AN: Just a trigger warning reminder. This chapter and some of the next few chapters will discuss self-harm and suicide.

Chapter Twenty-Six

Ana sat in a brightly lit room, beside a window that looked out over the sound. She was alone for now. She'd arrived Westpoint a little over an hour ago after receiving a thorough evaluation at Harborview by her new primary psychiatrist Doctor Lorna Mitchell. Lorna was younger than Mary, she barely looked that much older than Ana really, she had shoulder-length blonde hair, sparkling blue eyes and was dressed casually in jeans and a sweater, she didn't look like a psychiatrist. She was nice and Ana liked her so far.

Mary and Christian had delivered her to Westpoint. Christian had been given a list by Mary the previous evening of things to pack and he'd ensured that Ana had a bag with everything she needed in. Saying goodbye had been heart-breaking because she knew, from what Mary had told her, that it would be a while before she even spoke to Christian again. Therapy was now about her, she needed to focus on her own mental health and wellbeing and that's what she was going to get the opportunity to do. But it broke her heart having to say goodbye to Christian with no idea when she'd even hear his voice again.

She'd broken down then, hysterically and she'd tried to run after Christian who had done as Mary had asked him and dropped her off and left immediately. Once they were through the door, Mary and Lorna had medicated her to bring her down and when she was finally calm enough, they'd deposited her in this room and left her while they went to get everything else organised. Mary had said goodbye quickly too just before she left the room, with a tear in her eye she'd left Ana behind and Ana knew she wouldn't see her again for a while either.

The room she figured was a therapy room. It had two large windows that overlooked the sound, white walls, and a navy carpet. There was the couch Ana was sitting on which was navy cotton with bright yellow cushions, and standing opposite was a matching, sleek, modern armchair. There were plastic flowers on the coffee table and a small bookshelf with more plastic plants off to the side of the door. Other than that, the room was bare.

When the door finally went, Ana jumped but quickly shook her head and pulled herself together, not wanting to appear weak. Her fight or flight instincts were on high alert and she knew flight wasn't an option right now but knew that fight wouldn't help her either.

"Hi Ana, how are you feeling?" Lorna asked as she came over to the armchair. In her hands, she had a thick file that Ana figured was hers from Mary, and a legal pad and pen.

"I'm fine." Ana replied to which Lorna cocked an eyebrow and smirked. "What?" Ana snapped.

"I don't think fine is a typical emotion for when we've been put in a residential psychiatric facility." Lorna teased and Ana bit her lip to stop the angry retort that threatened to spill. "How are you feeling?" She asked again but Ana just shrugged, there were no words for how she was feeling right now. "Really, that's all you're going to give me?" She pushed again, she knew what she was doing. Ana was locking herself in, it was very normal behaviour, under the circumstances, and so Lorna knew exactly how to respond, with kindness, being open and approachable and making it clear that Ana was safe here. "Ok, we'll try something else, how do you feel knowing that Mary and I are in agreement that you need to be committed?" Lorna had barely finished the sentence when Ana's nostrils flared, she brought her hand up to her mouth, tucked the sleeve of her hooded jacket over her thumb before she began biting at it.

"Don't do that." Lorna said leaning forward to take Ana's hand from her mouth.

"I'm doing it to stop myself lashing out." Ana replied before taking her hand back to her mouth.

"Why do you want to lash out?" Lorna asked, hiding all trace of the relief she felt that she'd actually managed to get something out of Ana. She was good at her job but she had been warned by Mary this would likely be the most challenging case of her career.

Ana didn't respond, she didn't want to be here, she didn't want to talk to this woman, she wanted to go home and be with Christian.

"Ana I'm not here to judge you, I'm here to help but you have to engage with me." Lorna said trying not to show she was getting frustrated, that would escalate things and she didn't want that, the fact Ana was trying not to lash out right now was a good thing, they wouldn't be able to keep her at Westpoint long if she was violent because they had to think about the safety and wellbeing of their other patients too. This wasn't a secure psychiatric facility in the traditional sense, it was a residential care home, they weren't equipped for severe mental health issues that included violence and psychosis.

"I don't want to speak with you!" Ana snapped, slamming her hands down either side of her, glaring at Lorna.

"Ok." Lorna smiled deciding it was a good time to back off. "How about I show you to your room and you can get unpacked, then we can meet with your secondary therapist, family therapist, and nurse?"

"Why so many people?" Ana asked her intrigue getting the better of her, Lorna again hid a smirk, maybe the best way to get Ana to talk was by not trying to get her to talk.

"Well we're a team here Ana, each patient has a primary, secondary, family therapist and a nurse. The Primary and Secondary are unique to you, two to one at all times with one always being on the premises so you've always got someone to talk to when you want to and then the family therapist does as describes, works with you and the family to help prepare for the transition home and then the nurse is here to deal with your physical health, manage any drugs, and so on. There's also a decent size team of councillors who work with you on various therapies." Lorna explained gently, Mary would have explained all this before the evaluation but it was clear Ana hadn't taken any of that in.

"How many other patients?"

"Five plus you makes six." Lorna replied, they only had six beds, it meant that they were a close small team where the attention was easier to give. "When we meet with everyone, we can discuss your program for the next few weeks, it will be flexible of course as your needs change."

"I don't want to be here." Ana replied and Lorna gave a sympathetic smile, her pink little lips tightening almost in a grimace.

"You don't want to be here at Westpoint or you don't want to be here in life?" Lorna asked, she knew Ana was suicidal but she wanted to know how honest Ana would be with her.

"Both I guess." Ana replied looking at the floor.

"So if I said you could go home now, what would you do?" Lorna questioned glad to finally be getting something out of Ana, even if it was nothing she didn't know already.

"I'd go be with Christian." Ana smiled sadly. "Hope that maybe he would make me happy enough."

"Happy enough to what?" Lorna continued, knowing exactly where this was going but desperate to know if Ana would be open with her.

"Happy enough…" Ana shrugged, sighed and closed her eyes. "That I wouldn't want to die anymore."

"Have you thought about how you'd do it?" Lorna asked, something Mary hadn't broached with Ana but it was important to figure out what exactly her true mindset was.

"I know how I'd do it." Ana replied looking into the blue eyes of the shrink, determination firing up in them. "Exactly how, exactly where."

"Just not when." Lorna replied and Ana shrugged, she had a few dates in mind that were significant to her that she may have considered. "Ok, come on let's get you to your room."

Lorna led Ana through the white-walled corridor with crazy colourful artwork lining them and drawing her eye, up the stairs onto the first floor. Ana's room was at the end of the hallway and the moment she walked in she knew she would be sharing.

"So Lacey sleeps in that bed." Lorna said. "Lacey is nineteen, she's amazing I'm sure you'll get on great." Ana nodded, she wasn't here to make friends but she knew she had to be here and couldn't argue about the fact that she was going to be sharing a room. Her bag was on the floor, the contents neat on the bed ready for her to put away. "They will have searched your bag, removed anything that you couldn't have." Lorna explained as Ana picked up the pile of pictures and began going through them, they were mainly of her and Christian, but a couple of Grace and her too and one of her father and her. Tears flooded Ana's eyes as she thought about her family.

"It's ok to be sad Ana." Lorna said, her hand going gently to Ana's shoulder but she shrugged away violently, she didn't want anyone to be touching her right now. "Ok, look I'm going to get your team ready, I'll come and get you in about half an hour ok?" Ana said nothing, just continued to stare at the pictures and Lorna headed off downstairs. Mary's words rang in Lorna's ears as she made her way, this will be the most challenging case of your career, so far, it was going as she'd expected it to though. Ana's arrival was not much different from any other young person, if anything, Ana's had been calmer than many arrivals she'd experienced.

Lorna tracked down each of the team members and they all went through to the conference room to chat before Ana would be brought to join them.

"Well how is she?" Sandra Lee asked, she was the secondary on Ana's case and had been very intrigued to learn about their new patient.

"A mess." Lorna admitted as they all sat around the conference table with notebooks and pens. "She's been to hell and back guys and I don't think this is going to be our usual three days before engagement, we'll be lucky if she trusts one of us enough in a week to even begin opening up and even then… she's been to hell." Lorna had been given a full history by Mary, so she knew the ins and outs of Ana's past and what she'd been dealing with since then. It was one of the very few times learning about a new patient had made her cry.

"So what do you think?" Nancy, the nurse asked knowing there had to be a plan of action.

"Well, our number one priority right now is to keep her safe from herself. She is suicidal, she has self-harmed, when you see her, you'll see the scratches on her face and neck, she did that to herself and her arms are covered top to bottom in deep scratches. They cut her nails at Harborview but we may need to keep on top of that. Nancy, I'm sure you'll be happy to take care of the wounds."

"Of course." Nancy replied scribbling it onto her notepad.

"The first week is going to be rough." Lorna stated. "But if we pull together, she'll be ok."

"What about family?" Jasmine asked, she was the resident family therapist therefore that was her priority.

"Ana went missing when she was five years old, she was held captive for three years before she made it into the system, she met her fiancé Christian in May and they are engaged to be married, her father is in the picture but only since about August, she's incredibly close with Christian's family his mother and father Grace and Carrick but other than that, Ana doesn't have family."

"So, we will need to work on family therapy based on whatever she brings up in therapy otherwise. Go from there, I don't think pressurising her into focusing on familial relationships will help." Jasmine replied scribbling in her own notebook, this was a new one on her, the kids who came here came from well off families typically so to have someone who technically had little family was completely new territory.

"I think the most important relationship for her is the one with Grace, her fiancé's mother, they are incredibly close. Her community psychiatrist said that all of Ana's personal revelations have been made to the mother in law to be." Lorna explained and Jasmine nodded, if she could find out that the relationship was close enough to be considered mother and daughter, she could work with that.

"Who is your primary contact?" Sandra asked.

"Her fiancée." Lorna replied, because this therapy was focused on young people, communication with the family was continuous and despite the fact Ana was a legal adult, she had elected Christian to receive updates about her progress and care while she remained at Westpoint. "Ok, so the summary is Complex PTSD, Chronic Anxiety, Stockholm syndrome, self-harming, suicidal ideation and an eating disorder each one bringing about a challenge of its own. From the community psychiatrist's perspective the self-harm, suicidal ideation and eating disorder are symptoms of the PTSD and Anxiety but we will need to make sure of that as the weeks progress there has been a mention of possible mental illness in the biological mother but none confirmed. I am going to ask the fiancée to see if he can find out more just in case we're looking at a possible mental illness too. So we are going to need to make sure she has an eating plan and food diary, Nancy can I ask you to focus on that we need to monitor her weight and measurements too. Sandra the primary has already tried and failed with Exposure therapy I think CPT, DBT would likely be the best way to go. DBT will be best with dealing with Stockholm which led to the psychosis." Sandra nodded as she scribbled it down, they always worked as a team, but she had a feeling that this one was going to pull them closer together. "If everyone is ok with that, I'm going to get Ana."

Across town, Christian sat with John Flynn and his mother, they'd come together for a family therapy session to deal with everything that had happened in the last couple of days with Ana.

"So she's at Westpoint now?"

"Yes, the committal hearing is in the morning." Christian replied sourly, he hated the fact they were doing this to her.

"You're unhappy about that?" Flynn asked, glancing at Grace who had been very quiet since they'd started.

"She's been through enough." Christian replied.

"She's been through too much Christian, that's why she needs this help now." Grace said and John realised that while Grace was supporting the need for Ana to be admitted to the facility, Christian was against it and this might have been a part of the problem between the pair of them right now, they needed to be working together to support Ana.

"I just… she's been through so much and now she feels we're all abandoning her." Christian replied. "I hate this John…"

"I know it's really difficult for you right now Christian, but it sounds like Ana's gone too far to be helped by love alone."

"Christian we've explained this to you, Ana is suicidal." Grace snapped. "She's in the best place right now, she's getting the help she needs."

"Do you understand that Christian?" John asked, very worried about how Christian was coping with this, the typically strong man seemed broken in front of him and he was hoping it wasn't going to be the beginning of his client's deteriorating mental health.

"I understand." He sighed. "I just… I wish it didn't have to be this way."

"It's not forever." Grace said finally sitting upright and taking Christian's hand in her own. "She's going to get better and if she gives the therapy a real chance, Mary told you, she'll come out of there a new woman." John smiled, he loved seeing how Grace was with Christian, they clearly had grown a special bond with each other through Ana and her tribulations. Christian dug his palms into his eyes to try and hold back his tears.

"I just hate the thought of her in a strange place, on her own…"

"You delivered her there Christian, you met her psychiatrist, you said she seemed nice. She'll take care of her." Grace reassured glancing at John for reassurance for herself that she was saying the right things.

"I want to kill them. Elena and Eric… I want to so badly…" He spat clenching his fists as he pulled them from his face.

"I do too." Grace said making Christian at least crack a smile. "But guess what, we can't, but we can help Ana."

"How can I help her when she's there, I won't be allowed to visit or call until they say it's ok!" Christian was furious about this, he didn't understand why he wouldn't be able to visit her, she needed him and he needed her.

"You help her by being strong." John replied. "Face your own daemons, coping mechanisms, so that when that day comes and you get to speak with her she won't feel your anxieties and worries. We can help you Christian, your Mom and me, but you have to work with us and let Westpoint worry about Ana."

Christian left John's office feeling as heavy as he went in. While he respected what his mother and John had said it didn't make it easier that he didn't know when he'd next hear from Ana. As he and Grace climbed into the car his phone rang and he was relieved to see it was Westpoint. The psychiatrist had said she'd call to let him know how Ana was settling in.

"Hello?" He answered already putting it on speaker so his mother could hear the conversation too.

Hi, Christian, it's Lorna from Westpoint.

"Hi Lorna." Christian said trying not to just ask for an update, he needed to give the shrink time and he knew that but he just wanted to know how Ana was.

So, Ana has had her first interview with me, she was reluctant to talk but that's completely common for our patients when they first come in. She's unpacked and reluctantly engaged in our first meeting with her team but she's met everyone now and so that's a great start.

Christian rolled his eyes, it all sounded so positive but he knew better than that, reluctant to talk meant she'd likely told them she wouldn't talk and reluctantly engaged meant she stayed in the room for the entire session, it didn't mean she'd cooperated.

"Ok." He said not knowing what else to say to her, what exactly could he say or ask right now, Ana had only been there five minutes.

She'll see the nurse after some lunch, and then I'll take her for a walk around the grounds and have some downtime before dinner and then group therapy. She'll be fine Christian.

"You'll call me if there's a problem." He demanded.

Of course and I will call you otherwise in a couple of days once she's settled.

"Thank you." He replied glancing at his mother who was listening intently.

We'll speak soon, take care.

"Bye." Christian replied before ending the call and dropping his head into his hands, this had really happened and there was nothing he could do about it.

At Westpoint Ana sat nervously in the nurse's office with Nancy, a lovely older nurse who reminded Ana of Grace and Mary and seemed to add to her homesickness.

"So, I am going to run through your vitals, we'll weigh and measure you, take some bloods and then I'm sorry but I've got some questions I need to ask, is that ok?" Nancy asked softly, her green eyes on Ana the entire time while Ana stared at the cheap white linoleum flooring in the nurse's office. Nancy nodded realising she wasn't getting anything out of Ana right now but thankfully as she started making her way through the chart she needed to fill in about Ana's overall health, Ana cooperated with her, without looking at her and without speaking to her.

She took all of Ana's vitals, weight, measurement, she changed the dressing on Ana's wounds, put cream on the ones on her face, all without passing an ounce of judgement which was something Ana felt the entire time. While she hadn't spoken a word to Nancy, just like she hadn't spoken a word in their stupid little get to know you meeting, she felt like Nancy was a safe person who cared. Was it because she reminded her of Grace and Mary? She didn't know, but she felt safe here with her.

"Ok so Ana, I really need you to talk to me now." Nancy said taking her wheeled desk chair from the computer at the end of the room and bringing it to the chair Ana was sitting in with her hands shoved into her hoody pockets. "Do you smoke?" Ana shook her head. "Drugs?" Again Ana shook her head. "Have you ever done drugs?" She asked and Ana shook her head, so far this was easy, she didn't need to speak. "Alcohol." Ana shrugged. "Ana please, when did you last drink alcohol?"

"Few days ago." Ana whispered. "Just a glass of wine. I'm not a big drinker." She said glancing at Nancy briefly just to look away again. Nancy smiled, at least she'd managed to get something out of her.

"Family history…" Nancy read but then she stopped remembering what Lorna had said in their conference meeting.

"I don't have any biological family." Ana said quietly and Nancy reached over and squeezed Ana's knee, feeling stupid for just reading the form without thinking.

"Do you have any health conditions?"

"No." Ana replied.

"Birth control?" Nancy asked.

"IUD." Ana replied.

"Copper or hormonal?"

"Uh the Mirena?" Ana didn't know the difference.

"How long have you had it?"

"About two years." Ana replied, she knew she was needing to get it changed soon, for her own peace of mind if nothing else.

"Do you think your mental health deteriorated after you had it put in?" Nancy asked and Ana shook her head, it was way back when she had the IUD compared to when all this had started. "Ok. Well, I think you're a very healthy young woman." Nancy said which had Ana looking at her in surprise. "Physically you're fine, I'm happy with everything but we'll check on you every couple of days, and if there are any changes to your medications or anything we'll increase vital checks."

"Ok." Ana nodded, going with the flow because she had no other options. "So what now?"

"I'm going to take you to meet with Lorna and I think she's going to take you for a walk." Nancy smiled and Ana nodded, again knowing she had no other option but to go with the flow.

Lorna had been waiting for Ana to finish with Nancy in the kitchen, for the next few days she knew they would all be flying by the seat of their pants and that was ok, it was whether or not they'd have a day three breakthrough that worried Lorna. With most of the kids that walked through the door, they all knew day three was the day they'd finally get somewhere, but she didn't know if it would happen with Ana. Ana had experienced trauma on a scale none of them had experienced in their careers before and possibly never experience again. The fact Ana was even alive after all these years to tell her story was something so incredibly moving that made anyone who knew her story determined to help her, she'd survived the abuse, she could survive this.

Ana looked a little bit more comfortable when she entered with Nancy but she barely looked in Lorna's direction. Nancy gave Lorna a wink, a sign she'd managed to get something out of Ana who had declared herself mute since the meeting that morning, refusing to even go into the dining room at lunchtime and then remained quiet in the build-up to the meeting with the nurse. Mutism was a control mechanism, a survival technique and they knew it would likely not last very long.

"So I thought we'd take a walk in the grounds, we have a couple of acers." Lorna said as Nancy left them. "I grabbed your coat, it's nippy." Lorna added lifting Ana's brand-new black coat that Christian had bought for her in his panic over what she needed to take with her to the facility.

Ana slipped on her coat and followed Lorna out through the back door, down the steps of the house and into the grounds. Glancing over her shoulder Ana looked at the house, that's all it was, a house, a white-framed house plonked in the middle of nowhere on the outskirts of Seattle, hiding away these teenagers and young adults from the world. If one didn't know what it was, looking at the building you'd never figure it out. Turning back to the path they were on Ana studied the perfectly mowed lawn and the trees, it reminded her of Aspen and it made her miss Christian even more. If she'd stayed there and not come home, this wouldn't have happened.

"I know you're probably very frightened Ana, but I'm hoping we've shown you so far that we're not scary people." Lorna said as she strolled along the path, Ana beside her. She didn't look at her patient, there was no point at this stage, not looking was probably helping more right now, it forced her to listen and not read into things unnecessarily. "We are going to help you." Ana scoffed, she couldn't help it. Lorna rolled her eyes, it was the exact response she'd hoped for. "Mary says you engaged well with her at the beginning but things changed after your memories came back. We can address that, safely, we don't need to do any exposure, we're not going to force you to remember…"

"Do you think Mary caused this?" Ana asked stopping stock still, her temper getting the better of her. She clenched her little fists beside her.

"No. Not at all." Lorna said turning when she realised Ana had stopped. "Mary explained that before the memories came back it was working well and it would have but now you have all these fresh, raw memories…"

"Mary isn't at fault for any of this, she helped me!" Ana yelled unable to cope with the idea that they wouldn't agree with the one person who had been taking care of her through this.

"I know." Lorna said her hands going up beside her head. "I know Ana I promise, I know Mary is an amazing psychiatrist and she has done so much for you." Ana kicked at the ground, unsure what to do with herself. "Come on, let's walk." Lorna encouraged and still looking at the floor, Ana started to move again. "It's just we know that with raw memories, that kind of therapy will do more harm than good, that's why Mary stopped after the memories came back."

They walked further in silence, Lorna giving Ana the time to process, the time to ask questions if she wanted to, time to just breathe too in the open air, away from the house and the pressures that being in a residential facility could bring.

"Mary said your goal was to be happy." Lorna said after they'd walked a little further along the path, just where it started to curve to bring them back towards the house. Ana was looking at the pond on the other side of the fence and the horses grazing in the distance. "Do you still want to be happy Ana?" Lorna asked now glancing at her patient to see if she'd get a response, Ana managed a shrug. "I think it's an achievable goal." Lorna said which Ana scoffed at and rolled her eyes. "I know you don't feel like it now, but with therapy…"

"Just stop it!" Ana yelled stopping. "Stop patronising me, stop manipulating me, you don't know a thing about me just stop it!"

"Ok." Lorna replied again stepping into Ana's eyeline, her hands by her head to try and show she wasn't a threat. "I'm sorry if I offended you."

"You're still doing it! Stop patronising me!" Ana snapped. "I get it, if I want to get better I have to engage but maybe I don't want to get better maybe I'm happy living like this with the fucking memories of everything those bastards did to me swimming around my head non-stop like some sick carousel, laughing me… just stop it…" Ana clutched at her head with her hands as she fought against the memories that flooded her now, she couldn't help it, they were there all the time, assaulting her over and over again and every time they tried to get her to open up the memories flooded back, more vivid, more colourful, more detailed, it made her sick to her stomach, she could feel their hands on her body…

"Ana… Ana focus on me darling, they're not here, I promise you, it's just you and me… you're safe Ana." Lorna stood as close as she dared to Ana as she realised she was having flashbacks. She was standing, firm, her eyes wide like a wild animal but glassy and distant. It was a look Lorna had seen many times before. "Shh Ana, I'm here… you're safe." She didn't dare touch her, she knew a patient like Ana could be violent if she was touched right now but vocal reassurances should go a long way to help.

When Ana finally blinked she looked at Lorna who looked as calm as a cucumber, it was a good sign she'd not reacted physically.

"You're safe." Lorna reassured again realising Ana was back with her. "Why don't we go back to the house so you can rest, flashbacks can be exhausting." Ana tried and failed to hide her surprise, Lorna knew she'd had a flashback without her saying a word. They walked in silence back to the house and Lorna took Ana up to bed so she could rest a while, if nothing else, it would allow her to come to terms with what had just happened and maybe even accept that she could have help here, as long as she worked with them.