When Stanford Pines was very young his father had decided to move their entire family across the country to a small town in Oregon. Gravity Falls. Most would call what Mr. Pines had done foolish, insane, strange, weird. But there was no better way to describe the town the small family had gone to. Ford found that Gravity Falls was much more welcoming to someone like him, especially coming from a place like Glass Shard.

His mother was the kind of person who was more than willing to follow her husband out somewhere far away. Ford's younger brother wouldn't be born for several years, so there was no small child they really had to deal with. Ford himself was eight, but he was a very mature eight-year-old, and they didn't really have to worry about him.

Ford soaked Gravity Falls in like a sponge. Glass Shard had stifled him slightly, and he was more than willing to start over. He would always be coming home and telling his parents about the world inside of their little town, even if he never interacted with the other humans.

Little did they know it might not have been a good thing.

When Dipper Pines was twelve, almost thirteen, his life was changed forever.

He'd been sent to live with his great uncle for the summer, along with his twin sister, in a small town in Oregon. Gravity Falls. There he had found a Journal that told of the most fantastical and dangerous things he'd ever encountered (not that that meant much. He lived in Piedmont for crying out loud). So far, in the three months he'd been there, he'd fought video games (IRL), two giant robots, a dream demon, zombies, and the US Government. Not to mention a bunch of other things. It was like he couldn't go a week without almost dying.

Now he was in the basement of the house he had been living in. A giant portal device in front of him. A portal that could destroy the world. A portal that his sister, Mabel, hadn't turned off. A portal that had a figure inside of it, walking into the main part of the room.

The figure was dressed all in black, and so far the only parts of him that Dipper could really see was his hands. Hands that were reaching down and picking up the first of the three Journals. Dipper's eyes widened against his will and he whispered, "Who is that?"

His Grunkle answered him, "The Author of the Journals..." Stan took a deep breath and got to his feet, rubbing his fez-covered head. "My nephew."

Dipper's incoherent thoughts seemed to straighten. The Author, Stan's nephew, took off his mask, revealing a forty-or-fifty-year-old face that looked almost identical to Stan's, and even more similar to the newspaper picture Dipper had seen of an unnamed grifter. The man moved close to Stan, and the older man stepped towards him as well.

"Finally, after all these years of waiting!" Stan exclaimed, holding his arms out towards the Author, who looked unimpressed. "You're actually here!"

"Uncle Stan, out of respect for you, I'm going to have to ask that you step away for a moment." The Author said, folding his arms over his chest. Stan gulped and said quietly, "Ford... Uh..."

"One." 'Ford' said, holding his left hand up in a fist and lifting his pointer finger. "Two." he lifted the next finger and Stan gulped. "Kid..."

"Three!" Ford launched himself towards Stan, and swung a fist into his face. Stan took a step back from the force, his glasses flying off of his face. "Ow!" He shouted, and Ford huffed. "I gave you a warning. You had plenty of time to block it." Ford said, refolding his arms and rolling his eyes. "Your glasses are to the right."

"I swear kid, if you broke those..." Stan said, kneeling down and patting around the area Ford had told him to. Dipper watched Ford kneel down next to Stan and pick the black frames up. One of the lenses was slightly cracked, but Stan accepted them without complaining. Dipper saw that Ford's own glasses had a crack in the left lens, and when Stan put his on they looked almost like twins.

"What did you do that for?!" Stan nearly shouted at him, and Ford scoffed. "Do you have any idea how dangerous and foolhardy what you've done is?!" Ford retorted, and Stan groaned. "What? Getting my second favorite nephew back? Oh wait. Third favorite."

Ford blinked. "I... Have another brother?" He breathed, and Stan shook his head. "No. Wood got married. You have a nephew. Congrats."

Ford's entire body froze, then a smile spread across his face, "I have a nephew?" He asked, and Stan nodded. "That's him right there." Ford looked where Stan was waving at, which just so happened to be Dipper. The Author's eyes grew wider, and his smile was covered by a six-fingered hand. "I... I have a nephew..." He said, and Dipper breathed "I have an uncle..."

"Yup, and a niece." Stan added, and Ford's eyes snapped over to the older man. "Another? How old is she?" He asked, and Stan laughed, "Almost thirteen." He answered and Ford nodded. "That makes sense."

"We have an uncle?!" Mabel exclaimed, shoving Dipper out of the way and gaining Ford's attention. "That's so amazing!" She shoved a hand out to him and beamed. "Hi! I'm Mabel!"

"Stanford. Stanford Pines." Ford said, kneeling in front of the young girl. "A pleasure." Mabel nodded, and she shook his hand, her small hand getting completely covered by his much larger one. "Whoa, a six-fingered handshake, that's a full finger friendlier than normal!" Ford's own smile matched her own, just minus the braces. "I like this one. You definitely are related to me."

He released her hand then turned slightly on his left heel and held his hand out to Dipper. "And you are..?"

Dipper's breath became quicker and he stared at the hand about a foot away from him. The fingers tilted to his right slightly, and he stared at the six of them. Those fingers had written the Journals... Those fingers had held the books Dipper had been obsessed with. Those fingers were attached to a man who was related to Dipper. To the man who was Dipper's dad's brother. Dipper's uncle.

"You're the Author of the Journals!" Dipper blurted out, not really hearing Ford's question. Ford blinked, and then said slowly, "That's an odd name..."

"Um... Stanley?"

Stan, who was sitting on his bed, a paddleball in his hand, one that he stopped pumping and dropped it limply on the side of his leg, watched his twin, Sherman, shut their door behind him, locking it and glancing to both sides of the room. "What's up Shermie?"

"Stan... You know about my secret relationship with Evelyn..." Sherman said, rubbing his hands together and sitting on the chair in front of their desk. The two of them glanced at a box under his seat, which was full of secret letters from Evelyn. Stan nodded and Sherman's face seemed to start to turn pale. "And you know that dance from two months ago..."

Stan nodded again, and Sherman began to sweat, Stan sat up straight, dropping his toy down next to him. The two seventeen-year-olds stared at each other for a second, then Stan said, "Um... What about it?"

"You know how teenagers can... Uh..." Sherman said, rubbing his hands up and down the top of his pants. Stan watched him have his breakdown, then Sherman said, "We got carried away! I don't know how it happened! She told me yesterday... She said that she's..." Sherman ran a hand down his face, and Stan swallowed. What in the world...

"She's pregnant Stan!"

Stan's mind shut off for a second. Evelyn Davis. One of the prettiest and most popular girls in school... The Evelyn Davis was pregnant... With Sherman's kid.

"You're going to be a dad?" Stan asked, and Sherman nodded his breathing quickening. "That... And add an E." He said, and Stan chuckled, partially from shock. "You're going to be a dade?"

"No!" Sherman exclaimed, standing up and throwing his hands into the air. "I'm going to be dead Stan! Our dad's going to kill me!" Stan knew his brother was right. What in the world were they going to do?

"Hey, Sherman, it's okay. He probably won't..." Stan started, but his twin shook his head. "You don't understand Stanley. I'm supposed to be the golden boy. I get the better grades... I do all the right things... No offense... Dad's going to kill me. Evelyn's dad is going to kill me!" Sherman began to ramble, holding his head and pacing around in a tight circle.

"None of them know about our relationship!" Sherman exclaimed, "The first thing they'll hear about our dating is that I got her pregnant! I... Stan... I need help!"

"The funny thing is, I didn't even know that my dad was my dad until I was about six or seven." Ford said, as the two Stans explained their backstory. Stan had just told the kids about how he had taken the blame for getting Evelyn pregnant, and how he'd gotten kicked out. Apparently, Filbrick wasn't very impressed with his son's 'accomplishment'.

Stan chuckled, "Yeah, how'd you adjust?" Ford glared over at him and folded his arms. "Um... logically... I mean, it's fascinating to learn that your uncle is actually your dad." He sighed and added, "They told me when he proposed."

Stan nodded, then asked smugly, "Was he awkward about it?" Ford shrugged and dropped his arms to his sides. Dipper and Mabel shared a look, and Ford said, "I was six uncle Stan. I don't remember what he said." Stan rolled his eyes, "Shoulda recorded it."

"Whatever. You should have been there." Ford added, and Stan dropped his jaw. "I literally got kicked out of my own house!" Stan shouted, "I got kicked out because of that! You're welcome!"

Ford rolled his eyes, "You guys could have figured something else out." Stan chuckled, "Oh man. You're still a brat aren't you?" He asked, and he pinched the bridge of his nose. Ford glared at him, then huffed. "I am a man in my forties, I am not a brat." Stan rolled his eyes and added, "And you've spent how long in that sci-fi sideburn dimension?"

"Hey! The grand expanse of the multiverse is no laughing matter!" Ford defended, folding his arms again. Dipper, Mabel, and Soos all began to scoot away from the other men in the room. "You will treat it with respect!"

"You will treat your elders with respect!" Stan shouted, and Dipper and Mabel winced. Dipper had to admit, seeing his reckless, annoying, brash Grunkle lecture the Author of the Journals... It was an experience to be sure.

Stan's eyes glared at his nephew, who met his gaze. "I will respect those worthy of it." Ford said calmly. "And, based off of the one interaction we have shared... You are not that kind of person."

Ford... should have probably kept his mouth shut. Stan crossed his arms and hissed, "Well. I don't know why I've devoted literally almost my entire life to you. I'm sorry I cared about your sorry skin." He glanced at Dipper and Mabel then said quietly. "And I'm sorry you were even born. It would have made it much easier for the four of us."

Dipper didn't want to think of Stan saying it... But he had. Stan might not be able to feel Dipper's heart freeze. Stan had just said that he wished that the Author... Dipper's uncle... had never existed. Stan hated him.

"Well, I don't accept your apology." Ford snapped. "I'm sorry you feel that way." He looked at the kids, and Dipper glanced at his sister, who was chewing on the sleeve of her sweater. Man this was crazy.

"Come on Dipper and Mabel, we're going," Ford said, and he threw a dirty look at his uncle, who glared right back at him. "Now."

"Wait! The government guys!" Mabel exclaimed as Ford took her still dry hand. Dipper stared at the hand that had just gripped his, and he looked up at his uncle's emotionless face. Ford began to tug them towards the door and the two of them followed without further hesitation. Ford said quietly, "We'll deal with them when we get upstairs. I'm not staying down here anymore."

"Alright Stan, you've never met your nephew before..." Stanley stood on the porch of his brother's house. It had been about two weeks since he'd gotten his nephew's postcard, and he was still baffled by how his teenage relative had gotten his address, much more about how his nephew knew about his existence.

He wondered what 'Stanford' was like. Would he be a lot like Stan? Would he be really normal? Would he be popular? Based on the condition that the house he lived in all of that was far out of the picture. The log cabin appeared at first glance to be empty, but Stan could just make out a flickering light coming from inside, like there was only a candle to keep the darkness out.

"He's family..." He told himself, and he breathed "He won't bite." He knocked on the door, and came face to face with a crossbow.

"Who is it?!" A deep voice that Stan had never heard before said, sounding slightly terrified and exhausted. "Have you come to steal my eyes!?" Stan registered a person beyond the weapon, and he saw a tall teenage boy, his pale brown coat falling loosely over his too-thin frame. This was totally how Stan wanted his first interaction with his nephew to go...

"Um...Hello?" Stan said, watching the boy tilt the bow away from his face. "Um... You Stanford?" The boy nodded, placing the crossbow against the wall to the left of the door. "Yes I am. Now, uncle Stanley, did anyone follow you? Anyone at all?"

Stan blinked at the kid, he had dark circles underneath his eyes, and a sallow look in his skin. He looked like he hadn't eaten or slept in days, and it set Stan a bit on edge. It had been about seventeen years since Stan had been kicked out, so Ford would have to be sixteen. Way too young for whatever was going on.

"Uh, kid, where's your dad?" Stan asked, and instantly regretted it. Stanford winced and muttered, "It doesn't matter..." Stan took a step into the house, forcing the boy to take a step back. "And your mom?" Stan added, "Where is she? Do they know you're here..."

Stanford rubbed his arms, a shudder escaping him and causing his teeth to chatter. "They're gone. Keeping Sherwood safe." he said, then he stuck a hand inside of his coat. Stan wondered briefly who 'Sherwood' was, but then he remembered that last phone call he'd had with his brother. What he did wonder was what on earth was wrong? What had happened to his...

"Ah!" He shouted, a light was shoved into his face, about an inch away from his eyes. The brightness temporarily destroyed Stan's vision, and he shoved the light away from him. "What the..." By the time he'd been able to blink he bright patches out of his sight Stanford was several feet further into the house, and wincing as he bumped into something behind him.

"I'm sorry, I just had to make sure you weren't..." Stanford started saying, then he seemed to rethink what he was saying. "It's nothing. Come in, come in."

Stan did as his nephew said, and Ford turned around to grab several papers and a large book. "Hey kid. Whatever's going on... You can tell me, okay?" Ford's shoulders drooped slightly, and he turned to look straight into Stan's eyes. "In that case..." The boy said, and he glanced down at the book he was holding. "I've made huge mistakes."

Stan nodded, and Ford waved him into another room. "I don't know who I can trust right now. I couldn't give this to my parents... Because we need to keep Wood safe." Stanford came to a door and placed his left hand on the knob. "I'm going to show you something." He said, looking into Stan's eyes and his uncle nodded. "Something you won't believe."

"Look, kid," Stan said, looking right back at Ford. "I've been around the world. Whatever it is, I'll understand."

"Alright kids." Ford said, pressing his back against the wall just behind the vending machine door. He had a sci-fi looking gun in his hand, poised next to his head, making him look like an agent from the movies. Dipper and Mabel nodded and Ford glanced at the door. "I can hear them talking." Ford whispered, and he motioned with his free left hand at the guns he'd placed in their own hands. "They'll find this door soon, and when they do, I want you to just... Try to get them. Just don't point it at anyone important."

Dipper looked down at the laser in his hands, then back up at Ford. "Uh... Uncle Stanford, are you sure that this is safe?"

His uncle smiled at him. "Of course it's not safe. That's what makes it fun." He turned back to the door and mused, "I did this with zombies when I was just older than you."

Dipper and Mabel shared a worried glance, then Dipper asked, "How old were you when you started your Journals?"

Ford thought for a second, then he answered, "Oh... I'd have to have been thirteen... Yeah. I got the first one for my thirteenth birthday." Dipper's jaw dropped, and he was about to ask more questions, but he heard an adult voice say, "I heard talking! It's coming from the vending machine!"

"Here we go." Ford said, and the vending machine cracked open. A loud Bang! was heard, and a yellow suited man fell to the ground. Mabel clamped a hand over her mouth, a strangled scream escaping from behind her fingers.

"Come on kids!" Ford ordered and strode into the rest of the room, taking a few more shots at the other men in the room. Mabel shook her head and pushed her gun towards Dipper, who closed the vending machine behind them. "We shouldn't be here... We shouldn't be doing this..."

"Hiya smart guy!"

Fourteen-year-old Stanford Pines spun around, the mind-scroll he'd been reading slipping out of his hand. A triangle floated in front of him, and his eyes widened. It worked... "Who are you?" he asked, and the triangle spun around his head, like he was getting a good look at him.

"Name's Bill Cipher." The triangle answered, "And you're Stanford Pines, the boy who changed the world. But I'm getting ahead of ourselves." Bill folded one of his legs over the other, making him look like he was sitting on nothing. Ford's eyes widened, and Bill asked, "Care for a game of interdimensional chess?" Ford opened his mouth to ask Bill a question of his own, but Bill told him, "Have a cup of tea."

A small mug appeared next to Ford's left shoulder, and the young boy grabbed it, a thousand questions in his mind. "What are you?" he asked, and Bill laughed. "No matter what age you are, you're still adorable." The triangle waved a hand and a chess set appeared in front of them. "You know, normally you're like... thirty."

Ford blinked at him, took a sip of tea, then asked, "What do you mean 'normally'? I'm the oldest I've ever been."

Bill chuckled, and the sound made Ford feel... strange. Man, this tea was good. What was it? "Maybe in this universe kid. But there are plenty of... Oh wait, I'm getting ahead of myself again." Ford shook his head. "No, no, keep going. I want to know."

"Isn't that the motto of your life?" Bill asked, "You want to know. And you hate it when people lie to you. I promise, if I tell you now I'd have to lie to you." Ford's mouth opened and Bill held a finger up. "Nu-uh. Let me say this. I'm a muse. I get a bit bored, so I chose one brilliant mind a century, to inspire them. And guess who the lucky guy of the 19s is!"

Stan stared at all the destruction around his house. Stanford leaned against the wall, completely ignoring the crumped figure lying on the ground. Stan's eyes were wide as he stepped over the bodies to get to his nephew. No wonder the kids were still in the passageway. "Did you do all of this?"

Ford nodded, "Can you help me get them all out? They should wake up soon."

Stan's mind went blank for a second, he looked around at all of the men, they didn't look like they were breathing, but he could practically believe anything Ford said. So he asked, "Wait. They're not dead?" His nephew laughed. "Of course not. I set my blaster for stun. It also breaks up brainwaves, so they won't remember the past... three days." Stan couldn't help but sigh. "You scared the kids. They thought you had killed all of them."

His nephew shook his head, a small smile on his lips. "No, I'm not having another 7u-2 on my hands." Stan blinked and tilted his head to the left, "You're never going to make sense. Are you?" Ford shook his head and his smile widened. "No I'm not uncle Stan. No I'm not."

Hello friends! I'm back!

I have literally no idea where this came from. I just had the thought, "What if Ford wasn't Stan's brother, but Dipper and Mabel's dad's?" Introducing, just-plain-uncle Ford! Poor Stan, gets kicked out of the house for doing nothing at all. Luckily he still has communication with Sherman, who's his twin in this AU.

Ford gets a few more years in Gravity Falls here. And he's a whole lot younger when he meets Bill. The poor kid just wants to learn everything. He'll be okay though, hopefully he can help Dipper and Mabel calm down. "Don't worry! They're not dead! I should have told you!"

Well. I hope you all have a great day! I should be back soon! Like always!

-BrilliantLight