an: hey guys! apologies for the long wait again. i've been chipping away at this fic every now and then but things are starting to open up a bit more here so i've been busy lately! i return to work in the next few weeks so i'll hopefully have another chapter up before i do. i better have another chapter up! xD feel free to yell at me if i don't, it will motivate me to do it
hope you enjoy this one! i really like it uwu
song of this chapter: onerepublic – future looks good
1914
i swear that you are, you are the future
and the future looks good
"How are you doing? Really?"
Roy shot her a smile as he lowered himself down onto the hospital chair outside his room, but his expression quickly changed. He winced in pain, his hand coming to rest upon his injured side. "It hurts." At least he was honest.
Nodding, she sat beside him, angling her body so she was half facing him. His free hand was braced against his knee as he tried to control his breathing, and Riza covered it with her own as a show of comfort.
"I know." Her voice was quiet and subdued. It was a hard concept to grasp, her husband being stabbed. With Roy, with the military, anything was possible, however, it didn't make it easy. She'd already had so many nightmares about losing him lately.
"I can't complain though," he grunted, making himself more comfortable in the chair. Guilt flooded his features, causing Riza to think back to the cause of his turmoil; Havoc's announcement. He was leaving the team and leaving the military. His legs no longer worked. Lust had severed his spinal cord. Havoc would never walk again. Riza's heart broke for him.
"Roy…"
He shook his head. "I can't," he whispered. "I can still walk," he swallowed. "I can't complain." His voice was firm as he shouldered the weight of Havoc's diagnosis.
Riza knew he was blaming himself for it. She squeezed his hand again. There wasn't much she could say to soothe him. Not when she was still reeling from the news too. It was so fresh and felt like a sucker punch to her stomach. It was unfair. The whole situation they'd landed themselves in was unfair, but it had happened. Taking a deep breath, Riza calmed herself as she tried to process the news they'd received.
"You haven't been sleeping." It wasn't a question but a statement. It came out of the blue after they'd lapsed into a quiet moment together.
She'd tried to apply some concealer to underneath her eyes, hiding the darkness residing there, but apparently it hadn't been enough. "No." Riza took a deep breath and let it out in a sigh. She gave his hand another squeeze.
"Tell me about it," he murmured. Slowly, he eased himself back into his chair and turned his palm over, threading his fingers through hers. Roy's hold was tight, and it anchored her. It reminded her that he was alive and breathing. He wasn't going anywhere just yet.
She didn't want to talk about her nightmares. How her worst fears had played out in her head while she was stuck in a state of unconsciousness, forced to watch. They varied from time to time, but all had the same outcome. Riza and Mia arriving outside Roy's hospital room, except he was no longer living.
"Nightmares," she mumbled.
"Tell me." His coaxing was gentle, his eyes filled with concern.
Riza let her breath out sharply. "I'm sure you can guess what they're about." Tears were threatening to spring to her eyes and she didn't want to cry. Not again. Through the night, after waking up was enough. She didn't want to relive that terror right now after she finally got some time alone with him since he'd woken up.
Since both Roy and Havoc had woken up their visiting times had changed. They were now in the afternoon and the evening, from noon to three o'clock and six to eight o'clock. It was a little late for Mia but Riza wouldn't tear her away from her father while he was hurt, and she was worried sick.
Mia had nightmares too. Riza had ran through to her bedroom to find their daughter sobbing in her bed, wailing about how she didn't want her father to die like Uncle Maes had. She just wanted everyone to be okay and to be home. Riza had held her tight, cried silently with her, and never wanted to let her go. Eventually, Mia had exhausted herself back to sleep. Riza carried her through to her parent's bedroom for the rest of the night.
So, Riza didn't particularly want to get into her sleeping problems while they had a private moment together. Mia was Roy's shadow when they visited. She sat on his bed, in between his legs, while she chatted animatedly with Havoc. The two had become fast friends, which pleased Riza. Right now, Mia was asleep. She'd had a busy day at school and tired herself out telling her father and Havoc all about it. She was curled up in Roy's hospital bed while he'd gone for a walk to stretch his legs, at the insistence of Lieutenant Havoc, who'd shot them both a pointed look, urging them to take a moment alone together.
"I'm sorry." Roy sounded miserable as he stared down at their entwined hands.
"You didn't do it on purpose," Riza reminded him.
"No, but I'm still sorry." He swallowed and Riza watched as his Adam's apple bobbed in his throat. "I'm sorry I can't be there."
"It's okay." Riza brushed his fringe out his face and the action caused him to lift his gaze to hers. Sad eyes looked back at her, which she tried to comfort with a soft smile. "You're still here," she emphasised. Her free hand lifted, coming to rest atop his beating heart. "That's what matters right now."
Roy lifted his hand, extracting himself from Riza's hold and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. She was pulled tightly against his side, hugged in close, as her head moved to rest against his chest.
"I love you," he whispered.
"Love you too."
A kiss was pressed against the top of her head and Riza sighed, her eyes fluttering closed as she relished in the comfort he always brought her.
"I'm sure I can guess what your nightmares are about. I think I can guess really well." His hand rubbed up and down her arm. "Do they happen often?"
"Almost every night," she admitted in a whisper.
Roy was silent and still. "All right."
The silence stretched on as Riza forced those horrible memories from her mind.
"Well, I'm up and walking," Roy soothed, his voice even and determined. "The wound won't heal overnight. I'll need to be careful when I go home and will also need to do some form of physical therapy. The doctors seem to think that once I have the hang of everything and can do it correctly then I can do it all at home." He snorted gently. "They said if I slack off I'll have to come back to the hospital for it. I told them that won't be a problem."
"Oh?
Roy nodded. "I'll have you and Mia to whip my ass into shape whenever I'm feeling lazy," he chuckled. Riza felt it vibrate through her cheek. "You two would never let me slack off."
A smile spread across her face. "Damn right," she muttered.
"It will be like boot camp all over again, I'm sure," he joked.
"She'll make sure you do it," Riza reassured him. "I can already picture Mia now, equipped with a whistle, her hands on her hips, and her no nonsense attitude."
Roy laughed, but it quickly turned pained. His hand moved to his injured side again. "She takes after you that way. You put up with none of my shit."
"There's not a lot I have to put up with," she argued gently.
Roy snorted in disbelief.
"Well, not personally anyway," she smiled wryly.
"I suppose I deserved that one, huh?"
She nudged him as gently as she dared. "I'm still here aren't I?"
"You are," he sighed happily, squeezing her tighter against her side in a way that made her grin.
"So you can't be that bad."
"No, I suppose not," he mused quietly.
"I said I'd stand by you through everything and I meant it," Riza reminded him, dropping her light, teasing tone, switching it out for one that was firmer. "I'm not going anywhere."
"Neither am I." He pressed a kiss into the top of her head again. "It will take more than some freakishly long and sharp nails to take me down."
Riza snickered.
"What?" He was confused as to why she was laughing.
"Havoc said something similar after he woke up. A lot more colourful language though. You've been hanging out with him too much, I think," she teased.
Roy groaned, his head tipping back. "Great. Havoc's rubbing off on me. That's all I need," he muttered.
"Be nice," she admonished. "He's a good person. He seems to be Mia's new best friend too."
"Yeah, I noticed that!" His exclamation was one of disbelief. "They're thick as thieves. It's been funny to watch that friendship grow."
"I think it's lovely. He's like an unofficial Uncle."
"To be honest, I think all the team want to be," Roy chuckled. "Every time they come in they ask how she is and if she's been handling everything well. They're worried about her, bless them."
Riza's stomach dropped, thinking back to Mia's nightmare. She hadn't told Roy about that yet. However, she wouldn't ruin this tiny moment of happiness they'd found together. She'd tell him about it later. There was nothing to be done about it either. It was in the past and Mia hadn't had anymore since. Visiting Roy every day helped a lot, so did joking around with Havoc and other members of the team when she was here. She adored them like they really were family to her, and it warmed Riza's heart.
"That's great," Riza smiled, pushing down the tension building in her gut. She willed herself to relax.
"You okay?"
Of course he'd pick up on her slight change.
"I'm fine." Riza pulled away from him. Then, she flinched, but not from any kind of pain. More in fright. That feeling shifted uncomfortably, like her stomach was tumbling inside of her.
"What is it?" Roy pulled away. He winced when he shifted to get a better look at her face.
"Nothing, I –" Her hand flew to her stomach, her shoulders tensing, brow furrowing as she felt –
"Riza?" The hand that had been around her shoulders was gripping one of hers tightly, his eyes begging him to tell her what was happening. He was alarmed, his eyes wide and searching her stomach, as if he were willing himself to see what was happening in there.
But Riza had already realised what was happening. A slow smile spread across her face.
"What?" He was fretting, practically on the edge of his seat.
She extracted the hand from her shoulder and pressed it against her stomach without a word. Roy was silent, his eyes wide as he let her move him. The warmth from his palm spread across her bump and it was instantly comforting.
They were left in silence. As it stretched, Riza began to grow disheartened, praying it would happen again –
Roy gasped as he felt a tiny kick. His head snapped up to face hers. His eyes were wide before with alarm, but now they were filled with wonder. "Was that –?" The baby kicked again, and Roy stopped breathing.
He'd never experienced this with Mia. He hadn't been there to witness the wonder and joy of feeling that movement for the first time. It looked like he was going to burst into tears.
"Was that the baby?" It sounded like he was going to cry too. His voice was thick as he blinked, staring down at her stomach.
"They've come to say hello," Riza grinned. It wasn't an uncomfortable feeling. It was like lots of butterflies in her stomach, fluttering around, as their child moved their tiny legs.
"Oh my god." Tears tracked down his cheeks. Roy placed his other hand on her stomach, so both were covering her bump.
Watching the wonder spread across his face warmed Riza's heart. She'd always wondered what his initial reaction would be when he felt them kicking for the first time. She'd pictured a few different scenarios, but they were nothing compared to the real thing. The love and happiness radiated off of him and it was contagious. It spread to her as he tenderly felt their child moving. This moment would stick with her for the rest of her life, she was sure.
Riza placed her hands atop his, giving them a tight squeeze as she braced herself for more, willing it to happen. She wanted to experience more of his amazement.
"Colonel Mustang – Oh." The poor nurse looked incredibly startled when she saw him crying. "Oh, I – I'm sorry, I'll give you two a few minutes. I'll come back," she stuttered, turning on her heel and retreating back around the corner.
Riza chuckled.
"Do I look that bad?" Roy's voice was husky but as he grinned up at her, it was one of the brightest smiles she'd ever seen.
Riza cupped his cheeks, wiping his tears away with her thumbs. "This is the best you've ever looked."
"What? A sobbing mess?" He laughed lightly, sniffing. A turned his head and pressed a kiss against her wrist.
"Yes," Riza admitted with no shame. "You witnessing this was a beautiful sight."
"This is the first time it's happened?"
Riza nodded.
"Then… Wow." He was incoherent as his eyes wandered back down to his hands where their little one was kicking again. Little flutters filled Riza's stomach as they spoke. They seemed to be excited. It had happened with Mia too, and Rebecca beamed, telling her that Mia obviously loved her Mama a lot and was desperate to say hello.
"I think they like to hear us talk," Riza whispered. She gave the back of his hands a squeeze.
"Then I'll talk to you every day," Roy replied, speaking to her stomach. "I'll tell you all about your sister, your mother and I." He stopped, taking a shaky breath. "All that's happened in the past, how she was a terror as a child and how I was the one she always dragged into trouble."
Riza swatted him gently on the forearm, and he laughed through his tears.
"I love you, Little One," he whispered. "I love you so much."
Their baby kicked back.
"I think they love you too," Riza beamed.
Riza stepped inside the back room of Chris' bar, observing the atmosphere of the place. At one table women were huddled together, speaking quietly, while at another, there was a rowdy group who were laughing at someone's joke. Roy's sisters moved between the tables, joking and serving them drinks. It was like they were all old friends.
Some women were in their military blues too. Riza hadn't expected that. However, if there was an area for the men to be pampered out front, it would have been natural that Chris offered the same for military women too.
The "back room" was so much more than Riza thought it would be. In her head it was much less extravagant than this. She didn't know why. If they were serving people in here it would have to have matched the plush décor in the main bar, however this was so much nicer. There were couches around a currently unlit fireplace. The rest of the bar was a mixture of booths along the wall and tables in the centre. Paintings hung on the wine-red walls, with sconces in between each, casting a light glow over the room. The maroon carpet of the entranceway felt soft underneath Riza's shoes, almost with a light spring to it. Then, the floor turned to well-polished wood. It was spotless. If there had been enough light, Riza was sure it would have been gleaming. It wasn't dim, but it wasn't the brightest either. It felt warm and cosy. Very welcoming. Wistfully, Riza thought how nice it would be to sit on those comfortable couches by the fire in the winter.
"Only the best for us girls," Vanessa winked over her shoulder at her, breaking character for a second while no one could see. "Sit where you like ladies," she dismissed with a wave of her hand, "I'll be over to take your orders in a few minutes." All familiarity was gone from her tone as she left them, walking behind the bar.
They were all acting as if they didn't know her, which was the plan. It was a strange feeling. Normally Vanessa and Roxanne hugged Riza tightly upon greeting, but tonight there was nothing but blank and expectant faces, asking how many were in their party tonight. They would win big at poker, Riza was sure.
"Over there," Rebecca directed. She pointed to a table in the back corner where a woman was sitting by herself. Her drink fizzed in its glass as she stared down at her hands looking lost in thought. Her brown hair was tied back into a ponytail, the ends fanning over the back of her white blouse. A blue military jacket was draped over the back of her chair and a plain leather purse lay beside her drink. She didn't particularly look like a soldier, so Riza wondered if she was more involved in the administrative side.
Sensing people approaching, the woman looked up quickly, causing her glasses to slip down her nose. With a nervous smile, she sat up straighter in her chair.
"Hello, Lieutenant Catalina," she greeted warmly.
"It's Rebecca tonight, Sheska," she winked, taking a seat beside her. "The last thing I want to be reminded of while I'm drinking is work," she laughed lightly.
"Right. Sorry." Sheska was sheepish in her apology. She turned to look at Riza. "Mrs. Mustang, right?" The mousy woman pushed her glasses up her nose and extended her hand to shake.
"Riza," she corrected with a smile.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Riza. My name is Sheska."
"Lovely to meet you too."
"Um, Rebecca has told me a lot about you, Riza," Sheska grinned. "I've been looking forward to meeting you."
"Thank you." Riza shot Rebecca a sideways look. "All good things, I hope."
"Oh yes!" Sheska reassured her before Rebecca could open her mouth.
Vanessa appeared beside Riza, placing a hand on the back of her chair as she cocked her hip. She was completely relaxed, acting as if they were all old friends and not as if she'd apparently only met Riza for the first time tonight. "What can I get you two ladies to drink?"
"Glass of wine," Rebecca ordered. She shed her black leather jacket and tossed her hair, running her hands through it as she relaxed into her chair.
"Just a water for me," Riza told her.
"Designated driver tonight?" Vanessa raised an eyebrow with a sympathetic smile.
"Actually, yes," Riza chuckled.
"She has to be with a bun in the oven," Rebecca interjected.
"Oh, really?" Vanessa's eyes lit up in excitement. It was the exact same expression she'd worn when they'd broke the news to Roy's family. "Oh, that's wonderful! Well anything you need, Honey, you let me know. Food is on the house for you tonight," she grinned.
"Oh, okay." Riza hadn't expected that.
"Have you all eaten?" Vanessa looked around the table.
Sheska shifted uncomfortably but nodded weakly. It was a poor lie and Riza could see right through it. She hadn't had any dinner. Riza had a sandwich at the hospital before she left Roy at eight o'clock. Now that food was mentioned, a pang of hunger struck her. She should have picked up something else too.
"No," Rebecca answered for them all.
"What do you need?"
Riza felt guilty. She hadn't come for a free meal from her mother-in-law's business. She hadn't expected one either. Chris was gruff and exuded a tough love exterior, however Riza also knew that she would feed her and Roy at every opportunity that was presented to her. Chris loved to cook for them. Mia was spoiled with home baked sweet treats every time they visited. Still. They didn't know Riza tonight, and it felt wrong.
"Honestly, it's fine –" Riza started.
"Come on," Vanessa waved away her polite rejection. "What do you want?" Her smile was genuine as she met Riza's eyes. It was like things were normal, and they were in the house on a usual evening when they arrived for dinner.
Food was ordered and Rebecca sat back satisfied. "I should take you places more often," she joked. When Riza scowled at her, Rebecca laughed.
"I didn't expect a free meal," she muttered. "I ate at the hospital."
"The hospital?" Sheska's eyes widened, realising she'd voiced her thought. Riza appreciated her concern though, despite not knowing her very well. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that out loud," she flapped, "you don't need to tell me."
"No, it's okay." At this point, Riza would have thought Roy being in the hospital was common knowledge. Rebecca had told her gossip was ripe in the military. She often filled Riza in on the juicy secrets she'd heard, which was always entertaining. "Roy's in the hospital."
"Roy?" Sheska echoed.
"Colonel Mustang," Rebecca supplied.
Sheska frowned, then her eyes widened behind her glasses again. "The Colonel? Oh…" She trailed off, like she'd just made a massive revelation.
"Yeah, Sheska. You hadn't heard?"
She shook her head, answering Rebecca's question. "I… I don't really hear much in the archives and I don't really pay attention either." Another sheepish smile flitted across her face. "I… To be honest, I didn't even make the connection between you and him."
"How could you not?" Rebecca scoffed. "He never shuts up about his family," Rebecca grinned directly at Riza.
Resisting the urge to groan, Riza just shook her head.
"You need to get your head out of your books more often."
"I like my books," she replied defensively. "but that is true, I did hear him talking about you. I remember now," Sheska announced, cocking her head in thought.
Riza did groan this time.
"Colonel Mustang loves his wife, everyone knows that," Rebecca continued, unrelenting in her teasing, and knowing that sudden attention on Riza would wind her up. "And his daughter is the cutest thing he's ever seen. No other child holds a candle to her."
While that was always wonderful to hear, it was almost embarrassing. All the people in his workplace probably knew about her. Even if it was the truth, all that possibly unwanted attention… Riza didn't want to voice her current thought. It would only bring the mood down, but it wouldn't leave her alone. As she thought it, a wave of sadness washed over her, but from what they were describing, Roy sounded so much like Maes Hughes. Their late friend had definitely rubbed off on him. Well, at least everyone knew he was a devoted family man. That had always been their plan.
"He does love you both very much," Sheska added. "It's heart-warming to see and hear about."
"Thank you." Riza shifted uncomfortably because what else could she say to that? "I'm… I'm glad."
Their food arrived and Riza was saved. They ate and the conversation drifted away from their work, which Riza knew Rebecca appreciated. She'd had a tough time lately and was definitely looking to let loose that night.
Riza had caught her visiting Havoc when he was alone in the room and Roy was out at physical therapy. They'd looked very close. Rebecca had been sitting by his bedside, head slightly bowed, but she'd seen their joined hands. Riza turned and left them, giving them the privacy they deserved. Rebecca obviously felt she couldn't visit normally, the way she wanted to, so had resorted to these stealth meetings, and Riza's heart hurt for her friend.
"I'm going to go mingle," Rebecca announced after their plates had been cleared. She stood from her chair. "People have been trying to wave me down all night and can't take a hint. Don't get into too much trouble while I'm gone."
"Shouldn't it be me telling you that?" Riza raised an eyebrow at her friend.
Rebecca just grinned at her, offering them both a wave.
"I'll be back in a minute," Riza directed at Sheska. "I just need to freshen up."
Sheska nodded and sat back in her chair, content. Riza didn't particularly like leaving the woman to sit by herself but being pregnant didn't exactly let her run on her own schedule. If she needed to go, she needed to go.
Walking through the corridor to the toilets, Riza bumped into Vanessa as she exited through a staff door.
"Hi," Riza offered.
Vanessa giggled. "It's so fun having you here, Riza. We have to do this more often."
"It is nice to sit back and catch up with Rebecca," Riza agreed. "It's fascinating to see you all work as well. I wasn't expecting a free meal though," she frowned. "Let me pay for it."
Vanessa winked at her. "Chris told me you'd say that. She insisted though."
"It's going to happen every time I come, isn't it?" Riza sighed.
"Probably," she snickered. "If you're coming from the hospital, definitely. I would insist on it too. You need more than a sandwich to keep you going." She poked Riza's shoulder.
"How did you know that?"
She wiggled her perfectly shaped eyebrows. "I have my sources. Look who you're talking to," she gestured to herself. "Look who I work for."
Riza paused for a beat. "Roy called, didn't he?"
"He was just concerned," Venessa placated, placing a hand on Riza's shoulder. "He said the sandwich filling honestly looked disgusting and wondered how you managed to stomach it," she laughed.
"I can't help what I'm craving," she muttered to herself. Pickled onion on lettuce sandwiches was something she'd never expected she'd eat either, but the baby demanded it. And it was rather tasty.
"So, sue us for wanting to get a decent meal in you. Of course, it's going to happen again. We take care of our own, Riza." Vanessa tossed her blonde hair over her shoulder. "Come on, get back out there." She shooed Riza away with her hands. "You've got mingling to do. Connections to make."
"Bathroom first."
"Right. Speak to you soon," she grinned. Offering her a small wave, Vanessa turned and walked back out into the bar area.
Shaking her head fondly at her sister-in-law's antics, Riza entered the bathroom.
"Sorry for leaving you," she apologised to Sheska once she arrived back at the table.
"No, it's okay! You don't need to apologise," she reassured her with a warm smile.
"Rebecca is popular, isn't she?" Riza watched as her friend's head tipped back, hair tumbling down her back in waves as she laughed at what someone said.
"She is," Sheska agreed. "She's a very well-respected soldier, especially at the shooting range. She's one of the best snipers the military has."
"So how do you two know each other?"
"We kind of met in passing. Brigadier General…" Sheska stuttered, trailing off as a sadness appeared to wash over her. "Um," she coughed behind her hand, "Brigadier General Hughes recruited me into the records department." Her voice wavered as she spoke his name, causing Riza to shoot her a sympathetic smile. "And I've met Colonel Mustang a few times in passing too. Rebecca was with him and we were introduced. I was kind of surprised when she invited me out to be honest." Her admission was quiet. She glanced away, shrinking in on herself as she looked almost shy and embarrassed to admit it. "I don't really get out too often."
Riza wasn't sure why. She was excellent company. Riza made a mental note to ask Rebecca to do this more often, Sheska included. It was nice for her to unwind too, away from her worries for a few hours or so. Roy's condition and recovery was a constant weight on Riza's mind, but he too actively pushed her to go out and enjoy herself. She deserved it, Roy insisted, and if it meant meeting new people like Sheska, then Riza would be more than happy to as well.
"I'm glad you're here, Sheska." The young woman lifted her gaze from the table, looking doubtful. "If you weren't here, Rebecca would've left a pregnant woman sitting by herself," Riza added dryly. "You've been my saviour."
Sheska cringed, but let out a giggle. "Thank you, Riza."
"I was just thinking we should do this more often."
"Really?" Sheska's eyes lit up.
Riza nodded. "I would love to," she smiled. "It's been a lovely evening so far."
Sheska grinned and sat back in her chair, looking happy to be included in any future plans. "I would like that too," she admitted shyly.