" He asked her. "Babe!" He yelled frustrated following her out now.