Chapter 11: Come back to Me

"This is madness," Fili whispers to her. "We're hiding behind a wall while people die for our cause. Where even is he?"

"Dwalin has gone to talk to him," Gailien answers. After some thought, she is sure that they join in, or at least she leaves them eventually. Her death is on the horizon and the deepest part of her gut tells her that it is today. "I'm not sure if there is talking to him anymore really."

"There has to be something!" he exclaims in a hushed cry. "Something we can do to bring him back."

"Let me know if you have any ideas," she replies helplessly. "He'll probably kill me if I go anywhere near him."

"Don't joke about that," Fili chides, giving her a stern eye.

"I wasn't."

Gailien walks away, joining Kili who sits on the ground. She sits behind him turning her back towards his and leans up against it. She needs to tell someone, someone who won't stop her from going out there when she eventually does. Just someone who will take the information and not do anything with it until necessary.

Maybe she could tell Thorin. He wouldn't care. At this point, he might even rejoice at the news.

Gailien turns around, raising to her knees and wraps her arms around Kili's neck, resting her head between his shoulders. "Thank you," she says quietly into his ear.

"For what?" he asks, tilting his head over his shoulder.

"For being my first friend here. For standing by me even though Dori tried to convince you otherwise. For taking my teasing and for not judging me for my blood."

Kili laughs softly, hugging her arms that hang by his chest. "I think I should be thanking you for putting up with me. For saving my life probably more than once."

"It's been a pleasure to do so," she teases. She leans over his side, brushing away part of his fringe. "Maybe after all of this you could find Tauriel." Kili blushes, looking down at the floor and shrugs. Gailien smiles affectionately, resting her forehead against his temple. "I think she's a very beautiful Elf. Kind, smart. Perfect for a son of Durin."

"Well I'm glad you think that I'm not still fawning over you," he mumbles coyly.

"Truthfully, I would never have known if your brother hadn't said anything. It turns out that I'm oblivious to these things," she replies, leaning back on her rear. "But I am flattered. I don't give you enough credit sometimes, how strong you actually are. When I first met you, I saw a boy, but you haven't been that for a long time."

"Now I'm flattered," he cheeks, smiling to the ground. "Maybe a little insulted too."

Gailien laughs softly, placing a kiss on his hair. "Don't be". Dwalin returns to the company, a distant and mournful ocean in his eyes. "I'll be back." Gailien stands, striding over to Dwalin. "Can we talk for a moment? Alone?"

Dwalin shakes his head. "I was useless, lass. My words didn't make a difference."

Gailien closes her eyes, sucking her teeth. "What I expected sadly. But that's not what I want to talk about."

Dwalin frowns, looking past her to the company then over his shoulder. His gestures with his head to follow and the two leave into one of the hallways then further into one of the chambers so their conversation cannot be overheard. Dwalin waits in the centre of the room as Gailien paces around for a few minutes, working up the courage.

"You're going to wear the stone down," Dwalin muses. Gailien stops her movements, dropping her shoulders.

"I'm going to die, Dwalin," she states, throwing her arms out to the side, letting them fall and clap against her thighs. "I saw it and I don't have any way to know how to stop it."

"Wh…When are you going to die?" Dwalin croaks out, shuffling his weight.

"Today," she answers. "I think. It wasn't really clear, but I just know."

"And why are you telling me?" Dwalin demands. "Do you wish for me to protect you?"

"No," she sighs, taking a long breath to collect her thoughts. "I just want somebody to know that I know it is going to happen. That I'm willingly give my life up."

"So you want me to bear the guilt of when you do and I haven't stopped it," he growls. "So, when Thorin cries over your dead body, I get to be the one to tell him that you knew."

Gailien steps back in shock. She has chosen Dwalin since she thought he would be the one that is least likely to cause any sort of fuss, yet someone she trusts dearly. "I don't want you to bear anything for me," she counters. "This is my decision. I just need someone to know that I made it."

"This is going to kill them, you know that?" he spits.

"And what if I die for them? What if I die saving someone?" she counters. "I don't know how I go down, but I know that it is not going to be because I stood back."

"I'm not going to be the one to tell them." Dwalin shakes his head, stepping back towards the exit. He opens his mouth to say something more, but it closes after a moment of nothing and he strides back out towards the company.

"That isn't how I saw it going down," she says to herself, rubbing her forehead. "Does nothing ever go to plan?! And now I've got to find a way to get that damn Arkenstone back, preferably before my death. I would punch the wall, but I know I'll probably break something." Gailien marches out of the chamber, heading in the opposite direction of the camp. "Oh great, now I'm actually talking to myself out loud. I don't think I've ever gotten to this point. Congratulations world, you brought me to the point of babbling on like a lunatic."

"I don't think you're a lunatic."

Gailien screams, her legs jumping into the air as she spins around. Thorin stands in an adjacent hallway that she has just passed. He has shredded his fur-lined coat and he no longer wears the crown. In fact, he doesn't look anything like he has the past few days.

Her hands slowly drop from her chest. "Thorin?"

Thorin takes a step towards her and she takes another one back, feeling the ghost of his hands on her. Thorin frowns, stopping his movement but it is that hesitation that shows her what she wants to know.

"You're back," she gasps, her chest caving in. "You're back, aren't you?"

"I have been so foolish, amrâlimê," he whispers, taking another step forward. "Blinded by greed that I haven't been able to see what I was becoming. Who I was becoming."

Gailien doesn't wait to hear anymore, because she can hear him – her Thorin in his voice. She runs to him, jumping up and wraps all four limbs around him. Thorin grunts, falling back on his behind but manages to keep them both upright.

Her laugh mixes with a dry sob, her hands clawing at his back.

"I am so sorry," Thorin whispers. "For what I have said, what I have done. What I have accused you of."

Gailien shakes her head, leaning back and cups his face. "It wasn't you. I know that and you're proving it to me now once more." She pulls him into a firm kiss, her hands running through his beard and Thorin enjoys having her weight on him and her fingers tugging in all the right places. "I love you so much."

"You are worth more to me than any stone," Thorin says between their kisses, his lips dragging over her skin. Gailien grins, swapping to pulling gently at his braids as his hands settle on her rear. "I want you to know that." His eyes close, head tilting as she tugs his hair. She leans forwards, kissing his cheek, then between his eyes then to the other side. A deep sound comes through his throat as she sits deeper in his lap.

"I've never wanted anything more," she whispers, her lips turning into a small smirk. "But I think we have the battle to get to."

Thorin pulls back where he was kissing. "Unfortunately, I think you're right."

Xx

Gailien stands back as Thorin walks towards the sober company. They stand and sit around silently, their weapons and armour strewn about as their battle is fought without them. Kili is the first to notice Thorin. He pushes off the stone seat she left him at, and he marches forward to meet Thorin.

"I will not hide behind a wall of stone, while others fight our battles for us!" he cries, the emotion pouring out of him. "It is not in my blood, Thorin."

Thorin smiles, one they see rarely before, let alone now. "No, it is not. We are sons of Durin, and Durin's folk do not flee from a fight." Kili's expression slowly changes, his eyes watering. Thorin's smile widens and they lean in to touch foreheads. Gailien covers her mouth, holding her own tears as she watches Kili brace himself, lest he cries in front of all of them. It takes quite the load of willpower not to sprint over and hug them both, but this is a moment between uncle and nephew that is not for her.

Most of the time she sees him as a young boy, still verging into adulthood, but he is more than that. He's a prince, and a strong man. Just like his uncle.

Thorin steps away, leaving Kili smiling to himself. "I have no right to ask this of any of you, but will you follow me, one last time?" The Dwarves pick their weapons up, bearing them towards their king. It is a moment of pride for the company but Gailien has to change the atmosphere unless she wants to fall into a fit of happy tears.

"Alright!" she claps once, moving out of the shadows. "Armour up! Weapons ready, let's go, go, go!" She fists her palm, jogging back into the centre. Her words act as a catalyst and the Dwarves begin suiting up, much faster than she has seen before. Already ready, she begins helping Fili with the straps over his shoulders. "Ready for war, Malthen amel?"

"Is anybody ever?" he counters.

"You're probably right." Her smile dimmers as she remembers the reason why she hasn't already left. "Can you…stay with me, please? Through the battle." She doesn't want to die alone.

Fili frowns but nods. "Are you scared?" he asks quietly.

"Yeah," she whispers, giving him a half-smile. "I can fight well enough, but I've never been into a battle before."

"I'll stay by your side till the end," he promises, laying a hand over hers as she finishes his last clasp. Gailien wraps him up in a tight hug, knowing that is likely her last with anybody, let alone him. From over his shoulder, she sees Dwalin shaking his head at her with a slight glare. Her own drops, feeling like she has done something wrong.

"Hugs all 'round, eh?"

Another body leans against her back and Gailien giggles as Kili's arms wrap around her from behind, trapping her between the brothers. "I might die before even reaching the battle if you don't let me breathe," she teases. Kili snorts, letting them go and Gailien falls back to the side of them. She bends down, picking up the bow and quiver that she left here, strapping them on.

"We should go hunting together after all this," Kili says, checking all his weapons are in place. "Just you and me with our bows."

Gailien plants a hard smile, nodding. "I would love that." And she would, if it could ever happen.

She feels sick to the stomach and as soon as Kili turns away from her the faux smile drops and her arms wrap around her stomach. Though she wants to spend as much time as she can with them, she fears that their boots may be covered in her breakfast if she doesn't get them out of her mind.

It's not like they won't be fine without her. In just a few days they'll start to move on, going on with their lives as the princes of Erebor and she will become a distant memory that hopefully the smile fondly at. They have other people in their lives, their mother, Thorin, the other Dwarves. But those boys are her family, and if anything happens to them, she will find this world a dark place to live in.

But there is another she cares about.

"Have you seen anything?"

The Dwarves start readying themselves to go out, the bell being pulled back to knock down their stone fortress locking them in, and the enemies out. Gailien shakes her head. "No," she answers.

"I thought we promised not to lie," Thorin retorts but his voice is soft, searching her eyes. You lie. You always have and always will. It is not often that they would lie to each other and for her to do so, there must be a reason. "Is it something we should try to change, or let happen?"

"I don't know," she answers truthfully, the pair walking to the side so they are not in the path of the bell. "But I don't think I can change it, even if I wanted to. I haven't seen enough to know how it happens."

"Just promise me one thing."

"What's that?"

"Come back to me."

Gailien turns her head to look up at him, a small smile that doesn't reach her eyes playing on her lips. "Of course," she answers. And that answer doesn't sit well with the King.

Thorin eyes her for a moment by Bombur begins blowing the large horn on the battlement. Gailien unsheathes her blades, holding them down by the side of her legs. As promised, Fili comes, standing by her side and they nod to each other silently then the large golden bell is released, crashing through the only thing keeping them in.

Alright, short chapter but I've written long ones for the oncoming battle. Also, thank you for your support!