Clarke sat up in bed, raking her fingers through her tangle of hair in a vain attempt to tame the wild curls. She'd fallen into an easy, deep sleep after Bellamy had left, relief fueling her exhaustion and relaxation. Now, she was well rested and feeling at peace, both with herself and the world.

Raven was nowhere to be found, but Octavia and Harper were lounging in their dorm, eating Ritz crackers and quizzing each other on history terminology.

"Hey Clarke," Harper said when Clarke let herself in.

"How come you don't look like shit?" Octavia questioned critically. The bags under her eyes matched the color of her hair, making her look a bit like a raccoon.

"I stayed sober," Clarke said, somewhat smugly as Octavia glowered.

"You're smarter than me, then," Harper said, shifting the textbook in her lap.

"Or lamer."

"Is lamer even a word?"

"Pretty sure it's a bus company," Harper interjected

"I dunno. But if it isn't a word, I just made it one, specifically so I can apply it to you."

Clarke slid down beside them. "Thanks, Octavia."

"Sure thing. Now, what do you know about the-" Octavia leaned over and read the header of the page in Harper's lap. "Technological and Environmental Advances from 10,000 BCE to 600 BCE?"

Clarke snacked on crackers and talked with her friends for thirty minutes, sometimes about history, but mostly about random things, like Monty's obsession with hydroponic farming or the spot of mold growing in the corner of the shower.

Her phone chimed with a text from Bellamy.

B: You home? I have a little something for you.

C: Alexander! Yes, I'm here. :)

B: Alright, see you in 5.

Clarke smiled to herself and two minutes later, excused herself from the 'study' session to use the bathroom, making sure to lock the door behind her.

Bellamy signalled his arrival a moment later with a soft knock.

"Come in," Clarke called softly, cracking a grin as he poked his head through the door and whispered,

"Is Raven here?"

"No, I don't know where she is, actually."

"Okay, good," Bellamy came all the way into the dorm, holding something behind his back. He looked like a goofy Santa Claus as he glanced around the dorm room, ensuring that he wasn't going to be spotted in the act of delivering his gift.

"She's not here, you dork!" She was a bit worried about the nature of this gift if Bellamy had to be so secretive about it, but more than that, she was curious.

"Just double checking." He gave Clarke a lopsided grin and produced a square box wrapped in a plastic bag. Clarke raised a brow, amused at the way he'd tied the handle so they stuck up in a little bow on top.

"Admiring my wrapping skills?"

"Yes, very impressive,"

"Thank you. Had to improvise, you know. Who brings gift wrap to college?"

Clarke shrugged, wondering what Bellamy could have possibly gotten her.

"Now, this isn't meant to be a serious gift, so don't get your hopes up," he warned.

"Okay…"

Bellamy grinned and tossed the package to her. Clarke caught it lightly, guessing it's contents were not fragile. She looked up at him and he nodded.

"Go on, open it. I think you'll love it."

"You know my birthday's not for another month, right?" Clarke said, undoing the plastic bow.

"I know, October eleventh. But this is more of a congratulatory gift."

Clarke was warmed at the knowledge that Bellamy had remembered her birthday. She slid the bag from the gift and turned it around, recognising the product immediately.

Whatever she had been expecting from Bellamy, it certainly wasn't a box of tampons. She gave him a curious look and he chuckled, running his hand along his neck like he did so often. He looked easy and relaxed with his elbow bent beside his head, showing off his arm…

"So you like it?"

Clarke blinked, diverting her gaze and flushing. "Uh yes?"

"I wanted to get you something practical, and I figured, since the tests were negative, you'd be needing those."

"You know..." she didn't continue her sentence, too caught up in the somewhat surreal intimacy of Bellamy buying her tampons, even if it was meant as more of a gag gift.

He looked expectantly at her, so Clarke let loose her fond smile.

"Thank you, Bellamy. That was very thoughtful of you."

"My pleasure," he bowed, smiling goofily.

"I'll be sure to put these to good use," Clarke said, then grimaced. Bellamy only laughed though.

"Anyway, text me later? I've got to get back. Miller couldn't believe it when I told him I've never played Call of Duty: Warzone."

"What's that?"

"Dunno, but I guess I'm gonna go find out," Bellamy shrugged.

"Huh. Have fun. I've got to get back to helping your sister study for her World History Class."

"Uhg, I love history. Wanna go play Call of Duty with Murphy and I can stay here?" Bellamy whined, hanging on the door handle.

"Absolutely not. And you would like history, you big dork," Bellamy stuck his tongue out at Clarke as he swung the door open. "Go play video games like a normal college boy!"

"See ya later, Princess."

"Bye, Paris."

The door clicked shut and Clarke looked down at the box in her hands, smiling faintly at Bellamy's thoughtfulness. She truly didn't deserve his friendship.

Just as Clarke shut the cabinet door after putting the tampons away, there was another knock at the door.

Clarke's chest jumped and she didn't try to hide her grin as she swung the door open again.

"What? Did you forget to give me-" Clarke's sentence dried up on her tongue when she realized, with much embarrassment, that it was, in fact, not Bellamy standing at the threshold.

Lexa gave Clarke an odd look before holding out a glass bowl of soup as explanation.

"Sorry!" Clarke quickly apologized, cursing herself as she stepped aside to let Lexa into her room.

"You're fine," Lexa said, glancing around the space. "Were you expecting someone?"

"No…not really." Clarke tried to sound offhand to avoid sounding sheepish and the fact that she had been a teensy bit disappointed not to see Bellamy waiting for her instead.

"So what brings you by? I gave you back your phone charger, didn't I?"

Lexa smiled at Clarke like one might smile at a child who'd gotten a simple math equation wrong. "You gave me my computer cord back, but I didn't know you'd stolen my phone charger too."

Clarke shook her head, "Sorry! Computer cord, right."

"And the soup." Lexa held up the container for a second time. "But you seem to be feeling much better now."

"Oh yes, I am." Clarke nodded, accepting the hot bowl from Lexa. "Thank you for this, though. I could always use a free meal," Clarke chuckled, trying the relatable broke college student approach.

Lexa's tight-lipped smile betrayed her lack of amusement.

"Not that I don't appreciate it! It's more about the gesture than the actual food. And that was a nice gesture! You're a good friend, Lexa." Clarke fumbled through her sentence. Lexa had a sort of commanding presence, and right now, Clarke couldn't help but feel like she was failing to impress her.

"No, I get the sincerity, really. And it's not a big deal at all, I needed to make some food for myself anyway, so I just doubled the ingredients and-" she waved to the bowl, which Clarke had set on the desk, "-there ya go."

Clarke smiled for lack of anything to say.

Lexa though, continued on with the overly concerned friend facade. "What was wrong this morning, then?"

"I- no. It's a really long story." Clarke rubbed her brow, growing more uneasy by the second from this impromptu interrogation.

"I've got time," Lexa said, sitting down in Raven's desk chair. Clarke suppressed a sharp retort, wondering if Lexa was somehow oblivious to her obvious reluctance to speak about the topic.

One look at her friend's imploring gaze shut down that thought. Her eyes held a searching look, one that went quite a bit beyond general curiosity about Clarke's temporary ailment.

"Really, Lexa. It's… a bit of a personal matter," Clarke hedged, breaking off eye contact.

"What's it have to do with that Bellamy character? He seems like a real tool."

Clarke's head snapped up as she felt her gaze narrow. It was one thing to worry about a friend, but another thing entirely to start slinging insults. And there was something about the tone of Lexa's voice when she said it, a sharp accusatory edge.

"Bellamy is my best friend," Clarke said easily, "Probably the nicest guy I've ever met, actually."

Lexa scoffed, then looked bewildered when Clarke glared at her. "Seriously?"

"Yes, seriously," Clarke said cooly.

Lexa shook her head as if in disbelief. "Can't say I share the opinion."

"He was having a rough morning, too," Clarke said in Bellamy's defense.

That made Lexa pause and raise a brow. Clarke stood firm, not willing to relent and make some false admission that Bellamy was actually a jackass.

"Anyway, I didn't come here to talk about boys," Lexa said, pushing herself to her feet.

"You came to give me some soup," Clarke replied.

"Yeah, soup. And I wanted to ask you out on a date."

Clarke blinked. Lexa stared at her with that weird intensity.

"A… date?"

"Yes, Clarke. A date. Dinner, movie, you know? Or if that's not your style we could get drinks or hell, go on a walk by the river. Whatever you want."

Clarke was taken aback, to say the least. "Well, I uh-"

"Oh, don't you dare tell me you're dating that idiot!" Lexa muttered, growing impatient.

"Bellamy? No!"

"Oh God." Lexa swiped a hand down her face. "Now you're going to tell me you're not into girls."

Clarke was floundering. A relative inexperience with dating combined with a newfound distrust of those harboring romantic interest dried her words up on her tongue.

"Well, I don't know," Clarke started. "I've never really-"

"You know what? I'm sorry." Lexa took a large step back and held up her hands. "I knew I shouldn't have asked."

"No! No, Lexa. Don't feel bad," Clarke hurried to say, feeling guilty now as Lexa was clearly wounded by her lack of a definitive response. "I'm not in a place right now to be dating anyone, okay?"

Lexa scoffed again before muttering under her breath, "Yeah, I'll be sure to pass that along to Bellamy."

Clarke pretended she didn't hear in order to avoid any more conflict. "Can we revisit this in a couple of months, maybe?"

Lexa huffed a sigh. "Sure, Clarke. Whatever you'd like."

"Thank you."

"I gotta head out." Lexa made for the door.

"Thanks for the soup!" Clarke called after her, but the door closed before Lexa replied.

Clarke stood for a moment in the silence, processing what had just happened. Had she really just been asked out on a date by Lexa? It seemed sort of… out of the blue to Clarke. Where was the build up? Where was the inkling that Lexa was even interested in her?

Clarke considered for a moment what her answer would have been if not for the events of the morning. She was still so shaken up, emotionally spent, that it just wasn't a good time for much of anything really.

And a relationship? That was off the table right now as far as Clarke was concerned.

But, if not for Finn, if her college year had just gone normally, would she have said yes?

Clarke chewed her lip as she realized.

No. She would have said no.

How could she date anyone with the way Bellamy was making her feel right now?

Clarke was laughing so hard she was doubled over after another half hour talking with Harper and Octavia. She had returned to the adjoining dorm a few minutes after Lexa left, leaving it up to her friends to lighten her mood back up. Clarke had opted not to tell them about what had just transpired with Lexa, because then she would have to get into the reasons she declined her invitation, and how could she do that without talking about Finn or Bellamy? Both of them were off limits as far as Clarke was concerned.

"You can't be serious!" Harper wheezed.

"I am! I almost got expelled!"

A cough made a fourth voice known to the room. Sometime over the past minute, Raven had materialized in the doorway. All three girls glanced up at her, Clarke sobering quickly at the expression on her roommates face. Harper was still in a fit about the story Octavia had been telling them and didn't seem to notice the dark look on Raven's face.

"Oh my gosh, Raven! Octavia, you have to retell that one to Raven! She'll laugh so hard!" Harper wiped at her watery eyes.

"Maybe later," Raven said dismissively, staring at Clarke.

"C'mon! You don't want to hear how Octavia nearly killed her Spanish teacher in tenth grade?"

"I did not nearly kill him! All I did was cut open his chin," Octavia clarified.

"Yeah, later. Clarke, can I talk to you?"

Clarke felt herself chill as she slowly nodded, and stood, her legs stiff from sitting on the floor.

"I was surprised when blood came out of the cut. I was expecting gelatinous goo, that poor bastard was rounder than an overfilled jelly doughnut."

"Octavia!" Harper cackled and Octavia snorted.

Clarke closed the door behind her and followed Raven into their side of the dorm apprehensively. Raven's expression made Clarke's mind start racing with possibilities about the forthcoming conversation.

"What's wrong, Raven?"

The dark hair girl only looked stared back at Clarke for a moment, then shook her head. "What's wrong with you, Clarke?"

Clarke faltered. "Huh?"

"You might fool the rest of them with that 'stomach problems' bullshit, but I know something is going on with you." Raven crossed her arms over her chest. Despite her slender frame, she looked downright formidable. Her posture made Clarke shrink back like a struck dog.

"I-uh, don't know what you mean," Clarke stuttered, her voice light. Her pulse was racing beneath her skin and she felt like she was going to sweat through her shirt.

"Cut the crap," Raven said harshly. "I know what's going on, Clarke. Why don't you just save it and tell me straight."

How could Raven possibly know? Had Finn told her? She couldn't have possibly figured it out for herself, right?

Raven took Clarke's panicked silence as a refusal to her request and spun on her heel, flinging open her desk drawer and pulling out a plastic bag. She strode over to Clarke and shook the bag, causing it's contents to come clattering out onto the wood.

The pregnancy tests.

Clarke stared at them, scarcely able to breath.

"Clarke," Raven's voice was softer now, enticing Clarke to look up to her friend's eyes. "You should have told me."

"I- I couldn't, Raven," Clarke mumbled, feeling on the verge of tears yet again.

"I wouldn't have judged you," Raven said, opening her arms to Clarke, her hardass act clearly over. "I know you just met Bellamy a few weeks ago, but one thing leads to another and…well."

Clarke pulled back abruptly.

Raven didn't know, not about Finn at least, and Clarke didn't know if it was a good thing or a terrible thing. She felt sickeningly relieved that her secret was still safe, but if Raven had figured it out on her own, then Clarke was spared from having to tell Raven herself.

"It's okay, Clarke." Raven mistook her hesitation. "They're negative, so no need to get all worked up. I won't tell Octavia. She'll never have to know that her brother almost knocked up her roommate." Raven chuckled, but her face fell as Clarke whispered,

"It wasn't Bellamy."

"What?"

Clarke shook her head, gathering up the tests, squeezing them until her knuckles blanched.

"It wasn't Bellamy," Clarke repeated, unable to look Raven in the eye.

"Who was it then?" Raven asked like she didn't want to hear the answer.

Clarke swallowed. They stood in electric silence for a moment. She could tell Raven everything. Right now. She could get it off her chest and put this whole nightmare behind her.

"You won't tell me, will you?" Raven said tersely. Clarke didn't move. "You won't tell me, because I already know who it is. You won't tell me, but I know who will."

Clarke trembled involuntarily. Every part of her screamed to tell Raven the truth, to explain that it wasn't what she thought, that she hadn't just had casual sex with Raven's boyfriend, that she hadn't willingly participated in the act.

"Damnit Clarke!" Raven yelled, slamming her hands down on the desk. The shock of her outburst was enough to make Clarke look up and meet Raven's angonized gaze. Her eyes were tortured and her lips were curled back like a feral cat, her white teeth gleaming. Something about fresh anguish dehumanized people, made them more like animals who felt only in the abstract of emotion.

"You don't even have the decency to tell me," Raven scoffed, rising up to her full height, making Clarke duck her head away.

"Unbelievable," Raven muttered.

For one more heart wrenching moment, Raven glared at Clarke with such unrestrained disgust and fury that Clarke nearly cried out.

"It's not like that-" Clarke fumbled desperately.

Raven threw up her hands, wordlessly cutting Clarke off before she whipped around and slammed the door behind her. The reverberation echoed throughout the room as Clarke slid to the floor.

Her mind was blank as she stared at a string coming loose from Raven's quilt, wavering slightly in the airflow from the vent in the wall. A sick feeling twisted in Clarke's stomach, winding up and constricting her lungs until she felt like she could hardly inhale.

Had she just ruined her friendship with Raven?

One thought shoved it's way to the surface of her muddled mind; if Raven went and confronted Finn, what would Finn say?

Would Finn hurt Raven?

AN_

Okay, please don't kill me, but I promise (spoiler alert) that Clarke tells Raven in the next chapter. I just didn't want to combine this chapter with the next one or I think it would be a bit overwhelming.

Anyhow, how is everyone? It's already September, which is CRAZY. Summer flew by this year, which is so weird because basically all I did the past three months was work. I started online college last week, and it's been an adjustment for sure. I wish everyone who is in school the best of luck, and I hope you can make the most out of whatever your school year is going to look like.

Stay safe and healthy, and, as always, thanks for reading!

-Birch66724