It felt odd to be standing back in the bathroom and having someone supervise her as she took a shower. Elara kept her back turned, of course, but it wasn't any less odd. Was it always going to be like this?

Persephone, by the grace of Godric, had put aside her anger and found Emma's softest clothes for her to put on. She was even more grateful for the fact that Persephone had the brilliance to grab her shower things. Emma knew that her best friend was not thrilled with her, but she didn't blame her in the least. Pomfrey, seeing what Persephone brought for her, wasn't too excited. Pomfrey had insisted that Emma be placed back in the scratchy hospital clothes, but thankfully Remus had stepped in. Emma wasn't sure what Remus had said to get Pomfrey to back down, but the matron didn't seem amused.

Walking back to the bathroom had been terribly awkward and challenging. Elara had insisted that Emma take a few laps up and down the Hospital Wing beforehand just to stretch. Emma was relieved that she didn't need to rely on Elara so much to keep upright, but it was still embarrassing.

"Hey, Emma? I want to run another set of tests once you're done," Elara said, breaking through the silence.

"Another set?" Emma asked, putting her shampoo covered hair under the water. Emma wondered how many tests had been done while she wasn't awake. It already felt like she had done at least a hundred in 4 hours. The tests weren't painful, she never felt anything, but it was still strange to her. Magic was still such an odd thing to her, and she wished she understood how the medical spells worked.

"Yeah, I just want to see how things have changed since you took that last potion," Elara said.

"All right," Emma said, turning to face the water.

If you stand here long enough, you can drown yourself.

Emma shot back from the water, nearly tripping over herself and falling. She landed hard against the wall, terrified by the thought that crossed her mind. No, not again…

"Are you okay?" Elara asked, worried.

"Y – yeah," Emma said, peering around the shower curtain, grateful that Elara didn't move. She had only turned her head marginally in the direction of the shower, brow pinched with worry. "I, uh – legs."

"Did you have an Ariel moment?" Elara asked, glancing back at Emma's confused face.

"A what moment?"

"Ariel. Like The Little Mermaid? Disney?" Elara said, watching as Emma shook her head. "Merlin, have you never seen it?"

"No?" Emma ducked back into the shower. "I've heard of the book before…"

"Emma, have you never seen a Disney movie before?"

"I'm not sure," Emma admitted. "Tell me more."

Elara began to tell Emma all about Disney movies and some of her favorites. Emma was grateful as it kept her from her thoughts, and she found herself growing interested. She would have to make sure to track down some videotapes to watch the movies Elara was talking about.

Emma was grateful that she could handle getting out of the shower by herself. It was a stretch, and her legs didn't cooperate with her too well, but she used the wall to help her move.

"It's going to take time," Elara said after Emma let out a frustrated shout.

"It's walking, it shouldn't be this hard," Emma grumbled as she dried herself.

"It's also been ten days since you've used your legs."

"And there's no magic that's supposed to help?"

"There is," Elara said, "but we can't risk you getting dependent on something else…"

Guilt twisted Emma's stomach. She was so tired of feeling guilty and ashamed. "So, everyone knows about that?" She asked, annoyed at how small her voice sounded.

"Yes," Elara said sympathetically. "No one is mad at you, Emma. Mistakes were made, and it's a matter of learning and getting past it."

Emma dressed silently, not wanting to continue their conversation. As she dressed, she decided to chance looking at herself in the mirror, but when she saw herself, she frowned. She had taken to avoiding mirrors as much as possible but stole glances of herself on occasion. It was only to make sure that she didn't look like a complete mess, but this was different. Had she always looked this way?

She dressed slowly, peering at herself in the mirror with each new piece of clothing. She paused as she looked at her arms, taking in the faint lines that lined her wrists. Her fingers brushed over the most recent cuts, the one she had made just before… Emma threw her shirt on over her head, not wanting to look at them anymore.

When Emma looked back in the mirror, her mouth fell open. She knew what was different. She looked just like her mother.

"All good?" Elara asked, turning around once she was sure Emma was fully dressed.

If Elara had noticed anything different, she didn't say anything about it. Emma was almost sure there was something about the way Elara smiled at her that suddenly seemed off, but she wasn't sure.

"Yeah," Emma said after a moment. She took Elara's arm as she held it out, still feeling stupid that she couldn't walk normally. The walk back to Emma's bed was slow and awkward, but Elara continued to offer reassurances that it was normal. Emma wasn't convinced.

Remus was waiting near Emma's bed for them. He looked as impassive as ever, but the subtle tapping of his foot told Emma something was wrong. She knew that she didn't want him to see what she saw. When they were nearly at the bed, he finally looked up at them, but the moment he looked at Emma, he quickly looked away.

"Elara, could you come with me?" Remus said, turning to Elara and avoiding Emma's eyes.

Emma pushed up the sleeves of her jumper, looking between Elara and Remus curiously. She wasn't given the opportunity to question what was happening as Persephone entered the Hospital Wing. Persephone paused as she met Emma's gaze, head tilting slightly.

"Of course," Elara said, helping Emma back into bed. "I'll run those tests later, okay?"

Emma nodded, moving over so that Persephone could climb into the bed with her. She looked over at Remus, bothered that he wasn't looking at her, but was distracted by Persephone.

"Where did these waves come from?" Persephone asked, running her fingers through Emma's damp hair. "The fact that your hair is doing this and it's still wet?"

Emma watched helplessly as Elara and Remus left. She wanted to know what was going on.

"You look like Re," Persephone said, looking at Emma appraisingly, her eyes narrowed, and her lips pursed. "But for some reason, you just really look like Re. Like, not completely, but…"

"I don't know," Emma admitted, pulling a strand of hair in front of her, stretching it out, and then letting it go to see it bounce back up. Then her hand went to her fringe. "I don't look like Re. I look like my mother."

"I don't think I've ever seen what she looks like," Persephone admitted.

"I've never shown you photos? I've got a photo album in my trunk."

"I'm going to go get it," Persephone said excitedly, jumping off the bed.

In Persephone's absence, Emma had to deal with Pomfrey fretting over her, and she hated it. At least Elara gave her some room to breathe, but Madame Pomfrey did not. Emma couldn't be any more excited for Persephone's return.

Emma was unable to hide her sigh of relief when Persephone came bounding back into the Hospital Wing. Pomfrey let out a small huff but left the two alone. The girls spent what felt like forever flipping through the album together. Persephone had been amused by Remus's long hair in some of the photos.

"You really do look like her," Persephone said, stopping on a photo of Margaret that was taken somewhere on the grounds. Margaret was dressed in uniform, her jumper tied around her waist, and her sleeves rolled up. She was smiling at something off in the distance and then turned to stick her tongue out at the photo taker. "Why did you ever say that you didn't look like her?"

"Because I didn't," Emma said, "I really didn't. When have I ever had wavy hair?"

"Maybe the Hospital Wing uses different water," Persephone suggested with a shrug. "In this photo, you really look like her, though."

Emma grinned and couldn't help but stick her tongue out at Persephone. The opportunity was too perfect to pass up.

"Just like in the photo," Persephone smiled, nudging Emma with her shoulder.

The girls had nearly gone through the entire album when Remus and Dumbledore returned. Emma was bothered by the fact that Elara wasn't with them, but the fact Remus wasn't looking at her bothered her more.

"Hello, girls," Dumbledore said, giving both Emma and Persephone knowing smiles.

Persephone flushed, closing the photo album on her lap. "Hello," she said, sliding out of bed. "Er, I'm going to go put this back for you. I'll come back later."

Dumbledore waited until Persephone left to start speaking.

"Now, Emma, I'm sure that you have a lot of questions about what exactly we've been discussing today," Dumbledore said, drawing vigorous nods from Emma. "I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I must ask that you wait a little while longer." Emma deflated, not wanting to wait longer.

Dumbledore chuckled, pulling his wand back out of his pocket. "Yes, I know it's disappointing," he said, motioning for Remus to join him. "But I would at least like to return your memories to you in the meantime."

The process of having memories returned felt strange. Though it was done the same way as taking them, the sensation was more uncomfortable. Emma rubbed her temple to alleviate the prickling that she felt. She looked over at Remus, but he still wasn't looking at her, which she found frustrating.

"Thank you for sharing those with us," Dumbledore said. "I promise that everything will be explained in time. For now, I'll leave you two alone."

"Where did Elara go?" Emma asked curiously as Dumbledore turned to leave.

"She'll be back later tonight," Dumbledore smiled, leaving Emma at that.

There were a few moments where Emma just stared at Remus, willing him to look at her. The fact he wasn't looking her way made her regret letting him see anything. She looked down at her hands in her lap and rubbed her temple again. It still prickled.

"I owe you an apology," Remus said, finally looking at Emma.

"For what?" Emma asked, meeting his gaze.

"I can't say anything yet," Remus admitted, an apologetic look crossing his face at Emma's expression. "Not because I don't want to, but there are a few things we need to figure out first. But I apologize for not understanding what you were trying to tell me."

Emma was still confused, but she nodded. She was going to have to wait, and if Remus wasn't going to explain anything, she knew she had no choice. "It's okay," she said quietly.

"It's not. Not really," Remus sighed. "Why don't we take a walk? I imagine you're tired of being cooped up in here, and I'd like to talk to you."

Emma felt strange being out of the Hospital Wing, out on the grounds. She felt even stranger having to be supported by Remus, her arm looped through his to keep upright. She was growing even more frustrated and didn't understand why walking had to be so difficult. It took everything she had to ignore the looks of the other students they passed, watching curiously. News had apparently gone through the castle quickly.

Despite her aggravation, she couldn't deny that being out in the sun felt nice. Remus walked them out to the rocks near the Black Lake, helping Emma get comfortable on the sloped surface. Even that was difficult.

Pushing her aggravation out of her mind, Emma closed her eyes, tipping her face up towards the sun. The warmth felt wonderful, and she could spend all day outside if she could.

"Emma, I want you to remember this feeling," Remus said, settling on the rock next to her.

"What feeling?" Emma asked.

"The feeling of being alive."

Emma opened her eyes and looked at Remus in surprise but didn't say anything. She hesitated for a moment before leaning her head on his shoulder, turning her gaze out towards the lake. The squid was out to play, and it brought a smile to her face.

"Life is fleeting, Emma," Remus said quietly. "And I apologize for how cliché I'm about to sound, but it's true. We don't know when we're going to get another day or what fate lies before us. Every day that we wake is another opportunity, another chance to do something different from the day before." Remus put his arm around Emma's shoulder. "I know that life can be hard. I know that all too well."

"What do you mean?" Emma asked cautiously.

"Do you recall when I said that I promised to tell you more?"

"Yes," Emma said slowly, drawing out the word.

"Well, today needs to be that day. I'm still not ready to tell you everything, not yet, but…" Remus trailed off, clearing his throat. "When I was in my sixth year, I tried to end my life."

Emma's head whirled around quickly to look at Remus, in shock. She never would have expected to hear those words from him. She opened her mouth to speak but closed it quickly, entirely at a loss.

"There was an event that occurred in my sixth year that was greatly distressing to me. A secret of mine was revealed to someone, and I was worried about what would happen if others were to find out," Remus explained. "If others were to find out, my life would have been ruined. I thought that I would try to jump off the astronomy tower, but I was stopped by my friends who found me before it was too late. That was the first time I tried... I know exactly what you'll be going through for a while."

"There was another time?" Emma asked, startled that he had tried again after the first time.

Remus nodded slowly, leaning down and kissing Emma's forehead. "There were two other times," he said. "The second time, I was 21. It was just before my 22nd birthday, and I felt so incredibly alone. After I lost everyone, I was terrified. I wasn't used to being by myself because there was always someone, but then I had no one. I was the only one left. I had your grandfather, but…it wasn't the same thing." Remus hesitated for a moment, before continuing, "Emma, I'm going to tell you something that you can't repeat, and I hope that you can understand. Things were meant to be a lot different."

Emma swallowed hard but nodded. She was growing more confused by the minute.

"After that Halloween, after everything that had happened, I tried to get custody of Harry."

"Harry? Harry Potter?" Emma grew quiet, her brow furrowing as she tried to figure out why Harry was suddenly significant to the story. She turned her gaze back out to the lake, watching the squid skimming the surface of the lake. "Oh, because his parents were your friends, right?"

"They were. My plan was to take care of both of you, but that obviously never happened. I knew that it would take me longer to find you, but the plan was for me to get Harry first, get him settled, and then find you. I thought that if I had the two of you to care for, it would give my life a purpose. But that's obviously not how things worked out." Remus brushed Emma's hair out of her face as a breeze blew by. "The only thing that kept me going was the thought of both of you, but mostly you. You were both very important to me, but you were always my first priority. The third time was fairly recent."

"It was?" Emma found this even more unexpected.

"It was a week before I actually found out that you were still alive. If Dumbledore didn't come when he did…"

"Things would have been a lot different…"

"Yes, tremendously so. It's a thought that crosses my mind often." Remus sighed. "You would have probably grown up a lot happier, a lot safer, but…"

"I wouldn't have you."

"If I'm going to be honest, you would probably have been better off."

"Better off without you? I don't think so. Then I wouldn't have grandpa either."

"He would've found you," Remus said. "I feel that you would have lived with him. Your life would have been a lot different."

"But I still wouldn't have you…"

"Emma, I need you to understand that I wasn't…a good person," Remus said, taking in a deep breath. "I was not only an alcoholic, but I was also heavily into drugs." He paused to study Emma's face as she tried to process that information. It was one of the things that he was terrified of telling her, and he could see her trying to understand.

"But you're not now," Emma said into the silence.

"No," he said, "because I knew I needed to get myself together for you. It was one of the harder things I had to endure, but you were worth it."

The silence that followed was comfortable. Remus knew that Emma was going to need time to understand what she was told. He was relieved that she didn't seem upset with him but instead seemed to be reflecting.

"You were a good person," Emma finally said after a while. "You were just broken, and…you were just hurting yourself a different way."

That wasn't what Remus was expecting to hear, but it warmed his heart regardless. "I suppose you're right," he said. "I suppose you're right…"

"Dad?"

"Yes, love?"

"Do you think that Harry and I would have been friends growing up? If things were different?"

"There's a strong possibility," Remus said, alarmed at how quickly a lump formed in his throat. His thoughts went to Sirius, and he hated how affected he was years later. "I suppose I'm telling you a lot of secrets today. My partner and I were very close friends with Harry's parents. In fact, my – my partner was Harry's godfather."

Partner? Emma looked back up at Remus, startled that he was watching her. It was apparent he was anticipating her to ask. "You were with a man?" Emma asked stupidly, and she felt her face heat up immediately after saying it. "I'm sorry, that was terrible."

It was the first time Emma had heard Remus truly laugh in what felt like a long time. He pulled his arm from around Emma, grabbing onto his sides as he laughed. Even though she was terribly embarrassed, Remus's laugh made her feel like things were going to be okay.

"Stopppp," Emma whined, lying back on the rock and covering her face. "I didn't mean for that to come out the way it did."

Remus took deep breaths to calm himself. "I'm sorry, I just forget how sweet you can be, and that was incredibly innocent," he sighed, looking at Emma fondly before shaking his head. He looked back out at the lake. "At the time, I was with a man, and I was certain that he was the love of my life."

"So, you're not mad that Persephone and I were together?"

"Oh, Merlin, no. That would be awfully hypocritical of me, wouldn't it? Honestly, for me, it was the fact that I didn't think you were interested in relationships yet."

Emma sat up and pulled her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms tightly around them. "I didn't think that I was," Emma said, "but then she kissed me, and it was a lot different than I thought. It just…happened and then, for a while, everything made sense."

"Did you love her?"

"I think I always did," Emma said quietly. "But in a different way. Like, I love her, but I'm not in love with her. I love her like a sister, and I might have loved her as more than that for a little bit, but…" Emma sighed, resting her chin on her knees. "Like I liked being with Persephone. A lot. But then I think I might be able to have the same feelings for a boy. It's confusing." And it was confusing. She still wasn't sure how she was supposed to feel or what was right.

Remus nodded in understanding. He knew that feeling all too well, as well. "Little one, we are far more alike than I realized," he said, looking over at Emma to see the confusion on her face grow.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you know how you said you think you like both girls and boys?" Remus asked. A small frown appeared on Emma's face, but she nodded. "So do I."

Emma looked over at Remus, a small smile crossing her face. She had been worried about Remus being disappointed, but it was just something else they had in common. Emma turned her attention back to the lake, feeling much lighter than she had in a while.

"Oh, Merlin," Remus said suddenly, his face turning a brilliant shade of pink. "I didn't think about…"

"About what?" Emma lifted her head up, worried again.

Remus cleared his throat, "You're growing up and er, well, since you've been in a relationship…we have to…"

"No," Emma said quickly, realizing right away precisely what Remus was referring to. "You are not. I already know how everything works." Did he plan on having the talk right here?

"But it's…a little different for us," Remus muttered.

"Oh, please don't. I can't…"

"And do you think I want to?"

"Persephone's already told me…"

"And Persephone is still young. I would much rather you not learn the…particulars from your friends."

Emma groaned, pressing her forehead to her knees. "It was bad enough having to listen to the conversation once, and now I have to have it with you?"

"Regretfully so," Remus said, "but it can wait until you come home. I think I need to prepare myself."

"Good," Emma said, letting out a sigh of relief.

Remus placed a hand gently on Emma's back. "Speaking of home, Emma, you do know that things are going to have to change at home, right?"

Emma turned her head slightly to look over at Remus and then nodded.

"It's not going to be the same," he said. "It's to keep you safe. I love you too much to lose you."

"I know," Emma sighed. A yawn escaped her, and she leaned her head against Remus's shoulder, closing her eyes. It had been a very long day, and she was surprised that she had even stayed up so long. The sun was beginning to set and was bringing in the cooler air.

"Did you want to head back inside?" Remus asked.

"Not yet," Emma said, "Because going in means having to get back to reality, and I want to stay here."

"We'll stay a little while longer, then," Remus said, putting his arm around her shoulders, resting his head on hers.

"Hey, dad?"

"What is it, little one?"

"I'm sorry," Emma whispered, sounding wholly defeated. "For everything."

"I know you are, sweetheart," Remus said, pulling her closer. "We'll take things a day at a time, you're not going through this alone."

"Dad?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you…"

By the time they made their way back to the castle, the sky had grown dark. Emma, thoroughly exhausted by the day, only made it halfway to the castle before becoming too tired to walk. Rather than having her struggle further, Remus had her climb onto his back, and he carried her the rest of the way.

Emma immediately sunk into the pillows, curling up on the bed and her eyes closing.

"Whoa, not yet," Remus said with a laugh, realizing that Emma would drift off quickly if she kept her eyes closed for too long. "You need to eat something."

"But I'm tired," Emma whined.

Remus gently helped her sit up. "And you need to eat," Remus said, smiling as she grumbled and tried to glare at him through tired eyes. The effect was lost when she yawned, and she knew she was fighting a losing battle.

"Fine," she agreed.

It was halfway through eating dinner together that Remus realized that Emma was just far too tired to eat. She had nearly fallen face-first into her soup several times, and it was only due to fast reflexes that he caught her just in time.

"All right, you're going to get hurt if I don't let you sleep," Remus said with a sigh, finally giving up. She hadn't had much to eat at all, but if she woke later, he would get her something from the kitchens. He took the tray away and helped her lay back down.

"I don't wanna sleep," Emma muttered, settling down.

"Only an hour ago you were saying you were tired," Remus said, amusement thick in his voice.

"That was an hour ago," she mumbled, settling into the pillows.

"I'll be right here when you wake back up."

Emma could only let out a quiet hum in acknowledgment before quickly drifting off to sleep. Her arm wrapped around Boris, she turned onto her side, and that was where she stayed.

"Merlin, do you fall asleep that fast, too?"

Remus turned to look at Elara, her eyes twinkling brightly. "Sometimes," he admitted. "Not lately, but I can't say I can blame her. I wish she would have eaten more."

"She'll be fine," Elara said with a wave.

"Ah, Remus, she's settled down for the night?" Dumbledore asked, joining them.

"Out like a light, Professor," Elara said with a smile. "It was impressive."

"Wonderful," Dumbledore said, smiling as he looked at Emma's sleeping form. "Her being asleep will make getting answers a lot easier."

"Getting the test results relies on her not moving, so it'll certainly be a lot easier," Elara agreed. "It'll be fine, Remus," she added when she noticed the look on Remus's face.

"I'm afraid to know the truth," Remus said, looking at Elara. "Especially after I told her so many times that it was just dreams…she'll never forgive me."

"How were you supposed to know? Remus, it's not as though you got to watch her all the time," Elara insisted. "You are doing what you can for her now, and that's what you need to focus on."

"Remus, we mustn't dwell on what could have been," Dumbledore said softly. "She is here, she is alive, and that is what is important. If the results show us what we suspect, then we will know how to proceed.

"She clearly doesn't remember anything happening, Remus," Elara said. "For her to have such an empty space in her memory, it could mean anything."

"And if Greyback hurt her in that way?"

"Then we will better understand why her fear is so great," Dumbledore said. "We can only hope that isn't the case."

"And with Jude?"

"Then, we'll have more to investigate."

Remus could do nothing but accept those responses. There was nothing he could do right now, not until they had concrete answers.

"All right, then," Elara said brightly, going to retrieve parchment and a quill. Laying them down on the nightstand, she turned to Remus and Dumbledore. "This will take around ten minutes, provided she doesn't decide to wake up."

"She won't," Remus assured her. "With how exhausted she is, I'll be surprised if she moves from the spot she's in." Elara smiled at Remus as she pulled out her wand, whispering quiet incantations.

It felt like the longest ten minutes ever as Remus watched Elara's face. He felt himself begin to grow sick as the smile on her face quickly faded and then proceeded to grow pale. But all Remus could do was helplessly wait for the quill to stop scratching and for Elara to stop reciting whatever spell she was using.

"Well," Elara said slowly, once the quill stopped scratching on the parchment and dropped to the table. "The good news is that we knew already knew the more recent issues, but…"

"But what, Elara?" Remus asked coldly.

Elara looked up from the paper, looking over at Dumbledore and then meeting Remus's gaze. "It wasn't just what we thought. And it wasn't just the one time…"

There were very few times that Remus had ever felt himself start to lose control from anger. He always made it a point to keep himself level, mostly so that he could be sure that he could keep the wolf at bay. He hated the way that it made him feel, but he couldn't get himself to care. Emma had gone through enough and to find out what was happening behind closed doors…it was no wonder her nightmares were as terrible as they were.

"I'll kill them both," Remus said through a snarl. He pulled the stiff-backed chair closer to Emma's bed, practically throwing himself onto the seat. He didn't care that Jude was in St. Mungo's, he wanted to go and tear him limb from limb. And after he finished with Jude, he wanted to go find Greyback. But he couldn't leave Emma alone. Not now.

"I'll leave a copy of the results here," Elara said, placing a gentle hand on Remus's shoulder. "I'll come back tomorrow to see how she's doing." Elara took the parchment with her as she left.

"Remus, we can't change her past, but we can do our best to make sure that her future is the best it can be," Dumbledore said. "I believe that you and I should discuss this more tomorrow. I'll leave you alone for the night."

Remus said nothing as he watched Dumbledore leave. He didn't want to leave Emma's side, but he wanted to look at what the parchment said. He stood, slowly unclenching his fists, and he gently stroked Emma's hair.

He was never going to let someone hurt Emma ever again.