Song used in this chapter is: Edge of Desire by John Mayer. :)

...

Ymir's palms were sweaty. She had already lost count on how many times she had wiped her hands on her denim jeans. Ymir cleared her throat and took a deep breath. Before she would have smoked a cigarette while she waited, it gave her something to do and eased her nerves. She quit smoking though. A week into the new year, she had been suffering from withdrawals and had been using caffeine to cope with it. It was nothing severe but her body was definitely feeling the difference now that there was an absence of cigarettes in her life.

She was sitting in her car, waiting at a gas station. Historia was inside, having to use the restroom and purchasing some snacks while she was in the store. The drive was a 5-hour one and they were 3 hours in.

Ymir smiled to herself, her heart fluttering. She finally said it. Those three words. And now they were off on their first date, a quite unusual one to be honest. It was more of a mini-vacation if anything. They would be away from home for a week, sleeping in a cabin in the woods. They would be surrounded by wilderness, for the most part alone.

At first, Ymir had offered Ilse to come with them but in reply, Ymir had earned an amused look.

"I have been waiting for this moment for a while, I refuse to be a third wheel," Ilse shook her head with a chuckle. "Besides, I have to get my shit together."

A knock on the car window made Ymir jerk her head. She looked up to see Historia smiling softly at her, a plastic bag laced between fingers as she gestured to the car lock. Ymir unlocked it and greeted Historia as she climbed in.

"I still can't believe we're doing this," Historia said, pulling a candy bar from the bag. She offered the bag to Ymir, letting her choose a snack from it. "But I don't mean that in a bad way, it's just so-"

"Unique? Unusual?" Ymir chose a small package of peanuts and opened it, popping a few in her mouth. "I know. I think a part of me just wanted a break from everyone and I just had to drag you along."

"I don't mind, Ymir," She flushed. "I don't care that this is our first date, I am just happy to be with you."

Ymir's chest warmed and she looked away as she made her way back onto the road. "Same here," Ymir muttered back, her cheeks heated. She was glad they could be a little more honest with their feelings. With everything out in the open, it was easier just to say what was on their mind.

"Have you ever done this before? Spending time in nature, I mean," Ymir asked as she drove, eyes concentrated on the road.

"No," Historia answered, her voice faltering for a moment. Ymir winced for a second wondering if she reminded Historia about her past. Historia continued before Ymir could tell Historia that she didn't have to reply. "Not ever, it's always been a city or a town. It's not like I don't like nature, it's just I never had a chance to experience it."

"I'm so-"

"Don't be," Historia cut Ymir off before she could apologize. "I am doing things I haven't done before, now and that's what matters."

Ymir gripped the steering wheel and nodded her agreement. Historia could live her own life now and Ymir was here to help her. She wanted to give her everything.

Music hummed on the radio as they drove and they had small chit chat here and there. Ymir couldn't help but sneak glances at Historia when she stared in awe outside the window at the scenery. At one point, she fell asleep and Ymir couldn't help but admire her relaxed features. It was the moment when her chest ached and a new cold terror filled her veins.

She never wanted to lose Historia.

Ymir wanted to do anything in her power to keep her happy and safe. She never wanted to anger or upset her. She just wanted Historia to live her life free from the torment that haunted her from her past. It's one of the reasons why she suggested therapy to the blonde.

When Historia woke up again, they were close to the Camping Site they were going to stop at to get the key for their rental cabin. The area around them was immense with trees. The wooded area glittered elegantly as the sun shimmered through dense branches.

Ymir parked the car, telling Historia to stay inside. The gravel beneath her crunched as she made her way to a wide log cabin. The scent of wood filled her nose as she stepped onto the porch and entered inside. A bell chimed above her as she walked inside and she took a moment to look at her surroundings.

It was cozy and warm. All curtains were put aside to let natural sunlight light up the room. The living room has a tv playing on mute with a bear rug and a worn looking couch. An elder man, his face wrinkled with age, laid down on the couch, dozing off.

Ymir turned to look at a young woman fidgeting behind a counter. Shelves hung on the wall beside her, all securely locked. She perked up when Ymir made eye contact with her and gave a polite wave.

"You must be Ymir Fritz?" She had long blond hair tied into a braid.

"Yes, I am here for my cabin key."

"Ah, yes, just give me a second," She turned around and started to search through drawers.

As she fetched Ymir's key, Ymir asked for her name. "My name is Rosalie," She then threw a hand to gesture towards the man on the couch. "Dot Pyxis is the man who owns all this land."

"Oh?"

"Here you go," Rosalie handed a pair of keys to Ymir and continued, "There's a spare just in case. I must also say to be careful with the wildlife around here. They won't be a threat as long as you don't bother them." She handed Ymir a pamphlet. "This should show you where your cabin is. It also contains information about what's around this area. I hope you enjoy your stay."

Ymir nodded and wished her goodbye. When Ymir walked back outside, she saw Historia standing, with the passenger door open.

"What are you doing?" Ymir asked as she approached her.

"Waiting," She simply replied. Historia then laughed at Ymir's unchanged expression and said, "I am just stretching my legs. We were in the car for quite some time."

Ymir sighed knowing that she had a point. "Come on, we are almost there."

…

After they finished unpacking and settling in, Ymir and Historia took a short walk around the area. Not far away, there was another cabin, unoccupied. The nature around them comforted Ymir, easing the tension in her shoulders. Though they didn't see any wildlife, they could hear it around them.

Coming back to their cabin, the sun's dying light fading, and giving to darkness, Ymir started to set up a campfire. A portable radio sat on the cabin's porch humming music to them as they watched their food cook over the tamed flames.

She wondered briefly how Ilse was doing. Like Ilse had implied before they left, she was probably making amends with Onyan and continuing on her work.

Ymir had already made plans in her head. She knew after this vacation, she would finally take action. At this point, she hadn't heard from Marcel since Christmas morning and hadn't been to Willy's either. The wealthy man had flooded her phone with messages and unanswered phone calls until Ymir finally sent him one text, I'm busy with personal issues right now. Which technically wasn't a lie. There's still a lot she had to get done with her life. Ymir had to get her daughter back. Probably move out of the apartment she's been living in for years. Get a different job because this drug dealing was going to screw her over in the long run. Speaking of which, Ymir was still getting money despite not doing anything for the past few weeks now. Her fingers curled in a fist for a moment and she took a deep breath. She definitely had to stop. Marcel was just going to bring her more trouble. She knew it deep down. That's how it was like when they were kids. It was the reason why all of them almost got screwed over for their whole life when that certain incident happened, involving Zeke.

Tearing her thoughts away from that dark moment, Ymir glanced at Historia. The fire framed her features as she hummed to herself, gazing into the fire. Ymir's heart ached at the sight and her eyebrows knitted together. The same feeling filled her chest and she knew she really would do anything for her. Ymir never wanted to lose Historia. She loved her. And it's been the first time she had been so smitten with someone, ever. Her previous relationships were either for the sex or quick crushes that eventually faded. She never even felt this way for Ilse.

"What's wrong?"

Ymir jolted, startled. She shook her head, inhaling the scent of burning wood and cooking food. "I...uh, nothing."

Historia looked at her, her eyes narrowing in well-deserved suspicion. She didn't press though and tilted her head towards the sky. "It's nice here."

"Yeah," Ymir breathed, her eyes moving to look at the night. The town wasn't as polluted as a city would be, making it easier to see stars but out here, the canvas was clear from smudges and everything popped out so clearly. There was so much more in the sky out in the woods than somewhere urban.

"Can I kiss you?"

Those words almost made Ymir toppled over. Her fingernails dug into the log they sat on, tearing at the bark. She turned to Historia, her throat tightening.

Historia looked a little embarrassed herself but she continued. "We're on a date now."

"Let me take you on a date first."

Ymir heard the words echo in her mind and the corner of her lips twitched into a nervous smile. A part of her simply didn't want to kiss Historia because Ilse had been nearby but also because she was terrified. One kiss would really elevate their relationship and Ymir was worried that one of these days she would fuck it up.

She nodded, slowly. Ymir moved a hand to cup Historia's cheek and she leaned in, her eyes closed.

Her lips meet Historia's and her lips are really soft as she imagined. The kiss is brief and when she started to pull away, one of Historia's hands moved to intertwine her fingers with hers.

"You're trembling," Historia whispered, opening her eyes. There's a gentle look in her orbs as she stares at Ymir.

"You are too," Ymir countered, her voice shaking. Historia's grip tightened.

Historia smiled. "It's cold."

She was right. Winter still hung around them, even though it was warmer here compared to the town they lived in, it was still chilly.

"So am I."

That was far from the truth.

A song started playing on the radio that made Historia turn for a moment. She glanced at the radio then back at Ymir. Getting up, she leads Ymir away from the logs, so they could have more room.

"Dance with me," Her voice was hoarse and Ymir could feel her fingers shaking against her own trembling fingers.

And so she does.

She followed Historia's lead as they danced slowly in the night.

"Young and full of running.

Tell me where's that taking me?

Just a great figure eight or a tiny infinity."

Ymir's left hand rested on one side of her hip. Historia's arms were securely looped around Ymir, her right hand still locked with Ymir's. Ymir could feel her pulse thundering and she wondered if Historia could feel it too. Their eyes didn't leave each other as they danced.

"Love is really nothing

But a dream that keeps waking me

For all of my trying

We still end up dying

How can it be?"

So much has happened since they met and it's a little bewildering to think that they both stood there, touching each other. Ymir's felt even tighter than before and she worried that she would lose her breath. She felt so incredibly vulnerable. So fragile as they floated along.

"Don't say a word, just come over and lie here with me

'Cause I'm just about to set fire to everything I see

I want you so bad I'll go back on the things I believe

There I just said it, I'm scared you'll forget about me."

Her limbs felt light. Her head was spinning. Their shadows followed behind them, dancing as gracefully as ever. Someone taught Historia to dance like this. And Ymir couldn't help but think it was the same man who abused her for so long. The person she didn't know the name of but hated so dearly. The person she never met but she would take their life in a heartbeat.

Historia felt so small in her grasp. She deserved the world no harm. And yet, she endured hell and made it through and Ymir admired her for that. This was a woman who fought. A woman who she found one day and fell so madly in love with.

That thought hurt even more.

She was in love with her so much.

Ymir was worried that it was too soon.

That they hadn't spent enough time together to justify her emotions.

It overwhelmed her.

Her skin prickled.

And as the music swelled then died.

Ymir leaned in and kissed her again.

She held Historia's face with her quivering hands.

And Ymir feels herself melt.

A warm electrical buzz rushed through her veins. Her lips moved slowly against Historia's.

She could feel Historia's fingertips gliding up her neck and then she cradled Ymir's face.

"Ymir," Her voice is so quiet.

And it's when Ymir realized she was crying.

Heavy tears poured from Ymir's eyes and down her cheeks.

Ymir crumbled.

She comes undone in Historia's arms.

"I love you," Ymir gasped brokenly as they laid on the ground, sobbing. Ymir curled into herself as her head rested on Historia's chest. Historia's fingers ran comfortingly through her hair.

Historia's smile was watery. "I love you too."