TIMELINE: Post-canon; established relationship
Well, what do you want to do?
Staring up at the ceiling, Parad sighs for the umpteenth time and throws an arm over his eyes to block the array of holograms and pixels flying above him.
He needs a break because he's not going anywhere with this at all. Ugh.
"What are you doing?"
Startled, he turns his head to find Emu at the doorway of their study and wearing one of Parad's shirts and nothing else. The doctor has a bad case of bed hair and still looks sleepy, clutching his coffee mug like a lifeline. Parad marvels on how Emu can look both cute and sexy at the same time that he has to mentally shake himself so that he can answer Emu's question.
"Just thinking about the meaning of life," he drawls out from his position on the floor. Tilting his head, he smirks when Emu pads over to him without a care that he's giving Parad an eyeful. "And you're doing this on purpose, aren't you?"
Returning his smirk, Emu bends down to carefully place his mug on the low table and Parad swallows when the shirt rides up to reveal Emu's ass and the mess that's left behind from their activities the night before.
Yup, definitely on purpose.
And goddamn if it isn't working.
Catching his thoughts, Emu laughs before he lies down beside him.
Not to be upstaged, he drags Emu close by the back of the doctor's neck and proceeds to literally steal Emu's breath away; waking the doctor up in more ways than one. Once he breaks the kiss, Parad cackles at the dazed look in Emu's eyes, causing his partner to pout.
"I'll get you back for that later," Emu warns with a glint in his eyes.
He grins. "Looking forward to it."
Letting out a huff, Emu rests his head on his shoulder and stares up at the ceiling with him in silence. With the coffee and kiss waking him up, Parad can sense that Emu is starting to realise what exactly he's looking at when the paediatrician shifts his head away to examine the holograms better.
"...Are these career choices?"
Parad coughs once, eyes darting away. "Yeah."
"Not a job," Emu mutters thoughtfully. "Which is good because that way I know you're not doing this because you feel like you don't want to be a burden to me— which you are not."
Parad snaps his mouth closed at the stern glare Emu's sending him. Giving his partner a reassuring smile, he leans close to kiss Emu's cheek. "I know. I've gotten better in understanding that over the years, Emu."
"Good," Emu says, eyes softening as the doctor nuzzles his cheek; a habit that Emu has since picked up from him it seems. "A career, huh?"
"Yeah." Leaning into the familiar touch, Parad brushes his lips across Emu's fluttering eyelids. "Seeing you and everyone in CR— at everyone who's making a living by doing what they're passionate about...it makes me want that for myself too."
Emu mouths his jaw, then leans back enough to give him a warm smile. "I think you'll do great in whatever you choose, Parad."
Sighing, he frowns up at the holographic diagrams. "That's the whole problem, though. I don't know what to choose."
"Well," Emu muses, turning to look up at the holograms as well. "What do you want to do?"
Parad darts a glance at Emu, curious. "Want?"
"Want," Emu confirms, grasping his hand between them. "You told me once that for the longest time, you've just gone with the flow. Outside of me, games, and eventually our friends, you've never want much of anything for yourself."
Point. But well, it's sorta hard to want anything for himself ever since he achieved his original purpose back in Y2K.
He licks his lips, threading his fingers with Emu's. "Yeah. Never really see the point to it. I mean, I'm happy with all that I have now. But recently, it's like I told you. I want to be passionate about something— something that's not a hobby or interpersonal relationships."
"Something just for you and your future," Emu adds quietly, eyes taking on a faraway look.
"Yeah." Parad glances at Emu. "That's why you left the pro-gaming world all those years ago, isn't it."
Emu startles, darting a surprised glance at him before huffing out a laugh when he pointedly raises a brow at Emu. They've been intertwined with each other for years so it's pretty much a given to know about the other is thinking even without saying anything— bond or no bond.
"You're right." Emu leans his head against his. "Don't get me wrong, I love gaming but after meeting Kyoutarou-sensei all those years ago, I started to want to be someone who saves lives." A flash of pain and Emu sighs. "At first, it was like a penance for my suicide attempt but...the more I learned about doctors, the more I wanted to be one."
With a hum, he noses Emu's hair. "I'm glad that you stuck by your choice in being one."
"Thank you," Emu murmurs, cuddling against him.
For a long while, they stay silent; just breathing and basking in each other's presence.
In the morning quiet, he thinks about his jumbled thoughts and emotions of careers and moving with his own drive instead of just floating down the flow. Parad takes comfort that his path with always parallel with Emu's but even he knows that between the two of them, Emu is the one who's been paving his path instead of riding along the tracks.
And Parad wants that for himself too.
Hence, the holograms of diagrams filled with career choices.
"I've noticed that there's a pattern amongst these choices," Emu speaks up, breaking him out of his thoughts.
His brows furrow in confusion at that. "Oh?"
Pattern? He doesn't recall seeing a pattern in his choices.
Emu chuckles, shoulders shaking.
Glancing down, he finds Emu pinning him with a look that can only be described as warm, loving pride. "Sweetheart, they're all careers that have something to do with helping people."
He blinks. Then, he turns to look at the lists and the diagrams and finds— hold on. Emu's right. Flailing, he feels his face heating up in embarrassment. "That's...!"
He didn't even realise that he chose the careers based on that! But...maybe that's a good thing? He does want to help people. Partly to atone for what he did in the past and partly because he actually likes helping people. He's not sure if it's for self-satisfaction or because he's grown to become a better person than he used to be but helping people actually makes his heart dance.
...Is it okay to choose a career based on that though?
Parad quiets when the bond pulses in reassurance.
"It's alright." Emu brings their joint hands up to brush his lips against Parad's knuckles, smiling up at him. "Tell me?"
Biting his lip, Parad nods.
"At first," he carefully begins after a moment of gathering his thoughts. "I thought I'd go back into pro-gaming but then, I remembered how it was like— all the promotions and PR and crap. I want to play games, not worry about my reputation so I could bring in sponsors. I mean, almost 50% of the time it was like that." Grimacing, he scowls up at the ceiling. He remembers all the nagging he had to endure from management when he secretly went pro by using the moniker he shares with Emu when the doctor was in medical school. "Nico can do it, but me? I'd end up throwing everyone out of the window just so that they'd shut up and let me play my goddamn games."
Emu bursts out laughing.
Grinning, he relishes in that beautiful sound before turning sombre. "Then I thought I should find something that could, y'know, help me make up for my sins. Working permanently with the Ministry seems like a good of an option as any. But...while it's good work, I don't feel any passion in doing it like you do when you're taking care of kids." Parad plays with Emu's fingers, mouth twisting in thought. "I guess...I want a career that I'd be both passionate about and not mind or hell, even thrive in the responsibility of it. And it's like you said. It seems like I always go back to the choices that can help people." Smacking his hands to his face, Parad groans. "I don't know."
"I think you're on the right track," Emu reassures, gently moving his hands away from his face and leans over him with a tender smile. "We can think it over carefully together if you'd like? There's no need for you to rush."
Relief washes over him at the offer.
"I'd like that very much." Cupping the side of Emu's face, Parad feels a thread of nervousness running through him. "Can I tell you something stupid?"
After Emu pointed out that one pattern, it wasn't long for Parad to spot another. However...it's a pattern he's not sure he's allowed to have.
Sensing his emotions, Emu turns his head to kiss his palm. "I don't think anything that you're planning on tell me would ever be stupid, Parad."
"What if it's about a prank?" Parad asks before wiggling his brows. "Or sex?"
"Still won't be stupid." His breath hitches when Emu licks his palm then, swirls his tongue over a finger with a saucy smirk. "Maybe crazy though but, I know it'll definitely be fun."
Swallowing, he clears his throat and ruffles his curls. "...And if it is stupid?"
"That's still okay," Emu murmurs, brushing Parad's curls away from his eyes and smiles at him; all soft and loving. Damn. For all of his screw ups, Parad is grateful that he must've at least done something right to have this amazing human in love with him. "Being stupid with you is a lot of fun too, y'know."
Parad takes a deep breath and hopes that he'll always be allowed to love Emu back just as much.
"...I think I might want a career in medicine," he confesses after a long moment. When Emu's eyes widen, he breathes out a sardonic laugh. "Stupid, right?"
The bond flares in righteous indignation before his face is cradled with firm yet gentle care.
"Never," Emu says fiercely, eyes determined yet sad. "Why in the world would you think that, Parad?"
A bark of laughter bursts out before he can stop it. "It's me, Emu. After all that I've done, getting into medicine seems like a joke, doesn't it?" He waves his hands about. "While CR doesn't need to worry about game disease as much anymore, whenever we really need to, me helping you and CR to save lives? That's fine, because the ones who're really saving the patients are all of you— not me. I'm just clearing the games." Swallowing the lump in his throat, Parad points to himself with a grin; brittle at the edges. "I mean, who in their right mind would trust me of all people to save lives? It'll just be one big joke."
"I'm not laughing." Emu's gaze is so serious and so earnest that Parad feels his grin slipping away. "I'm not laughing at all, Parad."
Biting his lip, Parad lets himself be reeled into a tight hug. He brings his arms around Emu and buries his face in the paediatrican's neck. There's a flash of memories; a glimpse of Kiyonaga that snaps him back to a time when he seriously contemplated in old fashion murder the moment he felt Emu's overwhelming pain and hurt back in medical school.
He tightens his hold onto Emu.
"And you're wrong about you not being trusted to save lives. I trust you." Emu cards a gentle hand through his curls as the doctor tightens his hold on him. "Not just with my life, but the lives of others too. Honestly, as you are now? It's impossible not to trust you with people's lives."
Slowly, the tension bleeds out of him and he breathes in the human's comforting scent. "Emu."
"If you want a career in medicine then, go for it." Emu pulls back slightly and cups the back of his neck with a tender smile. "I'll support you every step of the way, Parad."
While he's still not sure if he can do it, the fact that Parad has the support of the person he loves most makes him feel that he can at least try. "Thank you."
"Always," Emu promises before he grins, running his fingers across his ribs. "Now, c'mon, no need for that frown anymore."
Trying to shield his ticklish spots is futile when he's against Emu and in no time at all, he's curled around his partner in a fit of giggles.
"There's the smile that I love," Emu murmurs fondly, bringing their lips together in a brief kiss before he shifts onto his back to stare up at the holograms. "Alright, let's see what you've got so far...ah." Glancing down at his legs, Emu moves to stand up with a sheepish grin. "Sorry, let me just grab some pants."
He snatches Emu's wrist before the human can get far.
"It can wait." Giving Emu an appreciative once over, Parad leers up at the amused doctor. "I need the break anyway."
After that emotional roller coaster, Parad thinks it's about time anyway.
He teleports them back to their bed, relishing in the sound of Emu's breathless laughter as Parad vanishes his clothes in a wave of pixels. Grinning, he cages Emu's head and leans down to catch those tempting lips in a messy kiss.
"Besides," he pants into Emu's mouth when he pulls back slightly, smug at the way Emu's pupils are completely blown. "You did say you're gonna get back at me, didn't you?"
Equally breathless, Emu traces a finger across his lips. "That I did. Although..."
Parad is suddenly on his back when Emu rolls them over to hover above him. His eyes hungrily roam across Emu's naked body when the doctor makes a show in taking off his shirt; heart beating like a drum at the wicked smirk Emu gives him.
Reaching over to pin his wrists above his head, Emu then trails his other hand down Parad's stomach. "It's my turn now to make you scream."
Parad slides opened his legs with a grin; gleeful at the promise of being deliciously full. "Bring it on."