Author's Note: Things are going to start winding down from here on out, and I'll be hitting the Epilogue very soon! Thanks for sticking with me this far! Your support means to the world!

Stanley's POV

"Stanley? Stanley…..Stan?"

I blinked awake in a freight, almost shaking as I took in a massive inhale. It was bright in the waiting room, my hands were shaking badly on my knees as I was looking dead ahead and over slowly over to see Beverly giving me an uneasy look. I sighed, pressing the heels of my hands into my eyes as I finally leaned back.

"Sorry, Bev," I apologized.

"It's okay, Stan," She reassured me, pressing her fingers gently into my shoulders and rubbing back and forth, "Ben just called, he's getting food with Richie. He wants to know if you wanted something to eat from the pizzeria," I had to make a face as I moved my eyes back down and looked at her. She was giving me a knowing smile, her other hand was holding her phone. I could tell Ben was still on the other line to hear my answer.

"A salad," I answered, though he eyebrow went up.

"Really? A salad at a pizzeria?" She asked, almost unconvinced.

"It's healthier," I reminded her as she scoffed and shook her head.

"It's not gonna fill your stomach," She countered back at as he placed her phone back to her ear as her other hand was still scratching and rubbing my back, "We're gonna need one large cheese pizza, please. Make it two since Richie needs his own practically….yeah…and some waters too…. thank you, Ben. See you soon," She hung up and rang her fingers through her red hair, sighing mostly to herself as I was looking around and where were.

I hated Hospitals.

"How long was I out for?" I asked her in a small tone.

"About two hours, the longest you've lasted since we got in here," Beverly replied as she leaned back in her spot too, etching some of the doctors buzzing in and out of the waiting room we were in. It wasn't too horrendously busy, but it was taking way too long to not hear anything. I was making a mental note to never end up in the hospital like this again since I've now been here twice within a week. The florescent lights, the too sterile smell of the bleached floors and tools, and the consent rotation of nurses coming through the double doors in such a rush it made my head hurt.

Just thinking about the last few hours and how we were able to go through all we did was enough to get every single one of us admitted to a mental psych ward. I was beyond surprised that we were all still acting sane, but ever time I tried to close my eyes I was sinking back to what we went through in the cave right under Niebolt. I could remember the clown, seeing its piercing yellow eyes looking right at me with death. I also remembered the blood, plenty of blood. I've never seen that much blood in my life and it almost made me sick.

All we could do right now was breathe and go through the aftershock.

"They took care of Mike's arm, right?" I asked as I grunted and rotated my neck to hear it pop from being in one spot for too long.

"Both Mike and Eddie only got a few stitches," Beverly reminded me, having me now with worry in her eyes, "Stanley, you should head to the Inn and at least get some rest,"

"I'm good here," I answered.

"A shower will do you some good," She added as if she didn't hear me tell her no, "Bill's on his way back from the Inn and bringing some stuff so you can have a turn going back and have some solo time," I gave her a wary look, seeing how calm she was as she was looking over at me with her kind look.

"Beverly—" I started, but she shook her head

"You can't do anything right now," She reminded me, sounding a bit more stern as we were side by side on one of the loveseats, "The last thing you can be right now here is stubborn and get yourself twisted up with nothing to do. Trust me, you need to take a break from this,"

"I can't," I admitted to her, almost feeling the bottom fo my stomach dropping out from the thought of stepping away for a brief moment. Just closing my eyes for a brief moment was hard enough and made me remember it all over again. All I wanted to do was forget, but then again I didn't want to leave either.

"Stanley," Beverly said my voice so carefully and gently it almost broke my heart how she said it. I could see a sad smile on her face as she moved her hand from my shoulders and rested it on my face. She was always calming in how she moved or how she spoke, to all of us. I was intimidated by her when we were children, I knew the rest of the group was too. But to me, she was someone who seemed on another level from me in how she spoke and how she would act.

"Nothing's going to happen if you leave," She explained, "If something does happen, we will call you," It made me feel so conflicted in how we were discussing this, just the two of us. I never thought I would end up being alone with Beverly Marsh, and to now have our own moment together in a hospital as a grown adult, after defeating an alien demonic clown, it was safe to say that this was a day of firsts.

"S-S-S-Stanley?"

We both looked up and saw Bill standing in front fo both Beverly and myself, holding two coffees in his hand. He looked solemn, seeing how I was hunched over and looking beyond stressed out.

"Heya, Big Bill," I muttered to him as I hung my head again. I heard Bill awkwardly clear his throat as he was shifting his gaze to Beverly.

"Can I t-t-talk to h-h-h-him alone, Bev?" he asked, sounding a bit low and hopeful.

"Sure," Beverly replied smoothly as she looked over at me, "You gonna be okay, honey?"

"Yeah," I answered, seeing her give me a small smile before leaning over to kiss me on the cheek. I felt a small blush come through, though I shrugged it off as she got up, "I'm gonna check on Mike and Eddie and see how they're doing," I watched her walk away as Bill took her spot, sitting carefully and calmly. I sat up completely, seeing Bill handed me one of the coffees.

"I didn't know how you took it," he admitted as I gave a dry chuckle.

"Black," I replied in a snort, seeing him almost smirk as I eyed him from his he was reacting, "What?"

"How was It I thought you wouldn't want anything in it?" He asked but with a smile on his face. It took me a moment to smile, but when I did it felt a bit better. We were quiet together, both of us just holding our coffees and I took a long drink from my own. Although it was stale and a bit watery, it was none the less making me feel a bit better.

"I'm g-g-glad you're here," Bill said between the both of us. I gave me a questioning look.

"You serious?" I asked, not convinced and sounding like my old self with my dry tone and lack fo sense of humor.

"Of course I am," He answered with no stutter. It still didn't make sense in my now head. Bill almost seemed hurt that I wouldn't believe him, and just seeing the hurt on his face made me feel a bit and too, "Stan, I was….I was fucking petrified thinking that something bad happened to you. Back at the restaurant, I thought of the worst."

"I couldn't come back here, Bill," I reminded him, seeing that we were sitting very close together and he was looking at me dead on with determination in his eyes, "Not after all that happened to us when we were kids. As soon as Mike called me…I remembered everything that happened that summer and I couldn't….I just…. It was all…" I cringed, slammed my eyes shut, and taking in a shallow breath. it felt like I was working myself up and making all of this worse as it was.

"Hey," Bill said in his solemn tone, doing real bad as he placed his spare hand on my arm to get my attention, "The fact that you're here is brave, really brave,"

"That's what Robin said," I said as I was wiping away my tears that were slipping out with my fingers, almost blubbering, "Fuck!" I took an inhale, already thinking about her and how it was both breaking my heart from just seeing her in my mind covered in blood and still looking just as warm as she ever did as we were kids. Bill squeezed my arm, and even though he wasn't saying anything, I knew he was trying to be there next to me. I appreciated Bill for that, even when I was running on empty.

"She saved me from almost killing myself," I muttered, leaning up a bit and resting my arms on my knees and blinking away the excess tears, "Right after Mike called me…I called her and told her I was afraid. Robin didn't even hesitate, she came right after I told her and she even kicked my fucking door down like a ninja on acid," I paused, inhaling a deep breath before I thought about what I just said.

"Well she was always freakishly strong in her legs," Bill commented, almost trying to make it a light situation. I shot a look over at him, seeing him give me a knowing look. At first, I wanted to scowl at him, but in an unusual moment, I cracked a sad and pathetic smile. Talking about how I felt like a weakling not wanting to fulfill my promise and my attempted suicide, and now I was cracking a smile and Bill said a joke.

How fucked up this was for both of us?

"Well, I'm glad you didn't kill yourself," Bill commented, having me a knowing look as we were just somewhat smirking from his joke, "It would have killed all of us if that happened to you,"

"I know, Big Bill," I reassured him, "I wasn't….I felt as though I had no other choice. I need to figure that out," With all that happened to me within the past few days, I had a lot of things to sort out. It wasn't just with how all of this unfolded, but how I was align with it from the moment Mike called me on the phone that very night. Just talking to Bill about this felt a bit better, almost like there was an ease.

"I was always intimated by her, you know?" It sounded more like a statement than a question, the mood seemed lighter and more laid back than how serious it was moments before, "Even when we were kids, she always intimated me. But it wasn't like Beverly, Robin was different,"

"How?" Bill asked, having me seeing him give me questioning looks with a raised eyebrow as I thought about and slightly shrugged.

"I don't know…. I guess it was how she carried herself. Beverly was always bold in how she walked and talked, but Robin was more…gentle with how she was with us. She never seemed to have things de-rail her in how she felt about herself, not boasting about it anything. I think the only time I ever saw her seem fragile was when my dad spoke bad about it," I paused, remembering that moment in the park when Robin and I were looking at the birds in the trees. Just hearing what my father said about her made me feel so terrible on the inside, and how at that moment I was feeling beyond conflicted.

"My dad was a fucking dick," I stated, taking a long drink of my coffee that somewhat stung going down my throat.

"I don't think that's real news, Stanley," Bill commented, having me nod in agreement. I had to smirk from how relaxed we were talking about my dad. I then had a solemn feeling coming over me, and to think I was thinking about this in a hospital, re-thinking all we went through and how this past 24 hours in our hometown was literal hell.

"I was in love with her," I admitted, looking straight ahead and thinking of all of those moments that we had when we were kids. They were flickered moments, sitting together with our friends, holding hands the were covered in the soil after we planted the Birch tree in her front yard, talking to each other about Bill in the middle of that cold December night on the living room floor under our blankets.

Those small moments, though they would seem small to others, meant the world to me. She listened to me, deeply listened, and she understood me on another level than the others couldn't. That meant the world to me, even with my other 6 friends that cared for me so deeply. Robin had a deeper sense of care within her, and maybe I craved it from time to time.

"You were?" Bill asked, sounding a bit surprised. It sounded like he was surprised, but there was something else in how he asked. He gave me a puzzled looked, and I looked back at him like I was caught in what I just told him. I did love her a child, but the way he asked, maybe was it that I only loved her then, and not now?

"Excuse me?"

We both looked up to see the doctor standing in front of us with folded hands in front of him. Both Bill and I shot up from our spots on the loveseat couch, I almost fell over because of how fast I was going up from sitting.

"Sorry to interrupt, but I have some news,"

2 Hours Later

Robin's POV

I was feeling so warm when I opened my eyes, but I wasn't in a familiar place.

For one, I knew I was in a hospital.

But it wasn't like any other room in the hospital. I was alone, blinking a few times rapidly and feeling the air going in and out of my lungs. It smelted like a hospital, I knew that for certain, but there weren't any other patients in the room. I was mostly looking at the ceiling and yet I knew there weren't other beds in the room. The room was big, almost like a private suite hospital room that would be expensive.

There was something numb and dull pain that was on my left side near my hip and along my thigh, having me become very much afraid to move in case something was going to happen again and I was going to be in pain again. Pain…I remember being in pain so bad somewhere dark.

The sewers….we were in the sewers again.

Something shifted on my left, having me move my head over to the left slightly to see there was a loveseat tucked in the corner of the room, with one body curled up on the couch fast asleep. They were in a deep sleep, a fresh look on their face and nothing worrying them in their dreams. Just seeing that face there was enough to have me grin, though I could feel the scrapes and scabs along my lip and chin moving and it pained me to smile. But I didn't care, I was looking at my friend sleeping though he was facing me.

Ben Hanscom.

We must have survived that whole thing after all since so far there were two of us and we both survived. I remember flashes of being in the darkness of the sewers and seeing the clown morphing into some kind of monstrous creature, sharp claws and razor teeth about to kill us. It almost killed Eddie…and It stabbed me.

Oh shit…I was stabbed.

I looked back at the ceiling again, blinking away a few tears that were morphing since I was reminiscing all fo the emotions that happened down there in the sewers. Being with the others and all of us facing the clown together. So many moments down there in the sewers made me think that I was going to die, and I knew the others were going to think the same thing too. Speaking of which…I had the huge worry that something happened to them since I was here in the hospital. Were they all okay?

Were they all alive?

"Holy shit," I looked over to see Ben scrambling out of the loveseat, fully awake and looking a bit delusional at the same time, looking at me dead in the eye with his wide bloodshot eyes. He was frozen, not moving as I grinned at him, once again hurting my mouth in the process.

"Heya Haystack," I said in a groan. Within seconds, Ben rushed over to me, almost tripping over his own feet as he was right at my bedside his eyes big and moist with tears about to come out and down his cheeks. He was still not knowing what to do, the sense of shock was on his face. It made me then have the sinking again in my stomach as I was thinking of all we went through, making me slowly reach my fingers up to where my eyes were and feel the tears coming down before I could realize.

Once again, I was crying about how it was all done and over with. It was all too much, my tears hitting my hospital gown and the blankets covering me. Why was I crying now? Why did it take this moment now to openly cry?

"Hey, hey don't cry," I hear Ben said in earnest, concern, and with a rush as he was seeing me cry in front of him in a hospital bed. He leaned down to wipe the tears away carefully with his thumb as he was watching me with protectiveness and carefulness, "You're okay now. You're safe."

"I thought I died," I said to him in a broken whisper as he knelt to be at my level, seeing me shake my head to trying to wrap it around what happened, "I should be dead…I was stabbed…"

"Robin," I felt a hand under my chin to carefully move my head to look at Ben. He was crying now, though it was a tear or two compared to my waterworks. He was looking so sincere and true as he placed his hadn't against my jaw and cheek, "We weren't going to leave you down there to die. Never."

"But I was stabbed and I fell," I reasoned, trying to picture it all out in my head with what happened, "You guys took me to safety and then went after the clown. I don't remember anything else other than that."

"We carried you out," Ben explained, though I looked at him in unbelief, "The whole place was caving in after we killed It and we couldn't leave you there—"

"It's dead," I said, not as a question, but as a statement. It was coming over me, wave after wave of all of the pain and sadness that I felt from this mystical demon of a clown, all excuse he knew I was afraid and it tried to kill me because of it. It tried the same thing on the rest of my friends, and there was a moment where I thought we couldn't have been able to finish It. But Ben, seeing the realization on my face, he gave me a small smile to show that he was relieved that it was all done.

"It's gone, Robin. We did It."

I closed my eyes, breathing out a shaky sigh of relief as I felt Ben shift and grasp my hand in both of his. I felt as though I wanted to scream in pain from all that It did to us, in shock that we no longer had to suffer even as adults, but I was just crying. I had to let it all out in one way or another, then feeling Ben press his forehead against my own in some way to comfort me.

In all of this, I thought that I was dead. I didn't believe in Heaven or God, but there had to be something beyond this. Yet this was real, this was my reality, recovering from almost being lost.

The door opened, both of us moving away from each other's moment of relief and embrace to see who it was at the time, or in this case, whom. I smiled so widely, still covered in my tears and scabs from the sewers, but it didn't matter to me since it was some of the Losers Club frozen at the door. They were looking right at me, relief oral of their faces.

It was the faces of Eddie, Bill and Beverly were at the door.

"Robin," Eddie gasped out in relief, having me sigh out in relief from seeing him there. Ben got up and released my hand as Eddie rushed over and pulled me into a hug from my spot in the bed. I hugged him back, looking over his shoulder at Ben and embracing each other. I rested my head against Eddie's hair as he was hugging me close and not wanting to let me go.

"Thank fuck!" Eddie said in relief into my neck as we were embracing each other. Bill was grinning so widely at me, having me grin at him before Eddie squeezed me a bit too hard. I groaned, everyone looked at me in worry as Eddie shot away from me briefly and no longer hugged me. He was still close, looking concerned as he was gazing to see where he hit me.

"A bit too much Eddie," I said to him as he looked like he broke my bone. I reached out and took his shaky hand on my own to get him to look back at me.

"I'm gonna text Stanley, Mike, and Richie," Bill said to Beverly as I was still focusing on Eddie. I could see the emotion on his face, having me gaze at him in confusion as he took in a sharp inhale.

"You saved my life down there, Robin," he said to me in a soft tone, having me squeeze his hand in my own as he went on, "I should be…I should be dead."

Beverly was quietly crying with her head on Ben's shoulder as the others heard this. I said nothing at first as I knew Eddie was experiencing. I shook my head at him, wanting to look sincere when I spoke to him.

"I'm glad I did it," I reminded him, seeing him look at our hands that were connected then, not wanting to look at me in the eyes, "Although it was a fucked up thing on my part to do it, I'm glad. If I had to, I would do it again in a heartbeat. It's what Bill said, we stick together,"

"But this," Beverly said to me as she pulled away from Ben and walked over to stand near Eddie, pointing to be in the bed with a fierce look of a stern mother on her face, "This was a bit too much. No more stunts like this ever again, okay?" With a nod, I could tell she was trying to hold it together for the rest of us, though I could see past the fake smile she was giving me. All of them looked shaken up after what happened, and yet I was the one in the hospital room and was with a busted hip. Speaking of which…

"What did the doctors say?" I asked, looking down at my side that was still covered in the blankets. Beverly looked over at Bill, in hopes that he would be able to say something that would be better. Ben and Eddie stayed quiet, Eddie still holding my hand as Bill walked over slowly and stand on my other side and he shoved his hands in his pockets.

"We had to think of something to t-t-tell them when we brought you h-h-here," Bill explained, looking a bit grave about it as I gave him a look.

"What did you tell them?" I asked him, then looking at the others too to see if they were going to say something. But none of them moved, maybe they were too spooked to tell me. So I released Eddie's hand, reaching for the covers and I was about to move it out of the way when Bill spoke up.

"Robin," he said, having me pause and look at him, "It's…..it's a bit m-m-much." I didn't know what he meant, but instead of being left in the dark about this, I had to know what it looked like. I took a deep inhale through my nose, looking back at my fingers clutching the blankets and I moved them out of the way.

I froze, seeing the aftermath.

There was a thick gauze along my hip and down to my mid-thigh, tapped precisely along my skin that was already battered and bruised. I could see the bruising along the outside of the wrapping, and even a few signs of blood there on the glue that showed that the stitches were adjusting.

Eddie had to look away, which I couldn't have blamed it for that as the others were trying not to look too concerned about it as I was feeling a bit queasy from the sight. I inhaled deeply once more, though a moment of wanting to throw up come through my mind at the sight of the bruises and knowing there were stitches.

"We told the doctors and the police that we were in the Neibolt house when it collapsed," Beverly explained as she switched places with Eddie and stood right next to me, "You got caught under one of the beams and it pierced you."

"I can't feel it," I said in a mutter, thinking of the worst as Beverly shook her head and placed the blanket back over the wound and my legs.

"Honey, it's the medicine. We made sure you got the best," Beverly reassured me with a pat of her hand on top of my own.

"Eddie fought tooth and nail for them to get your the best stuff," Ben said to me with a chuckle, Eddie saying nothing but sheepishly smiling. I grinned as Bill's phone went off, all of us looking at him. He reached for it from his back pocket and read the message.

"The other's are pulling up," He explained, looking over at me with a smile. I was a twinge of excitement from seeing the others, mostly Stanley. There was no much I wanted to say to him, and just to see him well enough to be with us at this moment would make all of this easier and happier for me. "The nurses won't let all of us b-b-b-be in here all at once," I grimaced a bit from the news, Eddie then nudging me with his arm gently.

"I tried, trust me," Eddie added with a roll of his eyes.

"It's because we looked like shit when we all came in here with you," Beverly reminded me, having me feel a bit proud of my best friends none the less. Even as grown-ups, we were still acting like our younger selves.

"When they get here, We'll g-g-g-give you some time with them and then we c-c-c-can go from there," Bill explained as he then leaned over and kissed me quickly on the forehead. He pulled away and walked over to the door, placing his hand on the handle and I spoke up.

"Bill?" I said, seeing him look back at me as I tried to sit up a bit in my bed. But I kept my eyes on Bill as I wanted to tell him what was heavy on my heart at that moment.

"You were brave down there," I reminded him, seeing him not move but I could see how he was letting those words wash over him slowly and sink under his skin. I remember when we were kids in the sewers and how Bill saw Georgie, the clown pretending to be Georgie actually. But I saw how Bill grew, even though the pain of knowing his brother was forever gone was still haunting him as an adult. Yet, seeing him overcome all of that in the cave made me proud of him and know for certain that Bill was free.

Bill could be free.

"Thanks, Robin," He replied, not one sign of a stutter in his voice as he thanked me. I ginned, having a bashful smile on my face as he left the room. Beverly leaned over and gave me a reassuring hug.

"We'll give you some space, but we'll come back soon enough," She reassured me. Ben then hugged me right after he snuck a kiss in my hair just like Bill did.

"I'll bring some real food in here for you too," He said to me as I watched Ben and Beverly walk over to the door.

"Is that a good idea to bring outside food in the hospital?" I asked since I didn't know the protocol.

"No, he's right. The food here is pure plastic," Eddie said in an amused tone as he gave me his hug, "No nutrients in any of it. I checked twice."

"You would," Ben joked. Eddie flipped him off without a second thought.

"Bite me, Haystack," Eddie retorted. Ben rolled his own eyes as the three of them were walking over to the door just like Bill. Beverly and Ben walked out, but Eddie paused, almost thinking to himself for a brief moment before he looked back at me with a wide smile on his face.

"I'll send Stanley in first if you want," He said to me with a shrug, though I gave him a questioned look. He just smiled, almost like he knew a secret that I should know but I didn't. It felt like I was under some kind of microscope then, with Eddie of all people who would at times be paranoid about the smaller invisible germs of the earth. He knew something that seemed like it was invisible to the naked eye, but he could see it.

Eddie was brilliant in that nature.

"Let's be honest, Robin. You two..." he paused, almost seeming me blush from the thought as he gave me the kindest look from over at the door, "Are great together."

I still said nothing, since for one I didn't know how to react at that moment, and secondly, I was more in shock than anything. It seemed like he knew something that I didn't. What if the others knew something too? Eddie walked out before I could say anything, having me bit my lower lip before I squinted from feeling a hint of pain from the action. I looked over to the nightstand next to me, seeing my almost busted up cell phone there on the surface. I grabbed it carefully, trying not to move the IV in my hand as I got the screen to come alive. I could see I had several missed calls and messages, a few from my dad and the others from my coach. Someone must have told them I got hurt and they tried to contact me, the pit in my stomach was getting a bit more bitter as I inhaled, clicking on the camera and the camera letup right on my face.

It put it plainly, I looked banged up.

There were plenty of scrapes and a few bruises that were blossoming along my skin, showing at least three shades of bruises. My skin was looking pale as if I haven't been in the sun in years. A small cold sweat was coming along my forehead, my hair was a bit of a mess but it was pushed back in a re-made french braid. Beverly must have done the when I was asleep, bless her.

"I've seen better days," I muttered to myself, looking a bit down on myself for judging the look no my face. This was the last thing I wanted to do since I survived that seemed to be a dramatic event. hell, I did it twice in my life, which was one too many times for someone to endure in their life. All 8 of us were beyond lucky to be alive, which made me think of how we are going to move past there.

Was it going to be like before? Were we going to forget like we did when we were kids?

"I can't forget," I said, once again to myself as I felt a chill down through me, "Not again."

"After all of that shit that happened down there, what makes you think we're gonna forget this?"

That voice was enough to make me almost shake in the bed I was in, but I was shocked to hear it. I moved my phone down to see Stanley standing at the door, holding the door handle within his hand in a death grip and his eyes were right on me. He looked like he took a shower, though he harbored some scrapes along his forearms and face too. But there he was, right in my room and it was just the two of us.

There was a shift in the room.

Something happened between the both of us when we came out of the sewers, almost like a piece within me that I thought I lost in the past was now whole once more all because of him. I was shocked when he came with us to end Pennywise, being present in the bravery that came through him when I saw him step up with us and for us. It was a shift that none of us saw coming in Stanley, and for all the moments he thought he wasn't going to be brave enough to handle Pennywise.

There was a moment of silence there in the room.

I wanted to say so many things to him, everything was going through my head and how I wanted to tell him how I felt. But then again, what was I going to say to him? It almost felt like I was being exposed and vulnerable to him. What was he thinking in his brain seeing me in the hospital? Was he freaking out? I remember seeing his face before I passed out cold, seeing how scared me was the I was dying.

"You're okay," I said simply, looking at him up and down. Even after a shower he still looked a bit fatigued from what we did mere hours before, but he then cocked his head at me like he was shocked by what I said to him.

"You're worried about me?" He asked, finally moving away from the door and letting it slide shut to give us some privacy, "I think I should be the last person that should be worried if they're okay." It didn't seem like he was trying to scold me for saying something like that, but then again it felt like that. He then sighed and walked over to the side of my bed, having me give a quick look over at Stanley as he was approaching me, seeing one white and neatly wrapped gauze around his wrist. There was no grim, or blood was evident along the wrap.

As soon as he was in arms reach, I reached out and touched the wrap again his skin. Stanley froze as I inspected his wrap since it felt like I've seen this since the beginning. Though it hasn't been that long ago when I was the one who was walking up to him in the hospital bed and he was telling me not to come back to Derry. Now the roles were reversed.

"Pennywise is dead," Stanley said softly and carefully, having me release his wrist from my hand. Just hearing him say it out loud was shocking for me since he sounded very nonchalant and yet stern about it. My hand went back not my lap, nodded my head at him.

"I saw his black heart float up in the sky…just like those kids," I commented, sounding very soft and picturing it all in my head. The kids we saw when we first encountered Pennywise in the sewers after saving Beverly. It seemed as if it happened yesterday when we were young and we fought It all together as one. Stanley looked like there was something stuck on his mind, having me give him a look of concern as he was shifting awkwardly.

"There's something that I need to tell you, and if I don't say it now I won't forgive myself," He said suddenly, having me lean back a bit in my bed as I eyed him.

"Okay," I stated, not knowing what else I could say there. He looked stiff, having me worry that whatever he was going to tell me was going to be serious. Staley then looked behind himself, seeing a spare chair that was unoccupied and he grabbed it to bring over next to my bed, having me watching his every move. It was just like how I did that same with him in the hospital, showing me that this was all coming back full circle.

"You told me that I was strong, back there at Niebolt," Stanley explained to me as he was looking at his hands that were resting in his lap, "And all this time, no matter how many times you would tell me I was strong, I wouldn't believe it. I've always been that way, and it's my fault I'm like that,"

"Stanley, please—" I was cutting him in but he shook his head.

"No, I need to say this," He reminded me, having me nod my head and stay quiet.

"The only times I ever felt strong enough to sand on my own two feet they involved you," He paused, and I gave him a concerned look, "The first time was back at my Bar Mitzvah when I made that speech and you and Richie came running after me. I was embarrassed and shocked by what I said, but I knew I made the right choice because of how you told me it was okay." Again, he stopped talking and took in one even low breath.

"The second time?" I asked sheepishly. When he looked at me straight in the eye, there was an immediate shift in how he was staring at me so lovingly and with boldness.

"The second time was when I crushed Pennywise's heart within my hands with the others," He answered, "Because all I could think about was you….how much you were part of my life when were kids and how I wasn't afraid anymore. All because of what I knew was true,"

"And what was that?" I had to ask since he wasn't saying anything just yet. I didn't want to wait anymore to hear Stanley since the anticipation was killing me from the inside, almost on the border of making me feel frustrated and agitated.

"That I love you,"

I said nothing, but my eyes were massive and my head was no feeling light, no longer heavy. He was watching me intently as he gulped. I was floored, now knowing what I should say or do at that moment since I never saw it coming. My old childhood friend just admitted to me that he loved me. How in the hell was I going to respond to something like this in my state of mind?

"Well, to be specific, I'm in love with you, I have been actually," He corrected himself since he sounded so casual about it. I inhaled sharply, slowing nodding my head once.

"Oh," I replied, almost sounding unsure about it but then again it was still a surprise, "Not to sound rude or anything, Stanley, but when did you…"

"Since we were kids," he replied with a shrug of his shoulders, sounding almost aloof but then again he seemed more casual about it, "All those memories I tried to push away because of Pennywise also involved the memories of you. I realize now that there was always something in me that was drawn to you, in a good way I guess. But when you came and stopped me from killing myself, I remembered all of our memories together… and it made something inside me snap and fight back what I was trying to do in the first place."

"Fuck, Stan," I breathed out, so shocked by how he was pouring everything out there in the hospital room. I reached up to wipe the tear away from my eye, but Stanley was a bit faster than me. He reached up to get the tear with his thumb, having me feel how gentle and secure he was with his thumb touching my cheek and smoothing it in such an intimate manner. But instead of moving his hand away, he rested it against my jawline.

"No one ever in my life saw me the way you did," He explained, his voice was softer than it was mere moments before as he thumb stroked my jawline with a small smile on his face and his eyes looking so warm and soothing, "Not even my own parents. I think it's what I loved the most about you, and I guess I figured….even as kids….you and I had our own relationship that no one could understand. It took me long enough to figure out that it was a love I had for you,"

I had to smile widely at him from how he was pouring out his heart for me. It made me remember back int he caves, some hours before, and the clown was telling me over and over that the others only loved me out of pity. I didn't know why I was thinking of that sour moment when this good moment was unfolding between Stanley and me.

"Pennywise tried to tell me that none fo you ever loved me, truly loved me," I admitted to Stanley, seeing him scan my eyes as I said this in such a harsh whisper and yet I felt like I could float, "For a brief moment, I could have sworn I believed It. But you know…not anymore…not when I knew I loved you too," Just knowing that I had someone who truly loved me for who I was, not seeing me as some kind of deformity or someone to pity, was beyond reality and beyond those small moments of grief in the cave. And when I thought I was going to die there within the earth, surrounded by my friends, I was fine with it since I knew what it was like to love someone whole.

Stanley leaned over and kissed me square on the lips.

It was sweet, his lips against my own almost pressed so delicately and yet bold at the same time. I felt my eyes fall shut with ease as I was suddenly warm all over and feeling as though I could grow my own wings to fly. Flickers of those moments that I had with Stanley that were good and soothing, that shaped my heart and mind, came through at such a rapid pace as he pressed another kiss on my lips. My hand was finding its way to his shirt to wrap my fingers almost protectively. It was surreal, that it took us almost 30 years, to tell each other we've loved each other since we were children.

Stanley pulled away from me briefly, his lips mere inches for my own as my eyes opened softly to stare at him. Seeing the color in the iris of his eyes, the small lines of wrinkles along his eyes and cheeks, and the warm color in his curly hair that was about to come in his line of sight, it all made me lose my breath with him.

"I should have kissed you a long time ago," He said to me in the softest tone I've ever heard from him. I nodded in agreement.

"I feel the same way," I replied in a breath of a chuckle. He grinned too, briefly looking down at my lips once more before he stared at me. He could ask me to fly to the moon for him, and I would. There wasn't anyone that made me feel this way before, and yet I was in a hospital bed and I barely made it out alive from battling an alien clown who was tormenting us all this time. Our years were robbed from being together, and it was something I hated about all of this. Forgetting the Losers, forgetting all we went through, and worst of all, forgetting Stanley and how I loved him.

However, at this moment with him. I wasn't going to trade it.

"Can I kissed you again?" He asked, sounding so hopeful about it while he was still so close for me to do it myself. I beamed.

"Please do," I almost begged.

And so he did.