They had ridding for the better part of the day. Gwain was telling some story about where he was involved in a drunken fight. It half looked to Merlin as if he were trying to drag a laugh from Arthur. Arthur was as usual in front of the group.
Merlin could see that he was slightly less tense than this morning but for the most part did he not look relax at all. Merlin longed to give him the comfort he needs but knows better than to try and do anything between the knights. He wanted to show Arthur that it is alright to show vulnerability in front of his friends. That this is the one place he could be himself.
Before the sun reaches the highest peak had they found a small clearing to set up camp. They all work together, still chatting and for the most part just relaxing. They know there is no need for them to take anything home, but they were still going to try and catch some rabbits and birds for a stew in the evening.
They were near a stream at least so Merlin was not surprised when they got back to the camp after they had set snares for small animals that the knights wanted to go and swim. Merlin just gave a grin at them and went to sit a little bit away and read. He had no intentions to get wet.
Arthur almost groaned out loud when he realised the knights are going to pressure him to get into the water. The last thing he wants is them to see the scars on his body. He watched as Merlin grabbed a book and decided the easiest thing to do, would be to join him. Merlin gave Arthur a smile and patted the ground next to him.
Arthur let the pretends of his images melt away as he sank down next to Merlin. He almost melted against Merlin, his breathing even out. Merlin easily slung his arm around Arthur, pulling him slightly closer. Merlin knows the knights will not say anything or tease them. The chatter around them as the knights got ready to swim made the air peaceful.
The rest of the day passed in a slight haze, as dusk broke they went to see if they had caught anything in the snares they had set, while Merlin got the pot ready to make a stew, he had packed enough fresh vegetables that even if there is no meat no one would go hungry.
A scattering of laughter made Merlin look up, Arthur's face was red as a tomato but there was a small smile. Merlin felt like a ton of weight was lifted from his shoulders, he could see now that Arthur would heal with time, he only needs the support and love from his friends and family.
The knights helped to skin the rabbit while Merlin continued with the stew, they passed the meat they could use on to him before Arthur took the rest away from camp to dispose of it.
The knights were slightly worried, Arthur was quieter than he normally is, it took them a few tries to get him to be involved in the conversation, they all know what had gone down in the castle, it is hard to ignore it.
When they started to talk about who is going to take the first watch was Arthur the first to volunteer, he needed just a little bit of quiet around him. Leon saw the way Arthur was slightly leaning more to Merlin than was strictly necessary. He had seen how Arthur had relaxed against Merlin the afternoon. Leon could not but helped to wonder how this would turn out if the prince is going to get hurt yet again.
Leon waited until everyone was asleep before he moved to sit down next to Arthur, they were a few feet away from the camp, but the fire was high enough that they would be able to see where they are going if something happens.
Arthur gave Leon a slightly warily look, he was not in the mood to deal with anything now. Arthur knows that he could trust Leon, but the slight fear that anything he says would get back to his father, made him want to shuffle away. Leon's voice was a mere whisper. "Are you okay?" Arthur's hands clench around his knees, he does not know how to answer it, not without everything else going on around his head come spilling out.
"Arthur?" The prompt made Arthur lookup. His emotions were clear in his eyes, the fear, the confusion. "No, it gets better some days and other days I can't even leave the bed." His voice was rough. "I am a failure for this kingdom." The last part a mere whisper. Leon looks at him unsure of what to say or do.
The silence stretches a little bit and Arthur started to feel that small ball winding tight in his chest again. "I am sorry, I should not have bothered you with this." Leon frowned slightly when Arthur suddenly projected a little bit more confidence, he realized quickly that it is fake.
"Can you remember when you were fifteen and we had to raid that Druid camp?" Leon made sure to keep his voice even, the last thing he wants to do is hurt the prince even more. But he needs to be showed that what he said is not true.
Arthur gave him a weird look, before nodding. There is no way that he would be able to forget it. No matter how he tried to make sure the guards and knights did not kill them, the more of a slaughter it had been.
"That evening, when we made camp, you screamed at them for slaughtering the druids as they need were mindless beasts. You tried to make a point of them begin still humans even when they had magic. That is when I realised that I would stay a knight because when you finally take the throne you would be a King, that would serve with justice and empathy." Leon gave Arthur shoulder a small squeeze. "We all will follow you, Arthur, we saw and heard everything you tried to do for Camelot." The quiet reassurance gave Arthur something to think about.
Leon wished he could say anything else, but he knows that Arthur will come to them if he wants the advice he would need. Leon slowly stood up to leave, giving Arthur the change if he wants to say something, that he could.
Arthur just sat there in the silence as his mind raced, he still felt unsure about everything but maybe there would be hope for a better future.
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