whoa hey dudes and dudettes another chapter up today! :D

Capter 28: Ghosts

I drove the pickup out to Tech Square. Of course, before I got there I'd dragged Hex's ice cold, dead body out of the cab and gave him a buneral out in the desert.

"Here lies Hex," I said, biting my lip to keep from crying but it was no use, "best shaman that ever lived. Never hit me with his staff. Never made fun of how huge my sword is. Despite all his knowledge, he died just a rat in a cage. R-RIP."

My tears flowed onto the cactus I placed on his grave because I didn't have any flowers, but my tears caused a beautiful red blossom to bloom. The coyote beside me howled in sorrow and sadness, and I pulled myself away from Hex's graveside and back into the truck. I had to save Dexter, not just for Dexter, but for Hex too - otherwise his death will have been in vain.

I got uot of the truck, it was the middle of the night but I could hear Mandark screaming from within Mandark Industries. I took off my shoe and pelted it at the ugly eyesore of a building.

"KEEP IT DOWN YOU LITTLE BITCH PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP!" I shouted, but he didn't stop scream.

Sighing in irritation, I left him to his night terrors and continued into Declabs. I pushed my way past the new Dexbot that was there

"HEWAWAWA PIZZA TOPPING" it said it must've been a "refurbished" one.

"OUTTA MY WAY PRICK!" I shuoted and pushed it into the waterfall again, it thus shirted out once more (robot double-death).

I barged into the lab, Detxer was nowhere to be found... and all the lights were off. "Where could he be?" I asked.

"Wind." said a voice behind me.

"ACK!" I shrieked and jumped and turned ouroung! There was Computress, she was floating behind me and her eyes were illuminating the room with green, like a phosphoric fart. "Oh its you computress!"

"Never mind that," said computress in her monotone computer voice, "Wind, I need your assistance urgently. I eblieve there is something very wrong with Sir Dexter."

"Yeah I know," I said, "he's being possessed by a ghost. I got Hex's sytaff I'm here to cure him."

"Ghost?" Computress asked and beeped a couple times. "That does not compute, ghosts are not real."

"YES THEY ARE!" i shouted. "I KNOW WHAT I'VE SEEN THAT WAS A FREAKING SPIRIT THAT CAME OUT OF DEXTER'S BODY TO BACKTALK ME!"

"ghosts do not exist Wind" Computress said steadfastly. "Science disproves their existence."

"ugh whatever" I said. I couldn't argue with Computress, she was a living computer after all, so of course she didn't believe in ghosts. That was okay I couldn't hold it against her. "Can you take me to Dexter Computress? So I can save him?"

"Of course Wind" Computress said sweetly, and hovered off into the hallway, I followed her.

In was dark... and cold. And it smelled bad. Like a gopher, getting caught in a car engine. If I lestened closely I could hear the gopher arguing with the driver. What had happened to Dexlabs while Decter and I were split up? It seemed like he was running the place into the ground... like he had no idea what he was doing.

There were corn crops planted in the hallway as we passed. "What in the fock?" I asked.

"Sir Decter has been planting corn to feed the troops" said Computress "he is quite good at it I do declare"

"Dexter's always hated gardening..." I said as we passed. "hates getting dirt under his fingurnails..."

Finally we reached a pair of vaulted doors. Computress inputted a code into the keypad beside the vaulted doors and Mako said "Code accepted." The vaulteddoors opened and there was Dexter, he was sleeping on a bag of mulch since this was the botany wing.
"Dectar!" I exclaimed quietly, because Computess put her arm out in front of me.

"Quiet Wind," she said, "you will need to approach him silently."

"Er, right, of course." I said, just like Hex.

This wasn't going to go well.

Like a crane, I crept up to Decter silently, and stood behind him (he was lying on his side.) I swept Hex's cane over his body and chanted lowly. "Oh, great spirits of the canyons beyond this silicon city, cleanse my boyfriend of the evil ghost that plagues him - strip it from his body like the parasite that it is!"

Suddenly Decter turned over and grabbed the staff. "Shut up, Wind."

He yanked the staff and threw me across the room. I hit the wall and slid down like gak. "I heard you and Computrress come in. You won't be removing me from this body so easily."

I looked up. Decter's eyes were glowing red. "H-Holy fock?!"

Then, with a battlecry Decter lunged at me and I got up and dodged, he slammed into the wall clumsy ghost... "COMPUTRESS HELP ME OUT HERE!" I shouted!

"What would you like me to do Wind." she asked. Ugh this was no time to be polite!

But Mandark's screaming came in through the open window again. "DANG IT MANDARK" I screamed out of it, shaking my fist, "HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO SHUT UP BEFORE IT GETS THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL YOU REALLY ARE AN IDIOT DESPITE PUFFING YOURSELF UP AS A GENIUS!"

but the screaming never stopped. "Ha ha ha," laughed Decter, "he won't stop screaming anytime soon."

"Ughseriously?!" I asked clamping my hands over my ears. Madnark's scream was like fingernails down a blackboard good grief. "Yes," said Dexter, "i have him strapped to a torture device, I got it as an idea from the host, he will die in approximately one hour."

"wait WHAT?!" I ased! "THAT'S HORRIFIC YOU SON OF A BITCH! FREE HIM RIGHT NOW! HE MIGHT BE STUPID BUT THAT'S NO REASON TO KILL HIM YOU PSYCHO!"

"NEVER" Dexter said in a real deep scary voice because the ghost thought I was referring to freeing Decter. He zipped across the room really fast since ghost, and grabbed me by the neck! "YOU HAVE GOTTEN ON MY NERVES FOR THE LAST TIME MS. WALTER. TONIGHT YOU WILL PERISH."

Computress opened the window. "Wind, now." she said!

I grabbed Decter's teeny-tiny waist and flipped him over and out the window, he screamed real deep and menacing as he fell. My neck cracked because he was still holding on as he went out the window and now my head was stuck facing the ceiling. "Ouch, this kinda hurts..."

"We will get you medical attention soon," said Computress, "but right now we need to go outside to the waterfall."

So we went out. There in the water, under the waterfall, was the robot I pushed when I got here, and the rusted body of the one I pushed previously. and a few feet away from them was Decter's corpse, laying face down in the water.

"DECTER?!" I screamed, and knelt down beside him, soaking my skirt but he was more important than fashion okay?!

Suddenly a bluish mist erupted from his back, and floated on the grass netx to us. Dexter pushed himself out of the water and let out a loud gasp!

"Dexter! You're alive!" I said and started crying.

"Wind!" he said, and embraced me, and we kissed in reunion. Computress wiped away a robo-tear as she watched us.

We turned to face the mist - it had now materialized into the shape of a man. An old man. "Forgive me for possessing your boyfriend, Wind," he said as he took his hat off in condolences, his voice was high-pitched and funny. "I just wasn't ready to leave the living world yet. I was upset and afraid."

"Who are you, sir?" I asked.

"My name is Eustace Bagge, I was the sole victim of the moon crash x days ago, along with my truck."

"oh Mr. Bagge, I'm so sorry we couldn't save you!" I said wearily. "I wanted to, but couldn't reach you in time!"

"That is alright. My time was up anyway," said Eustace's ghost, "and now, I must leave. It's time I face what's waiting for me... whether I like it or not." he turned to a portal that opened up beside him, it was red inside and there were flames everywhere and we could hear deep laughter coming through it. well I guess we know where he's headed. "Well, I'm not sure what else I expected. Goodbye, Wind," he said before stepping through, "I enjoyed making love to you." and then he walked through and it closed.

"WHAT WHAT DOES HE MEAN HE ENJOYED MAKING LOVE TO ME?!" I asked, and turned to Dexter who was still in my arms. "WHAT IS THE LAST THING YOU REMEMBER?!"

"Uh... didn't I just visit the bathroom?" asked Decter.

"WHICH BATHROOM?!"

"... the one at Prividence?"

"oh shit..." I said in shock. this really did explain everything. Dexter's weird behavior. His odd eating habits. His constant horniness. He had been possessed by a sex-starved geriatric farmer this whole time.

"Wind... I'm so sorry you had to go through that," said Dexter in my arms.

"What?!" I asked. "You;re the one who was possessed! I'm sorry I didn't pick up on the signs sooner!"

"That's okay Wind!" Dexter said, smiling weakly. "I'm just happy... you came back for me..." and then he fainted in my arms guy's been through a lot lately.

"DEXTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!" I screamed into the night.

"He's alright Wind, just comatose," said Computress setting one hand on my shoulder and the other on Dexter's forehead. "We need to get him to the hospital. But first we need to save Mandark from whatever diabolical Rube Goldberg trap Eustace put him in."

"Yikes!" I said carefully dragging Dexter to shore. "Yeah, we better not leave him hanging!"

So we put Dexter in the Dexlabs van and ran over to Mandark Industries, Mandark himself was strapped to a table with a laser slowly cutting up the middle, it was inches INCHES I TELL YOU away from slicing into his Mandork. I tried helping him off the table but he too was very frightened and fainted immediately and crumpled to the floor in a heap. Or maybe that's because his femurs were missing? Anyhoo, we left him there because he's Mandark and because he wasn't in danger anymore he could take care of himself, hurried over to the van to drive Dexter to the hospital... again.

Except when we got there he was gone! "Where did he go?!" I asked Computress. "He was friggin' unconscious! He couldn't have just waled away!"

"Look," said Computress, she pointed to the sidewalk. There were drag marks leading away from the van.

"GASP!" I said scared! "DEXTER'S BEEN KIDNAPPED!"