Arthur and I decide to stop halfway to camp and let the night pass. We light a fire and take two cans of beans to eat.

I can't put anything in my stomach right now. I feel sick with myself.

How could I be so stupid? Why didn't I tell Charles about Javier? Why didn't I explain myself?

His eyes. Dear Lord, his eyes were…

I sense Arthur staring at me all the time. I know he wants to ask me, but he doesn't hoping I'll tell him something.

We reach Beaver Hollow the morning after. My eyes are swallow and hurting and I have a knot at the beginning of my stomach. It has been a difficult night, and it will be an even more difficult day.

I dismount my horse and move my eyes among the semi-deserted camp. I immediately notice Mr. Pearson has left too. The kitchen is empty and so is his tent. Sadie told me he was thinking about it.

"I'll go talk with Dutch" says Arthur moving towards the camp.

I nod and start following him drawing closer the people around the campfire. Those of us who still haven't run are gathered around it.

There's Sadie, John, Bill, Micah, Micah's friends and… Javier.

While we walk closer and closer they notice us and rise their heads to look at us.

"How's the boy?" asks Sadie.

"He… he didn't make it" replies Arthur.

I move my eyes on Javier who exchanges a look with me.

It's his fault, he did it on purpose. Why? Why talking about the kiss in front of Charles? A personal revenge on me? Or maybe he was really trying to provoke some kind of reaction in Charles?

"I'm sorry" says Sadie.

I keep staring at him as a strong desire to choke him starts rising in me.

"Where's Charles?" Sadie asks.

Hearing his name makes my body tremble. I take two big steps towards the fire and throw myself against Javier who loses the balance from the chair falling with his back against the ground.

I bring both my hands on his throat and start squeezing hard while I feel him struggling and pushing me away.

"Stop! Stop! What's wrong with you?" asks an unknown voice.

A lot of hands part me from Javier who immediately stands up when he's free.

I shake and jerk trying to free myself from the man who's restraining me, but instead someone puts a hand on my mouth keeping me even more still.

I suddenly realize I'm screaming and close my mouth gulping a couple of times.

I move my eyes full of tears on John next to me who's covering my mouth and I understand the one who's restraining me is Arthur.

All the others are standing too and they are looking at me in shock.

"Fred… Fred what happened?" asks Sadie approaching me and freeing my mouth from John's hand.

"It's all his fault! He did this! He did this!" I start screaming among the tears looking at Javier.

"I did nothing. Nothing at all" he replies.

"He hates me, he… he hates me because of you" I scream back.

"Who?" asks Sadie again.

"C-Charles" I whisper and my legs suddenly don't sustain me anymore.

Arthur slowly lets me slip on the ground and Sadie kneels next to me and puts both her hands on my shoulders.

"That's not possible, how can he hate you?" she asks, but I now her question is rhetorical.

"His eyes… y-you should have seen h-his eyes…" I sob.

They help me stand up and then Sadie gently pushes me towards her tent where I sit down and take the water Abigail is handing me. It takes me a little to calm myself down and when I do I keep staring at the people gathered around the fire.

Javier is whispering something to Micah and Bill who are laughing at his words.

"I swear I'll kill him" I murmur to myself.

My attention is caught by Arthur and Dutch, a little bit further, talking outside Dutch's tent.

They seem to be arguing, as always. I'm sure Dutch is trying to convince Arthur that this time his wonderful plan is going to work, and surely Arthur is trying to talk some sense into him.

"We have work to do my friends, let's go" I hear Dutch saying as he approaches the crowd around the fire.

"Come on, we are gonna borrow a little money from Old Uncle Sam and be out of his hair, once and for all" he says turning his back at them and heading to the horses.

Sadie next to me stands up to follow the group of men.

"Hey, don't you think it's better if you stay here. You're not in the conditions to do this" she says when I follow her example.

"No, please Sadie… I-I need to come. There is something you…"

I move my eyes on Arthur and John in the distance.

"…you can't understand. I need to come."

She looks at me for a second before she nods slowly.

I turn my head to look at Abigail and Tilly by my side.

Now there's no-one else at the camp to take care of them, apart from Miss Grimshaw of course. They are alone and if someone should come they'll be in danger. But I can't stay, Arthur is going to need all the help that's possible to make John survive and run away with his family.

"Be careful, we'll be back soon" I tell them right before heading to the horses.

This is it. We are riding all together once again, and probably for the last time. I can't help but thinking this is the end of it, for good this time. I have no intention to stay with these people one minute more than necessary: I'll keep an eye on John, be sure he makes it after today, bring him safe and sound back to Abigail and Jack, and help them go away. Then, I'll go back to Charles and I think I'm going to bring Arthur with me. I want him to have a decent death, surrounded by people who really care about him, not these ungrateful bastards. And Sadie… Sadie, Tilly, Miss Grimshaw, they can come too if they want. We'll build ourselves a better future.

"John, you go get that dinamite, we'll meet back up outside Saint Denis" orders Dutch distracting me from my thoughts.

"I'll go with him" adds Arthur.

The two of them take a little path on the right while we keep following the main road southward.

As we ride no-one says a word if not to ask for the plan and, from now and then, I feel the eyes of Javier or Bill on me.

They don't want to talk in front of Sadie and me, they know we would tell Arthur or John everything they'll say.

Dutch murmurs something to himself from now and then just like he's having some kind of private conversation and on his face I can read the concern that comes before every heist.

Micah, on the other side, acts like he's going to take a walk at the park and not like he's got to rob a train.

We reach the outskirts of the city and stop.

The waiting for Arthur and John is endless. I try to focus on the job that's waiting for us, but my mind decides to play some tricks on me and Charles's face keeps popping out.

"You want to tell me what happened?" asks Sadie coming by my side.

I move my eyes from her to Javier in the distance and think that in telling her I'm loosing nothing.

I start from that day near the river, the reason why I didn't tell Charles about what happened and then all that thing at the reservation.

"Listen, if I must be honest… I don't think Charles is angry with you and I'm sure he will understand when you'll tell why you kept that from him" says Sadie in the end.

"You don't understand. He was disappointed. I don't think he'll forgive me."

"Trust me, he will. He loves you."

At these last words, some tears blur my vision, but at the same time a smile curves my lips. I nod a couple of times and dry my cheeks with the back of my hand.

I hope she's right.

The sound of approaching horses make us turn to the road.

Arthur and John ride past us and reach Dutch. We move again and enter the city, walking through the roads and alleys and reaching the train station.

"Okay, she'll be here any time. Cleet, Sadie, you board half way along. John, you and Arthur are gonna board at the back. Rest of you, follow Micah and I, and join once they stop the train" says Dutch dismounting his horse.

We all do the same and look in the direction from which the train should come.

A distant whistle and the shaking of the trails announce her arrival.

"Here she comes" states Bill on my left.

But when she appears from around the corner, spitting her dark smoke towards the sky, we all immediately notice she's not slowing down.

We exchange a couple of puzzled looks between us.

"Should I just… sneak on now?" asks Arthur with sarcasm as the locomotive runs past us.

"Goddammit…" swears Dutch looking at Micah, who opens his arms in disbelief.

"Well… everybody mount up!" orders Dutch.

"We still going through this?" asks Arthur.

"Of course we are."

I jump on Buell and hit the spurs following the others.

The plan hasn't changed: John and Arthur have to jump on the train and try to stop her, while the rest of us will follow them on the horses. As we reach a flat carriage I look at the two of them balancing on their saddles and jumping on it, landing on their backs.

From the way they do it, it doesn't look difficult, but I'm pretty sure it is.

Obviously the train is guarded, and due to the fact that it belongs to the dear departed Mr. Cornwall, it has double protection, which means twice the guards.

I take out my gun and start shooting, killing every man who stands in the way of

Arthur and John and allowing them to run from a carriage to the other until they reach the front. Some of the others, like Sadie and Bill, do the same, but Dutch and Micah for example are doing nothing to help them.

I try not to care about them, I must concentrate here.

I aim at the umpteenth man on the carriage: he's taken cover so it's not easy to hit him. I shoot a first time, trying to force him to stick out so that Arthur or John can kill him, but I hit the carriage.

I shoot a second time and then a third.

He finally decides to show himself and it's Arthur who hits him in the chest. The man, with his hands still holding the rifle, falls on his back and as an involuntary reflex, pulls the trigger, firing blindly inside the carriage.

Suddenly, I see flames developing on the inside. Arthur and John can't procede anymore.

"Marston, jump on my horse" yells Bill who's riding in front of me.

"Arthur, here" says Dutch behind me.

When they get on the horses, I hit the spurs with more decision and we move forward passing the carriage on fire and reaching the other flat car. Arthur and John jump again on the train, this time followed by Bill, Sadie and Cleet.

I decide to join them. I take out my left foot from the stirrup and place it on the saddle. Then, trying to find my balance on the running Buell, I do the same with the other.

No, it's not easy at all, I think taking a couple of deep breaths.

Collecting all my strength, I pull with my legs, leaning over the carriage. I hit my ribs when I land on the wooden platform.

"John, uncouple that carriage, before it blows us all up" I hear Arthur shouting.

John runs past me to reach the car on fire and pull out the nail that connects it to ours.

I let out a groan of pain and bring my hand to my belly as I stand up, take my gun and recharge it as fast as I can.

A bang makes me turn around just in time to see the carriage blowing up and go off the trails.

"We're good?" I ask turning around to look at my companions.

"Yes, fine" answers Arthur.

At the center of the flat car I spot some kind of tripod, but I'm not able to understand what it is until John speaks.

"We got more on the horses. Man that gun, Arthur" he says pointing at some men following the train.

I duck and take cover ready to fight when a shot from my back makes me jump.

"JOHN!"

I look at the man as he tries to balance on the edge of the car. The bullet hit him on the chest.

I reach out a hand to take him and for a second our hands touch, but it is too little for me to grab him and avoid his fall.

"NO!" I yell looking at his body hitting the ground as the train keeps going.

Another shot makes me turn around and I see Arthur with his gun pointed at a man who now is falling from the carriage roof.

"I'll get John, you protect that money" shouts Dutch before making his horse turn around and going away.

Micah, Javier and Joe follow him.

I instinctively look at the point in the distance where John disappeared from my view.

He can't be dead, he just can't.

"Man the gun Arthur, I'll go stop the train" says Bill from behind me.

"Stop the train? Whatever you do, do not stop the train. You secure up ahead, but keep us moving. I'll deal with that patrol when they come through" replies Arthur.

"I'm coming with you" I say to Bill.

He runs forward keeping his rifle high, ready to fire to anything that moves.

On our way to the engine we find some more men. We take cover and kill them as fast as we can before moving.

"This must be where they keep the money" he states as we reach a steel carriage with a heavy door to protect it.

"First the driver, we must be sure he doesn't stop this damn thing" I say.

We climb the iron ladder and get to the roof. I can see the engine, a couple of carriages forward, but there's no driver inside.

"Where is he?" I ask.

As an answer Bill runs until he reaches the end of the roof and then jumps down, disappearing from my sight. I follow him, landing on another flat car. There, I find him struggling with a man, a man with a driver hat.

The man is skinny and short and he seems to have no chance against Bill who forces him to take a few steps backwards until he reaches the edge of the car.

"Don't kill him we…"

The man grabs Bill's rifle who, to free himself from his grab, punches him in the face and makes him fall out of the train.

"… need him alive" I end my sentence.

Bill realizes what he's just done and turns to look at me.

"Well done" I say walking past him to get to the engine.

"What should we do?" I ask when we get there.

"I'd like to remind you Morgan and Marston blew up the bridge. So if we don't stop this thing we'll all die" he yells above the roar of the engine.

"Okay, so… what should we do?" I repeat pointing at all the levers and buttons.

"I guess… this is it" he replies grabbing a red wooden lever and pulling it down.

I hear a loud crack and then Bill shows me the red piece of wood that broke in his hand.

"Oooh you must be kidding me!" I yell.

"It ain't my fault…"

"There's no time for this, we have to go back and tell the others" I reply moving him aside and walking away.

When we reach them, Arthur, Sadie and Cleet are taking the money from the vault carriage. It seems they busted the door open with some dynamite.

"Morgan, the driver's dead and this thing ain't stopping, we got to get off" shouts Bill.

Yeah, of course he made it sound like it wasn't his fault.

"Okay, let's go. Take this" he adds to me handing me a bag of money.

I take it, throw it out of the train and then jump, without even thinking about it.

This time I land on my knees and then on my elbows, feeling the skin opening with a deep sting when I hit the ground.

These cuts will hurt like hell tomorrow, I think sitting upright and checking the blood stains on my arms.

I turn to my left as soon as I hear the loud sound of steel against steel.

We jumped just in time, the train already disappeared from my sight, crashing down the cliff.

I take the hand Sadie is reaching out for me and stand up. With Bill and Cleet we reach Arthur on the cliff edge to look at the disaster.

"Jesus…" whispers Cleet next to me.

"We're alive" he states then with relief.

"Yeah, just about" replies Arthur.

"Well, let's move" says Bill turning around and going away.

I go back to take the bag full of money just before Dutch and the others reach us.

I only need a glance to understand something is wrong. I'm missing a man.

"Where's John?" asks Arthur when he notices his absence too.

Dutch takes a moment before answering. He looks away and shakes his head.

"I tried… I tried" he says then.

My heart loses a beat.

"He didn't make it. That patrol killed him. We had to run" adds Micah.

No, it can't be.

I turn around to look fist at Dutch and then at Arthur who's keeping his eyes low.

No no no it can't be.

"Come on, let's go, before another patrol turns up" says Dutch going slowly away.

I throw the bag with the money on the ground and, with a void in place of my stomach, I face Arthur.

"Arthur…" I whisper.

He stares at me.

"We have to go look for him" I say.

"You heard Dutch, he's…"

His voice breaks.

"No, he can't be. We have to be sure…"

"The law probably took his body already, there's nothing we can do" he replies with a resigned tone.

"No, no" I keep saying while he walks past me to reach his horse.

I turn to look at Sadie, already on her horse, who shakes her head slightly as she looks at me with sorry eyes.

I breathe heavily and my eyes start burning, but not a single tear comes out.

I don't believe it, he can't be dead, he just can't because this would mean I have failed. Keep him alive, make him run away with Abigail and Jack was the only thing that mattered and I failed.

We all did.

Well hello friends!

Now I can call you friend. If you sustained me until this moment, you are my friend.

Here it's perfectly visible how Dutch is completely gone and in the end he's almost scary. Yes, scary, he has something in his voice - and here the voice actor has been amazing - that scares me.

Anyway, I hope you liked it. We almost made it, next chapter will be the last sooo see you soon!