Sex, Drugs, and Oblivian

17/21

Mazikeen needed to find Lania.

It hurt to watch Lucifer like this. It was a vast improvement from before when she'd feared he wouldn't recover at all, but as much as he tried to hide it, she knew he was still suffering. Even in sleep the stress lines around his eyes were apparent. His insistence that no one had hurt him angered her. How could he say such a thing when it was obvious to everyone other than him,that he'd been manipulated and abused?

After Lucifer's breathing evened out and his grip on her went slack, Mazikeen slipped out of the sleeping quarters. She wasn't finished with Rillam. Lania dealt in a particular type of coupling experience, but she, more than any Lilim, knew the dangers of lethe. It was lethe that had her expelled from the Spire, that turned her eyes from gold to yellow and ensured she would never carry another sprog to birthing. Everything Lania had, she'd lost to the lethe. It had been Lania who took advantage of Lucifer so many winds back. When she delivered her message about leaving Lucifer alone, Maze hadn't suspected the former dame of being a current user. She hadn't thought—why hadn't she thought?—that Lucifer had been given lethe at the time.

Dromos awaited her. This wasn't something she wanted Lucifer to witness. A proper interrogation was more than she wanted to expose him to. He'd interfered with her gentle questioning. She wouldn't risk making him sleep wander, or worse go back to sleep wandering while awake. The draught she'd given him would keep him safely out of the way.

It didn't take long. Rillam showed her true cowardice long before Mazikeen was done torturing her. She knew all that Lucifer should have remembered of Lania, and much more besides. Lania existed on borrowed time.

Mazikeen cleaned herself thoroughly before she rejoined Lucifer. She lay down beside him and draped her arm across his stomach.

The room was dark when she woke, the candle had burnt itself out, and her arm remained as it had been, draped over him, but now his hand rested over hers, a finger slowly moving in shapes over the back of her hand.

"Lucifer?" Maze asked, she knew he was awake, his eyes were open and staring up at nothing. He may be impaired by the darkness but she wasn't.

She started to pull away so she could light the candle, but Lucifer closed his fingers around hers.

"Look up." he said, and waited for her to settle.

She looked, uncertain what he was trying to draw her attention to. And then she saw it, the small glowing spots on the ceiling. "Are you watching the glow worms?"

"That's what they are?" he asked. "Look at them Maze, like thousands of points of light. They're feasting on the moss growing up there."

"I'll get someone to clear that out later."

"Don't do that."

"You want to sleep in a chamber invested with maggots?"

"When you put it that way..." He was quiet for a moment, and then added in a voice so quiet she barely heard. "They look like stars, Maze."

He'd talked about stars before, it wasn't anything she understood, but the way he spoke of them made her wish she did. "You miss those things— stars?"

This time he didn't answer. he let his hand drop from hers and sat up, reaching blindly in the dark for the candle to light. She studied him closely, his hands were steadier and his eyes looked brighter. "I'm coming with you to find Lania."

"Oh really?" Maze reached out and grabbed his hand, held his fingers. Warm and steady. Lucifer pulled away. "I'm fine."

She wanted that to be true.

"What will happen to the worms?"

"One of the males will come clean up and set a torch to them. Get dressed, I have something to show you."

With the candle lit he stretched to swipe one of the small wiggling—slimy—creatures on the ceiling into his hand to examine more closely. Each segment of its body had a single glowing dot.

The spawn liked to find the critters and squish them, rub the jelly on the walls and each other and laugh at the nasty smell it produced. What did Lucifer think of them, was he disgusted? His curiosity for new things fascinated her.

"Do they do anything other than light up?"

Maze reached over to scoop the worm off his hand and flick it away, but he dodged and held his arm out of reach.

"Yeah. They eat moss. And leave slime all over everything."

He seemed reluctant, but reached up and stuck the little worm back where he'd plucked it from. "Why do they glow?"

"I don't know. Get dressed."

He did. Choosing a chiton and leggings and his belt. It didn't escape her notice that he ignored the sandals, but they weren't going outside. If he wanted bare feet, she didn't care, at least he was dressed.

"It has to have a reason," he continued, stuck on the subject now as she led him toward the training rooms. "Everything has a purpose, Maze."

"Easier for the spiders to find and eat them?"

"Why would they be created like that just to be eaten?"

"Maybe it's not for them. Its for the spiders."

Lucifer made a face. Obviously he wasn't satisfied with that either. No matter. They were almost where she wanted to take them now.

Screaming and yelping came from the large room ahead, and Maze held back the door covering for Lucifer to enter. She gazed out at the clawing, screeching hoard of spawn with a sense of pride. This batch were scrappers. There were three heaps of them wrestling and biting and scratching, each trying to fight their way up to the top of their pile. Dromos wandered the room, observing the play.

A little one was tossed to the side, where it took big gulps of breath, nearly crying. It looked over at Dromos and he nudged it with his foot. The little spawn growled and jumped back in to scratch and bite again.

"What is this? Aren't you worried they'll get hurt?" Lucifer asked, voice quiet and tense.

"What? No, why would anyone be worried. It's natural. Look at them learning how to fight. Awesome isn't it?" She grinned.

"This is how you teach them?" Lucifer asked, voice low.

"How else would they learn?"

He shrugged, expression closed off. Maze frowned at him and wondered what different experiences he might have.

"Come and see this," she took his hand, tugging him across the room and through another door. This room was empty but for various weapons hung on the walls.

"You know what these are?"

Lucifer stared at her, eyes narrowed. "Swords. Whips. Spears. I know what weapons are."

He was snippy. She could work with that. It made what she wanted to do next easier. "You know how to use them?"

"Yes."

She grabbed a blunt staff off the wall, tossed it his way. Lucifer caught it one handed, spun it slowly.

"You know how to use that?"

He set his feet, twirled it in a complicated set of swings, and bared his teeth at her. "Do you?"

She chose a staff for herself, faced Lucifer, and swung.

He blocked the hit, and backed away. He set the staff beside him, more serious now. "What are you doing?"

"I want to know if you can defend yourself. Lania might take offense at being questioned. If you come with me, I want to make sure you're ready."

He simply stared. "Lania is the threat. What does that have to do with fighting each other?"

Maze rolled her eyes and swung her staff in a fast arc, whacking him on the hip. He stood steady, glaring, but didn't raise his staff toward her.

"Afraid I'll win?"

Lucifer snorted a half laugh. But finally, he raised his staff.

Maze grinned. "I'll take it easy on you," she offered. "You are still recovering, after all."

And there was the fire she was waiting for. Lucifer's eyes flashed red and he advanced, the staff spinning through the air. Maze ducked as it narrowly missed her head, and rolled as she swept out at his feet. The air in the room rushed as his wings burst into being and he jumped.

The wings acted as extra balance, and Maze was enthralled by the flow of his movements. Other than the first swing at her head, he didn't made another direct attack, rather blocking her attempts, or using her power against her by setting her off balance with complementary rather than offensive movements.

He fought strong for a while. Maze's breathed hard herself by the time his movements started to become strained. She fought on, and Lucifer continued, too.

A lucky hit caught his shin before he could round her staff and direct it away. A jab to the ribs that he was too slow to dodge followed.

Maze lowered her staff. Lucifer mirrored her. It took effort not to grin. His style was strange, she wasn't impressed that he made no direct attacks, but he was far more skilled than she'd expected. "Let's take a break."

He rolled his shoulders, tucking the wings back out of existence. He eyed her defiantly but kept quiet.

Perhaps he was more tired than she suspected. No argument, no bargaining, no threats? If he was a whelp he would have—but he wasn't a whelp. He wasn't Lilim. She had to continuously remind herself not to judge him by Lilim standards.

First, some food. She led him back through the spawn mayhem—only a few were still actively wrestling, the rest having crawled off into corners to nap in piles—down the hall to the kitchen. It was empty.

She grabbed a bowl of already prepared stew for Lucifer and a well proportioned slice of meat for herself. "Next ashfall we'll track Lania and make her pay."

He tilted the bowl back and forth, watching the porridge slide from side to the other. "What for? Everything Rillam said—I don't think I was there against my will."

"That's what lethe does. Supplying it to you at all is an offense to both of us."

He kept fidgeting with the bowl, his shoulders hunched. "What if I still want it?"

She recognized shame and hoped to dissipate it. "How could you not? It's lethe. That's why it's an attack, Lucifer. They knew what lethe does and knew that you didn't. They gave it to you, knowing it destroys the will, knowing it makes you crave it, knowing that it might damage your mind forever."

His fists clenched and his eyes flared. "I was manipulated and used, so they could hurt you?

Mazikeen nodded glad that he finally understood. "Yes, and we'll make them pay. Eat. Rest for one more ashfall."

"I've been sitting around long enough. We'll find Lania this ashfall, I'm well enough to take care of myself."

Maze grinned. That was the defiance she'd been hoping for. "So be it."

The worms were still feasting on the moss on the ceiling of their chamber when they returned, Maze eyed them with disdain as she chose what she wanted Lucifer to wear: his best clothing, the sleeveless vest and leggings she and Izuden had picked out for him.

"Are we going to be fighting?"

"Possibly."

"Shouldn't I wear something more suited to fighting?" he said, waving at the looser chiton and leggings he already wore.

"You wear this," Maze said pushing his best made clothes at him, "and everyone will look at you with respect. Clothes mark your rank in society."

"Why?"

"It's the way things are."

He stopped questioning and began changing into the clothes she'd set out. He finished getting dressed and, as usual, Maze inspected his attire after. She adjusted the vest and smoothed out his belt. "Sit down, I'll outline your eyes for you."

He sat and looked up at the glow worms on the ceiling as she carefully drew around his eyes, tapering off to a line at the side. And then she passed the kohl to him. "Do mine?"

He held the stick in his hand, his hands were steadier than they'd been since waking up in this place, and she hoped he would be able to do an adequate job of it. He'd done her eyes before as practice, but not for any purpose like this.

When he was done he sat back and looked at his work.

"How is it?" Maze asked.

Just by the way he was studying her she knew he'd done a good job. He was looking for imperfections, and if he had to look that hard, she was sure it was fine.

"Sandals," she reminded him, and watched as he tied. He didn't protest when she checked. How was she to know what skills had been affected by the lethe overdose he'd suffered? There could be fighting, she didn't want to take any chances. They were done perfectly. "Don't forget your cloak."

Lucifer gave her a self-satisfied look and waved her on. They walked side by side, winding their way through the network of mostly level caverns until reaching a heavy metal door. "The offspring are the greatest treasure of the Spire," Maze stopped to explain.

Lucifer frowned, stepped past her and placed his hand on the door. "Maze," his wings emerged and flexed up against his back. "All this time. You brought me here? Left me here?"

Mazikeen put her hand on his arm, but he shrugged it off. "The dames don't come in here—"

"Izuden does."

"The Spire is the most defensible structure within the stronghold. In case of an attack, the dames and the spawn are protected above all else." Maze watched his face closely, trying to interpret his frown. Did he understand she would never allow anyone to confine him like that, ever again? "What they did to you in the dungeon is deep below here. It's a different section of caverns cut off from the Nest."

"Where does this door lead?"

"Into the Spire."

"There's only the one way in and out?"

"No. There is an escape route should the stronghold be taken by enemies. But that's not a way open to us. Pull up your cloak."

He glared, but he pulled it up, tugging the hood low over his face. She lifted the heavy bar and stepped out into the spire. Lucifer made his wings disappear. He sighed dramatically and stepped into the hall behind her. She pulled the door closed behind her and thumped the drum beside the door to let the nest minders know to come bar the door.

Lucifer fell in behind her without a sound when she began walking. She stopped and so did he. "Lucifer?" He didn't respond. Turning back, she saw he was standing head down, drawn into himself to look non-threatening, but the glow of his eyes lit the shadow under the hood. She gritted her teeth. They were not doing this again. She regretted ever telling him to keep his head down.

She tugged the hood down, and he looked away, closing his eyes to block the glow. "Come walk with me. Have you seen the carvings? The fire went out and he met her gaze with wide eyes. She nodded and threaded her arm through hers, as dames often did with their chosen males. He strode beside her, and while she could feel the tension in him, he gazed at the surroundings with wonder. She was done playing the game of proper Lilim. She was Mazikeen, hunter, warrior, Eldest—she would hold her head high and insist Lucifer to do the same. She would never have him show submission to Lilim again. Never.

She steered him toward the weapons storage. Nodded to the warrior guarding the door. No one questioned her presence. Various weapons lined the walls. It was an impressive collection. One she had helped amass. "Sword or staff?"

He examined the selection, hand trailing over the various styles, resting finally on a pointed staff. "This will do."

Mazikeen choose a sword with a thick sturdy blade.

They made it outside without incident, not that she'd expected one. The dames occupied an area of the Spire separated from the nest by store rooms and guard barracks. Mazikeen took Lucifer through the side entrance used by servants and other lower ranked Lilim, and the guard snoring near the door door didn't twitch as they exited.

"Where do we find Lania?"

"In her Den. It's a long walk. Come on."

"You know Lania isn't the shadow Lilim."

"Lania is...special. She used to be a dame. Lethe used to be more common. If you only take a small amount, you believe something you want to be real is real, and it deadens pain."

He hummed but said nothing.

"Taking too much leaves you vulnerable. Heightened sensitivity to pain, disorientation, damage to your mind, damage to your body." She glanced at him, but he'd pulled his hood up again so she couldn't see his face. "It's bad enough for the average Lilim. When a dame takes even a little Lethe, she loses the ability to make sprogs. Her eyes turn yellow. She's marked forever as a failure to be shunned. Lania used to be a dame, do you understand?"

"She uses it?"

"Yes. Lethe is dangerous. It's one of the only things Lilim everywhere agree on. Think how easy it could be to poison an entire spire if you had a large enough supply." She turned again to avoid the busy marketplace.

"It doesn't seem that hard to obtain." Lucifer's tone dripped with disdain.

"You were targeted. If I knew you were on lethe, I would have done more to stop you."

"I would have resisted."

"It would have been worth it."