Iruka brushed his hair into a pony tail and looked at himself in the mirror. He decided he looked alright considering he hadn't slept a wink the past two nights. He fixed his robe for the hundredth time and rested his hand on his chest to feel the quickening beat of his heart. He looked calm on the outside, but he his entire body was trembling. He breathed in and let out a shaky breath.
He had to stay calm.
He tucked his loose hair behind his ears and got up slowly. He felt so aware of his movements now. His body felt stiff.
He walked to the door and took a few more deep breaths.
He could do this. He had to do this. If he waited for him, God knows how long he would have to wait. Knowing the man, he would probably overthink himself into never making a move.
Convinced with his reasons, Iruka walked out of door.
He made his way to an familiar area of the palace. The corridors seemed larger than he remembered for some reason. There were no occasional patches of courtyards from where daylight could enter the corridors, and very few torches lit the way. He had been through these passages only once, but he remembered them well. This area of the palace was dark, cold and unfriendly, but Iruka had adored it. He had once dreamed of calling it his home.
After quite a walk he reached the large entrance to the quarters. As expected, there were no guards. He paused and listened. It was silent.
He frowned and wondered if anyone was there at all.
It was possible. The man was hardly ever home.
Home.
Iruka's heart fluttered at the possibility, but shock his head and calmed himself again.
He looked down on the floor and remembered something.
This area of the palace was heavily guarded by jitsus. The master wasn't a big fan of guests after all. Or maids. Or guards. Or people.
He bit his lower lip in worry. He wondered what would happen if he was caught in one of the jitsus. Surely he wouldn't die.
Would he?
Maybe bruise a little. Break something at the most.
Or lose consciousness.
He looked behind him and wondered if he should go back. Perhaps he could come back with the prince. He knew the prince visited these quarters often. But then he wanted to do this alone.
He wanted to see him alone.
Just the two of them.
He had so many questions.
So much to tell him.
He shook his head agin, held his breath and stepped forward. So far so good. He continued to slowly enter the quarters. The corridors inside this wing of the castle were larger than the rest. The corridor turned a corner to lead him to a large wooden door.
This was the training room. The wooden door looked new, and he knew exactly why.
How reckless
He shook his head and turned another corner to a very long corridor. The corridor lead him to another large wooden door. Iruka stopped in front of this door.
He slowly lifted his hand and softly knocked. There was no response. He knocked again. This time a little louder. He was met with silence again.
Deciding it was empty. He pushed the heavy door with both his hands and peered in. A wave of nostalgia washed over him as he took in the sight before him. Nothing had changed.
He walked in and looked around the room.
The usual armchairs faced the grand fireplace. The heavy curtains were left half closed. The drinks cabinet, the book shelf and the large study table were the only areas that were free of dust.
He mentally shook his head.
Will he ever change?
However, a part of him was relieved. He liked it this way. Nothing changed. Still the same.
He walked over to the one of the windows and pulled open the heavy curtains. He coughed and covered his mouth with his sleeve as the dust from the curtains engulfed him. He stood on his toes and pushed open the large window to let the dust out.
The man had such a lovely view of the forest behind the palace. It was such a waste.
He walked away from the window and over to the long line of bookshelves that extended from one end of the wall to another. There were a lot more books now. He spotted a bright green book on the last shelf and almost chuckled. The book was a lever that opened the shelf to reveal a hidden collection of more books. He knew exactly what the collection was. He wondered if the still read those ghastly romance novels.
He was slightly tempted to go over and confirm his suspicions, but he decided he'd rather not know.
Instead he walked over to the fireplace, his favourite thing about the room. It was winter the last time he was in this room, and he remembered a few tender moments he had shared with the man in front of it. Dust had settled over its beautiful details and the pit was empty. His heart broke a little. He had taken so little care of this place.
He traced his finger along the edge of the dusty mantel, revealing the gorgeous marble underneath. His eyes fell on the a glass, half filled with a light brown drink.
He still drinks the same drink.
He had tried it before, and wasn't a very fond of it. He could never understand why the man liked it so much.
Wait.
He froze. His eyes widened in realisation, as he looked at the glass of drink in front of him.
The glass still had drink in it.
Of course.
He felt so stupid.
He had been waiting.
He knew Iruka would come.
Of course he knew.
Knowing exactly what to do next, Iruka took a deep shaky breath and willed his body to slowly turn around. His heart clenched painfully and his hand instinctively went to grab the fabric of his robe that covered his chest.
At the end of the room stood the man that had haunted his dreams all these years. The man whose name he had refused to utter ever since he had broken his heart. He had been determined to never speak of him and had never allowed himself to think of him. He spent each day trying to forget him and it had been the hardest thing he had ever done.
Yet, as this man stood before him, all the hurt didn't seem to matter anymore. All was forgotten, as he looked straight into the visible eye which looked back at him.
He was so taken by the sight of the man, that hadn't noticed him walking towards him until the the man stood before him.
He looked up at the Uchiha, who towered over him, and felt a painful lump form in his throat as he noticed the visible eye watching him with so much emotion.
It suddenly hit him. This man had gone through so much pain too.
All this time he thought he had suffered alone. Watching him looking at him like that, he understood that this man had suffered so much more.
He had missed him so much more.
Not shaking anymore, Iruka slowly reached up, giving the man enough time to back away, and carefully pulled the mask down, revealing a handsome face.
He loved this face.
He loved this man.
He traced his eyes over the face in front of him that had only existed in his memory.
It felt like a dream.
What if this was a dream?
Please. Dear heavens, please let this be real, please.
Iruka's vision fogged as tears rushed to fill his eyes, and the painful lump in his throat escaped through his lips in a soft sob.
The larger man instinctively held Iruka's face in his large hands.
'shhh.' He gently shushed him as another sob escaped Iruka's lips. He wiped the tears that ran down his cheeks with his thumbs and shushed him again.
'Shhh.' He leaned down, their faces inches apart.
'I'm sorry.' The man said softly and Iruka shook his head, his tears rolling down again, uncontrollably this time. 'I was a fool'.
'No-.' Iruka's voice cracked. The lump in his throat made it too painful to talk. He swallowed and tried again. 'Don't -.' Was all he could manage.
Kakashi wiped Iruka's tears again. He stroked his cheeks gently and brought his arms around the slight figure that willingly walked into them.
Iruka buried his face into the strong chest and sobbed uncontrollably, finally letting go of all the hurt and pain. His heart broke at the way the strong arms held him so tight.
He could tell, he had been dearly missed.