Harry reluctantly pulled away from the kiss with a dopey grin on his face, which he was happy and surprised to see mirrored back to him on the pointy little face of his enemy/beloved. Both boys blushed, and, still holding onto Draco's hand, Harry got up, pulling the blonde along with him. "Let's go do some serious Muggle teenager shit." Harry grinned.
"Ooh! Like what?" Draco asked, his face lighting up like a Muggle Christmas tree.
"I dunno," Harry said, laughing joyously. "Anything we want! We could break into a shop, steal some spray paint and deface some public landmarks...or break into a shop, steal some loo roll and loo roll people's houses like American Muggle teenagers do...ooh! And throw eggs! We could throw eggs at their houses too...or pour sugar into their gas tanks! Oooh! We could go to Buckingham Palace where the Muggle queen lives and absolutely destroy the place!" Harry guffawed, rubbing his hands together deviously.
"Now THAT sounds like fun." Draco said, smiling wickedly and grabbing their masks.
Holding hands, the boys ran back down the aisle. When they reached the door, Harry slid to a stop, his years of being the best quidditch player of all time kicking in and his ears perking up. "Draco, wait!" Harry hissed quietly, putting his hand out to stop the other boy from opening the door.
"What is it now, Potter?" Draco whined.
Harry put his finger in front of Draco's mouth, "Shhhh..." he shushed him annoyingly, and then he put his ear to the heavy church door and listened.
Something was going on outside the church, but Harry couldn't quite make out what, what with the door being so bloody thick and all. He took Draco's hand again and, looking deep into Draco's eyes, he gave his hand a squeeze and said, "Something is going on out there and it might not be safe. I want you to stay here and wait for me while I go check it out, all right, Draco?"
Draco frowned and pulled his hand out of Harry's grip. "No, it's not all right, Potter, who do you think I am? Weasley?" He spat the name. "I'm going with you."
"Draco, you don't understand! I saw a man murdered in cold blood in the middle of a Muggle street last night - by wizards! This could be extremely dangerous and you could be putting your life at risk by coming with me." Harry pleaded.
"Potter, either I walk out of this church with you and we face whatever is outside these doors together, or I'm going back home and you can forget about all of this." Draco said coldly.
"Forget about all of WHAT, Malfoy?" Harry was frustrated, why couldn't Draco just bloody well listen to him like everyone else did, for Merlin's sake!
"All of THIS." Draco said gesturing wildly to himself, Harry, the church. "US. Everything. All of it. I'm not Weasley, or your...cousin...or any of your other conquests. I won't just stay at home and knit like some sad housewife while you gallivant around, fighting, carousing, saving the world and having all the fun. We're either in this together, or not at all - or did all those vows we made back there mean nothing to you?"
Harry was stunned.
"Shit, Draco..." He said, running his hand through his roguishly disheveled hair, making it messier, but somehow even more attractively so.
Draco merely folded his arms in front of his chest haughtily and waited pointedly for Harry to make a decision.
A million thoughts raced through Harry's mind in a split second, most of them involving Dudley. Suddenly he felt as though he were standing on the edge of a cliff, deciding whether or not to jump.
"I can't believe you actually need to think about this, Potter." Draco said in a disgusted voice that just barely disguised the hurt he was feeling. "I told you no one else could ever love you or hurt you more than I can, so let me make this easier for you by making myself clear to the point of cruelty, since pain is one of the few things you seem to understand. You need to choose, right now - you can either choose your cousin and anyone else masochistic enough to have you, or me."
Harry's brain scrambled to calculate the complex mental and emotional arithmetic involved in this most horrible of choices.
Yes, he and Dudley had a...thing...together. But it was never supposed to be serious. It was more of a joke - a dare that got out of hand, if you will - and one that, deep down, even Harry didn't feel all that great about. He knew his parents would never have approved of him and Dudley, for very obvious reasons other than the fact that their parents hated each other's guts. And he knew it probably said something really dark about his psychological makeup that he would even consider getting into any kind of relationship with someone who had abused him as much as Dudley had throughout their entire lives.
And there was just so much about the relationship that Harry didn't like, quirks of Dudley's that frustrated him, like the alternating excessive mothering and need for constant babying. Ugh. It annoyed Harry more and more the longer he was away from it, and he could no longer deny, even to himself, that he was beginning to find Dudley suffocating.
Gorgeous, but suffocating.
But Draco Malfoy was beautiful too, in his own pointy faced, grey eyed, bleached blonde kind of way. And somehow, even just being near him, just thinking about him, quieted the angry, vengeful serpent in a way that Dudley never could.
And sure, Draco had bullied him as well, but there had always been something about their sparing that excited Harry at least as much as it angered him, and Draco Malfoy had never tried to flush his head down a toilet. Or urinated in his bed every night for a month to get him in trouble with aunt Petunia. Or blamed his own bad behaviour on Harry so Harry would be punished for it. Or beaten Harry up. Or killed Harry's pet rock Or done any of the other cruel things Dudley had done.
When Harry really thought about it, even in Draco's Neo-Death Eater days when he specialized in being a horrible, evil little shite, he was actually much less of a cruel, bullying, sociopath than Dudley ever was.
And anyway, childhood abuse and familial betrayal aside, Harry would have to have been stupid not to realize that Draco was the most powerful ally and weapon he could possibly have on his side in this battle. What could Dudley do? He wasn't even a wizard! And Harry could just imagine himself having to stop mid-battle to coo comfortingly to his cousin like a middle aged woman after some minor injury, only to end up having his head blown off by a spell or something stupid like that. And where would that leave humanity?
Dead from the Muggle Virus, obviously.
And meanwhile, here was Draco Malfoy, of all bloody people, offering - no, DEMANDING - to fight alongside him. And Harry was smart enough to know that someone who had been raised on the darkest of magic, in the wickedness of houses, could hold his own in the battle ahead. He'd already proven himself to be an asset, after all.
And sure, his parents might not have approved of Draco initially either, but once they realized that Draco had become good - or, at least as good as a Slytherin and Malfoy could be - well, that might change things. And besides, being a little evil was better than being a LOT related.
And anyway, he could always change his mind. He WAS The Chosen One, after all. Everyone on the planet was only alive because he allowed them to be.
Even Draco Malfoy.
Harry reached out and took Draco's hand in his own. "Draco, was it ever even a question?" He queried, gaslighting the hell out of the Slytherin. "Of course I choose you. It was always you, Draco."
Draco didn't have time to question the truthfulness of Harry's response, because before he could even take a breath, Harry was kissing him, wildly, passionately, more wildly wild and passionately passionate than he ever had before, effectively shutting down Draco's ability to think rational thoughts. Or any thoughts at all, for that matter.
"Now," Harry said, finally pulling away from the brain melting kiss, "Let's see what's going on out there."
Draco, still reeling from the kiss, could do little more than nod and hand Harry his mask. Harry grinned and gave Draco a kiss on the cheek, then both boys turned to face the heavy church door, took a deep breath and put their masks back on.
The enormous church door burst open and Harry and Draco strutted out, wands raised, ready to take on the world together.
But the world they walked out into was quite different to the one they had previously known and loved so well.
For one thing, Draco had been right - it really WAS on fire.
Masked and hooded figures, much like the ones who had murdered that man in the street, were everywhere, magically setting businesses and houses ablaze with fiendfyre. The flames took the shape of fantastic beasts that rampaged and roared through the street, reducing it to ash. The sky had grown so black from the smoke that if Harry hadn't known better, he might have thought it was midnight instead of early afternoon, and there was the unmistakable sound of people screaming on the toxic breeze.
Thank Merlin for Draco. Harry would've forgotten all about the bloody masks if it weren't for him, and they wouldn't have been able to breathe without the ugly things.
Luckily for Harry and Draco, their grand entrance went completely unnoticed by the evil arsonist murderer wizards, who were having far too much fun burning Muggle London to the ground. And as much as Harry hated to have a dramatic entrance go unnoticed, he realized he needed the time it bought them to try and conjure up a plan. He grabbed Draco by the arm and dragged him around to the side of the church where they were safely out of sight.
"Draco - " Harry started, with the slightest panicked edge to his voice, but Draco interrupted him.
"It's one of the ministry's death squads." He warned. "I heard father and Yaxley talking about this but it wasn't supposed to happen yet, I thought there was more time - " Draco's voice was rising in alarm.
Harry grabbed him by the shoulders and gave him a gentle shake. "It's okay, Draco, it's not your fault, just tell me what the hell is going on."
Draco took a deep breath. "I don't know what's happening right now, but I know the plan was to start burning down Muggle businesses and...houses...father said the Muggles wouldn't still be in the houses, though...they were supposed to be rounded up and taken to Azkaban...he said they wouldn't still be inside the houses..." The blonde's face suddenly changed from one of panic and fear to one of cold, calculated determination as the realization of his father's betrayal sunk in, and he gripped his wand so tightly that his knuckles turned white. "We have to stop them, Harry."
A cold chill raced throughout Harry's entire body, turning the blood in his veins to ice. He nodded in wordless agreement and gripped his own wand.
Harry was just about to turn to go back to the front of the church when Draco put out a hand to stop him.
"Together?" He asked, his grey eyes searching Harry's Slytherin green ones through the eye holes of their masks.
"Or not at all." Harry replied.
Harry didn't need to see Draco's mouth to know that he was smiling, he could sense it. And he hoped that Draco knew he was smiling too. After fighting so many battles alone, he had to admit, even if it was just to himself, that it felt good to have someone fighting alongside him.
"Wait - " Draco said suddenly. "We aren't supposed to use magic outside of school, won't it just bring more ministry officials to the scene if we fight?"
Harry smirked so hard that Draco could tell he was smirking even through his mask. "Draco, do you forget who you're with? I'm Harry Fucking Potter." He laughed. "I'm the only one who can save the world, let alone these ministry idiots, I dare them to try anything, I'm fucking untouchable."
"Fuck, Potter, that's the hottest thing you've ever said." Draco gasped, then quickly collected himself by biting down so hard on his own tongue that he drew blood. "Leth go fight thethe fucking bathtardth." He lisped through his swollen, bloody tongue, and this time he was the one who grabbed Harry's hand and began running out into the fray with wand raised and at the ready.
As soon as the boys reached the middle of the street they stopped. They were surrounded by members of the Ministry's death squad, who chose that exact moment to finally take notice of the young rebel fighters and begin closing in on them.
Harry turned to Draco just as Draco did the same. "For now to forever." He said solemnly, looking into the grey eyes of his beloved. "Till death do us part." Draco replied.
The death squad drew even closer but the boys were in their own world, lost in each other's eyes. "How violent would you like me to be, darling?" Draco drawled, with a wicked gleam in his eyes.
"With them?" Harry scoffed, with the same wicked gleam in his own eyes. "Why don't you show me how cruel you really can be - just make sure to leave some surprises for the honeymoon." He winked.
"Oh, I will." Draco growled almost menacingly. Then both boys spun around so they were standing back to back, whipped their wands out and began screaming curses at the ministry goons.
Draco soon found that, much like his kooky auntie Bella, he was quite partial to the cruciatus curse, it gave him such a thrill to torture the spineless bastards who would burn people alive while they were locked up and quarantined in their own homes. He also found he could crucio a whole pile of the disgusting death junkies all at once and still have time to gaze in a lustful stupor at his beloved, who had never been hotter to Draco than he was in that moment, as he shot Killing Curse after Killing Curse unrelentingly at the vile, murdering vermin, killing them instantly in flashes of gorgeous Slytherin green light.
"AVADA KEDAVRA, MOTHERFUCKERS!" Harry ejaculated, somehow magically managing to kill five ministry goons with a single Killing Curse, in a show of power and violence never before seen.
Draco had to bite down on his own tongue again to stop from making a right mess of himself. He shook his masked head, pointed his wand at the first death squad member to move and screamed, "CRUCIO!" Grinning behind his mask as he watched the man's body convulse from the excruciating torture curse.
But it wasn't enough. No, even the cruciatus curse was better than these murdering monsters deserved.
Draco raised his wand and flourished it cruelly, nearly striking the seizing man with it at he did so, "SECTUMSEMPRA!" He ejaculated, the spell tearing wounds into the man's flesh. "CRUCIO!" He ejaculated again, causing the man to convulse even harder, which made the blood pump out of his wounds even faster.
Even Harry had to stop murdering the evil ministry murderers for a day dreamy moment so he could watch in awe as Draco brutalized the goon with a level of cruelty the world hadn't seen since his auntie was locked up in Azkaban.
Draco spun in a circle and flourished his wand, pointing it directly in the tortured man's face, "SECTUMSEMPRA!" He ejaculated again. The man's flesh was was sliced into maggoty ribbons by the curse, spraying blood all over Draco as he laughed maniacally into the bleeding ground meat that used to be the other man's face. He was in his element. No wonder Gryffindors had such boners for going into battle.
Harry walked slowly over to Draco as if in a dream and put his hand on Draco's wand arm gently to stop him, "Let me finish him," He said, his breath ragged. Draco winked at him through his mask and then stepped aside with a sweeping bow, letting Harry take center stage.
Harry flourished his wand, conjuring up all the hatred and darkness inside his soul and directing it all at the pitiful, bleeding, half dead arsehole at his feet. "AVADA KEDAVRA!" He ejaculated in a terrifying, high pitched shriek.
The resulting Killing Curse was so powerful that it did the impossible and sent a shock wave up the street, instantly killing the rest of the Ministry's death squad, and causing Harry to fall gasping to his knees from exhaustion.
Draco was immediately back at his side, but instead of babying Harry and worrying over him like Dudley would have done, Draco grabbed him, tore both their masks off and began snogging him, causing both boys to topple over onto the blood soaked street, where they continued to snog almost violently, rolling around in the blood.
Harry could have stayed there happily with the pavement digging into his spine and Draco Malfoy on top of him, snogging him, almost crushing him, for an eternity, but after a few moments Draco suddenly stopped and said, "You may be untouchable, but we should still try not to get caught. We've got to get out of here, Potter," He gazed around at the fire still raging out of control all around them, the fantastic flame beasts ravenously consuming everything in their path, including St. James church. "There's nothing left for us here anyway." He continued, with a hint of sadness in his voice as he got up off of Harry and put his mask back on.
"You're right, Draco." Harry agreed, putting his own mask back on. As he got up he spotted something out of the corner of his eye that had somehow managed to survive the hungry beast flames, and a smile crept onto his face behind his mask. "Hey Draco, want to do one more Muggle teenager thing before we leave?" He asked.
"Potter, was that ever even a question?" Though Harry obviously couldn't see Draco's expression, he could hear the smile in the other boy's voice.
Harry winked at him through the eye holes of his mask and then flourished his wand magically. "ACCIO TROLLEY!" He cried, and with that, a battered but still intact Tesco's shopping trolley came whizzing through the air and landed right in front of Harry and Draco.
Draco looked at it confused. "What on earth is that?" He asked, laughing.
"Get in, young Master Malfoy, your chariot has arrived!" Harry declared, toppling Draco over and into the trolley. "Okay, whatever you say, Potter." Draco shook his head and laughed as Harry climbed onto the back of the old trolley, bent over to kiss the top of Draco's head and then began using his foot to propel them forward.
Soon they were gaining speed, both boys laughing and howling hysterically as they zoomed through the burning streets. It seemed as though all of Muggle London was on fire.
As they reached a hill Harry flourished his wand again and hissed something that Draco couldn't quite understand - he couldn't speak snake after all, that was Harry's thing - and just as the trolley was about to go careening dangerously down the hill and directly into a wall of fire that would surely burn them alive, it instead sprouted wings and took flight, carrying the boys safely away from the burning metropolis.
"Now," Draco said, craning his neck to look up at Harry as they flew through the smoke filled clouds in the trolley, "What was that you were saying about a honeymoon?"