A/N: Hello, how is everyone doing? I am back with the next update. Sorry for the delay on this one, but I needed to take a little break to get the next update for You'll Get It And Be Gone out. Those chapters have been double, if not triple what the updates for this have been so it has been a bit time-consuming. Anyways, here is the next one for HTD and I am very excited to see what you all think of this one.

I still can not believe this story has hit 30 chapters and just recently hit over 100k views. THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart. Thank you SO MUCH for your support from the very beginning and your continued support after my hiatus. It really does mean the world to me.

Dawson

It had been an eventful two weeks back in the working world... to say the least.

I had begun to remember just what stresses came with this job, but now I had a new layer to it all that I never had before.

Motherhood.

While one or the other had never been hard. My months as a firefighter, and my months off as a new mother had both been wonderful. Mixing the two together? I was determined was a recipe destined for hell.

I was exhausted.

Physically, mentally, spiritually... whatever other sense you could possibly think of... I was tired.

Matt had been great at home, he had, but there was only so much the poor man could do when he was not the keeper of the boobs and breast milk. Jesse was doing great, he was taking the bottle like a champ, and had really been doing great with the transition over the past two weeks of me being back at work. Truly, nothing was out of the ordinary... but this new lifestyle was one that was taking me time to work myself into.

Two weeks later, and I was finally starting to feel like I was getting the hang of it. Though, I was admittedly still very much exhausted nine times out of ten.

Tonight, for the first time in longer than I could even remember, I was spending time outside of the apartment with my friends, not working. After a lot of convincing, Stella and Brett had talked me into coming over to Brett's place for a few drinks and a girl's night. Though I was still iffy on how much drinking I wanted to do, I had finally consented to the girl's night that they had been begging me for.

Stella had been at 51 for a couple of months now, though we had only been able to work together for a few weeks, and I was so happy to be seeing one of my oldest friends again. Working together on Truck had been interesting. While I had the seniority in the CFD, my maternity leave and just now getting to finishing my candidacy gave Stella the seniority on Truck... and boy did she not let me forget it.

"Alright, Dawson." I move my eyes to my very eccentric dark-haired friend as she downed the rest of her drink from where she sat on the other end of the couch next to me. "You've been good and managed not to bring it up over the past two hours, now I'm asking for it." I spare a look to Brett who is staring at us both in amusement and I am just now realizing this may be one of her first times hanging out with the new house member outside of shift.

"Oh boy." I start, giving Stella my undivided attention.

She smirks. "Come on. Tell me about that baby!" She insists and I break out into a grin.

I raise my brow at her, "I thought that tonight was about fun and no, and I quote baby, husband, living in sin talk?" I quip, Stella, shooting me a playful glare at her own words being recited back to her, while Sylvie chuckled at us both.

"Well yes, I did say that... but I didn't think you'd actually do it. So, come on now. Tell me about that sweet little boy!" She insists, "I want to hear all about my little Dawson becoming a momma." Though her words are teasing, the sincerity is still there and I can't help but smile. Stella had joined the house about a month after Jesse was born.

The first time I showed up at the house with Jesse she had been shocked to not only find out that I was originally stationed at 51, had been pregnant, but also had the baby... and was living with her current Lieutenant. She really had been given a whirlwind of information that day.

Finally, I concede to her line of questions. "Jesse is amazing." I gush, my heart swelling at just the thought of my sweet boy. "He is just so full of life, and love, and he is hilarious. Don't get me wrong, I know he is only 18-weeks, but my God is he already such a little character. He has this big ole giggle and once you get him going, good luck stopping him. He is such a happy baby. The best thing is coming home from a long shift to him. He is so happy at first, all grins and giggles and squeals, but then he just wants to be held and snuggled and he just looks up at me with those big blue eyes and it's the most amazing feeling in the world." I finally pause, pulling myself from my own little bubble to see Stella and Brett both staring at me, large grins on both their faces.

"What?" I question.

Sylvie shakes her head. "Nothing. You're just an amazing Mom, Gabby. It's really sweet to get to witness."

I duck my head, her words and the sincerity in her voice catching me off guard.

"Thanks, Brett." I tell her softly. It's still crazy to me that just over a year ago we had still been roommates and really just starting our friendship. Brett had really witnessed it all.

"She's right. Jesse is a lucky little boy." Stella interjects. "God, it's so crazy to see Gabriela Dawson as a mother."

I can't help but laugh at her words and nod, "Yeah, it's still kind of crazy to me too." I admit.

Stella insists on another shot of the bubblegum flavored vodka that Brett had pulled out, claiming "old times sake" when I had raised a brow at the drink that I had not consumed since well before my pregnancy. It was something Sylvie had to talk me into when I had moved in with her, the name alone leaving me skeptical... but admittedly, it was delicious. Stella had shared the same skepticism when Sylvie whipped it out tonight but now was in love with the very girly drink.

Stella pours us three more shots, and I already know I will definitely be pumping and dumping my breast milk tomorrow morning for sure. Maybe even into tomorrow afternoon at this rate. Throwing back the shot, as good as it was, I could feel it burn my throat, the liquor still something I was getting reacquainted with after over a year of not drinking. I was definitely already feeling the drinks we had consumed.

"So, Ms. Kidd. Tell me," Stella's eyes fly to me, already intrigued. "What is going on with you and my wonderful roommate?"

"Oh, Casey told you about us? We are good, wonderful, amazing..." I throw the pillow sat next to me square at her. She doesn't seem to mind as she busts out laughing, I roll my eyes as she catches her breath. "Oh! You meant your other roommate?" She quickly fills in.

"Ha, ha, ha." I mock. "You're a real comedian, Stella Kidd."

She narrows her eyes at me, "Thanks, I thought so. But, in regards to your question, there is nothing going on with Kelly and me." She quickly continues, "By the way, it is still so crazy to me that you live in a 3-bedroom apartment with Kelly Severide and Matt Casey... your Lieutenant, and baby daddy... and said baby daddies' baby."

I shoot her a glare, suddenly wishing I had a second pillow to be able to toss at her. Sylvie is soon interjecting, her curiosity clearly getting the best of her.

"How is that going by the way?" She questions, taking a sip of her drink.

I gnaw on my lip, feeling far too much from the alcohol to be fielding questions like this. "Living with Kelly is great." I tease, hoping they will move on. When I look up to two pointed glares, I know I am not getting so lucky. "I am not near drunk enough for this" I mumble, knowing despite the drinks I was already feeling in my system I would need more to fully dive into this talk.

After two more shots and nursing a third drink they finally have me spilling my guts, what would normally be a minimal amount of alcohol for me pre-pregnancy enough to have me feeling wonderful after so long without.

"Living with Matt... it's been good. Challenging... but good." I mumble, the alcohol flowing now.

Stella raises a brow, looking me over curiously. "How did that all happen by the way?"

I move my eyes back to her, my face giving way that I clearly needed her to elaborate on her words. "Listen, I feel like I am playing catch up over here. So, let me get what I do know straight." She commented, sitting up in her chair and considering her next words. "You and Casey were dating, you trained to be a firefighter, you got engaged, and then got offered the spot-on 51..." I nodded along, agreeing with the information given to me so far. "So, you're secretly engaged Candidate and Lieutenant on Truck. Then you break up, and you find out your pregnant?" Stella questions.

Sylvie quickly interjects. "Well, it did take her another couple of months before she realized." I am quick to shoot her a hazy glare and the blonde simply shrugs. "What? It's true." She defends.

Stella chuckles, shaking her head. "Okay then. Months later you find out you are pregnant, and you two are living together at this point... and then you move back in with Casey and Severide?"

I huff. "Okay, first of all, it was a couple of weeks, not months. I was nearly three months pregnant when I realized." Stella gives me a look of shock and I shoot her a glare. "I had just started a new job, broken up with my fiancé, and moved into a new place. Give me a break." I can't help but bite out, forcing Stella to hold her hands up in surrender as she takes in the new information given. "Secondly, Casey didn't find out until a few weeks after that."

Kidd shakes her head, "You are a mess." She laughs, trying to understand all of the new information given. "What I am still not understanding is how you ended up moved back in with your roomies and why you and Casey aren't together... when you both clearly want to be?"

Sylvie leans forward in her seat. "Yeah, I am also interested in the second question."

I roll my eyes, taking another drink from the bottle in front of me before meeting their amused faces. "Casey and I had some issues to work through, alright? Plus, we broke up for a reason, I didn't want us getting back together just because I was pregnant. That wasn't fair to either of us." They both nod their understanding as I continue. "And I moved back in so we could experience the pregnancy together, and well with all the complications I had I am so happy I had them there through it all," I tell them thoughtfully.

After a beat of silence Stella starts talking again, pulling me out of my memories that came from talking about the complication during my pregnancy. "So, what about now?" she questions, my eyes move meeting hers, my brow raising in question once more.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you said you moved in to experience the pregnancy together, but you aren't pregnant anymore... and unless you want to share some juicy details you left out earlier, you two aren't back together?" I nod once more, taking in her words. "So, why are you still there?"

Stella's question takes me by surprise and settles heavily in my chest... it wasn't something I had thought of for a while now, not since Jesse was born if I was being honest. The last time Matt and I had actually discussed it I was still pregnant, and we truly had no idea whether I would be living through the delivery, let along living to move out on my own again. Though, at that time I had said once I was back to work would be when I thought of moving out.

"I uh..." I stop shaking my head, taking a long drink from the bottle of beer in my hand, "I don't know." I say softly. Those words hitting me harder than I thought they would. Casey and I had both thoughts we'd be back together by now... and we wanted to be, or at least we seemed to want to, but we also hadn't anticipated this work situation when we had our original conversation.

My mind was racing at all of these new thoughts now. Should I move out? Was Casey expecting me too? I was the one who brought it up originally after all. He had been shocked by my bringing it up... but maybe he was waiting for me to now? Maybe Casey wanted me to move out?

I miss the look of concern that passes between Sylvie and Stella as they look me over. Sylvie pours another shot of vodka for all three of us, and when she passes me one, I take it gratefully.

"Okay, well now that we have broken Dawson's brain and I am all caught up on her family life and lack of love life... let's move on." I hear Stella tease and I shoot her a glare, leaning out of my chair to slap her arm as she laughs loudly, clearly proud of herself.

Sylvie laughs too, shaking her head at us both and pouring herself another shot, I give her a look, indicating I would take one. They both raise a brow at me, knowing I had told them both I couldn't drink too much tonight. That had clearly gone out the window as soon as this conversation had started, I shrug.

"You broke my brain, I need it," I say simply. Sylvie nods her understanding, pouring the shot to the brim without question while Stella cheers.

"That's my girl!" I down the shot, letting the burn of the liquor try and help clear my racing mind. "Since Dawson has no love life, you know what we should do?" Stella nearly squeals in delight, barely sparing me a glance as I shoot her the umpteenth death glare. "We should call up some boys, get a nice game of spin the bottle going!" She cheers.

"Spin the bottle?" I ask incredulously. "Really?"

"What?" Stella asks, clearly seeing nothing wrong with her suggestion.

"Spin the bottle is for babies." I cry. "My God, I swear, you have regressed since the last time we hung out..."

Casey

Noise from the kitchen pulls me from my deep sleep and I look around the darkened living room in confusion. I had not planned to fall asleep on the couch after putting Jesse to bed in his crib, but after settling down to watch the rest of the Cubs game it was clear I had.

Kelly and I had settled into the living room for pizza, beer, and baseball after Gabby had left with Stella this afternoon. While Kelly had headed off near the end of the 8th inning to go to Molly's for a beer, I had taken to getting Jesse ready for bed.

We had been trying to sleep train him in the crib now that he was getting closer to five months, and I had expected him to put up more of a fight than he did when I settled him into his room tonight, but since he was normally sleeping in his crib on the days Bonnie was here, I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. I expect cries to be the thing that had woken me up, but another noise from the kitchen, followed by some cursing, lets me know Jesse is still sleeping, and that Gabby must be home from her girl's night.

I pull myself up from the couch, tossing the blanket I had been using over the back of the couch and flipping the television off that I had fallen asleep watching while waiting up to make sure Gabby got home safe.

I pad into the kitchen and find her sitting on the counter, struggling to pull her boots off her feet and getting very clearly frustrated with them. I flip the light on, watching as she squints for a moment before her wide and hazy eyes are finding mine, a surprised look on her face that soon turns sheepish.

I take her in, and it becomes clear she had a good time tonight, I can't help but grin.

"Hey there," I call, she smiles lazily.

"Did I wake you up?" She asks, a near pout forming on her lips. "I tried to be quiet." She sighs, before looking back at her boot she was desperately trying to pull off, nearly falling off the counter in the process. "...these stupid boots."

I hear her mutter and chuckle softly, walking around the counter and coming to stand in front of her. She looks me up and down, and I grab hold of her foot, carefully pulling the zipper down on the side of her boot and pulling it from her foot. She looks at me, her mouth open in surprise. "I swear I tried that." She defends herself quickly.

I shake my head at her, letting one leg go and grabbing the other, performing the same task. Gabby hums in content, stretching her feet gratefully.

I can't wipe the smile off my face as I look her over. She was tipsy, to say the least, but drunk was probably a better description of her at this point. "How'd you get home?" I ask.

"Kidd dropped me off." She tells me, her voice an octave higher than normal. Gabby hops down from the counter, faltering slightly as she reaches out to steady herself before heading to the fridge and pulling the door open. I turn around and lean against the counter, crossing my arms and watching her with an amused expression.

It had been longer than I could even remember since the last time I had seen Gabby this drunk. It was entertaining, that was for sure. After looking through the fridge thoughtfully for a few minutes she opens up a container of cheesecake that Severide had brought home the other day, and pulls the lid off, grabbing a fork out of the drawer and digging in happily. She jumps back up on the counter, continuing to eat her snack before turning her eyes back to me, holding out a forkful of cheesecake in offering.

I can't help but walk towards her, standing in front of her and taking the bite she had offered, humming in contentment as I eat the sugary dessert that was both Gabby and I's favorite. We share the rest of the desert, Gabby offering me bites in between her own until we have finished off the last two pieces and Gabby seems to be satisfied.

Gabby sets her fork down, and moves her eyes back to me, the look in her eye has my heart rate rising, and I raise a curious brow in her direction. She grins, that gleam in her eye never leaving as she holds out her hand to me. I take it, still confused, that is until she pulls on my hand, and my brows raise further.

She pulls on my hand once more and before I can protest, I am standing between her legs as she sits on the counter. She drops my hand, wrapping her arms around my shoulder and pulling me closer, her fingers running through the back of my hair as my hands instinctively go to her hips.

"Gabby," I say softly, swallowing thickly at our close proximity.

She keeps up her pattern on the back of my head, her rhythmic movements enough to make me fall asleep if it weren't for the situation. Gabby leans forward, and I feel my breath catch when she rests her forehead against mine, our bodies pulling even closer at the action, both of our eyes falling closed as our breaths mixed together.

Neither of us moves, neither of us speak, but everything about this moment felt so heavy. Gabby shakes her head, her forehead rubbing against mine as we stay in this trance. "I miss you."

My grip tightens on her hips at her words, her voice heavy with emotion and want... and if this was any other situation I knew I would be letting us fall back into each other, I knew I wouldn't be able to deny her, it was hard enough doing it now, but Gabby was drunk. Whether I knew she felt this way or not, I wouldn't let the first time we crossed the line be like this, never like this.

I knew that her words were true, the drinks were only giving her the confidence to say and do what she wanted, but the alcohol wasn't impairing her feelings. It had been clear for some time now that this was what we wanted, we had just been holding back because of the situation we were in, not because of a lack of want.

I nod, swallowing thickly. "I miss you too, Gabby."

I force myself to pull back, knowing tonight was not the night to be delving into anything any further, Gabby's confused eyes meet mine and I offer her a soft smile, reaching up to tuck the hair behind her ear, letting my hand stay rested against her cheek a moment longer as she rests into the touch. I find myself getting lost in her eyes for another moment before leaning forward, pressing a kiss to her forehead before pulling back once more.

"Come on, let's get you to bed," I tell her. She pauses, and I'm wondering if she is going to fight me on the clear shift, I had made for us, but she doesn't. I help her down off the counter and Gabby heads for our bedroom while I clean up the kitchen quickly and make sure the doors are locked before following after her.

When I walk into the bedroom there is already a trail of clothes on the floor and Gabby is struggling to pull one of my t-shirts over her head. A moment later her head pops through the other end and she is padding to her side of the bed while she puts her arms through the sleeves. I grab her some Tylenol from the bathroom and set it on her side of the bed with a glass of water before heading for my own side of the bed and climbing in.

I turn the lamp off and settle down and Gabby is on me a moment later, snuggling in so close she is practically on top of me. I rub a comforting hand up and down her back as she cuddles in close, and press a kiss to the top of her head.

Gabby's hand rubs along my collar bone, her breath hitting my chest as she breathes in and out. I am almost positive she is nearly asleep, that is until I feel her grip tighten on me slightly before her head turns a little, her lips pressing into my skin.

"Night Matt..." She breathes out, I squeeze her closer, wrapping my other arm around her to hold her.

"Night Gabby."

It's well into the next afternoon when a still hungover Gabby walks into the living room and settles down on the couch next to me. Jesse was napping in his crib, and we were having a relaxing day on the couch, Gabby not feeling up too much else after the night of drinking she'd had.

"What's the verdict?" I ask as she settles back down, pulling the blanket over her legs.

"I think I may have finally got the rest of the alcohol out of my system. Next time I pump I'll double-check, but I should be able to freeze it." She sighs.

I chuckle quietly. Gabby had spent the morning having to pump and dump her breast milk, and she was unimpressed with how much she had to dump. She had a healthy supply, and our freezer was stocked, but she still had grumbled the whole time the test strip had turned a nasty yellow color and indicated the milk was not fit for our child's consumption. On top of that, Jesse had been wanting to nurse, and Gabby wasn't able too.

"I'm never drinking again." She grumbles, snuggling into the blanket, I raise a brow and scoff, we both know that wasn't true. "Fine. I'm not drinking again until after I am done breastfeeding." She concedes and I nod.

Now that sounded more realistic for her.

"Well, Jesse will be very happy to wake up from his nap and be able to nurse."

Gabby smiles, meeting my eyes from the other side of the couch. "Yeah, I will be too." She says softly, and I knew she had missed their normal morning feeding.

I squeeze her leg that was resting in my lap and focus my eyes back on to television in front of us. A solid hour must pass as we sit together watching a movie, and I am surprised that Gabby hasn't fallen into a nap of her own. When she shifts her legs and starts talking my surprised eyes meet hers.

"I uh... I've been thinking." She says softly, gnawing on her bottom lip so fiercely I am positive she will draw blood. The shift in her demeanor catches me off guard, the clear nerves and anxiety written into her features concerning me. I turn myself further to face her, giving her my undivided attention as I reach out and turn the volume on the television down.

Gabby wrings her hands together, still avoiding my gaze when she finally speaks. "I uh, was looking at a couple of apartments this morning. Nothing too fancy, but they are enough room for Jesse and I, and something I can afford on my own. One I saw isn't too far from here and..." Gabby rambles on nervously, and my brows furrow, confusion taking over my body as I tense.

"Apartments?" I question, cutting her off.

Her eyes finally meet mine. Her own brows furrowing as she nods gently, a timid look covering her face before she looks back down at her hands. "Yeah, uh. I know we talked about it before Jesse was born... and we haven't since, but..." Gabby trails off shrugging lightly before looking at me once more. "...we said I would wait until after I went back to work, and well. I'm back at work." She says simply.

My entire body tenses even more if at all possible. I had forgotten about that conversation. Or at least about that part of the conversation. I knew Gabby had said she would move out after Jesse was a few months old and she was back at work... I remembered that, but I also remember hating the idea when she said it then, let alone now. When she had said it then I was still under the impression that we'd be back together by the time that happened and there would be no need to even discuss it. Even though that wasn't the case now, I still felt that way. I still felt like this didn't even need to be a discussion. We weren't back together, but we wanted to be. Why would she move out?

I... I couldn't imagine her moving out. That made all of this seem so much more final. It made it all so much more real.

I shake my head, trying to form a coherent thought to express.

"I... I guess I didn't realize you were still..." I trail off, Gabby falters at my words. Her brown eyes looking as lost as I felt right now. I was at a loss for words if I was being honest. So many questions were spinning through my head.

Was this what she wanted? Did she want to move out? Did she want to have her own place? Did she not want to be with me here?

Gabby looks down to her hands once more, a heavy feeling settling into my gut as the air around us turned thick. "I just thought it was what was best..." She says softly, but her voice is unsure. When she meets my eyes once more her brown orbs are telling me more than her words ever could. Her eyes nearly pleading with me to tell her she was wrong. To tell her not to go.

I open my mouth... wanting to tell her what she wants to hear but also stuck between wanting this to be her choice. I didn't want her to stay because of me. I wanted her to want to be here because it was what she wanted. I didn't want her to stay because of me... or because of Jesse... or out of convivence. I wanted Gabby to want to live here with me because she wanted to.

I wanted her to want to be here because of me... because of us.

But I couldn't make that decision for her and I knew I couldn't.

My mouth bobs, the words I wanted to say on the tip of my tongue.

Gabby's phone ringing in the bedroom pulls us both from this heavy conversation and Gabby is up a moment later, tossing the blanket onto the couch and moving into the bedroom without sparing me another glance.

I sit in the heavy silence with my thoughts racing. This entire conversation was honestly taking me for a loop. I hadn't expected this to come up again if I was being honest. Everything we had done and said over the last few weeks led me to believe we were on the same page. That we both knew what we wanted... and that was each other.

From my perspective the only thing holding us back was us wanting to make it through these two months at 51 with clear eyes. We didn't want to go through this the same way we had before... but I had thought that was the only thing holding us back. I thought we were on the same page... now I wasn't as sure. Gabby mentioning moving out of our home had sent me for a loop.

I didn't want this. I didn't want us living in two different places. I didn't want us splitting our time with Jesse. I didn't want that for us, and I didn't want it for Jesse. I wanted us, all together, as a family. I had always wanted that. Honestly, I was hurt that this even a topic of discussion again.

I was confused and hurt, and second-guessing everything that had happened over the past couple of weeks. Hell, I was second-guessing what happened last night along with everything else. Just when I thought we were on common, solid ground... Gabby mentions moving out so casually and throws my thoughts off track.

I push myself up from the couch and walk towards our bedroom.

I knew I wasn't going to get answers to any of my questions unless I talked to her. I knew to hide how we were feeling to spare each other's feelings had ended terribly for us before... being honest with each other was the only thing that was going to get us through this. And the truth was, I didn't want Gabby going anywhere... not without me with her.

When I step into the bedroom Gabby is sitting on her side of the bed with her phone in her hands. She doesn't look up, but she knows I am there. "That was Antonio. Just checking in. He says 'hi'." She speaks softly, her voice still held that same uncertainty.

I nod. Forcing myself to collect my thoughts. "Why uh... why are you moving out, Gabby?"

I watch her shoulders tense, and can see her eyes fall closed and I sigh. "If this is what you want... if you don't want to be here anymore... I, I understand." I force out, though there was no part of me understanding any of this. "You know I support whatever you want but... Is it something I did?" I finally question, I had been trying to think of something, anything that would have made her not want this anymore and I was coming up blank.

Her eyes snap to mine, her face pained. "Matt..." She pleads, shaking her head as she stands up. "That's not what this is about. It's..." Gabby stops once more and I raise my brows, waiting for her to continue, but she doesn't.

"It's what, Gabby?" I finally push, needing some answers, needing to understand what had changed.

"I don't want to keep intruding on your life." She finally forces out and I was no less confused. "I said I would move out when Jesse was a few months old when I was back at work... It's what we agreed on. I just... we aren't together, Matt. That was the only thing that was going to change me moving out." She sighs, and a heavy feeling sets into my chest.

She was pushing me away... she was distancing us, and I didn't understand why.

"Gabby, I thought you wanted to wait..." I tell her and she looks up at me once more, an unreadable expression on her face. "I thought we were waiting until your candidacy was over before making any big decisions about us I..." I trail off. Trying to understand where this was coming from. I wasn't sure how I could be any clearer about what I wanted, and I had thought I was clear. I had thought we were on the same page. I hadn't realized we weren't.

The thought alone that we weren't on the same page once again made a heavy feeling settle into my chest. We had been doing so well. We had some of the most honest and amazing conversations over the past few months... I thought it all pointed to some truly amazing progress, but with Gabby throwing this curveball at me I wasn't so sure. I was second-guessing myself, second-guessing her, and us. And that was the last thing I wanted to do, not after everything we had talked about, everything we had worked through.

If Gabby was going to move, I wanted it to be her decision. I wanted her to do it because it was what she wanted, even if that meant it was because she didn't want to be here with me. I wanted it to be her decision, I wouldn't make it for her, but I would at least make sure she had all the facts before making that decision. I had thought we were on the same page, and it was clear we weren't.

So, I was determined to make sure she knew exactly where I stood... no matter what that meant for us.

"I love you," I tell her and her eyes snap to mine, her brown orbs shining with unshed tears the minute the words leave my mouth and I can't tell if that's a good or bad thing at this point. The person I could normally read so well offering nothing in regards to a reaction. "I love you, and I don't want you to leave."

I let those words hang in the air. We hadn't said them in a while, it had been a couple of weeks now. Both of us knowing it to be true but waiting. Waiting until we could actually do something about those feelings. At this point I wasn't sure if it was the right time or not. I wasn't sure if we were ready, but what I did know was I couldn't let her leave. This wasn't what I wanted, and I didn't want her thinking it was. It was clear something gave her the idea that this is what was best for us, and I don't know what it was, but it couldn't be further from the truth.

All I wanted was Gabby. I was so tired of hiding that. From her, from the rest of the world... from myself.

It was time to stop hiding it.

Gabby breathes heavily, her chest rising and falling quickly, the tears that had been resting in her eyes growing heavier, but still being held back.

"Don't leave me."

I stalk towards her, throwing caution and insecurities to the wind as I move across the room and wrap her up in my arms. Our lips meeting in a needy kiss. Other hearts hammering in our chests. We'd shared kisses over the last year. They were few and far between... some more gentle than others, but this felt different.

This was different.

Gabby's arms wrap around my back as one of mine rests on her hip, the other on her jaw guiding our movements as we kissed heatedly, an intense battle of dominance taking over. All of the pent-up frustrations. All the pent up want and need. The love and desire we had felt and been holding back for so long was finally bubbling over and coming out in this kiss and it felt amazing.

It felt like coming home.

Kissing Gabby, holding her in my arms, it felt like coming home. Like everything we had been through, everything we had gone through in the last year led us here. Like all of the heartache and pain had been worth it to finally have this moment.

Gabby's arms move from my back, running up my chest and wrapping around my neck, her fingers dancing through the back of my hair and sending shivers down my spine. We pull away long enough to catch our breaths but are falling back together right after, our mouths melding together once more.

When air becomes a necessity once more, I move my kisses to her neck, kissing a trail down her smooth flesh, leaving my mark on her skin as she clings to me. "Matt." My name on her lips sounded like the sweetest song and I was determined to hear it again as I sunk my teeth into the sensitive skin under her ear, earning another, deeper moan of my name as her nails bit at the skin on the back of my neck.

I move back up, capturing her lips once more in a hungry kiss. The air shifts as our need for each other becomes more and more prominent. The time between the last time we did this all too apparent as we move together.

"I missed you." I breathe out against her lips before capturing them again.

I feel Gabby's smile against my lips more than I see it when she responds to my words. "I missed you too. So damn much."

I smile at her words, pulling back only enough to rest my forehead against hers. Stilling our movements as we rest together and breathe each other in. "Are you sure?" I ask her, her brown eyes meeting my blue ones.

The look in her eyes is clear as day, "Never been more sure of anything in my life." She murmurs, her eyes never leaving mine.

I grin, feeling myself nod against her, our foreheads moving together at the movement. I pull Gabby closer, our lips connecting in a much tamer kiss as we familiarize ourselves with each other. The tameness of this kiss only lasts a short period before we are picking up speed once more, the fire inside of us both picking up strength.

I lean down just enough to rest my hands on the back of her thighs, picking her up in one swift movement as her legs wrap around me instinctively. A gasp of surprise leaves her mouth at the action, but her arms and legs are tightening around me quickly, my hands moving from her legs to her bottom once I knew she was secure. I pull her sweater over her head, leaving her in just her nursing tank top and sleep shorts as I move us to our bed.

Settling us both down in the middle of the bed as Gabby stays wrapped around me. I break our lips once more, moving to press kisses from her neck, collarbone, and top of her chest. Gabby's thick pants hitting my ears as I mark her skin.

Her hands on my neck are pulling me back up to her, our lips meeting and battling for dominance again. "I love you." Her words are like music to my ears and I can't wipe the smiles off my face as I kiss her back, running my hand through her curly locks as I pull back to meet her eyes.

"I love you too."

Soft smiles are shared, the weight that had sat heavily between us finally diminishing as we crossed into that unchartered territory together once again.

Gabby has my shirt over my head and thrown somewhere around the room when our lips meet once more. My hands trail up her sides, loving the goosebumps that have appeared on her skin as I let my fingers dance along the smooth flesh of her sides that has appeared.

Gabby's fingers dance along the waistband of my shorts, my hips instinctively rocking into hers at the action. She hooks her fingers under the waistband, fully intent to pull them down until we are both freezing.

Low whines emitting from the baby monitor on our nightstand pausing both of us as we breathe heavy. My head falls down to her neck, my forehead resting there for a moment as Jesse's whines grow louder from the baby monitor. I press a kiss to Gabby's shoulder, her arms rubbing up and down my back as I pull back and meet her eyes for only a moment before kissing her one last time.

"Duty calls," I mutter, carefully rolling from her and off the bed, adjusting the shorts that were now resting lower on my hips than before and moving from the room down the hall to Jesse's nursery. When I walk in, I find the boy red-faced, a couple of stray crocodile tears resting on Jesse's little face.

"Hey bubba," I whisper, picking him up and holding him close, running a soothing hand over his back to calm him down as I rock on my feet waiting for his after-nap cries to calm.

It's only a minute or so later that Jesse has quieted. I pluck his pacifier out of the crib and go to turn, ready to head back out of the room when I find Gabby standing in the doorway, a timid look covering her face. Her lips swollen from our previous activities; a litter of red marks marred the caramel skin of her chest.

I move my eyes back to hers, finding a hesitation there that I hated to see. The fierceness of our reuniting leaving us both a little shook. Especially after the near feeling of cold water being thrown on us from Jesse's cries and interruption. She gnawed on her bottom lip, looking at me cautiously.

"What does this mean, Matt?"

What does this mean?

I don't know, but it has taken us 30 chapters to get here, so what a ride it's been...

Can't wait to see what you all think of this one. Please review!