Fragments
"The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward."
― Steve Maraboli
X
"It is beautiful no?" she said, her hand coming up to softly dry her eyes.
And as I looked at the man I loved holding our child in his arms, his fingers softly running over her face, I couldn't help but agree with her.
It was beautiful.
X
Aro Volturi as a Master is commanding, determined and above all...effective.
Aro Volturi as a father is breathtaking.
It took him no time at all to turn the bedroom next to his into a nursery.
"So he could be close by any time she needed him," he said.
He'd had the room gutted. You could barely tell its previous use from its current station. The entire room was bathed in soft saffron ivory.
"Peaceful yet feminine" he said.
He'd had the window that spanned the entire southern wall of the room covered with soft white fabric curtains. Depictions of giraffes and elephants trapezing across the base of them that grazed the floor. The grey carpet was flush, my feet sunk into it every time I entered the room.
He'd had the crib custom made. It had taken six months to arrive. There were glossy embossings of 'Alieciá Volturi' etched into the crisp wooden edges.
That had been the first change.
Her name.
X
As we walked from Caius' home, Aliecia firmly grasped within the arms of her father I found myself lost. Not physically rather but emotionally. Mentally.
He had her. Our daughter.
He'd made it clear that I wasn't going to stand in the way of his relationship with her and I had no intention to, but where did that leave me?
Where did that leave us?
What happened now?
"Aro?" I questioned him as we sat in the car, Afton presumably taking us back to his estate.
"What happens now?"
His head barely turned to me, he moved to speak and open his mouth but instead his lips closed and he sat still once again.
"Aro?" I asked again.
"Aro?"
He was silent as he stared at me his eyebrows scrunched together as if he were trying to decode a secret, or reassemble a puzzle.
But I wasn't a puzzle.
Was I?
I called his name one more time before he lifted his hand to shush me.
He pursed his lips before he began to speak.
"Isabella," he said before pausing.
"It seems we are at an impasse."
"How so?" I asked him, my head tilting in confusion.
"We have a child," he snapped out his mouth twisting in displeasure as he continued to talk, "A child I cannot legally claim. I have a child with a woman who is not my wife and that does not bear my name."
"That my dear Isabella," he spat, the endearment slipping past his lips like acid, "is indeed an impasse."
"Okay yes but-"
He kept talking, speaking over me.
"Which leaves us with a few choices, some I find more desirable than most. Option 1, I file a motion of paternity with my DNA sample, I claim the subsequent parental rights, give my daughter her name and birth right, you get a large lump sum of money and disappear never to be seen again."
"How dare you, you son of-"
"Option Two," he continued, "I still file the paternal motion, claim my rights, you still get your money though I'll buy you a villa near mine to stay close as the vigilant, kind and maternal neighbor always on the periphery."
"And option three?" I demanded.
"Option three… you marry me."
X
I had to admit that he had spared no expense for her.
He bought the best food for me after I told him that I wanted to breastfeed for as long as I could. I complained about how tight I thought her diapers were fitting against her skin and the next day he found these top of line cloth linen diapers.
If I complained about anything, he fixed it.
"Signora." I looked up as Genevera walked towards me, Aliecia in her arms, her chubby fingers waving about as she reached for me.
"La bambina è sveglia."
"Capisco, ha mangiato?"
"Si signora e il signor Volturi ti sta chiedendo. È l'ufficio signora," she said as I took Aliecia from her arms and held her against me. She was growing fast. Her little curls were growing wildly around her head, almost reaching her shoulders. Her skin, darkening to reflect that of her fathers. She was beautiful, though I did have a sort of biased opinion.
I held her to me tighter as we walked towards Aro's office, the doorway open with light from the window casting shadows across the floor.
There he was.
My husband.
Pacing slowly, back and forth across the room, his hands clasped together behind him.
My husband.
Though he was that in name only.
X
"Aro please. Think about this."
"I have," he said, turning to me, "and so have you. This was your choice. Remember that Isabella."
"It wasn't and you know that. You gave me no choice"
"Yes, actually I did. Though you may not have liked the options a choice is what you were given and a choice is what you made. Now for this to work, to be believable, several things must happen."
"Like what," I snapped.
"We will be wed. Soon. Aliecia's last name will be changed and a reception will be held to present us as a united loving family to my company."
"And if I object?"
"Then options one and two still stand," he said, his dark eyes landing on me.
I hated him. I hated this, but what could I do? He'd already filed the paternity papers. They favored fathers here. That much I knew. Not to mention a wealthy one. A wealthy one who owned half the city.
I hated him, but I had no choice.
"I have a condition," I said, turning to face him.
His eyebrows raised in question.
"If I marry you, if we do this, you will be my husband in name only. I will not sleep with you."
I didn't want him touching me.
He froze slightly, his eyebrows furrowing in thought before a smirk came across his lips.
"That will do," he said. "For now…"
X
"And how is my little one today?" he crooned holding out his hands for Aliecia who went to him easily. Her chubby little arms flapping with excitement as Aro held her and spoke to her softly in Italian.
"Genevera told me you were asking for me," I stated, standing in his office with my hands clasped lightly in front of me.
He paced a ways away from me, holding Aliecia close to his chest, placing paternal kisses along her forehead as she babbled away in her baby tongue grasping at the tie at the crux of his neck.
"Yes," he said, seeming to gather his thoughts before he spoke again.
"The reception is tonight," he said before pausing and turning back to face me.
"I assume you remember?"
"Ah yes, our presentation as a loving, nurturing wholesome family though we are none of those things."
"Isabella," he sighed, placing his hand on the back of Aliecia's head and holding her closer.
"Must we do this again? You know what is expected of you."
"Yes. To put on a smile, laugh, wave and look upon you with adoration. To convince your lap dogs that I wouldn't want to be anywhere else than right by your side though I can hardly stand to look at you now."
There was a slight twitch in his mouth that made me pause. A down turning in his lips that made me halt in my tirade, but before I could examine it further he turned away from me once more. His back facing me again.
It was several seconds before he spoke and when he did his tone was softer.
"I don't wish to fight with you Isabella."
I frowned, the space between my eyebrows scrunching before I took a deep breath and tried to calm down.
Before either one of us could speak again Aliecia broke the silence with a soft whine, her mouth forming o's as she tried to nestle into Aro's chest.
He smiled down at her, stars in his brown eyes before he walked back to me.
"It seems the little one is hungry hmm?"
I said nothing, taking my daughter from his arms and sitting in the love seat along the wall before pulling down the deep neckline of my white top to breastfeed. She latched with little effort and as she suckled I could feel her pulling on my heartstrings, reminding me again why I was here and what my purpose was.
When I looked up Aro was watching me. His gaze heavy as he observed us.
"We must attend the reception. It would be quite impudent for us to reject the invitation of a celebration given in our honor," he paused once more before speaking his heavy gaze once again landing on me. "Though you do not have to exhibit any behaviors that do not come to you naturally."
My head tilted to the side in confusion as I switched Aliecia from one breast to the other.
"So you're saying-," but he interrupted me before I could finish, his tone hardening as he spoke.
"I'm saying that you do not have to gaze at me in adoration or pretend we are a loving and wholesome family, something clearly we are not," he spit out before turning on his heel and leaving the room, the door closing sharply behind him.
X
I was careful as I walked down the steps, my heels higher than I was used to. I had to admit though I looked good. Dora had helped me pick out the dress.
An emerald green design with a thigh high slit up the left side of my leg. A tight bodice to emphasize my waist, with straps that merged over one shoulder with a peak of cleavage in the middle.
I was happy to learn that the aid she gave me and the secrets she kept from Caius when I left hadn't caused any undue damage to their relationship. She more than anyone deserved to be happy.
My silver peep-toe heels made frequent peeks out from the fabric of my floor length dress as I continued down the stairs to meet Aro in the foyer.
When I reached the bottom he was there, with his hand out to steady me should I fall.
"You look beautiful tes-," he said before pausing mid sentence, like the words got caught in the back of his throat.
I could feel the heat flaming in my face as I flushed involuntarily from the complement before remembering why I was doing this. How he had strong armed me into this marriage, into this relationship, and my back straightened.
I nodded once stiffly before stepping around him to the mirror in the hallway to check my appearance once before we left.
Really needing to escape from his presence, from his gaze, from him.
My hair had been curled and made to spill onto the one side of my shoulders falling almost to my waist in its length. The red lipstick I had painted on made my pale skin stand out even further against the dress.
I was primping my hair anxiously needing something to do with my hands when Aro appeared behind me in the mirror. His eyes darkened as he looked at our reflection.
Half of his hair was clipped back with a hair tie, the rest fell to his shoulders, touching the fabric of the dark grey Zegna suit he wore. It was fitted to perfection and my eyes immediately glanced away before he saw the blush rush up my neck.
"Are you ready?" he asked, his voice deep and thick with tension.
I nodded minutely before I turned gasping as I bumped into his chest almost falling into him.
He grabbed my waist to steady me, his hands wrapping around and his thumbs meeting along my lower abdomen, grazing back and forth.
My eyelids fluttered at his touch overcome with his heady scent not used to it after so long without him.
"Aro," I said softly, tilting my head back to look up at him.
He gazed down at me, something indescribable in his eyes before he stepped back, giving me some space and instead grabbing my hand into his.
"Come Isabella, Afton awaits us."
X
I knew many people worked for Aro and his brothers. They owned many businesses that spanned half the city. I was unprepared however for the three hundred guest reception that awaited us as we walked into the room.
It seemed we couldn't take two steps without one of his employees stopping us to shake hands and extend congratulations. After a while all I could do was smile and say thank you. Aro handled it better than I did, being used to the flattery he took it in stride and as expected of a new father couldn't wait to pull out his phone and show off pictures of his daughter. He smiled bigger and stood taller every time someone said she looked just like him.
And she did.
It wasn't until the entertainment took the stage and began a smooth classical compilation that we had a moment to take a breath and be seated at one of the tables that surrounded the ensemble.
"Would you like a drink Mrs. Volturi?"
I turned my head to see one of the waiters standing next to me with a tray of champagne flutes, offering me one.
I shook my head, declining it before I looked at Aro in question gesturing to the waiter.
"Aro?"
He shook his head in the negative before requesting two waters instead.
When the man left I turned back to him curiously.
"Are you not drinking tonight?"
"No," he said softly before glancing down in his lap, a look of vulnerability coming over his face.
"I have been sober for six weeks now. I know it's not much but-".
I stopped him before he could continue.
"Yes it is," I said with finality, pride filling my voice.
He looked back down at his hands which trembled slightly before glancing back up at me.
"They still shake sometimes," he said in embarrassment wrapping said hands around the tumbler of water brought to us by the waiter. He lifted it to his mouth taking a sip nervously.
I leaned closer to him taking one of his hands and enclosing it in both of mine.
"It will heal in time."
He looked at me again, with that deep heavy gaze. Like he could see all the way down into my soul.
"Will you?" he asked me.
"What do you mean?"
"Will you heal?" He asked me again, "Will we?" he asked even softer.
Before I could formulate a response we were interrupted.
"Se vuoi ballare la pista o aprire," the ensemble leader leaned down and said into the microphone.
Aro then stood up then and offered me his hand.
"Would you honor me with a dance Isabella?"
I looked up at him, placing my hand in his as he led us to the dance floor.
We were the first ones out and when the others approaching saw us they waited, gracing us with the first dance of the evening. I rested my head on Aro's shoulder, my left hand enclosed in his right as we swayed on the dance floor, all eyes on us.
I could see them as they watched us, some in envy some in adoration. Though all viewed us from shaded lenses. They believed us to be in love, they believed us to be happily married newlyweds with stars in our eyes and my heart broke with the vision.
We weren't happily married. We weren't in love and a tear fell from my eye as I realized that no. Maybe I would never heal.
Translations
Signora, la bambina è sveglia : Ma'am the baby is awake
Capisco, ha mangiato? : I see, has she eaten?
Se vuoi ballare la pista o aprire. : If you would like to dance the floor is open