Chapter 30
Arthur had cried more in three days than he had in the rest of his life. Every tiny little thing set him off and it was getting unbearable.
At one point it occurred to him that Merlin had suffered in the past year more than any man should in his whole life. It seemed to be incident after incident. He was constantly hurt or recovering from being so. No matter how well he managed to bounce back every time, it couldn't have been easy and no one knew when it would end. How many more times would he be rushed into hospital before he was finally safe?
Arthur wanted nothing more than to run to wherever Catrina was locked up and scream at her. Demand to know if she was happy now she'd succeeded.
Arthur was the only one left in Merlin's hospital room after three days of waiting for what they'd been told was inevitable. If anyone had walked in, they might have thought they were stuck in a photograph. Arthur was frozen in place on his chair, holding Merlin's hand tightly, willing for the faint pulse he could feel to continue. Merlin hadn't moved aside from the artificial rise and fall of his chest.
"Merlin," it pained Arthur just to say his name, "I know it's selfish of me to ask, especially if you're in pain, gorgeous, but, please, Merlin. I really can't say goodbye to you. I physically can't. If you get better now, I'll look after you forever. I won't rest until anyone who could hurt you is locked up. I just- there's so much I want to do with you Merlin. And I can't do any of it by myself. I don't care if we have pizza every night for the rest of your life. You promised, Merlin. You promised."
"Arthur?" the door opened and a doctor came in, "We, erm, we think he might be breathing on his own."
Arthur looked up, his neck cracking at the movement, "What?"
"We want to take the life support off."
"Really? And it won't kill him?"
"We don't think so."
Arthur's heart was racing. He studied Merlin and, now he was looking for it, his chest was definitely moving more and his face looked a lot less grey. He couldn't believe he hadn't noticed. After days of waiting for the movement to stop all together, he hadn't been expecting it to get better.
"Can I say something to him?" Arthur asked, "Just in case?"
The doctor nodded, "Of course you can."
"Alright, Merls. This is your chance. You have to get better. If I walk in here and you're not breathing on your own, I'll be so angry, Merlin. You know that, don't you? Ok. I'm trusting you."
He stepped outside the room and got his phone out.
"Gwen?"
"Arthur," she sounded terrified, "Is everything alright?"
"I don't know."
"Is Merlin-"
"They're taking him off the ventilator," Arthur said.
"What? Why?" he heard Lancelot in the background.
"They think he's breathing on his own. I- he- he might be getting better."
"Really? That's amazing!"
"I just didn't want to wait by myself. You're not busy, are you?"
"We're always busy," Lancelot said dryly, "We have a baby."
"Not too busy to talk if you need, though," Gwen added.
"No, I just didn't want to wait out here by myself. I can call someone else?"
"No, no," Gwen said, "We want to know how it goes."
"Do you think it was looking good?" Lancelot asked.
"He looked better," Arthur said, "So hopefully that's a good thing."
"Have you spoken to Hunith?" Gwen asked.
"I don't want to get her hopes up. Just in case."
"He'll be alright, Arthur," Lancelot said, "This is good news."
"I miss him," Arthur sighed, "Talk to me about something else. How's William?"
"He's so perfect, Arthur," Gwen said, "We were so sure when we first brought him home the few days we had when he slept well through the night and barely cried were just luck. But he's amazing. So calm and happy. He never screams unless something's really wrong- only cries quietly."
"We were worried something was wrong to begin with," Lancelot said, "We didn't think babies should be as quiet as he is. But we had him checked out and they say he's fine."
"Besides, he's not upset. He's so happy. I know he's only a few weeks old but he's just so sweet."
"We're so lucky," Lancelot said and Arthur could hear his smile.
"I'm so happy for you," Arthur said, "He's lucky to have such loving, amazing parents."
He continued to chat to them for a while, calmed by the fact no one had run into or out of Merlin's room in a panic which would have shown something was wrong.
"We wish we could be there with you," Gwen said, "We're really worried."
"He understands."
"After a day or so had passed," Lancelot said, "We started to hope that he might be alright. We wanted to come straight back and be with you but-"
"William needs you," Arthur said, "Don't worry. Besides, it's not the most entertaining place to be."
"You sound awful, Arthur," Gwen said, "You need to look after yourself."
"If I had a penny for every time I'd heard that."
"Ask someone else to come and sit with him," Lancelot said, "Go home and get some sleep and something to eat. Rest your shoulder. He'll need you to be healthy."
"I can't go home," Arthur said, "Not at the minute. I can't. It's too much. There's no way I can walk past all his stuff or sleep in our bed when he's-"
"Arthur?" a doctor popped his head out of Merlin's room, "Do you want to come in?"
"Is he-"
"He's going to be fine," the doctor smiled.
Arthur felt like he was about to faint. He jumped to his feet, forgetting all about his conversation with Gwen and Lance. He didn't remember getting from the corridor to Merlin's side because he moved so fast. The horrible ventilator and feeding tube had been taken away, along with half the other tubes, none of which Arthur had ever known what they were doing. The only sign of any machinery on Merlin's face was the oxygen tube hooked in his nose.
"He's alright," Arthur breathed, "I can't believe it."
"We don't understand how he's managed it," the doctor admitted, "We were so sure he was past the point of saving."
Arthur heard his name yelled faintly through the phone he'd stuffed in his pocket and he fumbled for it, "Gwen. He's alright. He's alive! He's going to be fine!" He reached out and stroked Merlin's now rosy cheek affectionately, "He's alright."
Arthur couldn't have explained where the chair came from which he sunk into and began to cry in relief. The doctor placed a hand on his shoulder, "There shouldn't be any problems now. We'll be in to check on him regularly."
"Do you know when he might wake up?"
"It's hard to say. I don't think you'll be waiting too long." She left respectfully, taking her team with her.
"I knew it, Merlin," Arthur said, "I knew you wouldn't break your promise."
He quickly spoke to Gwen, hung up and immediately called Hunith.
"He's alive!" he screamed before she'd had the chance to ask if everything was alright, "He's going to be ok!"
He was half way through a conversation with Hunith when the door opened and Leon came in.
"Arthur, you have to go home, mate. You'll make yourself- what happened?"
Arthur stood up and hugged Leon, "He's going to be alright!" He'd never been so glad to repeat the same thing so many times.
Arthur finished his call with Hunith and promised to call her once Merlin was awake while Leon texted Morgana. They'd come in together to pick Arthur up and force him to go home for a while but she hadn't quite been able to face going back to the room.
When she burst into the room, Arthur was sitting on the edge of Merlin's bed, holding his hand tightly and smiling. She rushed over and fell into the chair beside them, her eyes glistening.
"Isn't it great?" Arthur grinned like a small child.
Leon's phone buzzed, "It's Percival," he said, "He's having trouble getting Gwaine to put down a bottle of vodka which he mixed with tequila."
Arthur cringed, "Is he asking for help?"
Leon nodded, "I'll tell him I can't come over but I've got something better."
He quickly took a photo of Arthur by the side of Merlin's bed, making sure Merlin's ventilator-free face was visible and sent it with a text that said, 'Show him this. Tell him Merlin will be furious when he wakes up.'
"Have the police sorted out Borden?" Morgana asked Arthur.
"I have no idea. Dad's been great with sorting out all of that stuff. I haven't been thinking about it. I'm fairly sure Borden was arrested and he's got people looking into anyone else who might be a threat. But honestly I've just trusted dad to be on top of everything while I've been here."
"And dad still has Killi?"
Arthur nodded, "He's been amazing, Morgs."
"No. He's just been your dad."
"Our dad."
Leon laughed, interrupting their conversation, "Sorry. Apparently once Percy convinced Gwaine we were actually telling the truth, he started running around trying to find and eat every piece of bread they had and drinking several pints of water. He's now trying to figure out how to put a shirt on."
Arthur snorted, "If he stumbles in here drunk. I'll kick him out the window."
"According to Perce, there's now three loaves of bread on the floor and each slice has a few bites taken out of them. He wants you to pay for the damages, Arthur."
Arthur laughed, "Gwaine can pay it himself. It's his bread."
"Not a chance in hell. It's Percival's fancy wheat, gluten and everything else-free, seeded what-not that he swears by and costs about forty times more than normal bread."
"I don't think that man has ever put even a grain of sugar in his mouth," Morgana muttered.
"How long will they be?" Arthur asked.
"That depends on whether Percival gets Gwaine to tidy the flat up before they leave or not. But if they're heading straight here, only about ten minutes."
"Ten minutes to sober up," Arthur mused, "That would be a record for Gwaine."
He turned his attention back to Merlin and smiled at how much better he already looked. His face had more colour, his eyes seemed less sunken and the pulse under Arthur's finger's felt so much stronger already.
They were all expecting Gwaine to be the next person stumble through the door. But when the door did open, it was Gwen who came in, holding William tightly, and Lancelot following behind.
"We had to drop in," she said, "We probably won't be able to stay long."
Morgana took the baby off her and cuddled him while Gwen hugged Arthur, "How's he doing?"
"He's so much better," Arthur looked down to Merlin giddily, wanting nothing more than to kiss him.
"You look better too," Lancelot noted, coming forward to greet him.
"You still need to go home at some point," Morgana told him.
"Not without Merlin," Arthur said.
"I hope you don't mind," Gwen said, "We called Elyan to let him know."
"That's fine. Is he coming in?"
"Not today. He thought it would be too crowded. He'll come at some point, though."
They chatted happily for a while until Gwaine stumbled in, Percival following and looking extremely exasperated. Gwaine fell into the nearest chair, calmed for a minute and then shot up again, remembering why he was there. "Merlin."
The friends settled down to talk for a few hours. William had a lovely time being passed around everyone, except Gwaine, and being cuddled, cooed at and played with.
After a while, Gwaine and Percival had fallen asleep in their chairs and Lancelot was napping with his son in his arms. Gwen and Morgana had gone out for a walk and to find some drinks for everyone. So Leon was the only one keeping Arthur company when he felt Merlin's hand squeeze his.
Arthur looked down, thinking he'd imagined it, "Did you see that?" he asked Leon.
"His fingers moved."
Arthur shuffled so he was facing Merlin more and took his other hand just in time for Merlin's fingers to curl very purposefully around his. "Merlin?" he said hopefully, watching as his eyelids flickered. "Merlin, gorgeous, can you hear me?"
Merlin's index finger on his left hand began tracing a tiny shape on Arthur's hand.
"What's he drawing?" Leon asked.
"A heart," Arthur smiled tearfully, "Oh, Merlin. Can you open your eyes?" He began stroking Merlin's temple, right beside his eye, "Come on, gorgeous, please."
"Arthur," Merlin breathed.
"I'm here. You're ok, Merlin. You're going to be alright."
"It doesn't hurt anymore," Merlin mumbled.
"Hm?"
"To breathe. I can breathe."
"Yeah. They fixed you up. You're going to be fine."
Merlin's eyes flickered open, focusing tiredly on Arthur immediately.
"I'll go and find someone," Leon offered, "I'll, erm, take my time."
Arthur smiled briefly at him before looking back to Merlin, "How do you feel?"
"Not good?"
"How so?"
"Tired. Weak. Why are you crying?"
"I was really worried. The hospital called me after your surgery to come in and say goodbye. You were dying."
Merlin looked terrified.
"But you're alright now. That's what's important. You're going to fine."
"I upset everyone?"
Arthur sighed, "Yeah. But it's not your fault and the don't care. Not anymore. They're just happy you'll be alright."
Merlin's eyes moved away from Arthur for the first time and he looked around at everyone with a soft smile.
"Everyone else is here as well. They're so relieved."
"The surgery went wrong?"
"They said you just weren't strong enough. But you are. You're alright."
Leon returned with a doctor who ushered Arthur away from the bed while Leon woke up the others quietly. Gwaine would have been a lot more excited if he hadn't also had an awful headache.
Once the doctor had left and said everything was alright, Arthur went straight back to Merlin, "What's wrong?"
"I scared everyone. Made them all upset for no reason."
"That's not important," Lancelot stood up, cradling William, "We'd so much rather you were alive and well, no matter how upset we got."
"But I hurt you."
"And now we're not hurt. Honestly, Merlin how could you possibly think we'd be annoyed with you now?"
Arthur took his hand, "He's right, Merlin. We couldn't be annoyed with you."
Gwaine stumbled forward, clutching his head, "Actually, mate, I wasted a lot of money on alcohol for you."
Merlin's face fell, "You didn't."
Arthur scowled at Gwaine, "Unfortunately Gwaine thought it would be a wonderful idea to drink every drop of alcohol in the country."
"Gwaine," Merlin groaned, "Why?"
"Don't worry, we'll sort him out later," Arthur promised.
"When can I come home?"
"Not long now. Killi will be happy to see you."
The girls practically screamed when they returned to the room and found Merlin holding baby William with Arthur's help. He looked tired and pale, and his eyelids kept drooping. But the main thing was for them to be able to droop, they had to have been open. Arthur only just managed to lift William out of the way before Gwen and Morgana had both flung themselves at Merlin and would have squished the baby.
Everyone in the room was crying by the time the girls pulled away. They were all happier than they'd been in a very long time.
Just over a week later, Arthur was gently placing Merlin down on their bed, in their room, in their home, unable to stop himself from smiling. He was technically not meant to be using the arm on the side where he'd shattered his shoulder spectacularly, but there was no one else he was letting carry Merlin home that day. He clambered in next to Merlin and wrapped an arm around him, "You have no idea how happy I am to have you home."
Merlin looked up and kissed him happily before saying, "Shouldn't you be helping Morgana?"
Arthur shrugged, "Probably. But I'd definitely rather sit here with you."
"There'll be plenty of time for you to do that when your sister isn't doing all your work for you."
"Technically, they're your bags so it's your work."
"Except I am physically incapable of getting my bags because I am ill and only have one leg. So the responsibility falls to my wonderful caring boyfriend."
"Who is currently busy with his wonderful caring boyfriend," Arthur said, "So the responsibility falls to his sister."
"Arthur."
"Don't you want me here?"
"I do. But I also don't want Morgana getting annoyed when she has to carry in those huge oxygen tanks."
"Leon can get them."
"Leon's with Percival and Gwaine."
"I have a broken shoulder."
"You can lift them with one arm. You're strong."
Arthur sighed, "Alright. Give me two seconds."
Naturally, when Arthur got back upstairs from helping Morgana unpack her car and seeing her off, Merlin was asleep. He got back into the bed carefully and scooted over to Merlin who stirred and looked up at him, "Where's Killi?"
"I told my dad I'd pick him up tomorrow. So we can have some time to ourselves."
Merlin smiled, "That sounds like an excellent idea."
"Like it, do you?" Arthur smirked suggestively.
Merlin sat up and wrapped his arms around Arthur neck, "You could say that."