This is a long chapter. They seem to be longer nowadays after my two-year hiatus. You're finally going to learn the Warden-Commander's whole story!
Chapter 28: The Burden of Command
Mercy called a meeting first thing in the morning after everybody had returned. First, there would be a Warden meaning in Avernus's tower, and then everyone would meet over lunch to discuss future plans. The spikes and the other less savory parts of his workspace had been disposed of and the Drydens were nice enough to put together some makeshift tables and chairs. The hole in the wall was on the way to being patched up, and the cobwebs were clear. Mercy made sure that his tower would be far from private, and made it clear anyone could enter at any time.
Most of the Wardens had been put through the modified Joining, with holdouts from Alistair and Cadoc, and they were reporting good things with no ill side effects as of yet. Additionally, they were able to find Warden arms and armor, magically preserved for over 200 years, and all the Wardens had been properly outfitted like Mercy, Alistair and Rayne were. They were still to keep their old armor if they got into trouble or needed to go somewhere undercover, of course. The only exception was Enid, who was quite attached to her newly-acquired Juggernaut Plate, and her longsword, Rage's End.
Mercy stood at the head of the table, with Enid to her right and Rayne to her left, Garahel dozing at his feet. Rayne was leaning on his wooden staff lazily, his waist-length hair blowing in the slight breeze that came from the nearly-patched hole in the wall. Enid stood at attention, wearing simple Dalish clothes instead of her plate armor. She was so slight that it was easy to forget the punishment she could take on the field of battle. Alistair and Cadoc sat beside one another, Diala on Alistair's other side. They were holding hands. Jowan simpered at the end of the table opposite Rayne, and Mayrin motioned for him to sit down. They were all Wardens, after all. Eve's dagger-like stare made him reconsider; she was still nursing a grudge over the part he played in Irminric's death. Him being a human didn't help, of course. Avernus stood overlooking the whole scene, apparently never ceasing his work for the Wardens.
Mercy looked at her Wardens proudly and smiled. "It's wonderful to see all of you again; you have been doing great work, and our goal is in sight. While it hasn't shown itself, we know the Archdemon is angry and impatient, which means we're doing her job." The group smiled at one another, proud of the effort they had made; they should be.
She got the bad news out of the way first: as vile as Avernus was, he was useful, and from him she learned all kinds of Warden lore. Mercy had been properly horrified by the revelation about Broodmothers and darkspawn reproduction. And since there was evidence of ogres in past Blights, it means that the kossith had come to Thedas before the qunari ever did. Most importantly, she shared with them a vital piece of Warden lore: an Archdemon cannot be slain by anyone other than a Grey Warden, and that Grey Warden dies in the process. It was a sad truth, but accepted somberly. It only made sense.
"Now, somewhere along the line, I assumed command. I am uncertain if I decided on that, or if others decided for me, but, regardless, I became Commander of the Grey in Ferelden. I think I've done a pretty good job so far: our Wardens have increased from three to eleven, and we have secured the allegiance of mages, the Dalish, Arl Wulff and some Avvar, the future Teyrn of Highever, and even the Queen of Ferelden. We saved the Arl's son, and we reconquered the Peak for the Wardens, even in this time of Blight. We are gathering our allies in Redcliffe, where we will muster all of the allies we can to end this Blight," she continued, smiling. She took a deep breath before continuing.
"That is not to say that I haven't made some mistakes," she continued. Alistair smiled at that, hopeful she would be turning over a new leaf. He knew that, even though she had made decisions with which he wasn't necessarily okay, she had still done her job and done better than he ever could have. Still, there were some things he would change; namely, the blood mages.
"I'm happy to hear you admit that, Commander!" Cadoc interrupted, his brown eyes jubilant. "I know we're Wardens, but even the Dalish have more sense than to travel with his many mages! I've heard that they have to leave any extras in the woods alone to fend for themselves. Me, I'd suggest at least getting rid of the blood mages," he said without a hint of irony. Avernus raised an eyebrow at that from his desk, but kept working. Jowan looked mortified.
Enid laughed a bit and put her face into her hand before looking at Cadoc incredulously. "Is that what the shemlen say about us? Really? Magic is celebrated among the People, Cadoc. Young mages are our most precious resource. Of course, every clan is different… But you can't believe everything you hear, especially not from your Chantry," she asserted.
"And furthermore," Mercy cut in, annoyed at the interruption, "that was not what I was going to say. I don't regret recruiting Jowan, or letting Avernus live. Jowan had a rocky start, but has done well working with Avernus. I have no doubt he will continue to be a great asset in the days to come. And Avernus…" she said, looking at him hesitantly. "What Avernus did was monstrous. If I had been in command, I would have forbidden the experiments on his fellow Wardens, and stopped him if he continued. But not using what he has learned would mean that our fellows died for nothing. He will continue his experiments ethically, or not at all. It is because of Avernus that you might be able to one day retire and die of old age, instead of having to go on your Calling.
Some Wardens began to voice objections, but Mercy raised her hand to silence them. "What I do consider mistakes, however, are, in my opinion, fairly grave. First: I have been using the Joining as a charity, or a cure, for the Taint. With Enid, we didn't really have a choice if we wanted Morrigan's help, and Bodahn made a pretty strong argument for Diala, but, Cadoc, your Joining was incredibly foolish, especially since we let your family be present. Honourable as they may be now, it is impossible to know when that knowledge may come back to bite us. And we've been incredibly lucky so far— if Cadoc had died, who knows whether or not I would have had Wulff's support, or his enmity?"
They were listening, now. Some, like Diala, were nodding gravely, while Cadoc looked offended on behalf of his father, but had enough sense to keep quiet about it this time.
"The other issue I must mention is the way that I have been running things: we are a group with a singular purpose, an organization with a duty that cannot be forsworn… But I've been treating this like a group of good friends and acquaintances. From now on, while you may take issue with some of the decisions I make, and even voice those issues, they are decisions with which you must live, and not decisions you can go complaining to our noble allies about," she said with a hint of steel, her violet eyes boring into Alistair, who had the courtesy to look contrite.
"Now, as you all know, my name is Mercy Hissera. I am a vashoth: a qunari born outside of the qun, and my parents were tal-vashoth, those who were born into the qun, but fled from it. Somehow, they escaped, and went as far as possible, settling in Ferelden. Their society is alien to the rest of Thedas, even the way they raise their children. They practice selective breeding to create the strongest, fastest and smartest qunari possible. The father's role ends in conception and the mother's at birth. Qunari aren't named when they are born; they are only assigned a series of numbers, and they are raised by the Tamassrans, evaluating them every second of their early lives. At the age of 12, they are assigned a role in society, and given a name. This name can change if the role does.
"Know also that they waste nothing. If at all possible, they capture enemies instead of killing them, and try to convert them to the Qun. They have people that have been training their whole lives for that sole purpose. Those that are not amenable to conversion are still not killed; they are given qamek, a substance that effectively lobotomizes them, making them mindless labourers. Willing converts are called viddathari, and are made a part of the Qun wherever the Tamrassans decide they should be. The mindless labourers are called viddath-bas."
She paused, taking in their reactions. Rayne was writing everything down eagerly, and most of her Wardens looked horrified. Diala, Enid and Mayrin were all listening intently, however, faces intense but impassive. Perhaps they saw some wisdom in the qunari philosophy, or perhaps they knew where she was going with her story.
"My parents were both part of the ben-hassrath, meaning "the Heart of the Many". They maintain spiritual and moral clarity among the qun… They are essentially secret police, fighting threats from within and out, and maintaining peace and unity through any means necessary. They're actually considered priests," she said, chuckling mirthlessly, "and allowed to use whatever tool is necessary for the job, unlike the soldiers in the antaam, such as Sten. My parents knew of one another and had worked together in the past.
"Anyways, my father's role was hissrad— he was a spy. He was placed with a unit of soldiers on Seheron, obstensibly as a karasaad— a soldier— and even given his own sword, forged in secret to fool his brethren. My father's placement was routine; it was his job to check in with these units every once in awhile, making sure everything was 'up to code', as it were, since living on Serehon is apparently an ordeal that breaks even the strongest of wills. He got… Attached to them, which would have been fine, had their commander, their Sten, not had his sword destroyed in battle with a Tevinter mage. It was destroyed utterly, with no hope of being reforged. Thus, the Sten should be deemed soulless… But that isn't what happened.
"The unit had become so close that they refused to turn on their Sten, and my father agreed with them… But that meant that the entire squad was to be reeducated, or become mindless labourers, if that was unsuccessful, after watching their Sten die anyways. In an act of mercy, he revealed himself to them and helped them escape, before reporting to his superiors what he had done— he was still qunari, after all. He thought he was going to be reeducated, and have his thinking realigned a bit— fixed. That was not the case. A decision was made that, since he essentially he created an entire squad of tal-vashoth, one with their commander still alive, he was to be given qamek immediately. Skilled as he was, he broke free and ran for the jungles, avoiding qunari and Tevinter both.
"My mother was a skilled tallis— fixers and assassins. They are sent as a last resort. She tracked him down easily, and was going to kill him, until she saw who he was. She knew him, and not only did she know him, but she looked into his eyes and saw that he was afraid and harmless, and not a monster like so many tal-vashoth she had faced. My mother granted my father Mercy, and they went on the run. It took them years, but they eventually reached the arling of West Hills here in Ferelden. During that time, they had fallen in love, and, soon after, I was born. I was named Mercy, for the virtue that gave them their new life, and they chose the last name Hissera, meaning truth. They would be spies and assassins no longer. It was mercy that let them find each other, and mercy that allowed them to try to redeem themselves for everythin they had done as part of the qun."
It was a lot to take in. Her companions had mixed emotions about the story, but most seemed to at least like how it ended, with Enid even wiping a tear from her eye, despite Mercy's matter-of-fact telling.
"Wow… And I thought my mom was badass," Eve remarked to no one in particular.
"The qunari are really like that? Surely, your parents must have exagerrated somewhat," Cadoc said, his voice trailing off.
"No no," Rayne said, considering. "Everything Mercy has said matches with what I've read about the qunari, but less tinged with Chantry fanaticism and propoganda."
Nodding at him, Mercy continued. "What that means about how I see the world, and how I will steer the Wardens from now on, should be quite clear. Make no mistake: if we fail, the Blight will be unleashed on Thedas, and untold thousands will die. We have a chance to stop it before it truly begins, and, in order to do that, we need a singular vision. We can't keep squabbling. Thus, I am calling for a vote. First, about whether or not I will continue as Warden-Commander, and second, if the vote is no, who the Commander will be. I will abide by the results, no matter what they are. If you cannot… Well, I suppose we can deal with insubordination later.
"I will reiterate: we are in a time of Blight and need every advantage we can get. If that means using a blood mage's research, even if it cost Wardens their lives, so be it. If that means recruiting the man who poisoned Arl Eamon and helped cause the destruction at Redcliffe, so be it," she continued. Eve looked sad and angry, and Jowan wanted to sink into the floor. If looks could kill, however, Alistair's gaze alone would have done Jowan in. "Now that we have more Archdemon blood from Avernus, we can begin recruiting in earnest. I will offer mercy to even our most despicable foes if I believe they will be of use: firstly, because I believe that everyone deserves a chance at redemption, but, secondly, because it just makes sense. If my parents did not believe in mercy, I would not be here. Next time we're in Denerim, we will be tracking down Leliana's old bardmaster, a woman who framed and betrayed her, and left her for dead. I intend to offer her a chance to Join the Wardens. The same goes for Arl Howe, even though he massacred Keegan's entire family, and the future teyrn is— if reluctantly— on board."
There were some shocked faces at that, but Alistair realized that, apparently, Keegan's comments had not been hyperbole. Alistair was simmering, though, for what he expected to come next.
"That means that, if we can defeat Loghain, he will be given the same chance," Mercy said calmly, regarding Alistair gravely. Diala grabbed his hand, trying to be a calming presence, but it was of no use.
"I didn't just hear you say that. You'd consider letting him live, after everything he's done?!" he asked, incredulous.
"The teyrn is a warrior and general of renown. Let him be of use. Let him redeem himself. If him, or Howe, or Marjolaine refuse, I will not force the issue. They are capable, and I could wake at any moment with a dagger in my chest. But if they are earnest and willing, they will be Joined." Mercy argued coolly, face impassive.
"And the Joining is often fatal," Rayne added thoughfully. "If Loghain survives, we gain a general. If not, you have your revenge."
"Absolutely not! Mercy, this man abandoned our brothers and sisters and then blamed us for the deed! He has hunted us down like animals. He poisoned Arl Eamon," he reiterated, glaring at Jowan. "Joining the Wardens is an honour, not a punishment! Name him a Warden and you cheapen us all! I will not stand next to him as a brother! I won't!"
"Not all of us have spotless honour, you know," Mayrin said cynically, meeting Alistair's gaze unflinchingly.
"Some things can't be undone or forgiven. This goes way beyond having spotless honour; we aren't talking about a minor hiccup in his past. I can't talk about this anymore," he said, getting up to leave the room.
"Alistair, this is a Blight," Enid pleaded from behind him, standing up. Her blue eyes were wet with tears; she hated seeing her new clan in pain. "We must all make sacrifices. The Hero of River Dane is famous even among the People— his usefulness can't be overstated. I don't know if I would make the same decision, but Mercy is just—"
"What would Duncan do, Alistair?" Mercy asked, cutting Enid off. That made Alistair stop in his tracks, and spin to face her.
"We don't bloody well know, do we?!" he fumed. "Because the man you want to induct into the Grey Wardens is responsible for his death, and the deaths of all of our brothers!"
"What Duncan would do," Rayne said with quiet fury, "is recruit Loghain into the Wardens, and then punish you for insubordination, whether it be about this or the modified Joining potion!" he screamed, slamming the butt of his staff into the ground and causing the torches in the room to flare dangerously, his waist-length black hair rising, charged with magic. "Or do you not remember Ser Jory, from our Joining? Of course joining the Wardens is an honour… Anyone should be honoured to protect Thedas one of its most ancient enemies. But the Wardens themselves… We are not honourable, and have a history written in blood. Historically, we have been a refuge for men and women wanting to escape their pasts, or to atone for what they've done. Avernus was a Warden at the beginning of the Storm Age— over 200 years ago now— and his Commander ordered him to use blood magic and summon demons."
"Sophia Dryden was an outlier," Alistair argued, "and the Wardens got exiled for her choices! If all Wardens were doing that, we wouldn't be allowed anywhere!"
"Dryden got the Wardens exiled because of politics, not blood magic, Alistair. Have you read accounts of the First Blight?" he asked, annoyed, before turning to the rest of them. "For that matter, have any of you, other than our exiled princess, for whom the darkspawn are not simply ancient history? I have. The First Blight lasted one hundred and ninety-two years. One hundred and ninety-two. Entire generations were born and died knowing only war with the Darkspawn. The Grey Wardens were something of a coalition… And a revelation. But the Grey Wardens were no accident. Diala, Mayrin: have there ever been any accounts of accidental Grey Wardens developing in Orzammar, the Legion, or any other dwarven lands? Or even on the surface?" he asked, locked into his rant.
"I don't think so, no…" Mayrin said, scratching at his now nearly-respectable beard.
"No, there haven't," Diala confirmed, impressed that the elf knew about the Legion. "But the Taint has caused major fertility problems among the dwarves; nobody is immune… At least, nobody about whom I have heard. Except the Wardens, of course."
Rayne nodded, almost maniacal, his rant picking up more and more speed the longer he went. He walked up to Avernus' overlook now, eyes wild. "As I thought. I've seen the Joining formula Alistair; the herbs, the rare ingredients, the darkspawn and archdemon blood… The precise ratio of all of these ingredients to the lyrium. There is no way that that was discovered, no way that that was accidental. That is a formula created through careful experimentation of Tevinter blood mages and ancient elven magic, most likely… A formula written in blood. The only reason that the Grey Wardens are here— and the only reason Thedas is here— is because they took the time to do the unthinkable, to test their hypotheses, to put their petty feelings aside, and to do what matters, regardless of the cost. There is no way that this was achieved without extensive experimentation— most likely on elven slaves and others at the lowest rungs of society.
"The creation of the Wardens was an act of desperation. Now that Avernus has told us exactly why we are so needed, we can better understand the time that created us. Can you imagine it? The Tevinter Imperium, at the height of its powers, its reach stretching all across Thedas, unable to kill a single dragon. Every time they did, it would rise. Again. And again. And again," he said, voice quieting and cadence slowing. His mossy eyes narrowed, looking at no one in particular and lost in thought for a moment. "Regardless," he said, coming back to reality, "the Grey Wardens do whatever is necessary to end a Blight and worry about the consequences after the fact, or not at all. Mercy has decided that stopping the Blight matters… And not much else. If you weren't prepared for that, you could have assumed command after Ostagar, being the Senior Warden. If her way of doing things means recruiting the man responsible for the death of the Wardens— and that is debatable, by the way— then so be it. If you can't stomach that, then this was never about saving Thedas for you. This was always about revenge. And if that's the case, then you are no true Warden," Rayne spat.
The silence that followed was long, but Alistair hadn't moved, and Diala grasped his hand tightly as he tried to hold back tears. Enid broke the silence by actually calling for the vote, and, surprisingly, Mercy was unanimously confirmed as Commander of the Grey in Ferelden. Directly under her was Enid, who was made Warden-Constable, and Rayne, promoted to Senior Mage Warden, meaning Avernus and Jowan, as well as any other magical recruits, were directly under his command. Diala, Alistair and Mayrin were made Senior Wardens, below Enid and Rayne. For now, it didn't mean much other than command of Eve, Cadoc, Avernus and Jowan, but as recruitment increased, so too would the need for a definite command structure.
"Now… If that's all decided," Mercy sighed, rubbing her eyes, heart heavy after Rayne's altercation with Alistair, "we have about an hour before we meet the queen and our allies for lunch. Please try to be on time. And Rayne?"
"Yes, Commander?"
"As my first official command, I order you to have Leliana cut your hair. Since you are so opposed to putting it up, it can be no longer than shoulder-length until you change your mind.
He deflated a little, but chuckled. Jaime had won. "Yes, Commander. Right away."
Despite what you might think from reading this, I actually quite like Alistair as a character, but I also like Loghain a lot. Since there is no way in canon for you to get both, I reasoned that, in order to get Alistair to agree, someone would have to break him down first, and then he could be built back up. He has to reevaluate the mission.
And yes, that was Enid taking a shot at the Inquisition assertion that the Dalish suddenly started getting rid of excess mages, contrary to all of the lore established thus far. I get that the Dalish have become more and more splintered in their beliefs and customs as time has gone on, but that just kinda made me mad.
As usual, thank you to my few reviewers, and to those that have favourited and followed. Thanks Judy, who is super faithful! Please let me know what you think if you have a read, or if you have any suggestions or ideas!