Day 72
It was like the world hadn't ended. It felt like a peaceful Sunday morning, soft light pouring into the bedroom, silence, peace. Daryl's chest against my back, his slow breathing tickling my neck. It was like the world hadn't ended, except that no Sunday morning had ever felt that good before that. Was it even Sunday? Not that it'd matter anyway. At this moment I didn't permit any memory from yesterday invade my brain. I didn't allow any worry about the future to barge into our bed. Now, it was just us.
I guess he woke up at the same moment I did, because he moved them, hugging me tighter to his chest and whispered "Hey…"
"Morning," I whispered back as I turned my head to get closer to him and he gave me a long kiss on my cheek. "I can easily get used to wake up like this…"
"Damn right," and he pulled my hips to him so I could feel his erection against my ass. "Wanted to be inside you last night," he moved his hip against me, his cock sliding up on my skin and my body responded to him immediately, "Wanna be inside you…"
I only positioned myself better as an answer, letting him find my entrance. He stayed there though, his enlarged head teasing me but not going anywhere.
"Tell me you want it," he whispered into my ear a moment before licking it, a chill running all over my body at that.
"I want it, Daryl..."
He was kissing my neck now, "What'd you want?"
"You… I want you inside me," and I tried taking him in by pushing against him but he still held me at bay. Oh, he liked games, then… Interesting.
"Lemme see how much you want it," he teased before sliding his hand from my hip to between my legs. "Fuck, so wet…"
"I am… I want you Daryl," and I moaned breathlessly because now he was moving two fingers over my clit. "Please…"
"Damn, Sam…" and he pushed in just a bit, only the head, and stopped.
"No, don't stop, please!"
"You so fucking hot pleading like this," he sped up his fingers on me, my desire rising with it. God I wanted him…
"Fuck me Daryl… Please fuck me."
He laughed softly in my ear, "Nah, wanna to hear you like this a bit more…"
"Fuck, you're killing me…"
"Got any idea how fuckin' hot you are?"
"Ya think I'm hot? You're so hard for me," he entered me a bit more at that, suddenly and strong, making me "Oh fuck yes!" but took it out again.
"Fuck, you want it bad don't you?"
"You know I do… I know you want it to, please love just fuck me!"
He did so suddenly that I cried out as he pushed in fully, holding my hip flush against him, his fingers buried on my skin, his other arm pillowing my head curved to hold my hair tight and he groaned into my ear. He fucked me so good then, his rhythm never faltering, moaning and hissing behind me, his fingers making my clit sing in pleasure.
"Tell me… Tell me Sam…" he said in my year and I didn't know exactly what he wanted me to say, so I went for what I was feeling.
"I want you so much Daryl… I want you all the time. I want it all with you. All, all of you."
"You got me, darling,"
I reached an arm back to hug his head against me and turned my head to look at him from over my shoulder, "Then say it… Tell me you're mine," I asked him, a sudden need to listen to those words, to know this was my man.
He raised his pace, breathing hard in pleasure, his eyes locked on mine, and moaned, "I'm yours. You got me. I'm all yours."
"Oh god, Daryl!" and I was coming, those words just adding to the nearly overflowing pleasure, and he came with me, fucking me hard, groaning and moaning against my neck, my name rolling out with it, his hand now still, cupping me and holding me in place as we throbbed together.
It was like the world hadn't ended. It was like it was just starting.
We went downstairs together. Crossbow in hand, knives on our waist bands, my double gun holster back in place. I had missed it, got too used to wearing it before the farm. We stopped right in front of the kitchen entrance. Daryl looked at me, reached out for my hand and gave it a squeeze with a nod and a little smile before leaving the house through the back door. I was smiling when I entered and saw Lori, Andrea, and Maggie in there, staring at me, and I felt like I was in 10th grade when with all my friends seeing me with a boy.
"What?" I asked, avoiding their looks
"Why, nothing, Mrs. Dixon!" Maggie answered smiling
"I thought you said there was nothing there," Andrea quipped.
"There wasn't," I answered as I sat on one unsteady chair by the kitchen table. "Well, I mean… There's always been something, but it not really. Just… There is now."
"We know, honey, we all know well there is something there now," Lori said trying to sound disapproving but still smiling.
I knew they'd heard it.
"Oh god…" I said hiding my head in my hands. "Were we that loud?"
"Not that loud, but well… We heard," Andrea said from across the table as she started beating a bowl of eggs.
"Yeah, you know it's hard to keep quiet when it's really good," Lori said rising her eyebrows at me, and I got that here was a question there, and Andrea and Maggie were looking at me with the same expression.
"I ain't telling!" I laughed and they did too. "Get to your own conclusions by the little you heard."
"Well, he's good then," Andrea said looking at the others as if informing them of her conclusion.
"Hey!" I said throwing dish cloth at her, making her laugh. "You all, stop thinking about my man's penis."
They laughed aloud at that and so did I. Strange sound, something that hadn't been heard for such a long time in this group. And it occurred to me that I was laughing and joking with Andrea, which was even weirder. But it felt good. I liked those women, I just wished Carol was here too, laughing with us, but I knew it would be a long time until she was able to smile again.
This thought sobered me up.
"Did anyone check on Carol?" I asked when we all got silent again.
"I did," Lori told me as she took the bowl of beaten eggs from Andrea. "She's alright, I mean… As alright as anyone can be in her place… She'll just have a lie in."
"Right…" I nodded, looking down. "Let's just let her sleep and rest for as long as she wants. We can stay one more day here, regroup, and then we'll go."
I saw Maggie look down sadly at that. Getting up, I stood facing her and said, "Hey, honey."
"Hey…" she looked at me, her green eyes sad but firm. "Can we talk?"
Nodding, I lead her out of the kitchen and the house. There was an old picnic table on the yard under a tree and we sat there.
"Did you bring those eggs?" I started by asking her.
"I did."
"That's great, thank you Maggie… But you know you didn't have to. After all that happened."
"I know. I wanted to. Worried about you guys."
I was quiet for a moment, thinking. "I'm worried about you guys too. What you watched happening yesterday… Gotta break anyone's heart."
"I think we all made mistakes," Maggie told me. "I don't think you guys acted right in opening the barn and shooting them. Things could have been solved in a more peaceful way. But I also know we were wrong in not telling you about the barn before. If you knew, maybe you could have asked yourselves if Sophia maybe was in there and checked, maybe you'd know the truth a long time ago."
"True… I think I'd have thought of that, but yesterday, during the time we knew before opening it, I didn't. I should have… "
"It's done now," Maggie said shaking her head. "It had to be done, I see it now. After that walker attacked me in the pharmacy and then the way Lou Bush was shot in the chest and kept on going..." Maggie shivered at that. "I know there's no way back. I know there's no cure, and my father's starting to see it too."
"It must be hard to let go of hope like that. And I'm sorry you had to see your loved ones like that."
"I know… It's all wrong. You all, and us. But either way I wished you didn't have to go."
"Too much would have to be different for us to stay, Maggie. We would impose too much. I would have to make changes there and decide things because we've been out there, we've survived out of the haven that farm is for now, and your father hasn't. He can't make the correct decisions in this new reality without having knowledge and experience in it. I didn't want, and I still don't want to impose things to him on his own land. What I need to do is think of my people's safety. They come first, you know? And what I'll say might not sound good, but as he told me himself: there is my people, and there is his people. He's the one who makes the decisions for you, not me."
"You told me before you don't think we're safe."
"Yes, and I reaffirm that. That haven there? Could be gone in a blink of an eye." Maggie looked down at the worn wood of the table and nodded sadly. "I'm sorry about you and Glenn. I know this between you could be more than just a casual thing…"
She looked up at me, lips night but nodding. "Yeah… I like him. Glenn is… He had the gentlest, biggest heart I know. He's just such a good man, and so brave, and I do like him very much."
I smiled, "I know. Glenn is a great guy, you're lucky to have found him, especially in this new world. We all love him and he is crucial part of this group. But Maggie… He's a free man. He can stay if he wants to. We'd all miss him, I'd miss him, but ultimately it would be his decision."
She just nodded, thoughtful, before saying, "I wish you'd stay too, Sam."
"I ain't, Maggie… We ain't staying. Too much has happened."
"And it's not safe," she completed my thought.
"Right now, as it is… It ain't safe."
Silent and looking down, she nodded and got up after a moment. "I'll go see Glenn."
She put a hand on my shoulder as she passed me to go back to the house, and I knew we were good, but I'd probably never see her again, not unless many things changed in a day as we stayed or, highly unlikely, she went away with us. Which was a shame because I liked Maggie very much.
Getting up from the picnic table I saw Daryl approach me, as if he'd been waiting for our conversation to be over to come to me. I leaned back on the table and watched him come.
"Alright?" he asked as he stood close to me and I looked up at him.
"Fine… Just setting things straight with Maggie… After what happened."
He nodded with his lip biting before saying, "There're eggs in the kitchen, you should eat."
"I will. Did you eat?"
"Just did. Goin' out hunting, see if I can get you a nice dinner," he paused. "And Lori, she needs it too."
I smiled at how thoughtful he was. "Okay. Still waiting for that veal."
With a little smile he took the last step between us and leaned down to hiss me, holding the crossbow in one hand and cupping my face with the other. I hugged him by his waist and we kissed deeply for a minute of two, and then he let go, lowered his hand to my stomach, resting it on the baby for a moment and planted a quick kiss on my forehead, before turning to go.
I was still lightheaded form his kiss, smiling goofily when I said, "Don't die out there, okay?"
He looked at me over his shoulder saying "I won't," and was gone.
Carol still hadn't come down when we all had breakfast together and I asked if Andrea could go up to bring her some if she was awake. She came down with a full plate saying Carol was still asleep. I helped the others clean the kitchen and organize it a bit because hopefully we'd be cooking some meat later.
When I left the kitchen, I head a mild discussion coming from one of the rooms nearby and followed it. Rich and Shane were there, being watched by a quiet Carl.
"I'm telling you, Rick, been telling you for what feels like years: Fort Benning!"
"You're right you've been saying in for a long time, and nothing ever worked out to get us there," Rick answered him.
"And you know why!"
I asked, "Why, Shane?" from behind him, making him turn startled. He recovered quickly, though.
"Because of the decisions that're being made."
"We've been through this, Shane…"
"No,' he said firmly, "You've been through this. You stated what you thought about it. Not sure who made you the decision maker of this group."
"It ain't a dictatorship, Shane. People can disagree and go a different way if they wish, but you're the only one I see still insisting in Fort Benning."
"Because it's the best way to go!" he yelled and Rick got up from the couch.
"It ain't the best way to go!" I retorted just as firmly. "I told you, you can go if you believe this so much. You can go! But I will not rely in the military. I will not put our lives in the hand of an authority that hasn't done shit for us so far. Nearly three months, Shane, and where the fuck are they? And you want to go looking for them? They all abandoned us to our own luck, so we will make out own luck!"
He was breathing hard, angry like he'd constantly been in the past few days, and stared at me silent for a long moment. I held his gaze, not allowing him to intimidate me. Then he turned to look at Rick, who's been standing there with his hands on his hips.
"How about you? Where do you stand, Rick?"
"I'm with Sam in this, Shane."
Shane nodded shooting Rick the same look he'd given me, and after a moment he stormed out of the room. I looked down, my heart pounding because as much as I was sure I was right, Shane was a big, strong man and that look… There was something in that look that knotted my stomach. I looked up at Rick and nodded at him, thankful. I had Rick on my side now, and I'm sure he had considered every aspect of it, his wife, son, the upcoming baby, and he still was going to stand with me. I was glad.
A minute later I saw Shane leave the house and the area with one of the cars. I asked myself if he'd come back, and if it would make any difference to me.
In the afternoon I left the house alone with my thoughts. People seemed comfortable in this house. It was not great, but it had potential. It was spacious, everyone had found a good place to sleep, Daryl and I had out own bedroom, Lori, Rick and Carl too, the others had been comfortable as well, there were other rooms in the house we could turn into private bedrooms for the others. There was no running water but with the well outside we could make do, we could even flush the toilets with buckets of water, and the old wood stove we'd been able to cook breakfast with was a great asset. We'd need to fix the doors and windows, fortify it, and then there would be the hardest part: surrounding the area with walls. If we managed to do that, maybe we could just stay. I knew people agreed with my plans, but it was evident nobody wanted to be on the road again. I was trying to find ways in my mind to make it not have to happen. Maybe we could keep the Greenes as neighbors and just… Stay.
The thoughts took me to the woods that surrounded the house. If we put down some trees we could use their trunks as walls. It would take a lot of trees and a lot of work, but we could do it. I'd need lots of support from the others and lookouts until the work was done, but it wasn't impossible. There were a few clearings in the area and there was a lot we could do. Build sheds, maybe cabins out there, so everybody wouldn't have to live in the same house.
Crunching leaves under careful steps took me out of my thoughts and I looked around trying to find the source. For a moment I didn't and my hand was already on my knife when Daryl appeared from among the trees, something big hanging from his back and he crossbow half up, ready to take aim. Seeing it was me, he lowered it instantly.
He looked damn hot. Like a caveman bringing the food. He dropped it to the ground and I saw it was a turkey. We'd be having a damn fine diner tonight. But now, I cared more about the way he was looking at me, head to toe and back to my eyes.
"You alone out here?" he asked taking deliberate steps towards me.
"Not anymore," I said as I gave him the same look and damn, wasn't the air charged.
He practically charged at me, surprising the fuck outta me but it was so damn welcome. He kissed me hard as if we'd been apart for weeks and got me all melt from him.
"Got any idea what you doin' to me?" he asked as he kissed down my neck. "Can't stop think' 'bout you. Don't know how I got the turkey, all I could think 'bout was your pussy in my mouth…. And how you scream my name when you're cumin…"
"I know… I want you all the time. Could fuck you all day," and I lowered my hand to cup his cock though his jeans making him hiss and jerk against my hand. "There's no one around," I told him.
He said nothing, just pushed me against the nearest tree and kissed the fuck out of me, his hands everywhere, cupping my breast, my ass, opening my jeans. He lowered it only enough to make room for his hand to slide under my panties and rub his palm there.
"All ready for me…" he groaned in my ear and I started working on his fly. "Turn around".
I did and, as he freed his cock, I lowered my jeans to my knees and bent over, hands on rough tree bark and then, so good, I felt the head of his cock against my entrance.
"Say it?" he asked. He was always gonna ask for permission, I was sure of that. Fuckin hot, adorable man.
"Fuck me Daryl, please –"
I couldn't even finish my plead and he was in, deep and strong, holding me flush to him by my hips. It was a quick, hot and heavy fuck that got us both coming in like five minutes. The arousal of the danger of getting caught added an urgency to it, we both looking around even as we fucked, and it was so fucking good that I thought immediately I wanted more of it. I wanted him in the privacy of our bedroom, on top of his bike, out in the open in the woods, everywhere. I couldn't get enough of Daryl.
I had a secret in my panties as we both walked into the house, Daryl bringing the turkey. His seed was still flowing out of me, I could feel it, and I thought strange how good it felt.
Everyone was happy with the turkey and thanked Daryl for bringing it. He dismissed it, though I thought I saw some satisfaction in his eyes, and went upstairs. I wanted to follow him, keep going, but got distracted noticing Carol was in the kitchen with the others, now discussing with them how they'd prepare it because it was a huge bird and roasting it in the oven would take too long. They were deciding to cut it to pieces and make it fried or maybe a stew when Shane came back to the house. He dropped a plastic bag of pharmaceuticals on the table mumbling something about how he'd found a drugstore out there, and left again.
He was not normal.
Daryl was already sitting in bed, back against the headboard and both legs stretched on the mattress when I entered the bedroom. I'd been cleaning up in with the bucket of water in the bathroom – we'd need to come up with a better bathing solution if we stayed in the house. I closed the door behind me and stood there, looking at him as I tied my dreads up, and only when he asked "What?" I noticed I was smiling.
So I crawled into bed and got close to his face, "You got us turkey. You're a provider, you know that?"
With a pfff me pulled me to sit by his side, an arm circling my back, "Didn't get it for them… Got it for you," and he paused, I said nothing because I didn't believe him. He did care for the others. "Maybe Lori too, and Carol 'cause she's sad…"
At that I smiled up at him, "Right. "Cause you don't care 'bout the others."
"Care 'bout you."
"And not a little about the others?"
"Shut up," and he pushed me to bed, rolling over me making me laugh aloud. "Care more 'bout you than anyone else."
"I know you do…" I said quietly looking up at him, my arms circling his shoulders. "You make me feel it. You're all contained and closed up with the others, but me? I feel it. I feel protected… Cared about."
He was quiet listening to me, and as I said it he slid to the side, propped up on his elbow, and looked down at me. He had a weird look on his face, seemed confused somehow.
"You feel… Protected. With me?"
"I do… You seem surprised."
He cleaned his throat and looked down. "Kinda am…"
"Don't see why. You been protecting me and having my back since the beginning, since D and Owen. Never left my side. I feel that you care for me."
Quiet and still not looking at me, he rested a hand on my stomach and looked at it for a long moment before asking in nearly a whisper, "Did ya mean it?"
His hand on my baby bump told me what he was talking about. I reached for his face and cupped it gently to make him look at me. "I wished it was yours. Still do. So if you tell me you want it… He's yours. I'll be lucky to have a baby with you."
His eyes were suspiciously shinny when he asked me "He?"
I just nodded. I'd been feeling it was a boy. Daryl lowered is head no my chest, his thumb caressing my stomach. Very quietly, he asked "Why?' in such an open, pained voice that I felt my heart swell with love for him.
"Because I see in you all the things they never allowed you to see your whole life," I was holding his head with my both hands. "Because you and I both know exactly how not to treat a child and I know you'll make a great dad," and I hugged his head to me, and kissed his hair, "Because I love you."
His hand froze on me and I suspect he stopped breathing. For a moment he didn't move, but then he raised his head and looked up at me, staring at my eyes.
"I mean it," I said, even though I got nervous. I was sure he cared about me, that he had my back, that he had feelings for me, but come on, I was just a human with a heart and I've just opened it to a guy I'd been dating for what, three days? My heart sped up a bit, afraid of how he was going to react, afraid this would be too much for him. "And I know you have trouble believing yourself worthy, but if you trust me, then please believe me when I say you deserve to be loved. That you'll be a great dad for this boy, and that I love you."
Hand still on the baby, Daryl turned to his side, resting on his elbow, looking at me. "There's stuff you don't know 'bout me."
I lifted an arm to pillow my head, trying to get comfortable. "Wanna tell me?"
He shook his head sadly, "You won't love me…"
"I will. I know you got a troubled past, but I got too. You ain't perfect, but I ain't either. It don't matter to me. This life is what matters, what he got now. I love you for who you are now to me, and all the bad things that you gone through or did before, they are who you are now. My fucked up story makes me who I am today, right? And you like me either way –"
"Love you," he corrected me and my heart nearly exploded. He raised his hand from my stomach to cup my face. "You think I'm worth it? I'll have it, and I'll do all I can to really be."
We made love again that night, the third time that day, but it was different. It was like it was the first time, as if we were rapidly changing out short relationship. It was as if the world hadn't ended; it was just beginning.