Chapter 30

Rachel was walking across the yard with Ike when she saw riders coming. Ike stopped and pushed Rachel behind him until he recognized Kid's horse. He started pointing. Rachel smiled and ran into the house. She came back out with Lou and Teaspoon as they made their way into the yard. Teaspoon walked over as they pulled to a stop. Kid and Cody swung down and went over to help Jimmy down. He slowly slid down grasping the saddle horn. Lou couldn't contain herself. She ran over to them. Teaspoon and Rachel walked up a short distance away.

"You don't know how happy I am to see you." Said Lou.

Jimmy didn't answer. He just stood with his head pressed against the side of his horse. Kid on one side and Cody on the other.

"Jimmy?"

"It's been a hard ride, Lou. He needs a minute." Said Kid.

"Was he ok to leave?" Asked Rachel.

"Didn't really have a choice." Said Cody.

Lou stood anxiously waiting to see if anything had changed. Jimmy finally pushed away from the horse and turned to look at the others. He stood for a minute before looking down at Lou's bruised face.

"Jimmy, how are you?" She asked quietly.

He looked down at her and closed his eyes. Cody and Kid came up closer behind him as he went to move. Lou yelled out as he collapsed. Kid and Cody caught his arms before he hit the ground.

"Let's get him in the bunkhouse." Said Kid to Cody.

The others followed behind. They laid him on a bunk while Rachel pulled his boots off. Lou pulled a blanket over him.

"He's just tired. He wouldn't stop for a break on the way here."

"He looks pale." Said Rachel.

"He looks a lot better than he did two weeks ago. Mason said that he needs to eat. That's been a hard chore to get him to do it."

"How's Buck?" Asked Cody.

"He's hanging in there. He's much better than the day you left. He was lucky." Said Rachel.

"How is he really, Kid?" Asked Lou looking down at Jimmy.

Teaspoon looked at the others and nodded to the door. They walked out and left Kid alone with Lou.

"Honestly, Lou. I don't know. He started talking more last few weeks. Some days he seemed like the old Jimmy and some days he was right back living where he has been the last few years. But he did start talking and I take that as a good sign."

"He sent his guns to me to sell for money."

"I know. He never came out to say it but he loves y'all. He can't argue otherwise."

"He will trade himself for our girls, Kid. This may be the last day I ever have with him."

"How are you holding up?"

"I am. That's all. He just rode in and took them. He just picked up Rosalyn and Maddie. I was helpless. I couldn't do anything. I was worthless."

"We'll get them back. He ain't going alone."

Jimmy woke a few hours later. He laid still for a few before pushing himself up. He was in the old bunkhouse. It was getting on in the afternoon. He heard steps coming outside. The door opened and Lou peeked in. She had food.

"Good, you're up."

Jimmy felt like he couldn't talk. He just watched her uncomfortably.

"Rachel made stew and apple pie. I brought some of each. Hungry?"

Jimmy shook his head. He felt like his heart was falling out his chest. She brought a towel and a plate over to the bed. She sat down on the side. He looked at the food.

"Eat. You're skin and bones." She said.

Rachel stood just outside the door waiting in case Lou needed her. Jimmy picked up the fork and put some food in his mouth. He chewed slowly and forced it down. Lou sat and watched him try to eat.

"Good?" She asked.

"Yeah." He finally pushed out.

"Eat as much as you can."

Jimmy looked at Lou's bruised face. Her eyes still looked red and swollen from crying. He put the fork down.

"That ain't enough." She said.

"I'm sorry." He choked out.

"What?"

"I'm sorry. For all this."

Lou got quiet. She felt her heart start to feel hope.

"No. I'm sorry." She answered.

"This is on me. He took your daughter because of me and what I've done. They should be here and I shouldn't."

"Please, don't say things like that. She is your daughter too. If it wasn't for you, I would have never had her. She's the only thing that has brought me any happiness."

"And now I took her away."

"I have to have faith that we will get them back. I just want you to know that I want to forget everything in the past. I want us to try to start over new. With you and the girls. Can you try to do that?"

"I ain't worthy of you, Louise."

"I don't care what you think. You don't choose who you love. I love you and I will never love another."

"Lou, don't..."

"Shut the hell up. You get our girls and come back to me. If you don't, then you might as well kill me with you. You've put me through enough the last two years. I can't take anymore."

"I left so you could be happy. Without me your life would be so easy. Don't you see, you could marry a decent man. Have a great life. I left so you wouldn't have to look at the man that took everything away from you."

"Took everything away?! You left before I could work out how I felt! You didn't take it all away, you gave me Rosalyn! She became my everything and the closest thing to you that I had! I have been trying to hide my sadness for two years. Because of you!"

"That's right because of me. If I'm gone then you wouldn't have that burden!"

"Don't you understand that I don't want that! I need you! Those girls need their father not some stand in!"

"They need someone to love them and raise them right."

"They already have that in you."

"I'm going to get those girls and get them home."

"Good. Then you and me are gonna work this out."

"You can't change the fact that all this is my fault. My fault. No amount of talking changes that."

"You're right. This is your fault. I don't know why the fuck you are surprised that I love you for all that you are. Now that, is your fault."

Lou walked out and slammed the door leaving Jimmy alone again to eat in silence.