Chapter 32

Now that it was getting later into the evening, everyone was heading to their homes for the night. Tifa had offered Cloud and Zack to stay in one of the extra back rooms, but before all of that, Zack had to go back and gather their items from the church. There was that and probably also letting Aerith know of the moving situation.

"Cloud, why don't you stay here and help Tifa clean up and stuff. Would it be good to catch up with her, yeah?"

"Oh, uh yeah I could," Cloud replied softly as he glanced to Tifa who was washing a few of the glasses.

"All right buddy, I'll see you soon okay?"

"Okay," Cloud nodded before moving closer to the bar to presumably talk to Tifa.

Zack headed out and started to make his way back to sector 5. Along the way he replayed everything in his mind that had just transpired, making sure everything seemed right. They had a more secure place to stay, and they had a group that they could work for to get the money they needed. On top of that they were going to get back at Shinra all at the same time. It all seemed perfect, but Zack knew he had to still take it easy. Jumping in too soon could only lead to bad things in the end.

After all, look where he had almost ended up for rushing into things before. He didn't like to think about that. He shuddered slightly as he walked, but quickly shook his head.

"All right, no going back to that. It's in the past…" he told himself sharply. "Nice and easy… just gotta think things through. Yeah… I can do that."

Upon arriving back at the church, he peered inside slowly, checking if Aerith was in at the moment. As he expected he saw her tended to her flowers. She seemed to be humming softly, but the sound seemed to carry in the space of the church.

Zack lingered in the doorway as he listened. Her song sounded full of emotion, ranging from soothing to melodic. He started to smile a bit as he watched, wishing he could just listen forever. But he knew better than that. He knew sooner or later he would have to make his presence announced otherwise he would just seem like a creep trying to watch her.

Clearing his throat he entered into the church and Aerith stopped her song. She turned around and smiled as Zack walked in. "Oh Zack, I didn't know you would be back yet."

"It's fine. Just came to gather up the stuff. Cloud and I, we kind of got a place to stay for now over in Sector 7."

"Oh! That's wonderful to hear Zack," Aerith replied as she stood up, clasping her hands together. "Are you sure it's safe though?"

"Yeah, staying at a place that belongs to one of Cloud's childhood friends. That's why he's not with me at the moment. He stayed back there to catch up and stuff," Zack replied before walking over to where he had left his stuff from the prior night.

"I'm glad. It probably is safer than camping out here every night."

"I wouldn't mind…" Zack muttered. "I'd get to see you more often anyways."

"What was that? I don't think I quite heard you," she said, seemingly hiding a grin on her face.

Zack almost didn't want to say it again, but he was never one to shy away from his words. "I just said, I'd get to see -"

"I heard you," Aeirth interrupted with a slightly giggle. "You still have a way with words, don't you?"

He turned towards her after he had gathered most of the items. "Well, you know me. I don't know how to hold back usually. But, I just don't want things to… ya know."

"Yeah… I know what you mean. Don't worry about it though," she said as her voice grew softer.

The two of them looked at each other intently for a moment before turning away. Zack breathed out as he rubbed his arm, his mechanical arm. It was just a natural instinct to do such a motion but he could still feel that it was different. The movement and sensory using it felt like a real arm, but touching it still felt wrong. It was still hard and metal, and a hard reminder of how he nearly failed.

He looked over to what he had gathered, noticing he had everything he needed. He cleared his throat swiftly and spoke up.

"I, guess I should get going then."

But he wanted to stay. More than anything else, he wanted to spend more time with her. However, he could sense the pressure in the air around them, and he didn't want to make things too strange. At least, not any more than they were already.

As he reached down to gather his things, he felt a tug on his arm slightly. His eyes glanced back to see the flower peddler looking at him with her emerald eyes, the light refracting in them with such a glow he was entranced.

"Wait, Zack… don't go yet. I mean, if you wanna stay longer, that is."

His eyes widened at her words, but his heart fluttered inside of him so quickly. "Well, I guess if you insist," he spoke with a cheer, or at least one as best as could muster. "Just don't… wanna overstay my welcome."

'Shit, why did I say that.' That was the question indeed. That's not something he would have normally spoken aloud. Maybe Zack had allowed his emotions to get the better of him this time. He could only guess how she would react.

A soft sigh escaped from Aerith's young lips. "You're not," she said simply before letting go of his arm and pacing around in a circle.

She grabbed her other hand behind her back and pranced around in a circle repeatedly. It was almost as if she was dancing, but it wasn't exactly the same feeling. At least from what Zack could tell.

Still, he watched her closely as she moved, not wanting to miss a single moment he could see her. He wanted to speak up, but he didn't want to slip up again.

"Did you," she began before stopping hesitantly in both her body and speech. "Did you get my letters I sent?"

"Of course! Tseng gave them to me after finding me outside of Midgar. I read them all… all 89 of them. I loved each and every one you wrote, really helps give an insight… to what I missed…"

She could sense the pain in those last words. But she could also feel it inside of her own heart. An immense sadness enveloped her, but at the same time, an overwhelming joy wrapped its imaginary arms around that negativity in an attempt to keep it at bay. Aerith felt like a glass cage that could just burst at any moment.

"I'm… glad to hear it. That you at least read them. I… Zack…". She lost her words.

"I just wish… things would have turned out differently. All that time just… lost," he spoke solemnly.

It wasn't like him to harbor feelings such as those, much less allow them to come out if they developed. But he couldn't help himself. It's as if all of his true feelings were bursting out of him at that moment. Aerith was the only one he trusted like that, more than anyone. It was just this feeling he had that made his heart flutter.

The awkward silence between them continued, neither one knowing what to say afterwards. But soon enough, there was a voice that filled the empty church once again.

"Zack… I know it might be wrong to ask. But, what happened all those years ago? Please… I just need to know. I know you told me some of it before, but I have a feeling there is more to it. I can see it in your eyes."

There it was. He had a feeling that would come up, but he was hoping to avoid it. To avoid thinking back on everything, on what was done to him… to Cloud. He had been so vague beforehand on telling Aerith what it was that had happened, but that was mainly to save himself the trouble of thinking about it again. But it was too late. Flashes of the past raced through his mind as he stood there, eyes fluttering as if watching a movie reel on rewind.

"No…"

He never felt the tears form in his eyes, or when they started to fall down his cheek. Even his legs starting to rattle was something he was numb to, as he was lost in the furrows of his own mind. He couldn't even think straight anymore, everything was so foggy and cloudy.

With a loud thump, he dropped to the floor on his knees.

"Zack!"

Aerith's cry wasn't heard though, but she rushed over to the former SOLDIER without a second thought. She was normally more calm, but with her emotions in flux, it was harder than she was used to. But she then thought back to all those years ago. Slowly, she wrapped her arms around his neck as she leaned against his back, laying her head on his shoulder.

She began to cry too.

Zack soon enough could start to hear some sound coming back, his ears ringing loudly like a bomb had gone off. His vision started to come back and he tried to look to see where he was. "Wait, are these… tears? And why am I on the ground. And my neck feels heavier. Wait, who's…?"

A peripheral glance back told him what he needed to know. And once he heard the slight whimper coming from behind him, his heart sank. He didn't want her to cry, but in a way he could understand. He wanted to comfort her, but he couldn't even find the strength to try and stand. He lowered his head in his hands and just let his emotions take over as the two of them sat in an embrace.

"A-Aerith… I'm sorry…" he whispered, his voice weak and unstable. "I shouldn't have…"

"No Zack. You gotta stop hiding like this. Can't you see how much it's hurting you to store it all away like this?"

"But I shouldn't. I'm hurting you because I'm weak like this," Zack replied, still unable to find his solid voice again.

"Zack!" Aerith shouted. Moving to sit in front of him she held him tightly by his shoulders. "Stop thinking you are weak for showing emotions. That's what makes you human! You need to think… you gotta let yourself be open. Please…"

"But I… how can I…" Zack whispered. He felt so uncertain how he was to handle all of this. How could he manage such things and still be fine and fit to fight?

"You can, just by being open. Just tell me what's going on Zack," Aerith spoke gently like she always did. Soft music to Zack's ears that would usually help to calm him down. He knew that she was trying her best to get through, but he feared what she would think when he spoke the truth.

"Well I -" he stopped mid-thought.

Should he really tell her? That thought surged and caused conflict internally. He wanted to say what really happened. But, some force was holding him back.

"I don't know..." he finished as he hung his head.

"Zack…" Aerith sighed deeply. She placed a hand on Zack's face and tilted her head towards his. "Your eyes are filled with so much sorrow. You're carrying a big burden… but it's okay to share that with others. Don't let it break you."

Her emerald eyes were filled with so much compassion, sorrow, and worry. He could easily tell. Though the color was the same as the mako. The same mako that was in him and Cloud. It was the same mako that made Cloud have issues. That made him do… that.

"I just try to not think about it," he spiked through gritted teeth. "It just sucks!" He finally burst out louder than intended.

Aerith flinched back. "Zack, you need to calm down!"

"How the hell am I supposed to calm down?! They did this to me and Cloud. Made him do..." he paused before going any further, trying to reign himself in.

Aerith could see that Zack's was shaking. Along with his angiered breaths his eyes were full of rage, yet at the same time anguish. The pain that was mixed into his eyes was still hard to notice but Aerith was not one to overlook things.

"Zack… what did they make him do?"

"They... he..." Zack gritted his teeth for a moment. "I don't want to have to remember it all."

Humming Aerith closed her eyes. She stroked his cheeks gently once more. "I'm sorry Zack. I wish I could help you more. But don't forget I am here if you want to talk about it."

Her caress felt like bliss, causing his face to heat up slightly. He almost smiled, but instead, Zack sighed heavily.

"I know you are and... I want to tell you. Just, not now. Maybe after it's all figured out. I still don't even know what to do..."

"Hmm I see. What I can say is don't give up. I know you're stronger than this. I'll be ready when you are."

"Thanks, Aerith," he simply said.

He turned his face to look back at her. Somehow, seeing her warm look was able to calm him slightly. "You always did know just what to say."

"I still do," Aerith replied sweetly. "Promise me that you'll take care of yourself, okay?"

Normally, Zack would throw a smile her way so she'd know not to worry. But he knew it would be no use now.

"I'll do my best, okay? You know me after all, always fighting through," he finished with a half-hearted chuckle.

"That's good! I know your heart is always strong. So..." Aerith paused for a moment. "Does this mean you'll be heading off? It's getting late after all."

"I guess so," he said as he looked up at the hole in the roof to see the darkening sky. That was how he met her all those years ago. It brought back so many memories as he stood there.

Without looking away from it he spoke to her. "You know, this was where I fell for you. Fell hard too." A small grin halfway graced his face.

Aerith laughed lightly. "Yeah I can't forget that. That was quite a day…"

"Yeah..." he said, scratching the back of his head. Not wanting to cause any more awkwardness, he shifted his sights towards the door. "Well, I'll be going now. It was… really good to see you, Aerith."

Aerith nodded. "Yeah, and Zack… please be safe. I know you didn't say anything, but I have a feeling you are going to head into trouble. So please be careful."

"I will be. You take care too. I can visit every now and then, if you want," he stated simply.

Aerith started to respond, a slight pause in her voice at first. "Y-Yeah, sure. I'm fine with that."

Attempting a half smile back at her, he turned around and walked towards the door. "All right, see you around then, Aerith," he finished as he raised his hand in a waving motion back at her.

Once he was out of the church, he exhaled loudly, something he had been holding in for a while. He could have his thoughts to himself again on the way back to Sector 7. "Still awkward? Check. When I said the price of freedom was steep, I didn't know this would be what it meant. Guess I'll be waiting a little while longer then…"

Wow well hey everyone! We are finally back with a new chapter! We're sorry for the wait but you know writers block and all on this and other things. We are making the return though so stay tuned! Thank you everyone.