This is not the last chapter, there will be more. However, enjoy this chapter, lol.
Bella was up with the dawn, unable to sleep any longer with how her nerves were on edge. She had dressed carefully in her cleanest, least worn set of clothes, making sure that her feet were neatly brushed and presentable. She cobbled together a breakfast with the last of their supplies, figuring that since they would be in Erebor shortly, they would be able to eat once they'd gotten there. The rest of the group were chattering happily about who they wanted to see and what they wanted to eat once they reached the mountain. A raven had found them that morning, so Fili had sent word that they would be arriving that day. The large stately bird had bowed before taking off to carry word to those who were waiting.
Bella was silent, her anxiety eating at her, but not wanting to bring down the cheerful mood of the company. Dwalin noticed her nerves though and pulled her into a gentle hug. She leaned against his sturdy form, pulling strength and comfort from his solid presence. Finally, she pulled back and gave him a small smile. He chucked her gently under the chin and a small nod before turning and packing up his belongings.
Then the barge was there and they were scrambling to load themselves and the ponies onto it. Remembering her fear of the water, Fili sat in the center of the boat and pulled her down onto his lap. Fishing out his comb, he started working through her hair, humming gently. Once he was satisfied that he had gotten all of the snarls out, he started twisting it into braids, much more elaborate than she was used to.
Distracted from the water and their impending arrival at Erebor, she asked curiously, "What are you doing?"
He finished a braid and immediately started another one, "These are just the more formal versions of your braids. These ones declare you a daughter of the line of Fundin, they hold the place of honor since we're not yet wed. When we marry, they will move to the secondary place and the braids marking you as part of the line of Durin will move to the most prominent place. You're betrothal braid will remain the same, but I've added some braids here that mark you as a future princess of Erebor. Since we're betrothed, not just courting, that will help emphasis our promise to each other."
He paused for a moment, weaving several smaller braids into an intricate larger one. Once he was satisfied that he had it just so, he continued, "These ones here mark you as part of the company of Thorin Oakenshield as well as dragon riddler. Finally, these last little bit declares your craft of horticulture, although I have left your status indeterminate. I know that you're a master, but you'll have to be approved by either one of the guilds, or if there is none, then by Balin."
She rolled her eyes, "There's no way that I'm a master."
He shook his head stubbornly, "You are definitely a master. There, all done."
She motioned Dwalin over, "Adad, tell him that I'm not a master horticulturist. Also, these braids feel ridiculously elaborate."
Dwalin examined her hair closely then nodded his approval to Fili, "Good work lad, they're downright fetching." Turning his attention to Bella, he said quietly, one corner of his mouth quirked up in amusement, "Sorry, natha, the lad's right. You've got a gift with plants. Also, those braids are fairly simple, but elegant. So many dwarves think that more elaborate is better, never realizing how ridiculously overdone they look. You want lines that you can appreciate, ones that compliment a story, instead of trying to cram every last bit of your deeds and such out there."
She muttered, "Traitor." However, she knew that he could see the affection in her eyes as well.
He held out his hand and lifted her easily to her feet. "C'mon, we're almost to the other side. Get ready to disembark."
She nodded, moving over and gathering her pack. She was relieved to see that Dwalin had spoken the truth, they were almost at the other side of Long Lake already. The trip had seemed much faster this time, although she wasn't totally frazzled from Mirkwood, so that probably had something to do with it as well. Examining the land, she was pleased to see it covered with green, unlike the bleak desolation that they had crossed last time.
The boat nudged against the shore and she braced herself absently against the pony. She had never thought that she'd be back here, never thought that she'd see the silhouette of Erebor standing solitary and proud against the sky. She hadn't realized how much it would feel like home. Bofur moved over to her side and stood silently for a moment before asking quietly, "Good memories or bad, lass?"
She sighed, rubbing the pony's nose absently, "A few bad, but mostly good. You know, I never thought that I would see her again. I know that I wasn't there long, but it felt like home to me. Sometimes, it was almost like she sang to me. I've missed it here."
Bofur smiled at her, "See, it's a sign that you're meant to be with us where you've heard Erebor's song. She doesn't sing for those she doesn't like, you know. C'mon, we'd best get moving now if we want to reach Erebor while we still have the light."
Bella pulled herself away from her thoughts and started leading the ponies off the barge. It took only a minute for everyone to disembark and mount up. The whole group was eager to reach the mountain and the kin that were awaiting them there. She distracted herself from thoughts of the impending reunion by observing the land as they rode. Every so often, she would point out a spot that would be particularly good for one crop or another. She'd caught the smug glances that Fili and Dwalin were exchanging. This was simple knowledge, something that any hobbit would know.
It only took a few hours ride to reach the front gates of Erebor. Bella abruptly reined her pony to a halt, taking a minute to drink in the imposing edifice. It had changed drastically since the last time she'd seen it, carefully repaired with enormous gates gleaming in the sunlight. She observed the battlement dispassionately, surprised to find that she had no fear of it, no revulsion or loathing. It just, was.
However, the thought of all those waiting on the other side of the gate suddenly terrified her. Dismounting, she fought to even out her breathing, her head starting to swim. Suddenly, Fili's arms were there around her. "Amralime, what is it? What's wrong?" The arms around her tensed, "Is it the wall? I didn't even think of that, ghivashel."
She shook her head, burrowing her hands into the fur on his coat. "It's not that, I do not fear it, it is just a place to me, nothing more."
He ran his hand soothingly up and down her back, "Then what is it, love?"
She leaned further into him, "I can't do this, Fili, I just can't."
She tipped her face back just in time to see him frown, "Can't do what?"
She pleaded silently with him for him to understand, "I can't do this, I can't be a princess. You were raised all your life knowing and preparing for the crown and the throne of Erebor. But I'm just a hobbit, they will hate me for sure. And what about the rest of the company? What if they hate me when the memories come back. I don't think that I'm strong enough for this."
His frown disappeared and he leaned down, pressing his forehead firmly to hers, his lips turned up in a tender smile, "Ah, this again."
Her eyes narrowed at that cryptic remark, "What do you mean by that?"
The smile deepened, his eyes warm and such a bright blue that they reminded her of a perfect summer sky, "This is Beorn's all over again. You are worried about things that may never come to pass. I may never sit on the throne, Thorin may marry and have children, replacing me entirely. Even if he doesn't, it will be years and years before I take the throne, time to learn and get to know the dwarves of Erebor and for them to know you. All who know you cannot help but care for you, even stubborn dwarrow. As for the company, well, you have carried the memories of us all this time, although you do not know what happened after you left Erebor. However, my memories have come back in full, they were all desperately worried about you. Even more so after we learned about the armies. There was almost a coup right then and there. If we hadn't lost our memories of you, we would've torn apart all of Arda to find you and bring you safely home."
She let out a weak chuckle, "I'm being foolish, aren't I?"
He shook his head, "No, never foolish. Cautious. But let's take it one step at a time, together, all right?"
She leaned up and pressed her lips gently to his, pulling back before he could return the kiss. She smiled impishly at him, "Why did I have to fall for such an overwhelmingly practical dwarf. Very well, we'll take it as it comes and see what happens. But remember, Dwalin's my adad now, so if thing's go wrong, I reserve the right to set him on you." She stepped away from him before she could give into temptation and kiss him again, she'd held up proceedings long enough.
Fili chuckled quietly at that, offering her his arm, "Ah, you are quite cruel indeed." When she took his arm, he questioned softly, "Are you all right or do you need another few minutes? We have the time."
She shook her head, "No, best to get this over with before I fret myself to death." She turned her attention to where the rest of the group were patiently waiting for them. She asked curiously, "Why didn't they go ahead?"
He pulled her fractionally closer, "We're not entering Erebor without you again. Now go reassure your adad, he's beating himself up about not saving you that morning."
Giving Fili's arm a quick squeeze that she hoped conveyed just how much she loved him, she released him and made her way over to Dwalin, "Sorry about that. Silly fears. Not the battlements, oddly enough. You know, I can't even tell that it was broken and I saw it firsthand? Dwarven architecture is surely a marvel."
Dwalin tucked her close to his side as they started across the bridge that led into Erebor, "If not that, what were you fretting about, mizimith?"
She frowned up at him, "It just struck me that I'm going to be a princess. I don't know how to do any princessy stuff. The dwarves are going to hate me and I don't blame them. But Fili made me promise to take it one day at a time."
Dwalin chuckled, "I wondered when that was going to sink it, took a lot longer than I expected it would. And lass, you've seen Kili, you'll be just fine. Besides, ninety-five percent of being royalty seems to be pretending that you know what you're doing and ordering people around."
They reached the hall inside the gates and the sight of it took her breath away. When she had been in Erebor, the foundation had still been strong, but it had been damaged and in disrepair. In the time since then, it had been repaired to it's former glory and the magnificence of it stole her breath. That was until she heard the joyous cries of reunion.
She was turning her head to look, when something came flying at her head. Her hand snapped up automatically and she snatched it out of the air, wondering who had attacked her. Opening her hand, she was puzzled to find a coin pouch. A low whistle split the air and a familiar voice said, "That was for Dwalin, your reflexes have improved, little burglar."
Turning her head, she grinned at the star headed dwarf standing there. Shoving the purse into Dwalin's hand, she dashed over and hugged Nori hard. He laughed and hugged her back tightly, picking her up and spinning her around. "Aren't you a sight for sore eyes! We've missed you, sneaky one!" He set her down on her feet and she carefully observed the rest of them.
Dori was checking Ori over carefully, making sure that he hadn't come to any harm while he was away. Bofur and Bifur were chatting with Bombur and a brood of children that would make a hobbit proud. Kili was being hugged by a dam that looked a lot like Thorin, the Lady Dis if she guessed correctly. The rest of the company was absent, but she figured that she would see them at the evening meal. It made no sense for all of them to come and greet them while they had work to do.
Bella beamed at Nori, "Oh, how I've missed all of you as well, impudent one. And I bet that your ego's only grown since Thorin has named you spymaster."
Nori preened at that but before he could say anything, Balin bustled into the hall, slightly out of breath. "Sorry that I'm late, everyone. Meeting ran over a bit."
Dwalin grinned brightly at that and roared, "Brother, we're home."
They bashed their foreheads together and Bella couldn't quite hide a wince. She didn't think that she'd ever quite get used to that form of greeting. The reunions were noisy and joyous, but the chatter died when Dwalin boomed, "Come nadad, and greet your iraknatha."
Nori turned and examined her, just now seeming to notice her braids. He muttered, "Now, that was something that I wasn't quite expecting. Thinking back over the quest though, it doesn't surprise me." She smiled, waiting to see how long it took him to realize that he remembered her. His eyes widened just as Balin bustled over and swept her into a hug, touching his forehead gently to hers in greeting.
Balin beamed at her, "Well then, lassie, welcome to the family. Mahal has blessed us indeed to get such a fine lass as you in our family. And it is such a relief to see you alive and well. We didn't know what they would find when they reached the Shire and it troubled us greatly when we realized that we couldn't remember you."
Bella had to blink back the happy tears burning at her eyes. She smiled up at him, giving him a brief hug, "That's a story for another time, when we are gathered someplace with just the company, someplace private."
He nodded his understanding and pulled back, looking her over carefully. His eyes twinkled when he examined her braids, "It's good to see that you and the lad worked things out. Not to mention that Erebor could really use a master horticulturist."
Dwalin grinned at him, "That's what I told her, nadad, but she refused to believe me."
Fili chose this moment to come over and steal her away, both Dwalin and Balin letting her go with understanding nods. Swallowing hard, she vaguely wished she was wearing something nicer before they were standing in front of the regal dwarrowdam that had been hugging Kili. "Amad, this is my Bella. Bella, my amad, Dis, daughter of Thrain, son of Thror."
Bella went to curtsy, but Dis's hand under her chin stopped her. The dam studied her closely for several moments, seeming to take in every aspect of Bella. The Dis let her go and pulled her into a warm hug, "Welcome Bella, heartsong of my eldest. I am relieved that he found you and that you have returned with him to us and Erebor. I can't wait to get to know you better, daughter."
At Dis's warm words, Bella's heart melted and she hugged her back fiercely. Although she didn't truly know Dis yet, she had a feeling that her mother would've liked the other woman and that was good enough for her. Not to mention that you just had to look at her sons to know what kind of woman she was.
Dis pulled back and looked her over before fussing, "Now look at you, all over road dust, weary, and hungry to boot. Why don't we go get you cleaned up and fed and you can tell me about some of what happened on your journey to Erebor."
At the thought of being clean, Bella nodded eagerly. Dis said, "Good, that's settled." When both Fili and Dwalin protested, Dis only shrugged, "You'll get her back at dinner time, maybe. Now go get cleaned up yourselves, you stink like pony."
Bella couldn't quite rein in her snickers. She had the sudden feeling that she and Dis were going to get along excellently.
Dinner was a merry affair, all of them rejoicing at being back together. Bella got to meet Gemma, Gloin's wife, who truly was as extraordinary as Gloin said, as well as Gimli, who was a mini Gloin. Bombur and his quiet wife Klevi had half a dozen pebbles and they brought joy to the entire company. If she'd thought that the first dinner at Bag End had been chaotic, this one was ten times more so. But this time, she wasn't surrounded by strangers but by family.
It wasn't until after dinner and the little ones had been tucked into bed that the talk turned to more serious things. It started off simply enough, the trip to the Shire and back. But then, it could be put off no longer and Bella told the tale of what had happened and all that had followed. The entire company was wide eyed and silent, Dis clinging to her sons as if they would disappear in front of her very eyes.
While she told her tale, Bella discretely watched Thorin. She knew that he had regained his memories, having seen the strain and hurt in his eyes every so often when he looked at her throughout the night, although he tried to keep up a cheerful demeanor for the rest of the company. When she finished her tale, Bella knew that the time had come to deal with Thorin, to lay to rest the incident once and for all, one way or the other. She met Fili's gaze and he nodded, his eyes warm and supportive.
Bella stood and moved over in front of Thorin. She said quietly, "I thought to have this meeting alone, Thorin. However, I think that since the entire company witnessed the event, they should witness this as well."
Shame filled his eyes and his shoulders slumped, "Whatever your wish, Mistress Baggins, I will obey."
She nodded firmly. "Thorin Oakenshield, king under the mountain. Thorin, son of Thrain, son of Thror. I have thought long and hard about what I would say or do should I ever meet you again. It has been months since then, indeed, nearly years, much of that time spent alone." He flinched at that, sinking further into his seat.
She didn't hesitate, but kept going. "That morning on the wall, you tried to kill me. I was shocked and hurt, it's true. Never would I have thought that possible. But in my journeys, I have come to find many things that I thought impossible happened, both good and bad. For that, you owe me a life debt." He went to speak and she held up a finger. "However, even during your goldsickness, the core of who you are remained." She pulled down her collar just enough so that he could see the edge of her mithril shirt. "You sought to protect me, knew that I was someone important to you and your kin. You gifted me with a mithril shirt that had been Dis's when she was younger. This gift proved to be invaluable, saving me many times on the battlefield and trip home. Thus, I consider your life debt repaid many times over."
He looked up at her, his expression confused, but she didn't allow her train of thought to be derailed. "The journey we went on, was a journey to reclaim your home that had been lost. One that was successful, Erebor was your home once more, although circumstances were unfortunate. I understand your pain, for that day, my home of Erebor was lost to me. However, there was a second journey, one that reclaimed my home for me and led me back here. Because of this, I understand better who you were and are."
She took a deep breath, holding his gaze and refusing to break away, "However, neither of these are the reason that I forgive and absolve you of your wrongdoing and ask for a promise. I forgive you because you were sick but not only that, your sickness was exacerbated by an item that I carried, an item that you had no knowledge of. The ring undoubtedly made the sickness worse. I forgive you because when it came down to it, you managed to do what no one else had done, not even your grandfather, and throw off the sickness. When you had to decide what was truly important, you chose the lives of your kin and your people, willing to give up your very life and everything that you had worked and fought so hard for."
She turned and smiled at Kili and then Fili, her heart, before turning back to Thorin. "But there is one more thing, one very important thing. When Mahal gave me the offer, my memories for your lives, I didn't stop and hesitate. I didn't argue that it was better if just Fili, or just Fili and Kili came back, it was all three of you or nothing. I didn't hesitate, I didn't have to think, all three of you were equally important to me. I was willing to never see the three of you again, so that ALL of you might live the life that you were meant to. You had apologize to me and I knew that you were you again, and I knew that you would make an incredible king and leader of your people. I have never doubted that."
His eyes were wide but his voice was steady as he asked hoarsely, "And what would you have me promise you?"
She smiled at him, her happiness at being back where she belonged shining brightly, "I'm not saying that it won't take time to regain the trust that was broken that day. As it is, you and Fili and you and Dwalin are going to have to figure out how to move forward from here. But I want you to promise to work towards building that future with us, towards being a real family again. I want you to promise me that you will work on forgiving yourself, for circumstances that were quite frankly beyond your control. And I want you to promise to take this second chance and live life fully, not just scrape and get by and do your duty like you have for so long. I want you to be happy and I want to be a family here in Erebor, until the end of our days."
Tears were in his eyes as he bowed his head, his voice hoarse and laden with emotion, "I promise you, Mistress Baggins, all of these things that you have asked for. And should you ever need anything, just say the word and it will be done."
Going over and cuddling into Fili's lap, suddenly feeling exhausted now that she had gotten that all straightened out and needing reassurance from her love, she managed to say cheekily, "How many times must I say it, Thorin? It's Bella. I'm going to be your niece, for Yavanna's sake. You'll have to get used to it sooner or later."
Thorin offered her a half smile, doubt and disbelief still in his eyes, "Bella then. I shall do my best to remember."
Fili's arms tightened around her and she snuggled happily into his chest. "Good, you do that." Yawning widely, she said, "Now, where can I sleep? I'm exhausted."
This managed to break the solemn mood that had fallen over the room, the company laughing at the sight of a very sleepy hobbit. Bella just yawned again and closed her eyes, pillowing her head on Fili's shoulder. The hardest part was over now, it would take time to truly heal, but they all had that time. Everything was going to be all right.
Notes:
Okay, for everyone thinking that Thorin took this waaaay too calmly, understand that the poor guy is in major shock. One, he only remembered what had happened when he arrived at the dinner. Two, dwarves carry grudges, forever the end, so Bella's forgiveness throws him for a loop as well. He will have to still deal with all the guilt and the angst, but this chapter was about dealing with new beginnings and homecomings.
I hope that makes sense.
Praying for peace, happiness, and health. We are strong together!
(Oh, I almost forgot. Dis saw the First gift while she and Bella were having their girl time. She pronounced it exquisitely done, which come from a gold smith of her caliber, is high praise indeed.)