Lost
"Wasn't so bad, was it?" Joey asked, walking outside their boss' house where AJ was standing after the dinner and night was over.
"No, it was fine." AJ nodded to him.
"Happy about the pay rise?" Joey asked her as she nodded.
"Of course. I was waiting on it. Expect me to do more work? Pay me for it." AJ nodded simply as Joey smiled.
"You know your worth." Joey nodded to her as she looked down at the ground, shivering a little from the cold air, "You cold?" He asked.
"I'm fine." AJ assured him.
"You want my jacket?" He asked.
"No, really. I'm ok." AJ nodded to him, "My husband is picking me up. He should be here soon." She said as Joey nodded.
"So you guys have been going strong ever since he got out?" Joey asked.
"Pretty much." AJ said.
"I figured it'd happen." He said.
"How's that?" AJ asked.
"Well it's where your head was at when we were dating. I knew you would have much rathered him than me-"
"It wasn't like that." AJ shook her head.
"I mean… it was." Joey chuckled, "And hey, no hard feelings. You can't help who you're in love with. Right?" He shrugged as she nodded.
"I guess not." AJ said, "To be honest, you being back here and seeing you again at the office, kinda brings it all back for me." She said. She figured she may as well be honest with him.
"Like the ghost of Christmas past, huh?" Joey nodded.
"Kinda." AJ nodded, "That was a really difficult time for me and… I'm not saying you're the reminder of it but it does make me remember it all. It just might take a while to get used to." She said as he nodded.
"That's fair enough." Joey said, "I guess it all worked out for you in the end. The man you love came back. Father of your children. That's how it was supposed to be."
"Yeah, it was." AJ nodded to him, "It's not been all sunshine and rainbows since he's been out, though. Believe me." AJ shook her head.
"I uh… I heard about what happened to your daughter." Joey nodded to her as AJ turned around, "Jude."
"You heard?" AJ narrowed her brows unhappily.
"I've got a friend who works at the police station. He told me about it. He remembered that you and I dated for a while." Joey said, "Must have been awful."
"It was." AJ said, "It's not public knowledge, though." She made clear.
"I'm just saying… I can still be your friend." Joey nodded, "Like we were before."
"I know that." AJ nodded to him, thankfully watching as Punk pulled up. She crossed her fingers and toes that he didn't get out of the car, "I'll see you Monday." She told Joey whilst getting into the car, closing the door behind her and throwing her purse into the back seat.
"Hey." Punk smiled.
"Hi." AJ smiled, leaning over and kissing him as Punk turned to look out his window, looking on at Joey who was walking back inside the house.
"He even walks like a dick." Punk mumbled.
"What?" AJ didn't hear.
"How was your night?" Punk turned to her with a smile, driving off into the night.
"It was fine." AJ nodded, "I'm getting a pay rise."
"Really?" Punk raised his eyebrows.
"Yeah well he's piling more responsibilities onto me so I should think so." AJ said, "It was fine. We just talked about the company for majority of the night." She nodded.
"Was that Joey you were speaking to?" Punk asked.
"Yeah." AJ said, "How was dinner at Thea's?" She asked.
"It was good." Punk nodded, "It was nice to see her settled back in the house. She is becoming a more open person, you know."
"I've noticed." AJ said, "Good, I'm glad." She nodded with a smile.
"She misses Sam a lot." Punk nodded as AJ sighed a little.
"Sometimes I do too." AJ realised as Punk nodded, "Shocker, right?"
"Well, she was there for you a lot. Maybe more than she was for me." Punk said as AJ nodded.
"She had her moments." AJ agreed, "Oh, I asked my boss about the vacation for next month. He said that's totally fine." She nodded.
"Good, cause the hotel is already booked." Punk laughed a little as she smiled.
"I can't wait to get away for a while." AJ nodded, leaning her head back on the seat, watching him as he kept his eyes on the road, reaching over and placing her hand on his thigh as he smiled, glancing at her.
"You good?" He smiled, looking back to the road.
"Pull in up here." AJ directed ahead as he pulled into the empty parking lot.
"What are you doing?" He chuckled.
"What am I doing?" AJ questioned, "I think you'll find that you have some paying back to do." She nodded, taking her seatbelt off and climbing into the back seat as Punk chuckled.
He got out of the car and opened up the back seat, climbing in and closing it behind him, toppling over her in the back seat as she chuckled, wrapping her legs and arms around him as their lips met.
"You got some coffee on the go?" Sam asked, wandering into the kitchen as AJ followed.
"I'm really not in the mood for one of your spontaneous visits tonight." AJ said whilst Jude looked up from focusing on her art work.
"Hi, baby." Sam smiled to her.
"Hey Sam." Jude nodded. The girls were used to Sam coming and going randomly in their lives.
"I just saw your new boyfriend leaving." Sam nodded, "Little less tattoos than you're used to, huh?" She smiled, "Less tattoos, more suit and tie. Not very April esque." She shook her head as Jude smiled a little to herself.
"Don't come here and stick up for your son like you give a damn." AJ rolled her eyes.
"It's not about him. I'm not making it about him." Sam said.
"Oh, everyone is making it about him. I'm completely aware that Joey is nothing like Phil. I do have a set of eyes." AJ nodded, yanking the coffee pot over and pouring herself much needed coffee.
"Babe, can you give us a minute?" Sam asked Jude.
"I'm sick of this house." Jude huffed, getting up from the table yet again and leaving the kitchen as AJ watched, "What's up with her?"
"She's just… in a bad mood." AJ sighed, "Look if you're here to lecture me just don't bother, I get enough of it from Thea." She shook her head, sitting down at the table as Sam watched her.
"You know it's because she cares, right?" Sam nodded.
"No, I don't think it is. I think I'm finally having something for myself. I'm finally doing something other than… being there for them, and they don't like it. Maybe I've spoiled them over the years. They don't know how lucky they are. I grew up with a mom who didn't give a shit about me." She shook her head. Sometimes she was just frustrated.
"I really believe that if you found a man who you were compatible with and who you really fell in love with, the girls would support you. They'd be upset maybe. Jude would be upset. Thea would pretend she wasn't but… she'd be upset." Sam said, "But they'd support you."
"And how do they know that I'm not falling in love with Joey?" AJ questioned as Sam rolled her eyes.
"Cause they got eyes too." Sam nodded, "Come on… a cooperate guy with a suit? That's not you. Don't be ashamed to say you like a bad guy. There's no harm in that."
"Just because he wears a suit and tie doesn't mean he has a particular personality." AJ said, "Y'all are so judgemental, it's unreal." AJ said.
"Or it's the truth." Sam said, "You like a guy who goes to work with his hands and comes home dirty. Who rolls around with the kids in the yard. Who doesn't make you feel like you're just an accessory-"
"You've never even met Joey." AJ shook her head.
"Thea fills me in." Sam said, "Now I'm not saying there's no one out there for you besides Phil, but really? This guy?" She questioned.
"I am not smitten with him. I know that. I'm not head over heels in love." AJ nodded, "But I'm dating him. I'm trying to live my life here. I am just as overwhelmed by it as the girls are. I don't think they believe me when I say that, but I am." She said, "I can't… I can't just wait years for Phil. And even at that, when he gets out of prison, nothing is gonna be the same." She shook her head, "For once I'm just… looking out for myself."
"And that's ok." Sam shrugged, "If you can tell me that you see this… relationship with Joey going somewhere then I'll shut right up. If you can honestly say that you see him in your future, I'll not speak about it again." She nodded as AJ stayed silent.
"It's just… he talks about getting married and having kids." AJ shook her head, "That's nothing I've want. I've had my kids. I've done the wedding thing. So yeah, ok I admit it, part of me knows that this might not go anywhere but I'm just… I'm-"
"Trying to see if you can really move on from Phil?" Sam nodded, "I think we all know that's what you're doing, and I think we all know it's probably not gonna happen."
"Well that's not for you to say. That's on me. And if I want to try and move on then that's my decision." AJ made clear.
"I know it is." Sam said, "And I know that also in the back of your head, you know that nothing's ever gonna be like it was with Phil. No relationship will ever be like that. And that's gotta be hard when you say you're trying to move on."
"It is." AJ shook her head, "I just… I wish he was here." AJ nodded, "It'd really make my life so much easier. And then I think about what he said when I last visited him and… and then I hate him all over again-"
"Well… that's the story of you and Phil. He leaves, you hate him, he comes back and… you love him again."
"This time won't be the same." AJ shook her head, "God knows when he's actually getting out. It's already been five years and… I don't see us recovering."
"Well… I do." Sam nodded to her, "Just don't be causing yourself any unnecessary pain with this guy. Don't force it just cause you're mad at Phil."
"I'm not mad at him." AJ shook her head, "I don't know what I feel for him anymore. And I'm tired of people looking at me for the answers. I don't have them. Clearly." AJ said.
"You don't have to be strong for everyone all the time. I'm sure the girls just want you to be happy. They want the best for you." She nodded.
"I know." AJ sighed, "They can be little assholes, though." AJ shook her head as Sam chuckled.
"Yeah well that's kids for you." Sam nodded.
"I don't know what I'm doing." AJ sighed. She was trying to move on whilst knowing fine well the relationship with Joey wasn't going anywhere above just casual dating. He wanted more. He wanted a life with her and she knew she didn't want that with him. It was a strange time in her life for her. She felt lost.