-Kaiser Picasso, Victor of the 61st Hunger Games-

I don't know if it was the drugs they had me tripped up on, but I actually had… Sweet dreams. For a while, just a blissful little while, I could pretend that I was in a cozy cabin with Inari and my mom, away from the elements of the outdoors, sitting and watching the snow come outside the window, knowing that I wouldn't have to face it ever again if I didn't want to. No more of the freezing concrete showers, no more of the plank beds with no mattresses… Just a comfortable place, where I wouldn't have to deal with what I've done…

What I've done. What have I done?

I wake up with a start, practically lurching out of the small hospital bed I was resting on.

"Wooooooooah there."

Upon hearing Crew's voice, I dejectedly sink back down. There was no use in trying to do anything to escape fate.

"I'm not a fucking horse. Where's Ottile?"

At my outright rejection, Crew sank backwards. "I'll go get her," he said.

"Wait…" I ball my fists, the action immediately bringing back memories I would do anything to keep away right now. "I'm sorry for snapping."

"It's alright. Why, when I was in your shoes, I was as crabby as two uncastrated stallions with only one mare."

…

"Okay, I'll go get her now."

What a weird person. But it's at least good to know that there is someone living in the Victor's Village that is not only my age, but just as crazy as I am. Not much longer after Crew leaves, Ottile comes in quickly, throwing herself into a seat and peering into my face to see how I'm doing.

"Well hi to you too," I tell her with a huff. At the action, the stitches on my stomach fire up and the air is temporarily knocked out of me with the pain.

"Are you alright?"

"What do you think?"

She goes quiet, leaning back into her chair slowly. "You seem like a person that only wants to hear the truth, even if it's hard. Is that you?"

I close my eyes and take another deep breath. "Yes." I hate how my voice is coming out right now. It's like my brain is lagging behind and dragging the rest of my body behind with it.

"That's what I thought," she said quietly. "Have some water. They'll be delivering a meal shortly now that they know you're awake."

I nod and Ottile presses some button that makes the top of the bed come upwards so I can sit up easier. My entire body complains with the action, and I groan a little bit, but try to hide away just how painful it is… I wouldn't want to look foolish in front of Ottile…

"Kaiser. I know you're used to having to be the top dog all the time… But now's not the time for that attitude anymore."

At the reminder of prison, my mind starts to fill itself with horrible, terrible thoughts… "O-Ottile… Will they make me go back to prison?" If they did, then what was this all for?

She looks at me for a moment, her eyes scanning my face as I start to worry. I couldn't possibly stand to go back there… Not after the show I'd put on to get my ass out of that Arena…

Ottile starts laughing. She only laughs for a moment before she says, "Are you kidding? No way!"

I start to feel relieved, knowing that she wouldn't lie to me. But… There's always that worry. I bring my raspy voice down to a crackly whisper. "I killed a Peacekeeper, Ottile."

Her face becomes more serious as her eyes widen just a bit. "That's what you did?"

"Yes." I close my eyes for a moment, reliving that fateful day in my mind. "He… He was going to touch my Mom. He was going to do something horrible to my Mom, he was already pulling her clothes off when I got there… I tried to tell him to let her go… He shrugged me off like a bug." I shake my head a little bit. She would know. There was no way that some scrappy kid was going to do anything against a Peacekeeper. "So I took his gun off him and I shot him dead. It was only because his buddies were coming to see what he scored that they found me with the gun." The memory presses down on my chest like a weight. "My mother wanted me to tell them that it was her that shot him. But there was no way they would have bought it. Even if they would have, if she had gone to prison…" I shake my head again.

Ottile takes a deep, heavy breath as she rubs my arm gently. "Oh, honey…"

"I don't need your sympathy. Really. I wouldn't have done anything differently. But… Will the Capitol really let someone that did that run free?"

Her face is creased with… Pain. For me. A look I had only seen on the face of my mother up until then. "Honey, I'm going to be honest. They will certainly not put you back in prison. But… You will never be free." She reaches over and moves the short hair I'd grown over my time in the Games to the side. "You already knew that, didn't you?"

I give her a small nod, but when I look back into her face, I see pain unlike I've ever seen.

"Hasn't he been through enough?" she says quietly, to nobody. "Your punishment for living will only continue as time goes by. But… Well, now isn't the time for that. Now, we get to celebrate." She tries to smile, but I'm not fooled.

There is no reason to celebrate. Not after all that I've done. Twenty-three deaths is not a reason to celebrate.

A delivery robot brings soup just then, set up on a tray in front of my table. It smells so good, I almost forget to pace myself except for how it burns my tongue. Ottile tells me about the other mentors while I eat, and it's almost a distraction from what I'm feeling.

I'm on my last few bites when her face darkens.

"Hey… Before you go out there, there's something that you need to know."

"…What is it?"

Ottile looks around the room nervously. "When you go out there, you are going to witness some… Revolting footage. We technically aren't supposed to inform the Victors about the events of their Games before they watch them, but… I'm not going to let you go into this blind."

My mind starts racing at the possibilities. "Nez. He said… He… he burned someone?"

"Yes. He threw his ally into the furnace at the front of the train. It was gruesome. But… That's not all you should know. You remember Serena?"

The girl from District Eight. "I can put a name to a face… I think."

"Well…" Ottile sighed. "She went batshit, basically. She tortured her ally to death. And then, well, she went after innocent tributes. She took down Zuzanna, from District Nine." She was only twelve. "She had Job… Job took her out though. But Kaiser… She almost had Inari too."

"What?" Just the thought of this, of all of these images before my eyes…

"Do you remember the bloody handprint?"

I had almost completely forgotten about it. "That was her…"

Ottile nodded. "Just… Remember that they're all dead now. Nobody can hurt you anymore. Alright? And brace yourself. The footage is… Gruesome."

I give a small nod. "Yes. I will do that."

"Oh Kaaaaiser!" comes an all-too-peppy voice from the other room. Sure enough, my stylist and her assistants appear, all of them beaming and one of them clapping her hands. "It's time to get you ready to go!"

"Y'all better be nice and gentle with this kid or else I'm going to put a sword through y'all's stomach and see how you like it!"

The ladies all cower backwards at Ottile's threat as she helps me out of bed and over to the area where they will style me. And sure, enough, she worked magic: they didn't give me a full scrub, which in my book, is a victory.

Before I have much time to think, I'm dressed up and standing backstage. It's dark back there. Last time I was in a place like this, I was in a line of twenty-four. Now, I stand here, alone. Caesar is hyping up the crowd outside. I don't feel nearly as pumped, standing back here…

"Ladies and gentlemen of Panem, it is my pleasure to present to you, the Victor of the 61st Hunger Games. Here he is… Kaiser Picasso of District Ten!"

I can't make my body move for a second. Not until I hear the cheering of the crowd. My legs before my brain can think, hurrying out onto the stage next to Caesar. The crowd in front of me is expansive, full of people that are standing up on their feet, cheering, and waving their arms. Caesar has his arms out to present me, and then takes my hand and holds it up. Thank God, he spares me the bow.

As exhilarating as it is, I don't deserve the applause. As I stand up tall, I can't help but think about how it should be Job standing up on this stage. Inari… Anyone by myself.

But now is not the time for thinking this way. The applause only gets louder as President Snow emerges from the wings, holding the glittering crown in his hands.

"Congratulations, Mr. Picasso," he says quietly, lowering it to fit on my head. "Consider this your official pardon."

I can't help but feel three feet tall. "Thank you, Sir."

The crowd applauds. Little kids sit on their parents' shoulders and wave flags. Even the most posh-looking of them is clapping.

What did I do to deserve this?

"Let's relive the best moments of the Games in our recap!"

I am about to find out.

~.~.

It may be the same train I arrived in, but I am not the same person that once rode it. It's a long ride back out to District Ten…

We are scheduled to have lunch on the train, and while it should be exciting, I can't help but feel anxious. I can't guarantee that I'll be accepted back home, after everything I've done. I've never been the type of person that this District would be proud of…

I stare out the window, wondering how long it will be before we arrive back there, and yet, too afraid to ask. I wonder if they could sense that I wanted to be alone… It wasn't like Crew to not try and buddy up to me all the time. Perhaps Ottile was distracting him for me.

"Kaiser?"

An unexpected voice snaps me out of my thoughts.

"Are we arriving soon?" I ask, quickly and obediently standing up to meet with my prep team.

"Er, um… No, actually. It should be about another hour."

"Oh." I sit back down.

"I wanted to talk to you. It's been a while since we've… Talked, you know."

"We've never talked."

Inspektor lets out a sigh and sits on the couch near the window where I'm sitting.

"I came here to, well… Apologize."

"I'm sorry?"

"I know I wasn't exactly… fair to you after you were reaped. I let my first impression cloud my judgement."

"…What changed your mind?" Probably now that Ottile was so insistent on mother me, Inspektor didn't have a choice. She was threatening like that.

"You did."

Wait… What? "Pardon?"

"Through your words and actions leading up to and in the Arena. You presented yourself so well. Though I'm sure you don't want to hear it, I am proud of you for that."

"Oh… Um, thanks. I mean, I didn't really act very kindly to you either. I was just… You know, scared, I guess."

He gives me a small smile. "That's quite alright. I've seen quite my share of tributes that react similarly. It's unfortunately part of the job."

"Right…"

"Also… I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I heard you tell Ottile about what you did. I was coming to check on you, I-I didn't mean to infringe. But… You were put into an unfair situation back then, with no way to win. And now, well, it's like you've won!"

I smile just a little bit at his misguided attempt to make me feel better. It probably makes sense to him, as someone that grew up in the Capitol. "Thank you Inspektor."

"As I'm sure you could guess, Ottile quite often visits me at my apartment in the Capitol." No duh, you're dating. "You are welcome there as often as you may find yourself in the Capitol as well."

"Oh… Um, thank you Sir."

Inspektor smiles and stands up, giving me a pat on the shoulder. "No problem. And, um, I don't mean to overstep, but… If you ever wish for the advice of a man who has once been eighteen like yourself…. Well, you know where to find me."

Before I can even find the words to thank him, he walks away, and leaves me back to looking out the window as I was.

"Kaiser! Ottile was just showing me her favorite spices in alphabetical order. You should come see this, I think the Ms are particularly interesting."

I laugh a little bit at her attempt to keep Crew from bombarding me with advice. "I'll be there in a minute," I tell him with a wave of my hand, to which he obediently goes back to hear some more about whatever bullshit Ottile was making up to give me a moment of time by myself.

I sigh as the sun hits my face through the window. It was warm, it was summer. Nothing was coming to hurt me…

But then again, what if I was coming into a District that still hated me?

…

"Just keep breathing- oh! Oh! Make sure to imagine the audience in their underwear. That didn't work for me, but I thought I'd let you know just in case it would work for you. Oh, and, um…"

"I think it's time for us to step back," Ottile told him with a pat on the shoulder.

Crew blushed and nodded. "Right."

"Just so you know, a crowd usually forms to welcome the new Victor home. They're there to show their gratitude for your Victory, so don't worry about them," Ottile starts, and I feel my heart start to beat harder.

There's no way I could imagine a crowd waiting there, just to greet me… Surely for a criminal it will be smaller at least…

"Hey. You owe it to her to enjoy this moment." Crew puts his hand on my shoulder. I'm not so sure that's true. The train slowly comes to a gentle stop, so smoothly I could barely feel it until it wasn't moving anymore.

"The mayor is giving a speech right now. When I was a kid, I thought it was out of reverence and excitement, but I learned when I won that it's actually just stalling because sometimes the trains are late. Kind of ruined that moment for me as a celebrator, but they don't know so no harm no foul, right?"

"Right…"

"Welcome home Kaiser," Inspektor says, just as the doors slide open. The mentors and Inspektor take me quickly through the too familiar Justice Building, stopping at a pair of large doors that I know will take me out to the stage. I try to listen as the mayor is talking, but I have no indication of the crowd…

Suddenly, I hear the words I have been dreading for the past few days since the end of the Games…

"Please give a warm District Ten welcome home to your newest Victor, Kaiser Piccasso!"

The rest of my team stands to the side, and suddenly I'm by myself as the doors slowly open up, revealing me to my District. My District that is… Applauding. Cheering. A crowd that fills the square is there, throwing their hats, whistling, cheering… Some of them even sit up on horses to see from the back.

And, up on a platform on the back is a group I immediately notice because of the bright orange jumpsuits. Lydia and little Margaret are among the loudest cheerers. Somehow, I feel like they had to fight to be allowed to watch this happen… All for me…

I wave to the people I had made friends with in prison, for better or worse. I notice how the hot air balloon tattoo is noticeable on my wrist as I wave to them. Lydia blows me kisses from the stands, her voice one of hundreds, maybe thousands, that came out to greet me.

My attention is soon shifted away when I see a stir in the crowd, people moving aside, practically making a path... I can hear the voice telling people to move out of the way… and I remember why exactly it was in the first place that I had to get home.

The Peacekeepers guarding the stage are strict, but I can't control myself. I jump off the front of the stage and meet her halfway, right in the middle of the crowd.

My mother almost knocks me over as she wraps her arms around me tightly in the first hug we were able to share since I was put in prison. The crowd cheers around us, but I can't hear them in that moment. Mom cries quietly as she holds me.

"I missed you so much, Baby…"

"I missed you too."

Her hug is just as bone-crushing as I remember, but at this point, I might be hugging her even tighter.

"We're never going to be homeless again, Mama."

Hearing me call her that just sets her off into more tears, holding onto me tightly and sobbing quietly.

It was worlds different than touching through the glass.

Eventually, she lets go of me with a kiss on the cheek, but just long enough for me to address the crowd, from down on the ground within them, in the shortest Victor's speech ever.

"Let's feast!"

Nobody could disagree with that.

~.~.

A/N: I'm going to be expediting through these epilogues. Just two more chapters before this story is over!

Since I know there are a lot of stories open right now, I'm going to go ahead and open up submissions for my next partial now, so that there will be plenty of time for people to submit before the story will actually be started.

I am happy to announce that my next partial is going to be for the 19th Games, and is called "Deliver Us From Evil!" The concept is that each of my characters is going to be based off of the seven deadly sins, so from submitters I am asking for characters that might tempt mine in different ways. If you want more specific information about it, feel free to contact me and ask! I'm doing a lot of collaborating for this one. Anyways, for more information, check my profile!

(Note: I know that Ballad of Songbirds is around this era, but I will probably pick and choose which worldbuilding elements I use for it, if any at all.)

Thank you for your support of this story, and I hope to see everyone submit to DuFE if you have time!

Next epilogue: We remember the fallen.