Disclaimer: The same as the previous chapters.

Chapter 41

The study was just a little colder when they parted. Resting his head over her soft curls, Severus inhaled deeply. He felt warm within and those angry screams echoing inside his mind were gradually getting reduced to soft murmurs. Still held against him, she spoke, her words tickling his aching lips. "I know this is too fast, but it seems I know you for a lifetime. I mean I do know you but…"

He finished it for her," It's too fast, I know, I am sorry, but, I just can't keep myself away."

Shaking her head slightly, Hermione blinked and argued," It is only logical. For the last two days, I saw everything, heard everything, felt every atom of your emotions. It was like I lived your whole life, wearing your shoes. I can't just imagine living a life like that," caressing his face softly, she added," I don't usually jump into things, I have a habit of thinking it through, weighing all the pros and cons." He had curled his lips up at that and whispered, tugging a few strands of her wild hair," your mind is nothing but an out of control roller coaster." It was fulfilling to watch her cheeks colour up at that. Biting her lips, she watched his eyes narrow down to them and smirked back daring to say something out of character," it's one of your weaknesses?"

Snape just let go of her and started walking towards the bedroom. Surprised at his swift dismissal, Hermione slowly sat down on his chair, looking quite put out. She watched him cross the length of the study and marveled at his slender back. A panther, how befitting was it. Collected, controlled, decisive, and vigilant. It took her nearly a day to understand all those weird thoughts. All of those strange faces, the insides of a shabby house, a small girl with red hair, a twisted tree much like the Whomping Willow were fragments of his memories.

Those emotions that pushed her towards holding him in her arms only grew stronger by the hour. But then she was once Hermione Granger, a girl who thought elves were being taken advantage of and campaigned for their rights even when the whole school mocked her. Turning the knob with one hand, he looked back at her and mimicked her previous gesture. Bringing his hand up, he murmured," Can we rest for a while, Madam Snape?"

Entering the bedroom, Severus deliberately kept his eyes on his young wife, while both of them undressed slowly. Nothing much, just the robes and the boots and perhaps the sweaters or just the dress tumbled one by one and gathered themselves in a heap over the foot bench. He just didn't wish to be reminded about how painful the bed itself had become when they had slept on it for the last time. If they were to lay side by side, he wanted to hold on to the thought, he was doing it with her, the rest didn't matter for the time being.

Pulling off the covers from both sides, they eased themselves on the bed. Suddenly it became too natural for them to spoon against each other. He wanted to hear her heartbeat and she wanted to massage his aching head. Dragging her fingers over his scalp, putting pressure once in a while, she watched his eyes flutter shut and heard something close to purring. She thought, Well I guessed it right, a big cat, he is nothing but a big wild black cat. Scrunching his face, he murmured aloud," don't you dare confuse me with your flat-faced ginger ball."

She blurted out,"Is it okay?"

Confused, he asked, "What?"

"The fact that I am holding you like this?"

Allowing a shuddering breath to escape his lips, he nodded and whispered against her chest," I...don't remember any one holding me like this before."

"Does that make you hate this situation?"

"Does it make you hate me?" he tried again to find some lingering doubts in her mind.

"I...can't love you right away, but I would like to go along with whatever this is."

"I see."

She couldn't think of anything to add to that, so she just held on to him tighter. His hands had twined together around her petite body.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Even after getting to flip through all my memories, without my knowledge, you have more to learn from me?"

Stiffening slightly she countered," I didn't do anything deliberately. They just tumbled over. Umm, I kept seeing a giant ice wall, is that your mental shield?"

"So it looks like a wall of ice. I hope it is freezing cold as well."

Tugging at his hair, making him wince slightly, she ignored that comment and said," You knew about Professor Lupin, didn't you?"

Chuckling and rubbing his face on her chest for good measure, he propped his head upon his elbow and looked down at her," You will be the death of me one of these days. What you can't see, you make your big brain run over the clue, again and again, to come up with plausible conclusions. Yes, I knew about him being a descendant of a powerful magical family. And know I didn't think I should say or do anything about it. I was neck-deep among death eaters, I could blow up my cover, could I?"

She shook her head understandingly. "But you told him that night after he came back to you with more questions, didn't you?"

Playing with a few strands of her chestnut hair, he heaved a long sigh," I did. I had to. It was the right thing to do. After he nearly attacked me in the Shack during our 6th year, he had tried hard to apologize. But the Slytherins were watching me closely. I had to ignore him. Remus and I have… Had a strange friendship. After Lily's death, he contacted me and told me about Sirius Black. I had doubts about Pettigrew's death... Hermione?"

"Yes?"

"I would like to tell you a lot of things. I have managed to handle so much all by myself, but I don't think I have any strength left to see through this war. I wanted to die. But then you came in. And suddenly, I am looking forward to living a life. Actually, I am making an effort to enjoy it. I think, in a way, I am asking you to help me?"

Hermione had smiled back at him and patted over her chest, inviting him to lay on it once again. Snuggling into her warmth, he hummed to himself." I think you are trying to tell me to be right next to you. And I know from where all this is coming. You miss Dumbledore, Harry's mom, or what little friendship you had with her, you miss Remus as well, and now that they are no more…" squeezing her tight, blinking away his tears, he whispered over her heart," I need you."

Huffing, trying to think something funny and endearing, she murmured back," Crooks was a smart boy." He was already half asleep but he had to always have the last say," I can safely say, I am smarter than a cat the size of my boots."

It was much later that Ginny Malfoy had cast the Silencio spell over her ceiling, on her walls, and on her door. And after doing that, she had gone back to sitting on the floor of her familiar bedroom and cried her heart out. She had heard the other couple. It was gross but she couldn't bring herself to put the spell soon enough. Their moans and jostling made her crave for him instead. And she kept cursing herself for not looking at him while they sealed their bind. She wanted to see his face, watch over those eyes to grow dark with passion, enjoy the way he would spasm and heave and grunt. What would it be like having the power to make Draco Malfoy go down on his knees?

Everything seemed so empty and not for one single moment could she envision Harry. It did start with a mop of unkempt hair, but the blackness dulled away into stark platinum blonde and right below those fringes, his stormy eyes kept looking back at her, pleading to heed to his crying heart.

How damaged was he? How far desperate was he, that he could not even stop a second to think before jabbing the burning wood on his dark mark? This was madness, but then he seriously didn't wish to kill himself. No, or else he would have...Shaking her head she decided not to think about the alternate consequences. She hated it. At first, she hated the fact that she could no longer think of Harry. Then, it turned into utter torture because now, she just could not stop thinking about Draco Malfoy. It was not just due to the bond that she felt remorseful. She felt degraded by her own selfishness.

And above everything, he wanted her to believe him. Someone who had always been a blood traitor to him, was supposed to believe that he had grown out of his snobbish act? Perhaps, it was true. He was as damaged by this war, like everyone else. Maybe Astoria's words made sense. But she expected Malfoy to throw a feat. Call the Auror department and the Ministry officials and point the blaming pale finger at her. Yell on top of his voice, blaming her for everything. Instead, he just asked George to take her away. Just like that.

Did she want to go back and ask him the reason behind all of this? But for once in her life, Ginny could not put it in words what she was going to say to him. And there was another dread slowly rearing its head up. What if he decided to end his life, all alone? But he couldn't afford to do that could he? This bond would not allow him to. Glancing back at the ring, she watched the rays of the afternoon sun reflect over the small red stones and whispered," Who are you, Draco Malfoy?"

Her words had reached him. Never for once did she stop asking that question. But things were raw and too overwhelming. On one hand, he wanted to rush to wherever she was and hug her close. He desired to see his reflection burning in her lovely eyes. He wanted to paint the world with shades of red. Even though the morning looked reddish, the orb of the sun which crept up was pinkish and the orangish sky was red. George Weasley's hair and his t-shirt which were two shades away from her unique reddish waves of curls. Throwing the covers off, he padded down to his workshop ignoring those nasty looks Dorsie gave him from the kitchen. He would deal with her shortly.

As he sat on his work table, he studied his ring finger. He felt her guilt roar in his ears. He felt those constant flowing streams of tears too. But Ginny would have to come to him all by herself. All he had to do was wait. He could bring himself up to look at her after he woke up. It was already too difficult to exist, under her scornful gaze. He could not stay alive in the shadows of her pity.

Shaking those depressing thoughts, he wondered about his Godfather and laughed hard. Granger suited him like a well-fitted glove. When he had sat down to work on her necklace, he had rolled his eyes thinking it would land in the flames of the fireplace eventually. Though the way Snape countered both Shacklebolt and his own cross-questioning, was satisfyingly odd. He had been possessive about her. He demands that people were respecting her enough. Well, that was new. Bringing out the pouch from the drawer next to his working table, he carefully emptied its content over the board.

There were two vials in it. But his eyes hovered over just one of them. He could feel the familiar pull of Snape's magic radiating from it. This strain of magic had been along with him since he could remember. It was the protection of a guarding godfather. Even then the primary ingredient of the vial was blood itself. Pure and fresh, perhaps the glass container carried a permanent stasis charm. Carefully uncorking the mix, he dropped the contents inside four crystal-like substances. One would go and join those several small pendants around his godfather's neck. One would most likely belong to Potter. The third one he wanted to give to Fleur Weasley when the time came. But the last one, he wanted to keep for himself. Whispering under his breath, for the first time that day, Draco Malfoy smiled to himself, "And little one you must have a brother of your own kind to fall back to."