Days blurred into each other. There was sunshine everyday, teasing the edges of the heavy black curtains in Sakura's hospital room. It was possible that the world had exploded into bloom outside but her eyes needed the dark to heal. She was glad she didn't have to see the hope of spring, her favorite season, the new beginning of life… she would not be able to bear it.

She was staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep, unable to do anything else, her limbs heavy, her heart an aching stone. There were voices outside, drawing nearer. She shifted slightly. A visitor? Tsunade didn't allow many, she got tired much too quickly.

The door was opened cautiously and for a short moment, the sweetest sunshine chased away the darkness.

"Sakura, my sweetling!"

Seeing her mother's worried face floating towards the bed and being enfolded into her warm, soft embrace did it: Sakura burst into tears, finding herself bawling her eyes out once again. But no need to feel embarrassed. This was her mother. She of all people would understand.

"Oh my poor baby," her mother cooed and stroked her hair, her back, showering kisses on her face. "Why do you have to go through such pain."

The thing was, she was even useless at pain. So much crying, but no reprieve. What a complete failure.

"Tsunade-sama talked to your father and me," her mother said softly, "it will take time for you to fully mend, but your face should be as good as new afterwards. The scars will barely be visible, she assured us."

Again, Tsunade had made sure to give hope like this. Sakura was grateful for it. If only she could believe it... All she could muster since opening her eyes was despair… and more despair, however hard she tried to take heart. She hadn't known such a dark, deep pit of depression existed and she sure did not know how to get out of it.

"Your eyesight should return back to normal too," her mother currently said, trying to sound chipper and supportive. "But it will take longer, so you must be patient."

Or it would stay like this, wouldn't it. They all knew but nobody said it. She would have to live with the world being too dark and not in focus, blurred at the edges of her vision to remind her every second of her life that she was missing something, was incomplete, would never be whole again. She had not known before this just how bad a violation of the mind could be… Genjutsu should be banned, every single one of the Illusionary Techniques should become forbidden jutsu.

"Tsunade thinks it might help if you got glasses for the time being?"

Sakura nodded dutifully. Sure. She would wear glasses. Who cared about glasses when...

"Mama, I'm pregnant," Sakura blurted out.

Her mother went very still. Then, she tightened her arms around her.

"Are you now! What a blessing. I've been hoping for a grandchild for quite some time … Ino's mother made me very jealous with all that gushing about hers!"

Sakura loved her mother so, so much for managing to sound so warm and excited when she had to be surprised or even shocked about the news. A baby in a body so battered and a mind so broken.

"I might lose the baby," Sakura continued quickly, to ensure her mother understood that she couldn't get too attached to the thought of becoming a grandma, like she herself was trying to keep her emotions separate from the lump of flesh in her belly, "it's very early and my injuries…"

Just yesterday, she had bled. That's it, she had thought, staring at the red in the toilet, it's gone. She couldn't see it in there of course, it was that tiny. She would have wanted to see it though, to say a proper goodbye. She had managed not to cry, had stoically let herself be examined by Tsunade, her Shishou's worried face saying it all. What was the loss of a fetus that was a few weeks old anyway? She had only just discovered that it had started to grow inside of her. Why feeling attached to it?

"Shush, darling," her mother said sternly. "Do not let yourself be consumed by thoughts of bad things that don't have to happen. Don't give them any more room than they deserve."

Sakura buried her face against her mother's neck, breathing in the familiar, soothing scent. She hadn't had a chance to familiarize herself with that tiny speck of life inside of her. Then why did the thought of losing it hurt so much? And why had Tsunade's grim assurance that 'it seems to be a tenacious little thing after all' made her cry with relief?

"Is it…?"

"It's Sasuke's," Sakura said with a small sigh.

"Really?!"

Sakura pushed herself away from her mother, looking into her flabbergasted face. Yes, it was a surprise, wasn't it? It was also inconvenient. It was… well, it was also quite fitting, given how lost and broken she felt, fitting a life in shambles.

"I didn't know… I didn't know you two made up?"

"Yeah, we did," Sakura nodded. There was no hate between them so she thought it was okay to call it that? Not that she remembered any tenderness. Nor did she remember the making of this child.

She remembered falling out of love. It had never quite been love, at least not the sort that bound two people together for life. The truth was, she had not managed to turn her one-sided obsession into anything resembling a normal relationship. But she would be content with whatever future she would share with him.

"We will make it work," she added bravely because that's what she told herself. If she could keep the child. "We're still married, you know."

"That's… I guess that's the modern times," her mother cleared her throat. "What do they call it… patchwork family? I know you've been taking care of his first child with that… woman. You're such a good person. I don't think I could do the same."

"Oh, I truly love Sarada, she deserves nothing but the best," Sakura said and a smile tugged at the corners of her lips at the thought of the girl. She couldn't wait to see her little pumpkin again! For the time being however, Tsunade only wanted close family to visit her. They didn't want to shock the girl, of course. Now that the bandages had been removed, she looked too gruesome.

"Me and your father were hoping…," her mother sighed. "Well. Silly. We are quite old-fashioned, I realize. As long as you are happy..."

Sakura's smile faltered. Happy? No. She wasn't. Had she ever been? This crushing ache in her heart… it said otherwise.

"I am sorry to disappoint you," Sakura said quietly and leaned back against her pillows, fighting a new volley of tears.

"You never did, not once," her mother said and pressed her hand. "We are proud of you, Sunshine, always were, always will be. I will help you with the baby when you have to go to work, don't worry about a thing."

"Thank you, mother." Sakura pressed her mother's hand as well, feeling quite overwhelmed. She didn't want her mom to leave. She wanted her to stay here at the hospital. She wanted to hear her say that everything was going to be alright. That she was going to be a doctor again, a very good doctor, one who could operate like before, one who people came to from far away.

"And Kakashi…?"

Something like a thunderbolt went through Sakura at the sound of that name, shaking her to the core. The feeling was so strong, she almost blacked out.

"I… mother…" she wheezed, her mind reeling.

"What happened between you? Did he… did he hurt you?"

Oh no. Oh no.

"Write his name down, mother. Please, write it down. And everything you remember about him. Please. Please!"

"But darling, what is…"

She couldn't hold on to his name, not even that. What had been done to her kept happening. It was him who had been removed from her memories and even though she could not remember, she realized that meant he had been important to her. And if his name kept disappearing from her memory as soon as he had heard it… did that mean… the Genjutsu is still active…?

"Get Tsunade, mama, please!"

Oh no. Oh no. Her world was falling to pieces around her. She couldn't… she couldn't… Please, somebody stop this…

"I'm writing it down for you, Sakura. Everything I know. Don't worry about a thing."

A pen rushed over paper, forming words, memories… hope.

###

"This way?"

The silver haired boy nodded and pulled at his hand again, leading him deeper into the thick forest. For someone whose nose was usually so good, Kakashi had a hard time not to lose the cherry blossom scent in the air. That realization made him anxious.

He was trapped inside a Genjutsu. He recognized the feeling, the limbs that felt so heavy and useless, the pressure inside his head, the whirling thoughts that went nowhere but into darkness. He had only very little control here and he hated it.

But he also had no Sharingan anymore. He had absolutely no clue how to get out.

The little boy had stopped speaking a while ago and when Kakashi looked at him, he seemed to have lost substance. Kakashi worried about him. He did not seem to be from the Genjutstu, but what else could he be? At first, he had believed this was a younger version of himself, but the boy's eyes were green, like the color of fresh spring leaves.

"Do you have a name?" Kakashi asked him, but the boy shook his head.

Kakashi had read enough ghost stories in his life to know that names were powerful and helped to bind souls. Maybe it would work inside a Genjutsu too?

"I will call you Haru," Kakashi decided, finding an echo of this name in his head. Haru…ne? Haru… no?

The scent of cherry blossoms intensified.

I knew this would happen, didn't I? Kakashi thought. I hid a sign.

Suddenly, they stood before a large wall that was full with glowing seal tags. There were at least five different symbols and the tags had three colors: blue, yellow and red. He counted them twice: Seven red, seven blue, seven yellow. Three layers of seals.

Complicated.

"I learned from the best," Kakashi told Haru with a smile, "from Sensei Minato, an absolute master of Fuinjutsu."

He began to amass chakra. No Sharingan? Minato Sensei hadn't had one either.

"Will you teach me this?" Haru asked, bending closer.

"Sure," Kakashi nodded. "By coincidence, I'm also a Sensei. And not a bad one either! Come, I'll show you."

His way out was behind this wall, Kakashi knew. Would Haru be able to come with him?

###

A bit later, the world stabilized. Tsunade who had come to examine her assured Sakura that she was no longer caught in a Genjutsu even though it felt like it to her. Apparently, there always were aftershocks, even days later.

"I don't know this particular Genjutsu," Tsunade said with a frown, "but I had a chance to study the effects of Tsukuyomi back in the day. It's often by sheer willpower that one can shake the effects."

"You have that," Sakura's mother smiled down on her, "you are a tenacious little thing if you set your mind to something."

Sakura smiled and nodded. Her mother was right, she could do this.

"I don't think memories can be deleted entirely," Tsunade mused. "I've never heard of such a powerful jutsu. I know they can be altered though and that's what I think happened to you. Don't forget, Genjutsu are elaborate lies to make you believe they're true. If you believe in their erasure, they're as good as erased."

It made sense, Sakura thought. It made complete sense. She nodded again, puzzling over a mind who believed one thing when it should believe another.

"Well," Tsunade said and rolled her shoulders, "I'm calling it a day. If you keep healing like this, you can leave the hospital in three days."

Already?

"If I get my hands on who did this to you," Tsunade said through gritted teeths, putting a hand on Sakura's shoulder, "they'll be sorry they ever lived."

At that statement, there was a sound at the door and everybody looked up. It was Sasuke, hesitating at the door.

"I'm just about to leave, Sasuke," Sakura's mother managed a bright smile. "Come on in. Unless Sakura is too tired for another visitor…?"

"It's okay," Sakura said, not sure how to feel about his appearance. "I'm tired, but it's fine if he doesn't stay too long."

Sasuke shrugged and sauntered in, looking handsome and so very cool in his black cape, his Rinnegan hidden by his fringe, his one visible eye dark and mysterious. Sakura hated him a little for looking like this, for catching her foolish heart so easily.

"Tsunade, Mrs. Haruno," he greeted them stiffly, "how do you do?"

"I'd prefer my daughter to be out of the hospital," her mother answered lightly, "but apart from that…"

As pretty much always, the sarcasm went right over Sasuke's head. He stood a bit to the side like someone absolutely not belonging as Sakura and her mother said their goodbyes.

"I'll be back tomorrow, Sweetie," her mother assured her gently. "Tsunade said your dad can join me this time, you are well enough for two visitors at once."

"Tell him I can't wait." No tears. Sakura wouldn't cry in front of Sasuke like a baby. She waved instead, putting on a brave smile.

"You can sit here," she pointed at the chair her mother had vacated once her mother and Tsunade had gone out the door.

"Your face looks hideous," Sasuke pressed out after taking his seat. It seemed to upset him quite a bit.

"Tsunade keeps telling people it will be just like before. I don't believe it either."

Sasuke tilted his head to study her once again. "Why would she lie?"

"Because she wants to spare my feelings? You could try it too from time to time, it does wonders in a relationship."

"I brought those papers you kept pestering me about," Sasuke changed the topic abruptly, pulling them from his cape and putting them in front of her page by page.

The divorce papers. He had signed them.

"About that…"

He frowned. "Don't tell me you've changed your mind? After all that drama?"

Had she?

"I just thought…," Sakura took a deep breath. Time to tell him. "Sasuke, you should know that… I am pregnant."

Sasuke swore viciously and Sakura blinked, totally perplexed. Okay? She hadn't expected him to hate it that much. Hadn't he told her not too long ago he wanted to reestablish the Uchiha line?

"I'm sorry, I know it wasn't planned, but…"

"No," Sasuke said coldly.

Sakura shut her mouth abruptly, not sure whether to scream or cry. What?

"Why?" she pressed out. "Why do you hate me so much?"

"Huh?" Sasuke pulled a face. "Hate you? I don't hate you Sakura. Would I have married you if I did? Don't be stupid. But this child… it's not mine."

Not… his…? The room started spinning and she had to close her eyes for a second.

"I can't believe I have to tell you this. How muddle-headed are you?" his visible eye's expression was dark and stormy. "This situation is shit. Why do you think you want to divorce me?"

"Because…" … because they were no longer in love? What other reasons were there? Because it had been a stupid mistake and she had finally seen reason? Or because…

Sakura's eyes roamed around the room, her heart beating fast. Wasn't there something… something… her eyes fell on the notebook her mother had placed on the side table.

"It's because of Kakashi," Sasuke pressed out. "Kakashi - who has somehow been deleted from your mind by that Nohara bitch who disfigured you. She is crazy about him, for whatever insane reason. Do you understand?"

No. No - she didn't. Or maybe she did. If she could only hold on to that thought… that thought...

"You had an affair with him," Sasuke continued coldly. "I'm sure that child is his - you're not the kind of woman to sleep around."

"Say it again," Sakura stammered.

"Huh?!"

"Say it again," Sakura pleaded. "Tell me about him. Please, Sasuke."

His mouth an angry line, Sasuke shook his head.

"I cannot… I cannot hold on to anything about him," Sakura said pleadingly. "Only if someone says his name I briefly remember him. My mother wrote things down that she knows. Can you… can you read it and add things you know?"

"Oh sure, if you want to hear the very worst about your lover," Sasuke scoffed. But he took the pen Sakura held out to him and started flicking through the notebook. "Even the old ladies gush about him," he murmured, "it's so embarrassing."

He began to scribble. Thought for a bit, scribbled again. Let out a huff of air. Wrote more.

"You really don't remember anything?" he asked with a flick of his head. "Team 7? Naruto and how annoying he was?"

"I do," she said, "I remember you and Naruto."

"And who do you think was our Sensei?" Sasuke shook his head at her in disbelief. "Seriously, how can you forget only part of the past?"

There was a hole where her Sensei should be. A hole and a splitting headache.

"He is a lazy guy but I guess he has quite a bit of talent for someone not from the Uchiha clan. Though he got his fame because of my clan's dōjutsu kekkei genkai."

"Tell me more."

Of course, there was a lot to tell. Sasuke hated Kakashi, at least he said so every other sentence, but Sakura could tell he respected him far more than he wanted to admit. Actually, Sakura remembered seeing Sasuke this animated only when he talked about Sarada. Maybe Kakashi had been a little bit like an older brother to Sasuke if not like a father, she mused. Only that Sasuke had never allowed himself to let go of the memory of his real flesh and blood.

"One of these days, I want to battle with him again, and not just Taijutsu," Sasuke grumbled, putting down the pen and the notebook with a look of disgust. "I want to beat his ass so hard he cannot walk for weeks."

"I am sorry if I hurt you," Sakura blurted out. Oh, Sasuke. If only he would allow himself to be healed by those who wanted to help him.

"Yeah, okay," Sasuke said, avoiding looking into her eyes. "I know that I hurt you too… with Sarada. Not sure it's a good excuse to say I wasn't quite myself back then. Now that I got your serum, it all feels… different. Calmer. I used to have… rages. There are things I don't remember."

Sakura nodded. Yes, she understood all this.

"I think the toxin from Karin's skin will help you use your full potential in the future, even without the edge from the Uchiha illness."

"What are you suggesting? That I tie her to myself so I can bite her when needed?"

Was that an attempt at humor? From Sasuke?

"I guess we can make another serum for you to carry around. That or… pills."

"Okay," Sasuke said and nodded. "More convenient."

"Will you and Karin…?"

"No," Sasuke scoffed. "I can't stand her half the time."

"Please make sure she spends time with Sarada though," Sakura said. "I know she's unstable, but it is fine if it's the three of you and you can keep an eye on her."

Sasuke threw her a look. "Yeah, I'll do that. And it's okay if you keep seeing Sarada like before. She really likes you. And Kakashi."

Kakashi! Sakura frowned, frantic in her need to…

"Here," Sasuke said and thrust the notebook into her hands. "Read about him in here. So I guess we're soon leaving Konoha to go look for him, him being our Hokage and such. I'm not sure I have time to say goodbye. We shouldn't stay away more than a week or so... see you around."

He lifted his hand, threw her one last, intense look and then left quickly.

Huh. So they really had made up, but not like she had initially believed. Sakura opened the notebook and flicked to the last page.

Kakashi is a pompous ass, Sakura read what Sasuke had written down, I hate him. But he's a very good Shinobi and seems to have other qualities people in the village value. Leadership qualities, I guess. He also went on and on about teamwork and I hated it because I never believed people could work together. I always thought there was only hate in the world and that it was the only true emotion. I guess I was wrong and he wasn't. Look who's the loser now. I will try to learn how to be a better person for my daughter who I realize looks up to me. I have things to teach her that were important to my mother, to my father and to my brother. Yeah, so… I guess Kakashi is better for you. I could never give you what you wanted. But you always made me want to come back to Konoha and I am glad I did. So I owe you a lot. And I will keep coming back because it's a habit now. Maybe we can have a drink together from time to time? Thank you.

That night, Sakura dreamt about a cherry blossom forest. It spanned the whole world and it was soothing and peaceful. She was gently rocking her body so that the tenacious little thing who had grown so very dear to her could go to sleep. It was warm here but not too warm - it was spring, the season of hope and new beginnings. It was bright but not too bright - her eyes did no longer hurt.

She looked up when she caught a movement from the corner of her eye. There, underneath the trees…

Two silver manes caught the light of the sun and she caught her breath. Two people stepped forward, one tall, one little. In her dream, she realized she had been waiting for them.

"Sakura," the taller of the two said. "Sakura, I'm so sorry I got lost!"

"Kakashi," Sakura whispered, tears streaming down her face, "Kakashi, I knew you would come back."

"My love," he breathed as he folded her into his strong embrace, "I am so sorry I wasn't here to protect you."

A small hand slipped into hers. The boy with the silver hair and the moss green eyes looked up at her and smiled.

"It will be alright now," he said.

And Sakura believed it would be.