Ch 46
Ben
I pulled out from her and then lay next to her on my back. I was a little breathless. I didn't like not feeling connected to her, even physically. It felt so… odd.
I looked over at her and could see her cheeks were still flushed, she was staring at the ceiling.
I moved closer to her and slid my arm under her head. She instinctively put her hand on my chest and turned so she would be closer to me.
Holding her like this felt so freeing, surely our connection couldn't get any better than this. Could it?
"Are you alright sweetheart?" I asked her. I had tried to be gentle, but she could tell I was holding back. I really didn't want to hurt her.
She looked up at me with a sweet smile.
"It was amazing… I didn't that anyone could feel that good" she said as she reached up with her hand and touched my lips. I kissed each one of her fingers softly and with my hand I reached out to the Force to pull the thin sheets up to us.
I felt exhausted.
"I didn't either. You did wonderful Princess, I love you so much" I said as I wrapped my free arm over her. She sighed in contentment and soon after I felt her fall asleep, I lost my own battle to slumber soon after her.
I dreamt that night what most would consider a beautiful dream. Rey and I were making love again.
We were in a large field full of flowers and she was top, riding me at a steady pace. Once we were done we got up and walked towards a stream nearby. She went in first, by gods the sight of her naked drove me wild.
She looked like a goddess. When she came back out her belly had grown significantly. It was strange, it wasn't too big, but it was like a tumor. No other part of her body had gained any weight.
Then she caressed the bump and I could see she was talking to it.
That's when it hit me.
She was pregnant.
I could feel a rage course through
My body and my hand reached out and she began to rise through the air as I choked it.
I could sense the life inside of her and how with every second its mother went without air, his life ended too.
"Ben… please don't do this…" she said with tears in her face, but it was too late.
My choice had already been made.
I woke up breathing heavily. I looked over to my left and saw Rey was still sleeping, in fact she was snoring slightly.
The sight of her so at peace brought a smile to my face. The memories from the night before suddenly coming back to me. How amazing she felt, how we seemed to fit together like puzzle pieces. The electricity that coursed through our bond like that night on Ach-To.
But the dream left me so unsettled. It's not that I didn't want to be a father. Rey is the only person I would even dare to dream about having a family with.
I just wasn't ready to take a step that big. I didn't want to fail my child like my father had failed me, I didn't want to hurt them the way mine had.
I sighed and decided to go into the 'fresher for a shower. After what happened last night I was sure of a few things.
One, Rey and I needed to talk.
Two, we needed to be careful and take precautions, we couldn't afford a *gulp* baby on this mission.
And three, I needed to meditate and take a small trip into town before we talked.
Rey
When I woke up I could feel parts of my body ache that I never thought possible. For one, my thighs were incredibly sore. As I woke up I tried to turn onto my back and that small task was incredibly difficult.
My lady bits were throbbing and they even burned a little bit, kind of like chafing, but I wasn't too surprised about that after last night.
The memory came back to me and I sighed. It was now the second-best night of my life. I suddenly realized Ben wasn't there.
I sat up and I tried to reach out with the Force but he wasn't in the base, so I lowered my mental shields and looked for his mind.
Ben… where are you?
It took a few minutes and part of me got anxious. What if he had left me-
I'll be back in a second, I went into town for some… supplies. I'm almost there.
He cut me off with a kiss in my head and it went silent once more. I sighed suddenly nervous for why he really went into town. I could sense he was hiding something, but I couldn't get behind his walls enough to find out what it was.
I got up and decided to try and take a shower. The walk from the bed to the 'fresher felt eternal, my thighs were making it impossible to even move.
I looked in the mirror over the sink and saw a few small bruises had formed on my neck and my lips were a little swollen. My hair was complete mess, it looked like a bird's nest.
And yet I couldn't help but dwell on how these marks had made it onto my body. I replayed the memory as I showered, wishing he were here with me. I wanted to feel him touch against my skin and his lips on my neck and how excited I would get…
I suddenly sensed he was back, and I quickly finished my shower, hoping he hadn't gotten a peek into what I had been thinking.
I dried off as fast as I could and threw on the sleeping shirt from the night before and walked out of the 'fresher as I dried my hair with the towel.
I could hear Ben in the kitchen making some noise and my stomach growled. I hastily made my way to him and sensing his walls rise as I got closer.