TWENTY-NINE

The first thing Anakin felt as he began drifting back toward the land of the waking was a strange sense of weightlessness. A tentative opening of his eyes brought in a brilliant white light. They shut reflexively. He wondered briefly if he was dead, and this was the Netherworld of the Force.

But no...the Netherworld had no sensations, and Anakin most definitely felt something. He seemed to drift back down until he was aware of a bed beneath him. The sense of touch returned almost all at once, and the next thing Anakin felt was pain...a pinprick in his left arm, a dull ache in his throat. It was somehow hazy and far away, as everything else seemed to be. Memory returned next.

I'm on the medical frigate. Of course. He'd had another operation...a tracheotomy in place of the old breath mask. Apparently it had been a success. It was a strange sensation to breathe through one's throat instead of moving air past the nose and mouth, but Anakin told himself to be grateful. He would be certain to tell the Alliance so when he had the chance. Now, if only that suit-

Anakin froze, realizing for the first time he felt cloth against his skin...real cloth, not an insulated blend of leather, wire, and padding. Experimentally he shifted his weight. Sure enough, that was cloth he felt, of clothing and a blanket and a bed that seemed impossibly soft. His tearless eyes ached. It's gone...all of it. The suit is gone. I'm free. Joy unknown for two decades lifted Anakin's heart. He wanted to laugh, shout, or cry. As all of those were impossible, he settled for smiling. I must tell Luke of this! Eagerly Anakin reached for his son's presence...and stopped short with surprise. He's here? Unsure of his senses, Anakin slowly blinked his eyes open again. He squinted against the light and looked around.

Someone sat on his right side. There was only one it could be. Like a wheel on a rusty axle, Anakin turned his head to look. His vision was rather blurry, but the blonde hair, slim form, and presence in the Force made it obvious. Anakin's heart soared. Luke, my son. At last!

Luke immediately straightened his spine. His eyes met his father's, then filled with tears. For the first time, he could look his father in the eye. A smile rose on his face and he spoke.

Anakin frowned, knitting his hairless brows. All he could hear was a vague buzzing in his left ear. When Luke repeated himself with the same result, Anakin sagged with disappointment. He hadn't known he would be deaf. Still, anything was better than wearing that dreadful mask. Thankfully Luke seemed to understand and repeated himself, carefully enunciating the word.

Father. He said father. Anakin tried to reply. It came out as a garbled vibration in his vocal cords. Come on, you can do this...Anakin took a deep breath and tried again. "Luke..." It was little more than a whisper, but at least he was speaking on his own.

Luke's tears overflowed his cheeks and he turned away, covering his eyes. How was it possible to feel heartache and joy at the same time?

Anakin's smile faded. He sensed no revulsion, only sadness. He reached for Luke's shoulder. "Don't weep for me, son," he rasped. "You've given me a greater gift than I can ever repay."

Luke tried to smile and wipe his eyes, but the tears kept coming.

He can't stand to look at me. Anakin let his hand drop. "Not very pleasant to look at, am I? It's all right. I understand."

Quickly Luke turned back to his father. "I want to see you...the real you. It doesn't matter what you look like...besides, you don't know what I see."

Anakin smiled sadly. He could only catch every other word, but it didn't take much to decode what Luke was saying. "What do you see, then, but a broken, scarred shell of an old man?"

Luke frowned and shook his head. He doesn't understand. The young man took Anakin's shoulder and looked him in the eye. "What I see is my father."

Anakin's sad smile returned. "You're too kind, son."

Luke let his father go. "How are you feeling?"

Anakin's face was the picture of contentment. "Whole. Thank you, Luke. I don't know how you managed to convince the medics to remove the suit."

Luke shrugged. "Don't thank me, Father. That was the Alliance. Thank them."

"I will...as soon as I have the chance." Anakin blinked, fatigue returning. He was so tired...but while his body was asking for a nap, he wanted to spend more time with his son.

Luke sensed his father in pain. "Maybe I should go. You need rest."

Anakin gave Luke a plaintive look. "So soon?"

Luke noticed the guard coming to the door and grimaced. "They won't let me stay very long."

Let him go. Anakin nodded. "It was good to finally see you, Luke...with my own eyes."

Luke gnawed his lip, wondering about the news he finally had permission to pass on. He waved away the guard. "Wait...just a minute. There's something I need to tell him."

Reluctantly the guard nodded and stood at a parade rest. "Five minutes. I have my orders."

Luke nodded, then turned back to his father, taking a deep breath. How to tell him? "Father? I...I don't want to upset you, but I thought you should know. I'm...not your only child."

Anakin's eyes widened as he absorbed the information. Slowly he shook his head. "Impossible. Padme was only pregnant once...she was the only one I loved. Unless-" He flinched. "Twins? She had...twins?" Anger at not knowing sooner faded quickly, and the joy of finding out he was a father returned. He smiled, then let it fade as reality set in. My child is not likely to want anything to do with me… "Who? And do they know?"

Slowly Luke nodded. "It's Leia. And she knows."

Guilt far stronger than what he had felt before washed over Anakin. Memories of all he had done as Darth Vader were now made worse by the knowledge that Leia was his daughter.I tortured her...I did the same to the man she loves...I stood by and watched as her world was destroyed...I hurt my own daughter! With a shudder of grief, he covered his tearless eyes.

Luke's heart sank. Leia was right. I shouldn't have told him. Gently he touched Anakin's arm until his father could read his lips. "I'm sorry."

"Luke, it's I who should apologize. I've been a terrible father to you both." It was tempting to just wallow in his sadness, to pull the grief over his head like a heavy blanket and retreat from the galaxy...but he couldn't. There was still too much work to be done.I must do whatever I can to help. I'll offer my services as mechanic, pilot, informant, whatever they need. The broken man took a deep breath, rubbing his aching eyes. "I know I can never make up for all I've done...but I swear to you...with whatever life I have within me, I'll do what I can to set things right. Whatever the Rebellion needs of me...I'll give."

So earnest were his father's words, so deep were his emotions, that for a moment Luke couldn't say anything. Anakin was bound and determined to at least try and make amends. He nodded to his father. "I know. Slow down," he added, worried about the rasp of his father's voice.

"Luke..." Anakin took a deep breath from his sore throat. "My words may mean nothing. She may not even listen. But could you tell your sister that...that I am so sorry for all the pain I've caused her, and...and that I love her? Please?"

"Of course I will, Father." Luke nodded, even as he wondered how Leia would respond to this. The guard motioned to him, and he grimaced, rising from the bedside chair. "Is there anything else I can do for you?"

Anakin's throat ached. The one thing he had never done was hold his child in his arms. Now his child- no, children -were grown. Would Luke or Leia even want to embrace such an ugly creature? Leia might never see him. But Luke was there. Tentatively he inched up on his elbow and opened his arm.

Luke saw the fear and hesitation in his father's eyes, and his heart broke. His mind was already made up. Carefully, not wanting to hurt the man, he stepped into his father's embrace.

A sense of completion that had not been felt since leaving his mother on Tatooine washed over Anakin. At last, he had a family again. His eyes ached, begging for tears to soothe them. "I love you, son."

Words that Luke had been longing to hear for most of his life finally fell on his ears. It was overwhelming and made the tears return to his eyes. His throat was closed with emotion, but gave Anakin's shoulder a squeeze.

It was not until it fell to the sheet on his lap that Anakin noticed the single tear that had somehow emerged from his eye.